Do You Have Resistance In Your Life? Intuitive Connections

Chapter 10 of Intuitive Business Connections

Intuitive Business Connections is a true story about the lessons learned from entrepreneur, Jadi Kindred. She reveals her trials and tribulations of growing a company from zero to six figures as a young entrepreneur and shares what helped her to succeed year after year. Based on the author’s personal experience of entrepreneurship, intuition, and connecting to cultures worldwide, she takes readers on her inspiring journey of growing her business from the ground up and achieving her dream lifestyle.

This book offers countless ways to grow personally, professionally, and socially and will shift your way of thinking about reaching your own potential.

Transcript

Chapter 10.

Resistance.

Change is never painful.

Only resistance to change is painful.

Buddha.

When I was 17,

I graduated high school a semester early and went to Costa Rica with my mom to learn Spanish at a private language school.

On the weekends,

We were free to travel the country,

Which I happily did.

One of my favorite destinations in Costa Rica is La Fortuna,

Close to the iconic active volcano,

Volcan Arenal.

When I was there,

You could still see and hear the red hot lava spewing at night.

It was also a popular destination for adventure seekers,

Which I was.

One weekend,

I signed up for a whitewater kayaking trip.

The river was at a level three,

And we were only supposed to go if the river was at a level two,

But they let us go anyway.

There was one guide and around 10 other kayakers.

The rapids were intimidating,

But I trusted the guide knew exactly what he was doing.

When others in the back were getting stuck along the side of the river bank,

The guide naturally went back to help them.

This left me at the front of the pack,

Trying to navigate my way through rapids in a river I didn't know.

Quickly,

Panic swept over me,

And I felt a lot of resistance to the situation.

I felt like I was out of control and had no idea where to steer my kayak.

My anxiety level increased and I didn't want to be in that situation any longer.

I turned my back and couldn't see the guide and knew I had to deal with my current situation alone.

I couldn't continue with this level of fear and rigidity.

I intuitively told myself that I needed to change my perception of my current reality and stop resisting the fast flowing river.

So I immediately said to myself,

Bring it on.

From that moment onward,

I looked at every rapid with excitement and enthusiasm.

I stopped resisting and went with the flow.

Even when the river was just as wild and out of control as before,

My mind was calm.

It was a very bizarre experience that happened to me on that river that day.

It felt like a wall was lifted and only expansive energy was before me.

During the last rapid,

I was tossed out of the kayak and found myself swimming to the surface to try and catch my breath.

That moment was full of adrenaline,

But only during that moment when I needed it,

Not the entire trip.

When I came back and told my mom of my adventure and learning,

She was the one who reminded me that I had just learned a wonderful lesson.

It took me a physical,

Visceral example to literally remind myself that it is easier to go with the flow in life than resist it.

When I first began my language school,

Aksai Unique,

I wasn't sure how to find new clients.

I had a website,

Put ads in the Yellow Pages book.

I feel so old,

Since some of you may not know what that was,

And even did mailouts.

One entrepreneur I looked up to told me that I needed to go to networking events.

What do you mean?

I asked.

She told me all about how she would go to breakfast events from 7 a.

M.

To 9 a.

M.

And then do a one-minute speech about her company to the group,

Then spend the rest of the time meeting others.

I couldn't believe it.

I said I could never do that.

First,

At that time,

I woke up at 9 a.

M.

I couldn't imagine myself being anywhere near ready by 7 a.

M.

,

Especially in the winter.

Secondly,

I was petrified of public speaking and couldn't imagine myself doing short presentations in front of others.

Thirdly,

My French was still weak,

And I wouldn't even be able to communicate with the others.

To me,

Going to networking events was attaining the impossible.

She planted a seed in my mind,

Though,

And after many months of only a few new contracts,

I knew I had to step out of my comfort zone for results.

One of the first networking events I chose was for women entrepreneurs.

I was already super shy around men,

So I wanted to ease my way into the networking world.

I also chose an after-work event from 5 p.

M.

To 7 p.

M.

,

Which fit my lifestyle more at that time.

The crowd was middle-aged women.

I was by far one of the youngest there.

I bought a raffle ticket from another young entrepreneur and liked her immediately.

She was bubbly,

Confident,

And energetic.

She invited me to sit beside her during supper.

That night,

We each had one minute to stand up and introduce ourselves in front of the 40 other women there.

When it was my turn,

I stood up and felt like the entire room went white and started spinning.

I had no idea what I said,

But I remember that my hands were shaking when I finished speaking.

My newfound friend turned to me and said,

You need Toastmasters.

Toastmasters International is a U.

S.

-headquartered non-profit educational organization that operates clubs worldwide for the purpose of promoting communication,

Public speaking,

And leadership.

Toastmasters was the last thing I wanted to do,

But I did want to make new friends,

So I accepted her invitation to attend one morning.

The meetings were on Tuesday mornings from 7 a.

M.

To 9 a.

M.

The culture of Toastmasters is extremely welcoming,

Especially to guests,

So I savored all the extra attention on me that morning.

I didn't have to do any speeches,

But just the mere fact of being there created anxiety in me.

I attended a couple more meetings before knowing I really did need this in my life.

One of my biggest fears when speaking French was accidentally referring to a woman in the masculine form,

Or vice versa.

These are simply rules that we don't have in English,

And I felt like it would take me a lifetime to learn.

Each week,

Everyone signed up for a new rule we wanted to have.

Even if I chose a simple rule,

Such as giving a two-minute toast,

It literally took me the entire week to learn the protocol,

Write it,

Translate it,

Correct the translation,

Read it to practice the pronunciation,

Then memorize it.

When Tuesday morning came,

I was way too anxious to eat breakfast,

And then when it was my time to do the actual toast,

The room would start to spin,

And I forgot everything I worked so hard to remember.

Then,

Even after my role was complete,

I sat in anxiety for another two hours until the meeting was over,

Fearing someone would ask me a question or do the table topics,

Impromptu topics to speak about with zero preparation.

Every week,

I would ask myself why I was putting myself through that.

Only after my first icebreaker speech in French,

And winning the best speech that day,

As do all the icebreaker speeches,

Generally speaking,

Did I start to see the benefits of these mornings.

Working through my fears in such a safe and supportive environment gave me more education and confidence than any communication course I could have attended.

I joined a community of locals who later referred me and even became my clients.

I would make the mistakes I feared the most in French,

And no one laughed or got angry.

They appreciated my efforts,

And I often won best speech when I presented.

As the years went by,

My confidence grew and anxiety lessened.

I started accepting evaluation rules and learning how to give constructive criticism,

Which is an essential skill that helps me today.

My ultimate goal was to reach the competent communicator CC level,

Which is completing the 10 speeches,

All with differing themes ranging from organize your speech,

To persuade with power,

To last being inspire your audience.

In my last speech,

I spoke about the benefits of being an entrepreneur,

A topic that is very easy for me to speak about.

I joined Toastmasters off and on and finally achieved my goal after five years.

Most can do it in a year.

By the end,

I was feeling quite comfortable.

So I asked to be chosen for table topics and signed up for a 10 minute speech with five minutes prep time.

Now that I know I can do speeches in French in front of a room full of business professionals,

It feels even easier when I'm asked to do a speech in English.

I feel like leaders are only as good as their communication skills.

Brian Tracy says it best.

Communication is a skill you can learn.

It's like riding a bicycle or typing.

If you're willing to work at it,

You can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.

As my confidence in my public speaking ability grew,

So did my desire to network more.

I started attending a morning event and evening event every week.

One time I had to do a one minute intro about my company in front of a 60 business professionals with a microphone in hand.

My accent was so unique that everyone stopped talking to listen to me.

It was a powerful moment.

The more and more I networked,

The busier I became.

For most of my career,

I wore all the hats.

I would teach classes,

Prepare lessons,

Update my website,

Create marketing campaigns,

Do the invoices,

Monthly bookkeeping,

And attend networking events.

I resisted delegating these tasks to others,

Even though I knew that was the only way to grow.

I was the bottleneck in my company,

Stopping it from growing.

Michael Gerber from his book The E-Myth Revisited writes,

If your business depends on you alone,

You don't own a business,

You own a job.

I definitely owned a job.

I tried to transition out of it,

But I paid my subcontractor teachers almost double the industry standards,

Which made making the profit more difficult.

It was only until 2020 that I really made the jump to business owner because of the inundation of requests for online courses.

I had been offering online courses years earlier,

But the mentality of the new normal had now caught up to my offer.

People were finally open-minded to the idea and saw the benefits of online learning.

I had no choice but to build my team and fast.

I reached out to teachers I wanted on my team and was able to instantly determine who would be a good fit based on the interview and my intuition.

Since I am so confident in my teachers' abilities and found teachers I wish I had when I was learning French as a second language,

I can easily delegate the surplus of contracts I can no longer take.

The less I resist delegation,

The easier and in flow my day become.

I trust my team so much that once I delegate a contract to them,

I have peace of mind that it will be taught in the best way possible.

The ability to go with the flow of change is a much needed quality in business owners.

Remember not to resist the difficult situations.

A learning curve and opportunity for improvement may just be around the corner.

Reviews

Don’t resist… « You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend. »
Bruce Lee