Unpacking Jealousy – What It Is And A Spiritual Approach To Healing It

In this - Episode number 12 in the You-Ni-Verse podcast, we look at jealousy. We look at the underlying emotions and then talk about an approach to flipping the switch on jealousy so that you are able to celebrate the blessings and the successes of friends and colleagues. This then helps plant and nurture the seeds in you to help manifest the things that you want to happen for yourself. I end this episode with a mantra style song, Om Namah Shivaya, from the Shaivism spiritual lineage from India.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

This is Akasha Love.

I am a soul alchemist helping you to birth your true self in this lifetime.

Guided by my own soul and following my heart's wisdom,

I bring to you meditations,

Downloads,

Talks and music designed to support you on the journey deep into connecting with your soul and living a life which is fully grounded in and aligned with expressing your truth as authentically as possible.

So hello and welcome to this,

The 12th episode of the Universe podcast,

Which means that I've been making this for three months.

So today is the 1st of September.

It was a full moon last night and I couldn't sleep as usual on the full moon.

So this means I've been doing this podcast for three months,

June,

July and August.

So very exciting,

Our three month anniversary.

So today I wanted to speak to you about jealousy.

I've been thinking about jealousy in the last week or so and just is an interesting human emotion and an interesting phenomenon and I thought it would be really worthwhile to dedicate an episode of this Universe podcast to jealousy.

So essentially,

What is jealousy?

It's a,

If we think about it physiologically,

What happens when you're jealous?

I think it's definitely a contraction in energy.

So it's based around a low grade emotion of a little bit of fear because usually if you're jealous of someone,

You want something that they have or that they've done,

But you're afraid that you can't actually get this something or have this something for yourself.

So there's some fear there.

There may also be some anger present.

So some level of anger at the fact that this person has this thing or this experience or this attribute or quality that you want yourself.

You're a little bit angry that they have it and you don't.

So physiological,

Emotionally,

Again,

I think we're looking at just a very painful experience of kind of isolation because then you're sort of contracting into yourself.

You're in this fear energy and this pain energy of just feeling,

I guess,

When you get down to it,

It's the feeling of not good enough and the feeling of shame,

Perhaps that you don't have this thing that you really want.

And then there's perhaps behind that,

This fear that maybe you will never have it.

So I think it's always a good process to really unpack emotions like that,

To kind of really look at the,

All of the different aspects to a feeling in order to be able to really understand it for yourself as well as possible.

So just like I said in previous episodes,

All of the offerings that I give here in this podcast,

They're all based on my own experience.

So I'm literally just sharing my experience with you and some of it may be true and resonate with you.

Other things that I say may not always test whatever I say for yourself.

Don't take anything as truth just because I say it.

So I'm also a little bit sick today.

So that's why my voice is a little bit sultry,

Let's say.

So the main points about jealousy,

Somebody has something that you want but you don't have.

So this can be a material,

Spiritual,

Emotional or physical thing.

Someone has achieved something that you want to achieve.

So something in your career that you are really desirous of achieving,

Somebody has achieved that for example or it may be personal,

Something in your personal life.

So somebody perhaps has got married or had a child and you also want this but you haven't yet manifested this for yourself.

Someone also may have some physical attributes.

So they may be very beautiful,

Very strong or very powerful or very whatever it is that you admire and you may not have this same level of physical attribute or you may be working towards it.

They may also have emotional or mental or intellectual qualities or attributes that make them stand out from the crowd which makes you feel jealous and kicks in your unworthiness or lesser-than buttons.

So and then there's also the kind of jealousy where you are jealous of somebody else's connection or relationship.

So if you are in a romantic relationship and your partner is attracted or has a friendship with somebody else you may be experiencing strong jealousy which again is if we look at what's going on behind this example it's the fear of losing your partner to this other person.

So we look at what else is involved in this experience of jealousy and we can see that it's really all self focused and it's focused on what you lack.

So if you look at it,

If we look at it this way we can see how painful that is.

So it's about me and my whatever the my is,

My body,

My looks,

My bank account,

My career,

My family,

My achievements,

My wardrobe,

My car,

My house,

Whatever.

It's about me and mine and it's about what you you lack,

What you don't quite have yet.

So it's quite big suffering if we are occupying this space of focusing on what the self is lacking.

It's it's really painful,

It's a painful emotion.

So the way I manage jealousy in my life that's been really helpful for me is really to flick the switch on your jealousy and on on the mind state of the lack and the separation and the self and change it to really celebrating the achievements of others.

And the way that I do this and I think the most sensible and the easiest way is really to go deep into the understanding that we are not really separate selves.

So there is one conscious life force which you might call whatever you want to call it,

Might be prana,

Might be chi,

Might be energy,

Might be God,

Might be spirit,

Whatever works for you and we are all literally just parts of this same life force.

We're all born of this same life force,

We will all die as all pieces of this life force will cease to exist and it will continue to reproduce in different forms as in different people forever perhaps.

So this is unity consciousness which is a very commonly understood way in many spiritual traditions for understanding life,

The mystery of life and it's particularly it's present in the the spiritual tradition of non-duality.

So Shaivism from India is very much about this oneness consciousness,

The unity consciousness,

The idea that we are all connected,

That we are all the same in some basic way and we are all part of a whole.

So this is also very a holistic way of thinking.

So if you are able to maintain this consciousness within yourself instead of separation you start to feel oneness,

You start to feel more connected with others and less isolated,

Less fear-based and less afraid.

So if we look at how we can apply this oneness or unity consciousness to the experience of jealousy we really just see if we are able to see the achievements of other people as our achievements literally as if we have just got that thing that that the other person has got or achieved or experienced.

So this also involves you putting yourself in that other person's shoes for a while and really seeing if you can feel the emotions and the sensations of what they must be feeling in that moment when they've achieved that thing or experienced that promotion or got the new relationship or had a baby or whatever it is that you would like for yourself really see if you're able to feel it for them imagine you are them and feel what it must be like and in this way you are really doing a couple of things so instead of the separation that you feel when jealousy kicks in you feel connected with the other person you feel love instead of fear and you feel uplifted by their achievements it can really start to feel like it's actually you also that has achieved this or got this thing whatever it is and the second thing you are actually planting seeds of this feeling so seeds of achieving something you want to see achieve seeds of experiencing something you want to experience seeds of learning or mastering a new skill you want to learn seeds of a beautiful love relationship if that's what you desire you're planning these seeds in your unconscious mind which then more likely to grow for yourself so it's literally like you these seeds have an imprint and that imprint is being consciously nurtured and developed every time that you celebrate the achievements of someone else every time that you feel joy and happiness for them you're literally growing this feeling of joy and happiness in achieving exactly that thing that you may want to achieve for yourself you're growing this feeling in this experience within you which means that it's more likely to then manifest in your own life and come to pass for you so I wanted just to add on to this idea also the idea of using this same concept with money so money can be seen as either every time that you spend you have less for yourself or if you're coming from the unity consciousness from the space of oneness you can be thinking every time you spend money you're giving something more to all of us and that all of us includes also yourself so it can be literally like a blessing so every time you spend money on something you are blessing that person whom you're buying the service or product from and you're also blessing yourself because you and this person are connected we're all connected we're all from the same source we all have the same life energy in our bones so I find this also to be really powerful practice for building an abundance mindset for yourself moving away from the lack mindset and building a really strong abundance mindset so try it out see if it works for you so I wanted to finish today with a mantra style song which came to me last week based on the Om Na Ma Si Va Ya mantra so I think this is quite relevant to this topic of oneness connection and moving from jealousy into love and celebration for others so just reading from Wikipedia says here Om Na Ma Si Va Ya is one of the most popular Hindu mantras and the most important mantra in Shaivism Na Ma Si Va Ya means O salutations to the auspicious one or adoration to Lord Shiva or universal consciousness is one so this is very much our oneness our unity consciousness if you want it and you need it and welcome to you at the right time if you feel it and you feed it it will light you up from the inside but don't go wait till the rain shine through you you'll find that they will stay traveling traveling through this life sometimes you will get into strife letting go letting go letting go the need to be right will help you return to the light.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya Bala.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya Bala.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya Bala.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya.

If you want it and you need it it will come to you at the right time you feel it and you feed it it will light you up from the inside but don't go chasing rainbows cos that is not the way wait till the rainbow comes to you and then you find that it will stay don't go chasing rainbows cos that is not the way wait till the rainbow shines through you and then you'll find that it will stay.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya Bala.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya Bala.

Om Na Ma Si Va Ya.

So as always if this has been helpful to you or inspiring for you if you could share it with any friends family or colleagues who you think may benefit I would be massively appreciative.

So keep following the wisdom of your heart the whisperings of your soul because these will always lead you in the right direction.

Reviews

Thank you, that was excellent! It helped me to break down my feelings and gave me a tool to employ the next time I’m feeling this way.