Mélange: Collective Healing, Love, And Connection

In this episode of Mélange, we explore how diversity, love, and connection shape our ability to thrive. Like the French word itself—meaning a blend, a harmonious mixture of diverse elements—humanity flourishes through the fusion of who we are projected into culture, ideas, and relationships. Mélange is a celebration of the beauty in our collective story, and how diversity enriches our world.

Transcript

Mélange, A word of French origin. The French language is just so beautiful and fascinating to me because to me it's a language of love, The way that the words just roll off your tongue, The way a single word can encompass so much. We use many words in the English language to describe how we feel and how we experience life and yet there are so many beautiful languages in the world that can describe the roots of connection, Of love, Of diversity, And humanity in a single beautiful word. And to me, For this episode that I'm bringing you today, This is it. Mélange. Enjoy. Who am I in this context of a greater whole? A greater community. Nature. The universe. And you can even go in. And expand out further, Right? So who am I in my family? Who am I in my community? Who am I? There's all these different lenses you can take with it. But there's this beautiful thing that happens. With a world that is diverse and unique. Where each person sort of has their own level of biological diversity, Neurodiversity. And we have. So you probably, You may or may not have seen like a bell curve before. So being an epidemiologist, This is something we work with quite often. Because in the bell curve you have a number of people who you could consider average. And average not being, You know, Meaning, You know, We're lesser than or anything like that. Just you have more people in the middle of the bell curve who look similar. Who act in a similar way, Who have a similar kind of neurodiversity. I think it's like 68%. Of people who generally have similar traits, Similar ways of expressing, Similar kinds of authenticity, Similar kinds of uniqueness. And then as you go out in the bell curve, You have smaller proportions of the population or communities. Who have more diverse neurodiversity. Where there's more neurological differences. People are just wired differently. And so you may have, You know, 2% of the population. Who's wired in a particular way, Whose brain is wired in a particular way, Whose body functions in a particular way, Whose energy field functions in a particular way. An example would be like people who are empathic, Who are deep feelers. So you can think of it as within a population, There are certain people who may have more of a shared frequency, A shared wiring of the brain in a similar way. And it's beautiful because this is what allows us to survive as a population, To survive as a humanity, And to survive within nature, Our greater ecosystem. If we didn't have diversity in our population. We wouldn't survive as a species. Right? Because we'd all be the same. We'd all have the same ideas. You know, There wouldn't be a lot of problem solving going on for some of the problems that we have. And these days with social media, It's very easy to get stuck in like an echo chamber, Only thinking the way, You know, You've thought for the last 10 years. It can be really easy to just continue thinking about problems in the same way instead of going out and seeing like how are other people thinking about this. Yeah, Sandy says screen culture can create robots. And our humanity is so beautiful. Why would we want to be the same in this way? We want to have that sharedness. And there's beauty in that, Too, And I'm going to talk a little bit about that. Because we actually tend to be more drawn to sameness or what we view as compatible. Because there is a deeper sense of chemistry here between people. So like attracting like. Opposites can also attract. And when we talk about like attracting like. It's this idea of a beautiful mind loves a beautiful mind. This feeling of you are easy for me to love because I see you fully and completely and you see me fully and completely. Because at the end of the day, That is so important to us. We want to be seen. We want to have this shared experience. And at the same time, We want this freedom in our experience. We want this freedom to be able to express ourselves, To experience life in unique ways, Without someone telling us how we have to experience life. You and I could be experiencing this moment differently, And then those of us who maybe have a more shared frequency, Who see the world in similar ways, Could be having a very similar experience. But allowing one another in this space to have this freedom of experience like a bird. Flying together. Flying like birds fly. They don't fly on top of one another. They fly with this sense of freedom. But, As you know the saying, Birds of a feather tend to flock together. And so this sameness or chemistry or. Compatibility with people seems to evoke a harmony. And you see this in nature, Like I just mentioned, Birds. But there is this sense of unity in feeling seen. And differences can also create a chemistry or a different kind of compatibility where there's a mystery in how this other person sees the world. And that can feel intriguing and exciting and that can create connection too. So opposites attracting. Different species of nature. Connecting with one another. And sometimes I think that when you are deeply connected with someone who's different than you. You actually learn greater lessons and sometimes faster. Because you're able to see how they see the world or invite an openness around that. And they're able to see how you see the world. And if we didn't have that diversity, We wouldn't thrive. And so that's how we thrive as communities, As populations. And so the more someone matches our neurodiversity or energy or unique frequency, Sometimes the deeper in love we can fall with this particular person. But as I've also mentioned, We can fall in love with the mysteries of our unique differences as well. So who am I? Just sit and ask yourself this question, Who am I? And who am I in relation to my community? Who am I within a community? Who am I within the world? Who am I within this greater population? How does my compatibility with other people who I interact with… How does that make me feel? A lot of people are interested in this concept of soulmate. Having a soulmate, Having a soul family. And then there's these concepts of attachment, Non-attachment. And it can be hard. Because we do get attached to people. And it's almost like there's this balance, Right? Practice non-attachment so that we're not so attached that we become codependent. But then it's also okay to need and to love people and to connect with them, Right? You kind of have to attach a little bit in order to connect. If we weren't attaching. We wouldn't connect deeply with people on a soul, Emotional, Or energetic level. And mental level. And certainly not physical. There has to be some attachment there if we're gonna have physical intimacy. But we all just, We all have different communication styles, And then some of us have very similar communication styles. Different emotional experiences, Different emotional and energetic expression. And when it comes to intimacy. The more we feel that the experience is shared and that there's this deeper understanding of one another in an experience, The easier it is for intimacy. Which is why, You know, In relationships we have a lot of compatibility tests and different things, Right? It doesn't mean that a relationship with someone who's different than you can't work. It just means that it's going to be easier. With someone who is more of like an energetic match. Because of understanding. But understanding needs to start with us individually. And leaning into that authenticity. Leaning into that creativity. And then with others in the world, Just appreciating the novel problem solving and novel creative solutions that different people bring to the table. And honoring our ability to thrive as a humanity because someone can bring that unique idea or way of looking at the world. And allowing us to find a sense of belonging within communities that may look and feel different. But then allowing us to have those experiences with people. Who give us that sense of belonging naturally. We can become very afraid when we experience the deep intimacy with another soul. Because maybe we're finally seen. And that's scary. As much as we deeply desire to be seen, We feel naked when we are. And especially if we have other wounding, Attachment issues, Fears of abandonment, Fears of control, Fears of rejection. These can all get in the way of experiencing one another authentically. Whether that's we attach to this person in a certain way and it starts to become really codependent. Or this person really sees me and I need to get away from them now. Or just not understanding what this means, Deep connection. Because nowadays when we experience deep connection, It's. It elicits a lot of fear. It elicits this reaction that I don't think that they had in ancient communities. I think it was normal to feel deeply. I think it was normal to connect with people in a very soulful way. That now feels awkward or wrong. And there can be boundaries, Give and take. But I find what happens more often than not is we go in a certain way, Maybe that's with very porous boundaries, And then all of a sudden we implement super rigid boundaries because we were like, That felt like not right to me, Or awkward to me or gross to me or weird to me. And I don't know how to feel about it. And then we can end up losing people that we deeply care about. And like I said, One in a million. One in a lifetime. There is only one of you. And so take the opportunity to connect with people. As you, As your authentic self. Discover who you are in every single moment and let it be a discovery. Ask yourself the deep questions without needing the answer. Ask yourself, Why do I show up in this particular way? Is this me? Or am I trying to fit in? And there's certain situations where that is what we need to do in order to survive. Because there's a surviving and a thriving going on. We don't give up our animal instincts. We don't stop communicating in a certain way in certain scenarios. We become more mindful and assertive and confident in how we communicate. But certain situations call for certain communication styles. And that's not going away. Can we be more accepting of who we are and who we need to show up as in certain situations? And then also understanding that we are looking through different lenses. Like the chakras, For example, Are different lenses and different ways that we see the worlds. We are looking through different lenses of consciousness, Like an onion. There's layers and levels of consciousness. How deep are you speaking from? How deep are you showing up in the world? And you know, It might not be safe to do that in every situation. But there are certain situations where. . . As Sandy is saying, Taking off our masks. It's okay to take off the mask. It's okay to show up as you. It's okay to be in that relationship and to be seen. And to let yourself have that. And. Through our consciousness we have understanding in the mind and we have experience in the body, Energy, Truth through the heart. I recently did a podcast episode on matters of the heart, Which I encourage you to take a listen to. You'll learn a lot about yourself through a deeper understanding of the truths of your own heart. And then we experience different types of pain and suffering. And different people in the world have different types of suffering. And oftentimes the people we connect most deeply with. Is the people who have similar types of suffering because It helps us to know that I am not the only one experiencing this. Some of us suffer from. Ignorance. I mean, We all suffer from ignorance to a certain extent. But some of us suffer from it more. Where we get around that corner and we realize, Wow, That all happened because I was completely ignorant to the situation. Or to this way of life. And it's harder for me to change for whatever reason. Than others of us suffer from sometimes knowing too much. Feeling too much. Feeling too deeply. And it's not that it's wrong to feel too deeply. Or to have knowledge. It's beautiful, But there is that saying, You know, Ignorance is bliss. And so sometimes having greater knowledge of yourself, Even sometimes, Or, You know, Others, Having that deep, Deep intuition. Sometimes that can be a source of suffering. So just recognizing that. We all have similar levels and experience similar levels of consciousness. Some of us have explored beyond that. And we all have similar and yet different types of suffering. And just. . . Acknowledging that. Again, It's not necessarily like who we are. But it's what we experience as human beings as part of our humanity. It's part of our soul journey. Is part of what goes on in our mind. And can we give each other that freedom of experience while also holding out a hand to one another every once in a while and saying, You know, I see you. I'm here for you. You are safe. To be who you are. You are beautiful. I'm grateful that there's someone like you. On this earth with me.