by Sasha Nova
In this video, we dive into three key principles that can transform your relationship, share powerful statistics, and guide you into deeper harmony with your beloved, as well as all your relationships. This session is led by a power couple in a sacred union for seven years and married for almost four.
Meet your Teacher
Victoria, BC, Canada
Transcript
Are you ready to end all drama and conflict in your relationships? It starts with you. Today we're going to present three key principles on how to stop leaking energy in your relationships and finally have a relationship that is thriving and peaceful. My name is Jonathan McCall. My name is Sasha Noble. We're embodiment intimacy guides who work with high achieving men and women in a relationship who want to stop leaking energy and really thrive in their relationship. The very first key principle is commitment to peace. Understand this always begins with oneself this is actually a commitment to one's own inner peace and to really self-regulate one's nervous system. So that when common conflict and drama come into the relationship, You're able to self-regulate in a way that allows you to respond instead of react. And it's also a commitment to connection with yourself. First, So that you can stay in connection with your beloved. Or with anybody you engaging with. Yeah. There was actually a study by the Dr. Gottman Institute. This is where this is long-term marriage research. Basically show a magic ratio where couples who thrive practice basically five positive responses to every one negative. So basically, Those couples who are able to self-regulate and be able to respond as opposed to react, Were able to really thrive in the relationship. And this actually was linked to another study where using the same ratio was observed where they were actually able to predict up to 94% rate of divorce based on those who really were more about connecting and offering positive responses as opposed to negative responses, Right? Where people feel attacked or they're defending. Basically result of an unregulated nervous system. Which is quite significant if you think about it, 94%. Of divorce rates could be predicted based on this one ratio. That's pretty huge and we really would like to invite you to ask yourself like are you really committed to peace and connection. And this is a really deep question because the truth is so many people are addicted to drama and conflict. It's almost like the same neural pathways that people are firing off when people are craving certain addictions and that. It can happen the same way when it comes to drama. If people are not engaged in drama, All of a sudden those pathways, Those neurotransmitters are firing off going like, Hey, Give us our fix. And they're perpetuating the drama. And oftentimes they are not aware that this is what's happening, Right? It's like any addiction, It can take a long time for the person to actually admit to the fact that they enjoy the drama and that their chemistry is actually creating and recreating the same experiences in their life just so that they can have that hit. Which is crazy when you think about it, But ultimately it's just like people get stuck in these patterns, Right? And especially if it's like. . . Multi-generational trauma patterns you know where you you witness your family your parents your grandparents you know going through the same patterns of conflict and drama so it's really difficult to sometimes break that so to bring it back it really takes a strong commitment to one's own inner peace and wellness and to really before meeting your partner. And there are many different ways to achieve that peace, That internal peace. Know whether you're choosing meditation whether you're choosing any kind of sport to allow you to like find that flow state where you know you're connecting with the natural energies that are available to all human beings, Or whether it's doing healing work so that you're actually addressing the issues and the tissues that so many of us have. I'm really just spending time in nature. As we know, It's like just by being in nature, Especially like rounding your feet, You're able to discharge so much of the positive items that we pick up from being like electronics or in fields of other people who are carrying a lot of tension or a lot of unprocessed emotions and that. And just by being in nature, You naturally become entrained into the frequency of harmony and balance and that, Which can really be a beautiful way to help to release some of that before coming back come together with your partner. Yeah, So to summarize, In order to end conflict in all of your relationships, You need to be committed to peace and connection. First with yourself and then with other people. Without that commitment, It's not going to be possible because you are going to be stuck in proving who is right, Who is wrong, And really, You know, Defending your ego's position. Yeah. Principle number two is called consistent intentional practice. Which is basically another way to describe rituals. Yeah, So rituals for connection. This has been such a huge part of our journey. You know, If we didn't have a consistent, Certain rituals in place that we were committed to every week, We likely would not still be together. And this is just the truth in that, Right? Because without that structure and those practices that, You know, Like create that safe space where we could return to each week at the minimum and really be able to feel safe to express ourselves and know that we're going to be heard and seen and understood in that expression. You know, A lot of resentment and tensions build up. Yeah and we were introduced to a very specific practice that we now teach to couples And it was, It's a very simple practice and it was given to me when I was doing a nine months initiation. Into how to have integrity with yourself and in relationships with an amazing mentor of mine his name is ernest morrow and literally it was this practice that we then took and implemented for the rest of our relationship it's now been probably five years, Five plus years that we've been actually doing this practice consistently. And this year, We began teaching it to other couples so that they could experience the peace and the connection and the intimacy and the bliss that we get to have in our marriage. Totally. And what's beautiful about these practices, These rituals, We're able to share these in practice with our friends and family. And it's really actually allowed us to end all our conflict and drama with our immediate family and close relationships that we might have had some ups and downs. Conflicts along the way yeah because all people really want at the end of the day is to be seen heard and understood and if you can create an environment where you know there's this constant movement of energy between partners and they feel safe to express and they feel seen from both ends, Then intimacy naturally happens and safety gets created. And from there, The sky's the limit. And yeah, That really is a beautiful gift that can arise as a result of this consistent practice. Yeah, These rituals for connection. There's actually another study done by the Gottman Institute in 2015 that demonstrated that shared rituals strengthen bonds and commitment. In practices appreciation you know just coming together and just expressing gratitude and appreciation for each other as well as undistracted time together like really where you're putting the phones aside turning off all the distractions and you're just just giving each other that space to feel seen and heard you know, Which is basically what we were talking about for check-in practice. Even if that means throughout the day, You know, Say if you're working from home, Just coming up to each other and like experiencing a beautiful deep hug. For, You know, A minute or two. Like that. I love doing that. It really improves your whole day and it gives your partner that undistracted time, Even if it is only a minute. I love that. Yeah, Even just a consistent hug, You know, It'd be like before your partner goes to work or, You know, When they wake up in the morning or something along those lines. Or when they come back from home. Or like being consistent, Providing compliments, Being generous in your expression. And like this is this is huge and it's actually another study of 499 couples who engaged in these kind of shared rituals showed higher relationship quality and fear conflicts and yeah this was a from the journal of family social work in 2025 so fairly recent Yeah, So our question to you is, Do you have a consistent intentional practice that you can come back to over and over and over again, Knowing that that space has been dedicated? It's a safe space where you can truly be yourself and you can let your partner be themselves too. It goes both ways. Or is that something that's lacking currently in your relationships? And if that's the case, How is that impacting your relationship, Your ability to truly connect and feel seen and heard by the other and really connect intimately as well? So number three is it's all about mentorship and community. This has been, I mean, Sasha already spoke to this, You know, In our relationship, We've had mentors along the way. And really from the beginning, We had brotherhood. I had brotherhood and Sasha had sisterhood. And I actually got into men's work because of my relationship with Sasha. You know, I realized when we were coming together that in order for me to really show up for her as a mature, Responsible man, I needed to surround myself with other men, Empowered men who would really call me forward and help call me forward in my blind spots and really just gave me a space to be able to share and express so I didn't have to offload that on Sasha. Because we do spend a lot of time together. We have since we really came together. And without having those circles or those other individuals to share with, It can put a lot of strain on the relationship. Yeah yeah we learned that uh right from the beginning because we were both on this pretty intense healing journey in costa rica where we were constantly at the time right when we started we were in costa rica and we were constantly looking at all the different limiting beliefs and programs that were not really serving us, That came from our culture, Came from our family line, Ancestry line. And even the collective the human collective and so Yeah, We really needed that communal support and mentors that could actually reprogram some of those unhelpful ways and how we were even seeing relationships and navigating the whole arena of intimacy and connection. So we really, Really believe in that. And this actually circles back to our first point in terms of being really committed to your own personal inner peace and your growth. You know, Like those who are in mentorships and that, There's a strong commitment there to their growth, Right? Because they invest. They invest something in order to, You know, Go on the journey of transformation within the mentorship. Yeah. There's actually a 2022 study from the Journal of Applied Communication Research mentor or that committed to a mentorship, It actually strengthens their relationship because it models resilience. Basically, It teaches them how to stay in the fire of transformation, Really, Because if you're working with a mentor, You're there to grow and evolve, Which is uncomfortable. Just like a relationship will offer you the greatest reflection for that inner work as well. It's uncomfortable in the beginning, And it can be quite uncomfortable if you're really facing something really challenging. And you also learn to love the expansion and the freedom that comes from facing that discomfort originally. Yeah, It's. . . This is why we are here really celebrating our relationship and really encouraging other men and women to come together in a relationship because it really does offer you the greatest opportunity to heal and grow and awaken more into who you really are. Why we're here. And especially if it's a relationship that you really committed into, Right? Like you chose, Like, Yes. I am choosing you. I am choosing you. It's going to really press all the buttons within you that are still holding fear and all kinds of interesting limiting beliefs that, You know, When you get to look at it and you choose to look at it, Oh, Like the levels of pleasure and abundance and just love for life that open up as a result is. But nothing else. Absolutely. Like so much happiness. There's actually another study that's been going on for over 80 years at Harvard. Harvard's study of adult development shows that quality social connections basically equal strong, Like it's the strongest predictor of health and happiness and longevity. Predictor? Predictor. Thank you. Yeah, Strongest predictor of longevity and happiness. So this is no. . . We know this inherently, But too often I see, Especially the men, Isolating themselves. You know, They're really actually, They're just lone wolfing it. They're not engaged with, They don't really actually have any close friends. I mean, Gosh, If you actually look at the statistics on this, Of how many men in North America actually have, Like, Close friends, It's very low. It's really sad. It is very sad. So, Like, You know, We are such. . . Be advocates for brotherhood and sisterhood. Yeah, So the question to you is, Do you have a circle, Like an inner circle or a community? And mentors or elders that you can look up to, Can ask advice, You can lean on, Lean into, Lean on to, When, You know, Hits the fan and you are going through the clearing process, Healing process, Transformation, And yeah, You can really use that community for support. Do you have that? Yes, And if you don't, Well, Start with your closest friends, Close networks, And be that empowered leader, You know, Create your own circle, Or even just have an agreement to a friend where you can engage with and talk to and just share and just practice, Especially for men, Practicing vulnerability with empowerment, You know, Vulnerability with strength. Learning using these trusted relationships to start better accessing your emotions so you can better reveal them and therefore heal them. Yeah, So just to summarize, Today we shared three principles. In order to have relationships that are peaceful, Joyous, And end all drama and conflict. Yeah, So the first one was commitment to peace and connection. And remembering that it begins with yourself. The second principle is consistent intentional practice. That allows you the space to connect, To express, To be in that safe environment with each other giving undivided attention and care to each other. Through Rituals for Connection. And the third one was all the mentorship and community. You know, Like having those individuals in your life that are going to call you forward and help you continue to grow and expand into men and women that you chose to be, You know, Come into this world to really embody. Yeah so that is all for the the teaching component if what you heard resonated we would love for you to share this with friends and family who you think would benefit from this all right well thank you for tuning in And look forward to seeing you next time. Until then, Stay empowered and much love. Much love.
