So in today's video,
I'm going to share some journal prompts for healing codependency,
Prioritizing self-care and starting to set boundaries because that's the core of codependency recovery.
And if you're new,
My name is Michelle Ferris.
I'm a psychotherapist and I love helping people create relationships that work.
So one of the simplest tools I've ever taught for people who are codependent is journaling because part of healing codependency is increasing awareness.
And it's also something that you can do by yourself.
So if you're alone,
You don't have any support right now,
But you're stuck,
You're feeling off,
Journal prompts are a great way to start healing yourself.
Not to solve other people's problems,
But to get in touch with your own and to start shifting that focus away from other people and back onto yourself.
Because in our codependency,
We're really stuck in worrying about what other people think,
What other people are doing,
How we can help more.
But that leads to more anxiety.
And I don't want that for you.
So I use journal prompts all the time in my own recovery because there are times when I just feel a little bit off,
But I don't exactly know what caused it.
So that's when writing can be super helpful.
And what I love about it is it increases your emotional dependency on yourself because it's very empowering in your codependency to be able to heal yourself without anyone else being involved.
And that's why I think journal prompts is a really powerful tool in codependency recovery.
So when would you use a journal prompt?
When something feels off,
When you're upset but you're not sure why,
Or maybe you just got triggered and you know you have a lot of emotion and expressing it is probably not a good idea.
That's where these journal prompts are gonna really help you.
Let's get started.
Every time I use these journal prompts,
It always gives me clarity and it actually centers me faster than anything else because after writing a couple of paragraphs,
I know what the problem is and that leads me to the solution.
Sometimes that means I need to take action and other times it means I just need to sit still and honor and validate where I'm at emotionally.
And that's another reason why I love journal prompts is because it's a way to give yourself that validation instead always asking it from other people.
So let's start with self-care.
No matter where you're at in your codependency journey,
Self-care is usually an issue that needs to be revisited because you can always get better at it.
So here's your first journal prompt.
What does your self-care look like right now?
Are you doing it?
Are you not doing it?
What does it look like?
Maybe some of you are doing it and have started this journey.
So your question would be what can you add to your self-care?
What would make your self-care even more meaningful to you?
Here are some common examples.
Physical needs.
You always want to start with that first because if you're not well rested,
You're not eating properly,
You're not giving yourself some downtime and rest,
Everything else is going to be out of whack.
You're going to be more reactive in your relationships.
You're not going to have a lot of patience for your kids because you're running on empty and I don't want that for you.
So what I want you to do is just take a few minutes and write down what your self-care looks like right now and what you can do to improve it.
So the next part of self-care I want you to identify is your emotional needs.
This is for support,
Connection,
Love,
Validation.
Where are you at right now with your emotional needs?
Are you able to ask for what you want in relationship?
Or do you pretend you don't have any needs because it's too scary to ask for them?
No matter where you're at right now,
I don't want you to judge it.
But I do want you to get in touch with what are those emotional needs that could really help you feel happier and healthier in the long run because you deserve that connection and that support.
For instance,
If you don't have any support right now and you feel really isolated,
You might consider joining a 12-step group for Emotions Anonymous or Al-Anon or Codependence Anonymous.
These are free groups that can really help you feel more connected to a community.
You can also do this with hobbies.
Maybe you want to take a yoga class or a tai chi class or something online.
Important to honor the emotional needs you have for connection because we all need that.
Another thing about emotional needs is that we want to spread them out because in our codependency,
I know for me,
I've tended to put all my emotional energy into one or two people and that's not what we want to do because what we want to do in our codependency recovery is avoid that unhealthy dependency too much on one person.
So if you have emotional needs for connection and friendship,
See if you can start a couple of new friendships at a time.
One and put all your emotional eggs in their basket because that's more codependent behavior and we want to get away from that.
Another important part of self-care is your spiritual needs.
This is a need to belong to a community.
Maybe for you it's going to church or having a spiritual community or a yoga or meditation practice.
It doesn't matter what it is.
It's more about defining it for yourself because spiritual needs are not necessarily what people come to to look for in codependency recovery.
But if you're further along in your recovery process,
Spiritual needs are worth looking at.
My spiritual needs are often met in my 12-step groups because it's something bigger than me.
And for me,
I have a very strong connection to my higher power when I participate in those meetings.
But your spiritual needs are totally up to you.
Now let's talk about boundaries.
I talk about three main ones.
Spiritual boundaries and let me explain each one.
So the physical boundary is how much physical distance you need in order to feel safe and comfortable with other people.
One quick way to do this is ask somebody to stand on the other side of the room and you take your time walking towards them and stop when you're comfortable.
That will tell you how much space you need in order to feel safe.
And that's a really great thing to know,
Especially if you have a history of abuse or having your boundaries violated.
So that's your next journal prompt.
How much space do you need in order to feel comfortable in your relationships?
And you can take a minute to write that out.
Another journal prompt is what physical boundaries are important to you.
Like for instance,
If you have someone in your life that you don't feel safe with,
A boundary might be you have phone calls with them,
But you don't do anything heavy in person because you don't feel safe with them.
That could also be an example of a physical boundary.
So for emotional boundaries,
This usually comes up when somebody is doing something that is not okay with us or not treating us well.
Maybe someone is a yeller and you really don't want to participate in that,
But you don't know how to leave the room.
That may be part of what you work towards in your emotional boundaries because hanging out with somebody who's yelling is no fun.
So for emotional boundaries,
It's really about how do you take care of yourself in your relationships when somebody is doing something that doesn't feel good to you.
For instance,
If somebody is name-calling you or yelling or treating you badly,
What emotional boundary do you want to set?
Do you want to leave the room?
Do you want to say something like,
You know what?
This conversation isn't going well.
I'm going to take a timeout.
What do you need to do to protect yourself?
Because boundaries are about what we choose to do,
Not getting other people to change their behavior.
That's more of a request.
If you don't feel safe with someone,
That might mean just leaving the room and then letting that be okay.
Because when people mistreat you,
That's not okay.
And it's perfectly acceptable for you to leave the room.
Because what you're doing there is you're voting with your feet.
And that sends a very powerful message without being mean or selfish.
You're literally just voting with your feet and saying,
You know what,
I'm not going to participate in this.
And that is a very powerful boundary.
In my free guide that hopefully have given you a head start so you probably already see how powerful these journal prompts can be for you because it's going to really clarify what you need and what your truth is in your relationships and the more you get in touch with that through journaling the more you're going to make progress in your recovery.
Thanks so much.
