We're told our whole lives that men are supposed to be decisive,
Strong and action orientated,
Leaders,
Protectors,
The ones who know what to do.
But here's what actually happens for most men.
We've learned early on that being wrong was actually dangerous.
Maybe you made a decision as a kid and got punished for it or your peers made jokes about you for it and then that was your new nickname.
Or even much deeper,
Maybe your father criticized you every time you screwed up,
And maybe you were shamed for failing,
Or maybe you were told you were stupid.
Careless,
Irresponsible when you made a mistake.
So you learned don't trust yourself because if you trust yourself and you're wrong you're not safe.
The world doesn't feel safe when you're wrong.
And that's the wound.
There it is,
Crystallized in action for you,
Still running your life.
Now as an adult,
Every decision feels like high stakes because it's not just about the decision itself,
It's about what the decision says about you.
And if you make the wrong choice,
It proves.
.
.
What you've always feared.
That you're inadequate in some sort.
Which is irrational thinking,
But that's where you may naturally go to.
And that you can't be trusted,
That you're not the man you're supposed to be.
So instead of deciding,
You seek external validation.
You ask your partner what she thinks.
You poll your friends.
You look for someone else to tell you what to do.
And if that goes wrong,
It's not entirely on you.
But here's the problem with that.
Every time you abandon yourself to get someone else's approval,
You end up weakening your connection to your own inner authority.
You're training yourself not to trust your gut There's a term,
You're retarding your internal technology.
I really like that one.
And over time,
You lose access to it entirely.
You don't even know what you want anymore because you've spent so long asking someone else,
Using chat GBT,
Using all these different AI models that you don't know the right direction that your own body's pointing you towards.
And there's another layer to this.
Many men struggle with decision making because they're trying to make the perfect choice,
Perfectionism.
The one that guarantees success,
The one that eliminates risk.
It's impossible.
But that's what we still in turn turn towards.
But that choice doesn't exist.
Life doesn't work that way.
Every decision literally is a gamble.
Every day is almost a gamble.
Every path has unknowns.
And waiting for certainty is just another way of avoiding responsibility.
Another truth about indecision.
Is when you don't choose you're choosing to stay stuck when you don't choose you're choosing to stay stuck and you're choosing to let circumstances decide for you.
You are choosing to stay small.
