ADHD And Meditation

How do you meditate when you have ADHD? How, when the very notion of focus and attention are the very things that we struggle so monumentally with?

As an adult with ADHD who has meditated both consistently and inconsistently for 30 years, I have some thoughts. I will address the restlessness and the feeling that we need to do it "right".

Transcript

All right, Quick disclaimer up top. This is not medical advice. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. I'm not an electrician. So if something sparks in this conversation, I don't know how to help you. You're going to have to ground yourself. All right, Today we're going to talk about meditation for ADHD years. My name is Russ Jones. I'm the facilitator and founder of ADHD Big Brother, Which is a community for adults with ADHD. I've been meditating both consistently and inconsistently for close to 30 years now. The visual that many new to meditating have is that you sit in the lotus position, Crisscross applesauce, Palms up, Resting on the knees, Thumb in the middle finger touching. Maybe you chant, And if we do it right, We're gonna spiritually float away. We're gonna become enlightened. And wouldn't that be cool? And all we have to do is pay attention to our breath. But paying attention is really hard for an ADHD-er. You and I, We both know this. Especially paying attention to something as boring as the breath. We have a million things we want to get done that we feel like we should get done. And the discomfort of sitting idle, That can be the exact opposite of the calming, Beautiful effects that we were hoping to get with a meditation. But I would like to propose a perspective and maybe it helps a little. We'll see. You'll have to let me know. Benefits to practicing the art of meditating, Specifically as an adult with ADHD. And as with anything that we want to improve on, Guiding our attention in a nonjudgmental way is such an asset. It is a masterful skill to learn. The bummer of it all is that it's not an overnight thing. You know how most of us are like, Just tell me what to do and then I'll do it, Or just give me a book to read and I'll read it, And we never do the work. With ADHD, It is so difficult to activate and move forward on these important things, Things that we've decided are important to us. That's just not how our brain works. And meditation is a long game, And ADHDers, We do not do long game, We do right. Right now, But I'd love to share with you a quick story about my own journey with meditation as it relates to me being flipped off on the freeway. I live in the Los Angeles area. Driving on the freeway is less than calming half the time. And in my twenties, When that would happen to me, If I got flipped off on the freeway, I'm not a road rage person. I'm a rejection sensitive person and it would ruin my day. How could someone out there hate me so much to flip me off like that? Oh my gosh, If only they got to know me. Oh, I'm so awful. It's the curse of the people pleaser. That's the beginning of the story. But I also at the same time was beginning my meditation journey in my twenties. It was neat. A lot of the times, Sometimes it was awful, But I trying to get really good at controlling my focus. Always had a better time doing it when I was being guided by somebody, And the purpose behind it varied. I wanted to connect with the bigger me, The higher me, The spirits, God, Whoever. I was seeking, You know, As you do. And this must have happened years later, After practicing meditation for years. But I remember getting flipped off on the freeway. And I know how this sounds. I'm a really good driver, Actually. But this time I found myself Recognizing that I was flipped off. Acknowledging that someone was angry. And then I went right back to thinking about whatever it was I was thinking about. And I became self-aware of that moment. I did not get tethered to that anger. And I gently brought my attention back to what I wanted to be thinking about. That is meditation. And the benefits that we experience, They are often hindsight's down the road. Meditation for me, At its most basic, Fundamental practice, Is paying attention to the feeling of my breath. There are a variety of ways to meditate and you can explore all kinds on Insight Timer. That's the one that I typically do though. It's deciding on an object of focus and keeping our attention there. And then when inevitably the mind wanders, How soon can we catch that? And how gently can we bring our attention back to the object of focus? And that's it. I set a timer for mine. You could try it for just two minutes, Just to practice. You can feel your breath as it flows past your upper lip, That mustache area. You might feel it physically on the inside of your nose. That's what I put my attention to. You might have a slight discomfort in your leg or something. Maybe that's going to be your focus. You might be able to hear a ticking clock. Okay. So maybe that's going to be your focus. You pick a focus and you stick to it. Meditation is not how good are you at winning at attention? We already know that with ADHD, That's a big struggle. So no, It's about putting in the reps on bringing your attention back to the breath. So the more that you apparently fail at getting it right, The better you are. You're actually getting. The analogy here would be the person that practices their piano scales over and over and over again. Even though they're boring and it would be way more fun to play a song, They're going to improve so much faster than the person that practices a scale that one time and then said, I can't do scales, Scales don't work for me. If the game of meditating is simply about practicing attention, You can pretty much do it anywhere, Anytime. Breathing is just an amazing focus because it's one of those things that's always happening. You don't have to try to breathe. That's pretty great. Can you sit quietly and not try to breathe and just passively watch your breathing? Put your attention where you can feel it and then that's it. You could do that sitting in a chair, Walking, Lying down, Doing a handstand. You can do it anywhere. Not submerged in water, That's a caveat. Don't try it unless you have scuba gear on, But you pull all judgment. You're not supposed to be good at this. The thing to get good at is how cool and nonjudgmental can you be with yourself when you catch yourself distracted, Whether it's after 10 seconds or whether it's after you've been way off the rails for 10 minutes. I would love to challenge you to try this for a couple of weeks every day. Set a timer and you know they have it on the Insight Timer app. You can even set chimes for intervals to help remind you to redirect your attention. Back to your breath. Set it for two minutes, Set it for five minutes, Whatever, And follow your breath. And to win at this, It's not about how long you can stay focused. It's about how soon can you recognize that you aren't focused and guide your attention back, Even if it's for a millisecond. And when you're crawling out of your skin and you're so restless because this is so boring. Put your curious attention on that feeling and let that be your focus, Without judgment, Without the need for it to be different. It just is. And what is it? Is it a feeling in your legs, A restlessness? Is it in your chest, A tightness? Where do you physically feel it? And let that feeling be your focus. And that feeling is temporary because it'll all be over in two minutes or five minutes. And then the remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes of your day can be the beautiful, Comfortable chaos that it is. Is. I hope this helps. As always, Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about this. I will always say this, But ADHD is best done as a team sport, And I'm super happy to be on your team. And I'll talk to you soon.