Hello,
My friends,
And welcome to this meditation on self-compassion.
This is inspired by Dr.
Kristen Neff,
And the practice is called Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
It's perfect if you've been really hard on yourself lately or life has just been a little bit difficult.
You can begin by finding a nice comfortable position,
Feeling settled while also upright,
Letting your eyes close.
You can start by taking a few relaxing deep breaths here,
Seeing if you can get even just 1% more comfortable.
We'll start by taking a deep breath in.
As you exhale,
Feel the body soften into the support beneath you.
Again,
Breathing in through the nose.
You can let out an open mouth exhale,
Again,
Feeling the body soften into the support beneath you,
The chair,
The floor,
The cushion.
And as you continue to breathe here,
You might place your hand on your heart,
On your belly,
Or any other area of the body that's needing a little bit of kindness.
Placing your hands on the body just to remind yourself that you're here now,
Bringing a sense of care towards yourself.
And as you feel the breath,
The life force moving through the body,
Begin to recall a mild,
Difficult situation that you are experiencing right now.
This could be a relationship issue,
Stress in work.
This could be a loved one experiencing pain or difficulty.
But as you scan your life,
Do not choose a extremely difficult problem or one that's too overwhelming.
Just choose a problem that can generate a little bit of stress in your body when you think about it.
Noticing what comes to mind right away,
Or maybe it takes a few moments to clearly visualize the situation.
And as you recall a part of your life right now that's mild or moderately difficult,
Start to bring it into greater detail.
You can ask yourself who was there or who was involved.
Was something said?
What happened?
And as you bring this situation to mind and to heart,
See if you can begin to name the emotions that are present.
You might even be able to name the strongest emotion,
A difficult emotion associated with this situation.
Is there sadness,
Rage,
Or anger?
Or maybe there's some confusion or uncertainty,
Longing,
Grief,
Anxiety,
Fear.
Maybe there's a few emotions that coexist at the same time.
You can begin to repeat the name of the emotion to yourself in a gentle,
Understanding voice,
As if you are speaking to a friend and validating for that friend what he or she is feeling.
Name the feeling.
Telling yourself,
Yes,
This is anxiety,
Or there's a lot of grief here.
This is anger.
That's confusion or uncertainty.
And see if you can expand your awareness to your body as a whole now.
And as you recall this mildly difficult situation again,
Scan through your body and see where you feel the effects of this situation the most.
Scanning your body from head to toe,
Noticing where you can sense a little tension or discomfort.
Maybe the shoulders,
The jaw.
Maybe there's a sense of constriction in the stomach.
Notice the location in your body where the feeling expresses itself the most.
So if you noticed a lot of anger,
Where is that anger?
Does it feel like a heat in the body?
If it was anxiety,
Where do you feel the anxiety the most?
Maybe it feels like a constriction in the heart space or the stomach.
Or maybe there's a point of muscle tension or an achy feeling like a heartache,
Tenderness in the heart space.
With your awareness,
See if you can incline gently towards that area in your body.
Soften into that location in your body.
Maybe taking a breath into that area.
Let the muscles begin to soften.
Like applying your hand to that space or applying heat to sore muscles.
Letting that location become soft.
Not requiring it to be soft.
You can say soften,
Soften,
Soften.
We're not trying to make the sensation go away.
We're being with it with kindness,
With loving awareness.
Letting yourself soften around the edges.
Going slowly here and reminding ourselves that we don't have to fix everything right now.
And find a way to soothe yourself for struggling in this way.
This could be another gesture,
Hand over your heart,
Or even holding your own hand.
Maybe you offer some words of reassurance to yourself.
It's going to be okay.
I'm doing my best.
Just breathe.
This is tough right now,
But I've got this.
If you wish,
You can also direct kindness to the location in your body that is under the most tension or stress.
Sending those kind words to that place,
Sending breath to that place.
And you can say in your mind,
Soothe,
Soothe,
Soothe.
We'll take another deep breath in through the nose.
Big exhale out,
Letting it go.
Allowing the discomfort to be here.
Letting go of our desire or wish for the feeling to disappear or go away.
Let the discomfort and the tension come and let it go,
Just like a guest in your own home.
You can repeat in your mind,
Allow,
Allow,
Allow.
Using these words like a mantra,
Reminding us to incline with gentle tenderness towards our difficulties,
Towards our suffering.
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
And if this becomes too uncomfortable to be with the emotion,
To be with the sensations,
Come back to the breath.
Maybe open the eyes.
Stay there until you feel better.
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
Soften,
Soothe,
Allow.
And just noticing how the body feels now after completing this practice.
Maybe some parts of the body are feeling more at ease.
Maybe some things have settled or integrated.
They feel a little bit less active.
Maybe there seems to be more of a sense of space.
Whatever it is,
This awareness can help us to move forward with more kindness towards ourselves,
So we can better take care of ourselves.
As you're ready,
You can start to open up your eyes.
Bring movement back into the body.
Maybe look around your space.
Look outside if you're inside.
Letting light back into the eyes.
Taking your time to move back into your daily experience.
Moving with more awareness and more compassion.
Thank you so much for practicing.
I'm wishing you a wonderful day ahead.
