I Saw You - An Ode To Moms Everywhere

My mom and I had a complicated relationship. When she passed away, I received so much healing and comfort in nature. One day, this poem came to me through a chance encounter with two young moms on one of our favorite trails.

Transcript

An Ode to Tired Moms Everywhere It felt like Mother Nature breathed your life into my ear as our souls brushed against each Other on the trail the other day. I think she delivered the message through a gust of wind, Or maybe she was just taking a deep breath. I recall things slow down to a crawl, The leaves suddenly rustling loudly under my feet. Everything seemed magnified. You and your friend were out for a hike with your wee ones, Each one sweetly packed into the Bunting of your backpacks. The small papooses were taking in the grandeur of the trees surrounding Them, Their tiny eyes wide and inquisitive. You and your friend were looking at your phone. Maybe you were looking at old photos, But I suspect you were positioning for a selfie. I don't think you even noticed us. But for a brief moment, I felt all of your frustration, Your fears, Your insecurities. I felt the weight of your motherhood in the pit of my stomach. I felt the pressures, The expectations, The worry, The judgment, And the self-doubt. I felt the burden of that little papoose you symbolically carry on your back. I saw the life of comparison your parenting skills would face. I felt the torment you would feel About the decision society would force you to make, Follow your dreams, Or be the mom you're Expected to be. The world doesn't allow you to do both. I felt the weight you would carry to make Everything perfect. The perfect dinner, The perfect house, The perfect garden, The perfect Vacation, And the perfect life. The perfect body and the perfect wife. I felt the anger you would Have when you returned to work, Only to find things were very different. Your job was different, Your work was different, And your friends were different. I felt the overwhelming disappointment, But I also felt your rage. I felt every single time you chose your family over yourself. I felt every invitation you would have to decline, And every joy you would have to bypass, So that your family could be perceived as happy. I felt the resentment you would have, That all of that fell on your shoulders, And yours alone. I felt the lack of time you would have to Yourself. The variety of tones in which you would hear the word mom. There would be times when it Would be a nuisance, But there would be times when it would be a blessing. Still other times, It would be a saving grace. I envisioned you moving the other things in your life to the foreground, And your hopes and dreams drifting to the back. I felt you shrinking and disappearing. I felt your deep, Deep sorrow. I felt the stigma you would feel around asking for help. You would feel better remaining silent than to appear weak. I felt all the ways you would try To numb the longing you felt inside. The longing to get back to yourself. The long journey back To your core. The person you were before. I felt your fierce determination to reclaim your identity. I felt your river of tears over lost time, Lost years, And lost hope. I felt your fear That you hadn't done your best for others, But most importantly for yourself. All of that I felt. And it may have been over a number of years, A number of months, A number of days, Or even a number of moments. I can't be sure. But what I do know for sure Is that I saw you. I felt you deeply. And I just wanted you to know that I finally understood. And that I miss you mom. I wish you could have told me.

Reviews

In tears again after listening to this for the 3rd time🥹Thank you 🙏🏼💜💞

Powerful ending to a strong story of reflection. Listening to this before Mother's Day was a reminder to ponder the walk of those who have played that role in my life, relatives or not.

Wow!! Chills. Powerful. And the end. Ohh wow. This was so good. Thank you Shauna. 🥰🫂🙏🫶💌

Wow. This beautiful track just ran me through every emotion! I thought it was very sweet until the doubt, anger, unfairness, regret, resentment, sadness, despair, and then heartache all bubbled up. It was a lot. And yet as powerful as it was, and as much as I wished so many things had been different, I know I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. That was a journal prompt if I ever heard one! 😉 Again, just wow. Thank you for sharing this. 🥰

Wow. That was very powerful. Thank you. My mother was one of the lucky ones because she basically did what she wanted and went to work doing what she loved instead of staying home with us in the 1970s and 80s except there is always some drawback. She wasn’t there much for us as a mother, and she put her art on hold for many years …But for the past 30, she’s been doing her needlepoint full-time because I told her when she was working that she should always do art, but she waited until she was no longer working full-time. Now at 86 she’s still doing it!🙏.