Welcome,
My name is Lucy Orton and I am an IFS therapist and also a relational life therapy coach working with couples.
This meditation is inspired both by the amazing work of RLT and IFS and I hope you find it incredibly useful for you.
It is about boundaries.
It is about creating an internal practice that supports your energetic and emotional boundaries.
This kind of boundary will allow you to stay in your self-energy,
To stay steady and to stay connected to what's true,
What's real,
What's nourishing and kind for you.
So wherever you are,
I invite you to get yourself comfortable,
You can close your eyes if that feels safe or you can simply soften your gaze.
Begin by settling into your breathing.
Take nourishing,
Deep or shallow breaths.
Allow yourself to notice that breathing,
There is no need to change anything.
Just the act of breathing allows you to access a different part of your awareness and let yourself drop into a moment of calm.
As you do this,
I want you to bring to mind a beautiful place in nature that feels deeply supportive,
Deeply good to you and your system.
It may be real or imagined.
Perhaps it's a quiet beach,
A corner of your garden that feels cozy and safe,
A forest trail or a snowy place somewhere and your nervous system exhales in this space.
What is this place for you?
Take a few moments and a few more breaths to really arrive there.
Feel the safety,
The spaciousness,
The warmth.
Notice what it feels like in your body to be here.
From this sense,
I want you to imagine forming a boundary around yourself,
Something that comes from the inside out.
It could be a shimmering force field,
A soft and gentle veil,
A circle of light,
A wall of flowers.
Whatever comes to you is right.
This is your boundary.
It is wise.
It is calm and non-negotiable.
Take a moment to get clear on how it feels and notice if there are any parts coming up,
Maybe protective parts who worry about needing to be on guard,
Maybe younger parts that feel uncertain.
Let them know they are safe.
This boundary isn't about pushing people away,
It's about staying in connection with you and this boundary cannot be penetrated by anything that isn't true,
Useful,
Nourishing or safe.
Even if something loud or emotional happens around you,
With this boundary you can choose what comes in.
You get to decide if you want to soften and let that something in or simply hold your boundary and hold your ground.
Let yourself feel the strength of that boundary.
It's quiet.
Power.
It's connection to you.
There's no need to brace.
You don't have to over explain,
Justify or convince anyone.
You don't have to disconnect.
You just remember your boundary.
You put it up and it's already doing the work for you inside your boundary.
You can be warm,
Open-hearted,
Compassionate,
Compassionate,
Present,
Clear and curious.
You don't need to shut down to stay safe within your boundary.
You can remain spacious and fully yourself.
Let this felt sense settle into your whole body.
Feel that flow of self-energy throughout your whole system and when you are ready,
Gently come back,
Return to this room,
This time.
You might open your eyes or gently move your fingers and toes.
Know that this boundary lives inside you and that now you have found it,
You can return to it or to this meditation anytime you need to.
Well done.
