Hello and welcome.
My name is Mark.
Just take a moment to settle into a comfortable position,
Allow your hands to rest.
Let your shoulders drop a little maybe and just notice the support beneath you.
There is nowhere else you need to be,
Just for these next few minutes This practice is about standing up for yourself,
About recognizing your limits.
And allowing yourself to say no.
When something does not feel right.
A lot of us,
And that can be surprisingly difficult.
We may worry about disappointing someone,
We may fear being seen as selfish,
Awkward,
Or being seen as unkind.
Sometimes we say yes,
Just because it feels easier than dealing with the discomfort of saying no.
So,
Today we are going to practice something different.
.
.
Take a slow breath in.
.
.
And breathe out.
Bring your attention into your body.
Notice your jaw.
Your shoulders,
Notice your chest.
Your stomach.
Now think of a recent ordinary everyday situation where maybe somebody asked something of you,
And a part of you didn't really want to agree.
Just bring to mind something that's not too painful,
Just small for now,
Perhaps you were asked for your time or your help or your attention or just your agreement.
Whatever it was,
Just notice what happened inside you.
Maybe your stomach tightened a bit or you kind of felt like a physical resistance.
Maybe your mind immediately began searching for a reason you could give.
Our bodies often recognise a boundary before we find the words for it.
They can be.
Like a sense of no before we even have the confidence to say it out loud.
Right,
Take another breath.
And remind yourself.
I am allowed to have limits.
I am allowed to take a moment before I answer.
I am allowed to say no.
Notice how those words feel You may feel a little discomfort.
But that's okay.
Feeling uncomfortable.
Doesn't automatically mean you are doing something wrong.
Sometimes discomfort just means you're doing something unfamiliar perhaps that same situation again someone asked something of you This time,
Instead of answering immediately,
You pause,
You breathe and you check in with yourself.
And you ask.
What do I actually want here?
If you find the answer is no,
Imagine that answer to matter.
You might say something like,
No,
I can't do that.
That doesn't work for me.
I'm not comfortable with that.
Really notice that a boundary doesn't have to sound angry.
You do not have to become cold or hard.
You can still remain kind and still be clear.
Now,
Imagine that other person looking disappointed.
Perhaps they ask again,
Perhaps they try to persuade you,
Just notice what happens inside you.
This can be the hardest part.
Not simply saying no,
But allowing another person to have feelings about your no.
Take another breath.
And remind yourself,
Their disappointment doesn't mean I have done something wrong.
I can care about someone without always giving them what they want.
I do not have to abandon myself to keep anybody else comfortable.
Allow these words to settle.
Now bring to mind one area of your life where a clearer boundary might help Just see if you can bring to mind one.
Maybe you keep agreeing to something that drains you.
Maybe someone expects more of your time than you want to give maybe you just need more space.
Just ask yourself gently,
Where is my limit?
What would I like to say?
Allow a simple response to come to mind.
Perhaps it's… no,
Not this time.
Maybe,
I need some space.
Or simply.
Now imagine yourself saying it calmly,
Not a long explanation,
No rushing to make it sound acceptable.
Just a clear response.
And then imagine staying with yourself afterwards.
Breathing.
Allowing the silence,
Allowing the other person to respond you do not have to fill up every silent gap,
You do not have to immediately take your boundary back,
Bring one hand to your chest or stomach if that feels comfortable.
Remembering that you are also someone whose needs deserve your care.
Because your time matters.
Your energy matters.
Your comfort matters.
You do not have to wait until you're exhausted or resentful before you are allowed to draw a line,
Sometimes a boundary is simply an honest recognition of what you can and and cannot give.
And boundaries take practice.
You may sometimes say yes and regret it later.
You may sometimes explain more than you wanted to.
You may feel guilty even when you know your boundary is perfectly reasonable.
But feeling those things doesn't mean that you've messed up or failed.
Because you can notice and you can learn and next time you can pause before answering.
Take one more slow breath in.
And breathe out.
Let these words remain with you.
I am allowed to say no.
My needs matter to.
I am allowed to say no.
My needs matter too.
I can be kind without giving myself away.
Now begin to notice the room around you again,
Any sounds nearby,
Noticing the support beneath your body,
Move your toes and fingers,
If it's comfortable for you,
Maybe roll your shoulders.
And then,
When you were ready.
Gently open your eyes.
And as you move into the rest of your day,
Notice the small moment before you say an automatic yes,
Because that moment is your opportunity to check in,
To listen,
And to remember that standing up for yourself begin with one calm clear no.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
Have a beautiful rest of your day.
Go in peace.
Namaste.
