Hi,
So welcome.
This is a session recorded after a live session we did together.
My name is Evelien in Dutch,
Short Eve in English.
And there is nothing more that I love than reconnecting myself back to my own higher consciousness and live from that perspective and frequency.
And from there,
Look at this wonderful and sometimes pretty crazy human life and human experience.
And to understand it more and more every day.
I am on a journey and I'm sharing mine to inspire yours.
Through meditations,
Courses and talks,
What have you.
Yeah,
I'm on a journey of discovery,
Of healing,
Reprogramming and being more and more who I really am.
A divine being having this human experience and seeing through it more and more.
And since we are all such beautiful divine beings,
I really love connecting and co-creating with you.
You are a beautiful,
Wonderful,
Amazing,
Huge divine being.
And co-creation between us it is.
I am now here on this side of the audio,
Recording it for you.
And you are not coincidentally hearing this.
No,
I don't buy that.
We are both here for a reason.
And on some level,
We are all doing this together.
So,
So,
So welcome.
We will start with a short check-in to really arrive here in this space,
In our body,
And to allow everything to come up.
Everything is welcome.
And then we dive into the topic of self-sabotaging.
I will ask you a question and please let come up what comes up for you and bring it into this session with the intent to release whatever is holding you back right now.
Then I'll do a short talk on self-sabotage and our inner framework.
And after that,
We will do a guided reprogramming meditation.
Thank you for being here.
Your presence and intention matter.
Well,
Let's dive in.
There's a lot to share.
First,
Let's have a moment to really,
Really,
Really arrive here in our body,
In this space,
Together.
And for that,
I'd like to ask you to take a deep breath in.
Deep,
Deep breath into your nose.
And as you exhale,
Let go of all the tension.
You can close your eyes if you want to and if you're able to.
And it helps to sink in deeper into your body.
So again,
Take a deep breath in.
Deep,
Deep breath into your nose.
And as you exhale,
Ask to relax.
Ask to let go of all the tension in your shoulders,
Your arms,
Your hands.
Then soften your eyes.
Relax all the muscles in and around your eyes.
And in your face.
Ask your face to become really soft and gentle.
Then,
Just feel your feet on the floor.
Can you become aware of your feet?
How do they feel?
Are they hot or cold?
Don't have to change anything.
Just feel.
From there,
You can put one hand on your belly.
And feel your breath.
Feel your breath.
Under,
In your belly.
Then,
Take some breaths.
Where your exhale is longer than your inhale.
This gives the signal to your nervous system that it is safe to quiet down.
Then I'd like to ask you to put your hands together.
And then use one hand and the fingertips of your hand to touch the fingers and the palm of your other hand.
And just feel all the sensations.
In your fingertips.
In your fingers and in the palm of your hand.
In your other hand as well.
Let thoughts go as they come.
Become very aware of your body.
And then one more time.
Take a deep breath in.
And as you exhale.
I'd like to ask you a question.
Don't have to think of the answer.
Just let it arise from your body.
From your subconscious.
Just let it bubble up.
And my question is,
Where do you notice self-sabotage in your own life right now?
It can be anything.
Like pulling away when things go well.
Your nervous system in the overdrive or losing energy.
When you're being seen or becoming visible.
Or when things go well you get all those thoughts of worry and concern.
You're getting sick or having accidents.
Or you might be ending relationships or opportunities just as they open up.
Where do you notice yourself sabotaging yourself?
And take it with you into this session with the intent to find the root cause and to release that within the meditation we do later.
For now,
Just stay present in your body.
And listen to these words.
I'd like to talk to you about our self-sabotaging mechanism and the energetic framework of the human system.
Our upper and lower limits.
Each of us has a container.
An energetic container.
It has a lower limit.
It's kind of our bottom line.
We do not sink under that.
And we also have an upper limit.
How good we allow ourselves to feel.
How much love,
Joy and abundance we allow ourselves in.
And we do not go beyond that upper limit.
So this is what self-sabotaging is.
It is hitting your upper limit.
And it's quite an interesting thing,
Don't you think?
Because our brain is wired to prioritize survival instead of joy and happiness and abundance and fulfillment and what have you.
We have a funny brain.
It keeps us in default patterns.
In fight,
Flight or freeze whenever tension arises.
And this upper and lower limit,
They form our container,
So to speak.
And the container is the amount of energy,
Of consciousness,
Of information we are able to hold and to carry.
The smaller our container,
The more frozen energy,
The more tight,
The faster our self-sabotaging mechanisms come up.
And all of this comes from trauma.
Trauma is frozen energy stored in the body.
It's energetic charge,
Emotional charge.
Trauma is not about the thing that happened or didn't happen.
It's all about the emotional charge coming along with it.
And the emotional charge is the frozen energy.
It is those old parts in us,
Mostly from childhood,
That store the fear.
And this fear runs so deep that we do not want to feel it.
And as we were kids,
It was indeed way too much to feel.
It was overwhelming.
Truly,
Truly overwhelming.
For your nervous system,
It felt like dying.
So it was either dying or surviving.
And so,
Here it is.
A brilliant working survival mechanism that kept us safe.
That protected us and that made it possible to live,
To stay alive.
To not feel the fear.
Because if we would constantly feel that fear,
We would not have been able to function.
Yes.
But that we've hidden this fear for ourselves doesn't mean it isn't there.
And this stored frozen energy,
This fear,
This emotional charge determines our frequency.
Our energetic container.
Our lower and upper limit.
And there you have it.
It shows when we start to expand beyond it.
Then our survival mechanism kicks in.
And we start to unconsciously sabotage yourself.
In the most creative ways,
I must say.
I know it from my own example.
The moment we release this fear,
This emotional charge or this trauma,
Our container grows.
And that's the process.
That's the process.
Because,
Oh boy,
Fear.
Do we want to get away from that,
Right?
We numb,
We push it away,
What have you.
Fear.
False evidence appearing real.
And how real it can appear.
And I also read somewhere that fear is excitement without breath.
Hmm.
Let that sink in.
Fear is actually excitement without breath.
So,
Indeed,
We tend to hold our breath,
Right,
When we feel that fear in our body.
And then it becomes bigger and bigger.
If we can add breath to the fear and do not push it away anymore,
But let it be here and give it some space to breathe.
Yeah.
Then it just dissolves.
Gradually.
And the fear dissolves also when it is allowed to give us the message.
Because fear shows us something.
When we feel the fear in our stomach,
We tend to contract,
To withdraw or to push it away.
But what if we stayed with it?
We asked it to tell us the message and breathe into it.
Yeah,
Then,
When we are able to stay,
It really turns into excitement.
Then our container grows.
So fear is really a signal to look at something.
You are experiencing something that draws your attention.
First of all,
Let's remember,
When you experience self-sabotage,
This fear,
This pattern,
It's good news.
You are on a roll and on an expedition to find out more about yourself.
Because the very,
Very,
Very good news is,
You are not only this trauma and survival mechanism.
You are not only this human container with this lower and upper limit.
You are so,
So,
So much more.
You are a vast consciousness,
A divine consciousness having a human experience.
Let me take you to a bigger perspective.
It is all about energy and frequency.
And about who you really are.
Consciousness is energy.
Consciousness is a field of information,
Like a Wi-Fi field.
All around us is consciousness.
This reality around us,
Where we live in,
Seems like dense matter.
Like this table,
This computer,
You,
Me,
Our body.
It seems so real,
But it isn't.
It is energy and frequency,
Translated by the brain into a 3D hologram.
We can talk about that more later on in another live session.
But for now,
Just know,
Nothing is solid.
Not even you.
Indeed,
Your body is the most densest part of your entire energy field.
Think of it as water.
In ice,
It is the most dense.
In steam,
It is the most subtle.
And it is all there.
Only the ice can be decoded by the brain.
But it does not mean that the steam does not exist,
Right?
You are multidimensional.
Different energies within you.
You are both the ice and the steam and the water and everything in between.
Some you cannot see,
Others you do see,
Feel sense.
And what you see,
Feel sense,
Is an image your brain makes based upon old stories,
Trauma,
Belief systems,
Programs,
Which you inherited.
But,
As that is in your brain and nervous system right now,
We can also change it.
And from there,
We can also change our survival and self-sabotaging mechanisms.
Because at the end,
We were the ones who put the programs in ourselves.
Subconsciously,
Of course.
But that's the good news as well,
Because we did that ourselves,
We can also take it out ourselves.
It's frequency,
It's information.
And when you are on the level of fear,
There is this contraction.
And when you expand,
You can move beyond the self-sabotaging mechanisms and fear.
As you are so much more than just this human,
You are a way larger energy field.
And then you can also transcend this human programming.
Not from a bypass,
But really release the frequencies that keep you stuck here.
And by releasing them,
You connect to that larger part of you,
Who you really are.
And mind you,
Bypassing is pretending the lower frequencies are not there while they are.
And as they are,
They impact you.
So,
Really addressing them,
Recognizing them,
Releasing the charge,
Is what reprogramming does.
And from there,
You come into alignment with your higher self,
Your own higher consciousness.
Your higher self doesn't operate from fear or sabotage.
Your higher consciousness is connected to Source.
To your Source,
From which you as a divine being originated.
The human you came forth from the divine you,
Which in its turn came forth from the Source at the center of this universe.
And the name,
However you call it,
Doesn't matter.
It's all about a very specific frequency.
When you align with that energy,
You transcend the human collective conditioning.
Because,
And let me take you in a bigger picture one more time.
Because,
OMG,
Here we are,
As humans.
In a collective field of self-sabotaging and self-destructive patterns.
I can tell you this,
But you only have to look around you to see it all over the place.
Yeah.
Do you know where it came from?
Maybe you know it,
Maybe not.
But on this earth,
The humans embarked on a very unusual and difficult journey.
About 200,
000 years ago.
And that journey,
Basically,
If you want to summarize it,
Is a self-destructive,
A self-sabotaging journey.
Because it is based on misaligned behavior and misaligned belief systems.
And it's coming forth from the separation from Source.
From the base of life,
Basically.
And what happens in that misalignment,
In that separation from Source,
That eventually leads into a pattern that is outside of Source.
And you can stay there for a while,
Feed yourself with fear,
But ultimately,
It's this self-sabotaging,
Self-destructive pattern.
Auto-destructive.
It destructs itself.
Because through this misalignment,
It's disconnection from the life force,
From the life flow,
From the divine flow,
From Source itself,
It cannot sustain itself.
This matrix,
This collective consciousness,
Can sustain itself for a while on fear.
But eventually it runs out.
Because it is no longer connected to Source.
And look around you.
You have all the proof you want.
All that destruction.
But what if?
What if you could reconnect,
Even here,
When we are part of this collective madness,
Connect back home,
Back to Source,
And bring that energy here,
Into our own experience,
And into this collective human field?
And so,
What happens here for us?
Here we are now,
In this moment in time,
In Earth's history.
We are appearing in this human form,
And in this collective consciousness.
Well,
Brave being that you are.
Because you enter this collective bubble,
This Wi-Fi field of information,
That has been filled with fear,
And with self-sabotaging patterns for thousands of thousands of years,
For really such a long time.
And since we are in this consciousness,
We have to do some readjustments and reprogramming,
To go back to that divine flow again.
The good news?
When you change things in you,
You change them in the collective.
And when things are changed in the collective,
More people can join.
More people will find that flow again.
Your brain is like the internet.
When you update your system,
Others can access it too.
So,
Well,
Having said all of this,
What can you do?
If you find yourself in this self-sabotaging mode,
Holding yourself back,
Struggling,
Feeling the fear,
Well,
The first thing,
Have compassion with yourself.
You are human.
Do you know how brave that is?
To be human in this time,
And have all these experiences?
Don't judge your process.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
You are doing great.
There's nothing wrong.
You're just invited to have a look,
So you can remember more of who you really are.
That's the invitation.
That's step one.
Step two.
Stay with the feeling.
Bring yourself to the present moment when this fear arises.
Ask yourself,
Do I really have a problem right now?
And breathe.
Give this fear some breath.
Bring breath into the fear,
And it will turn into curiosity.
And even,
If you might get very lucky,
Some excitement.
Just welcome it in.
Step three.
Releasing the patterns.
This self-sabotaging is pointing at patterns,
And patterns are just energy.
Ask to find the root cause.
Ask your higher self to show you the root cause.
And then step four.
Raise your vibration.
When you have received information on the root cause,
Ask and intend your higher consciousness to let go of this feeling,
Of this emotion,
Of this root cause that comes up.
Ask to let go of the emotional charge.
You release,
You let go,
And your frequency raises.
And this is what Einstein meant by problems cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness as they were created.
You raise your vibration,
You grow,
You expand your awareness,
And your container grows.
In this way,
You turn your self-sabotaging pattern from something bad into your greatest gift.
A gift that raises your vibration,
Brings you home to your true self,
And opens you up for more love,
For more joy,
For more life,
So to speak.
So in a way,
We can be grateful as well.
Let's experience this in a guided meditation.
Take a deep breath in.
Deep,
Deep breath into your nose.
And exhale through your mouth.
And just relax.
Relax your face.
Soften your eyes.
Ask to let go of the tension in your shoulders,
Your arms,
Your hands.
Ask to be very relaxed,
Yet very clear.
And again,
Take a deep breath in.
Deep,
Deep breath.
And as you exhale,
Quiet your mind,
Quiet your thoughts.
Then go to your heart.
And from your heart,
Say,
I ask and intend to create a sacred space.
And I ask and intend to keep away all distracting thoughts,
Energies,
And information.
I ask to quiet my mind,
To be very present,
Very alert.
And I now ask for the energy of my own higher consciousness and the energy of Source to be present with me now.
In this meditation,
I ask to discern the energies and frequencies of my own being with accuracy and precision.
And I ask to bring up in this session the root cause of my own self-sabotaging and self-destructive patterns that I may be aware of or maybe not.
I ask for them to be addressed and reversed once and for all.
And so it is.
Take a deep breath in.
And as you exhale,
Focus on your navel.
Focus on a point behind your navel and imagine that there is a zero point,
A vortex-like point as a little ball of light just create that small sphere of light right there,
Behind your navel.
And then slowly,
Slowly expand this ball of light out towards your skin.
Just imagine that this sphere of light is filling your entire body.
From the inside out all the way to the skin.
And then as you focus on this ball of light begin to feel,
See,
Sense what your physical body is experiencing right now.
Just feel.
No thoughts,
No analysing,
No judgement.
Just observing and feeling.
Is it busy?
Is it tired,
Stressed?
Agitated?
Relaxed,
Maybe?
What comes up for you?
Just feel.
Just observe.
And without projecting ask your higher consciousness to give you a sense of the frequency of your consciousness frequency within your body.
Ask for your higher consciousness to give you a number.
Is it a hundred?
Two hundred?
Three hundred,
Maybe?
There is no right or wrong.
Just allow and trust.
Trust yourself.
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale now ask your higher consciousness to let you feel,
See,
Sense or know where your upper limit vibrates.
Your energetic upper boundary from your human aspect.
Where does it vibrate?
How does it feel?
No right or wrong here as well.
It is what it is.
Is it at a fifty?
A hundred?
Two hundred?
Don't project.
Only feel and experience.
And the good news is there is more to expand to.
You are more than this.
But first let's release.
Let's release the root cause of our self-sabotaging patterns.
We now ask for our higher consciousness to bring up all those self-destructive patterns within us.
Self-sabotaging.
And maybe you can feel it,
Sense it.
What comes up for you?
Say,
I now ask and intend to receive information about the root cause of why I do sabotage myself.
And whatever comes up just feel.
Maybe you feel tension in your throat or a knot in your stomach.
Maybe you feel sadness or anger coming up.
Then just say,
I ask and intend to bring up all the patterns within me that have to do with me being here in this human form on earth.
The deep sadness of the journey I have embarked on.
The deep sadness of all these sabotaging patterns all around me.
And my deep despair of me not knowing whatever to do about that.
It seems so big and I seem so small.
I ask and intend to bring up all that information and emotions about that there is no point in me being here in this human form in this messy world.
I ask and intend to bring up all the energies,
All the sadness,
All the despair,
All the anger and the frustration about how chaotic this planet has become and I can't simply do anything about it.
I ask and intend to bring up my powerlessness,
My sense of powerlessness,
My sense of despair from every cell in my body,
From my shoulders,
My neck,
My throat,
From my spine,
From my entire nervous system,
Every cell in my body,
From my conscious,
Subconscious and cellular memory.
I ask to let go of all of these patterns that keep me stuck in a cycle of self-sabotaging.
Take a deep breath in and exhale.
Feel again.
If you feel any relief,
You are releasing these lower frequencies and even if you're not feeling anything,
Just trust the process.
Your higher consciousness knows exactly what it's doing.
What you are doing.
And then feel what comes up now.
I feel the tension in the throat,
I feel sadness,
I feel fear.
So I say,
I now ask and intend to bring up all the patterns and information that have to do with fear of being here on Earth.
Being here in this human form,
Being separated,
Being separated from my Source,
Being all alone here.
Not knowing what to do and how this whole thing works here on Earth and in this human body.
I ask to let go of all the belief systems that have to do with this confusion and this feeling about that it doesn't make any sense for me to be here.
I ask to let go of the anger,
The resentment of being put here in this confusing reality.
I ask to let go of every feeling of feeling lost and confused.
And I ask and intend to let go of my belief that I'm being left here all alone by my Creator.
Without any means,
Without any resources.
Pretty blind actually.
So how am I ever going to find my way back home again?
So I now ask to let go of this sense of disconnection and all the belief systems that are attached to that.
I ask and intend to release everything that is attached to this subject once and for all from every cell of my body,
From my conscious,
Subconscious and cellular memory.
Take a deep breath in and exhale and visualize particles of energy leaving your body,
Leaving your energy field.
And as we have done this release,
You might feel already a little bit lighter.
So let's continue with the process and expand this bubble of light that was inside your body a little bit more outwards.
About 10 centimeters outside of your body.
Take a moment to feel.
What does this feel like?
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale,
Feel.
Feel the bubble of light about 10 centimeters around your body.
Is it any different here?
And as we continue the process,
We ask and intend to raise our vibration to 300 Hz,
400 Hz,
500 Hz.
Your higher consciousness knows exactly what to do and how to take you there.
And as you are being taken there,
Your energy field expands.
The higher your frequency,
The more expansion within your energy field.
So now ask your higher consciousness to take you all the way up to 733 Hz and feel what happens there.
Your higher consciousness knows you don't have to make anything happen.
Just ask.
Ask to expand my energy field all the way to 733 Hz around my body.
And notice how it feels.
Be in the moment and feel.
And again,
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale,
Continue to push your energy field outward and ask your higher consciousness to take you to 734 Hz and feel what happens there.
This 734 is the bridge.
This is the opening to the new grid,
To the new earth grid,
To the new reality.
Take your energy field out of this frequency prison.
Maybe you can feel it and sense it.
Ask your higher consciousness to let you feel and experience what it feels like at this level of frequency.
Just relax and feel.
Now ask your higher consciousness all the way up to 800 Hz to 1000 Hz.
And notice what is the difference between here and where you began at the beginning of this meditation.
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale,
Expand even further and ask to merge with your own spirit energy,
Your spirit self,
Your original nature.
It's beyond the 1100 Hz.
How does it feel?
Take a moment to feel and again take a deep breath in and as you exhale we go one step further.
Ask to expand even further and to be merged with your true original consciousness and just feel.
Feel how expansive you are.
Feel who you really are.
How does it feel?
How is it different?
And this part of you is fully connected to Source,
To our divine creator,
Our divine father,
Creator of this universe from which you emerged as a divine being.
We now ask and intend to fully connect to the energy of Source,
To the energy of home,
To the energy of your creator,
Which is unconditional love,
Truth,
Beauty and goodness.
So say from your heart,
I now ask and intend to connect powerfully to Source and to feel,
See,
Sense very clearly the original frequency of my essence and the source of all of life.
So visualize at the center of this universe a massive ball of light,
A ball of light which is a consciousness.
It's a field of information,
A field of pure and unconditional love.
There is no self-sabotaging whatsoever in this energy.
So just imagine that there is this point in the universe.
Feel this energy.
And now visualize,
Intend,
Imagine to bring this pure white light,
Unconditional love,
That original energy,
The original essence of you back with you to your human experience.
So imagine that you wrap yourself within this light and you travel back through space wrapped in this light,
Pure unconditional love,
Pure white light.
You bring it with you as you move through the galaxies to space,
To this planetary system,
To the Earth.
This is the same source frequency that you brought with you from source and it's now here with you.
Bring it above your head to the location where you are right now.
The same source frequency,
Pure white light,
Untainted,
Untouched.
This is the original essence that you really are.
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale bring this light gradually through the top of your head.
Every cell in your head and your skull and your brain is absorbing this energy.
Every cell is finally relaxing in this energy,
Bathing in this energy.
Just imagine and then every cell being filled with this pure source energy,
Your original divine frequency and DNA,
Your divine blueprint.
And as every cell within your body and energy field comes in contact with this energy,
It resets itself to its original settings.
Pure health pure joy pure life.
Without any trace of what self-sabotage whatsoever,
It's simply not there.
This is the energy of who you really are.
Bring this energy through.
Through every cell in your throat and your neck.
Pure white light in your shoulders,
Arms and hands.
This light,
Pure source energy,
Pure white light is filling your chest and your upper back,
Your stomach and lower back,
Your hips and thighs,
Your knees,
It's filling your legs all the way to your ankles and your feet.
And this energy comes out of your feet,
Anchoring you down deep,
Deep into the earth.
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale,
Keep imagining every cell absorbing this pure white light.
You become this pure white light in this physical body.
Allow your body to be filled with pure,
Pure source energy.
Bring your focus to your heart and say,
I am source.
I am pure light.
I am pure energy and pure,
Unconditional love.
And from this place,
From this expanded awareness and a completely new energy and frequency,
Look at your human self.
Look at your human aspect,
Your ego,
Your trauma part where all that energy is stuck at your inner child.
This brave,
Brave,
Brave human being that you are.
And say to it,
Say from this new perspective and this new energy to this other part in you which is within this human experience and within this human collective.
Say,
I see you.
I see how much you have been through,
How much you've suffered and how alone you have felt.
I see you and I will listen to you so the energy can start moving again.
Whatever you want to tell me,
I will listen when the time is right.
I trust this process to be guided by my own higher consciousness and I trust it to be safe and comfortable at all times.
And so it is.
Take a deep breath in and as you exhale look at your survival mechanism that protects her and say,
Thank you for working so hard to keep me safe.
Thank you for me to be able to function as a human and to make it up until here.
I thank you.
You are also part of me and perfect as you are.
I thank you when I allow you now to rest because now I know there is this bigger part in me.
It is activated and this part allows us to live our lives at an entirely different level and I now ask you to support me in that process of thriving instead of surviving.
Yeah,
Let's have some fun together.
And so it is.
Take a deep breath in and exhale.
And now while you're still fully merged with this energy of the Divine Father creator of this universe just say from your heart I remember I am this energy always.
I am now beginning a new journey fully equipped with this new frequency totally merged and wrapped with this new energy and frequency of Source our Divine Creator which is pure and unconditional love.
There is no self-destruction or self-sabotage in this energy and this is the energy I am bringing right now.
This energy allows me as it allows every human on the planet to feel and experience this new Earth's journey as brand new filled with joy filled with excitement and total freedom.
This is a new trajectory as of now as of today it is my new trajectory I choose it now and so it is.
Take a deep breath in and exhale you can stay in this energy for as long as you want drink some water let it unfold your higher consciousness knows exactly what to do just trust and whenever you're ready you can open your eyes and from my heart to yours thank you so much for being here.
