The Magical Weave Of True Evolution

Our brain functions differently when we are in an ego state. In the East, sages say when we follow virtues such as love or gratitude, the frontal lobe is activated—and all other brain regions begin to harmonize, allowing our true self to emerge.

When we grow up in an environment where the soul is not welcomed, our ego is built on anger toward our true nature. Beneath the anger lies fear, and beneath that fear is a deep grief of being separated from our soul. Feeling these emotions—the anger, the fear, and the grief—is the key to reconnecting with our soul, which is our true nature.

We cannot fix the ego or ourselves, but we can try to find our true nature. Trying to fix turns into fighting, and that will always backfire:

What we fight gets bigger.

Instead, we can follow the magical weave of true evolution by listening to and following our hearts and intuition. This path leads us—gently, lovingly, and consistently—toward our true self, toward freedom, happiness, and Love.

Transcript

So, We're praying for grace, The Creator's grace, Amma's grace, The love within everything that is available to open hearts, Our hearts open more and more to receive this grace, To receive the love in everything. Thank you, Amma. Thank you, Creator. So it is. Yeah, So today's question and answer, I just have a couple of things to say. You know, The scientists have found that the way our brains light up, They can tell whether we're coming from ego or whether we're coming from our true nature. So, The regular coming from the ego is called the default mode circuit. So, I think we all know what it's like when you're in an ego circuit. You know it. It's like a loop. Right. So, It's like a loop in our brains. Now, With the awakening, You could also say with the process of meditation, It activates more the frontal lobe, The prefrontal lobe. Remember I talked to you about that's the latest development of the human brain, And it's involved in abstraction, Being able to know what justice is, What liberty is, What the Creator is. And when we lead with an abstract, So, You know, The sages, Eastern sages would say, Just focus on one virtue, And you can attain enlightenment over time, Where you give your whole life to the Creator. This is where you go to the abstract, And all four parts of your brain will unite behind that goal. So, That will include your reptilian brain, The earliest brain, And the two mammalian brains. Everybody will be going towards in service of the abstract. That is the most powerful way to live. So, It's really real, You guys, And as you develop, This default mode circuit gets kind of erased. You don't use it so much. You use the prefrontal lobe a lot, And the attention circuit. It's like paying attention. It's the one that lights up through meditation. But you can live in that. So, You see, This is why it can be scary moving from the ego to living a life based more in the Creator's energy, A conscious life, Because we have to even make new patterns in our brains. Yeah, But it just happens gradually. It's just a gradual thing. It's very organic. Our soul does it. The Ama inside does it. All we have to do is just turn to her, Turn to the Creator. That's the important thing, Remembering, Remembering. We might think we think about the Creator a lot, But maybe we don't. Or maybe we might be thinking of Ama more like her body, You know, Like an Ama doll, And forgetting that she's the Creator. You know, I just saw something that Edgar Cayce said, That Jesus Christ was going to have returned to the earth by the year 2000, And in this, You know, It was a YouTube video about Edgar Cayce, And this person was saying, Well, You know, That's not happened. And I'm like, Yes, It has. Yes, It's happened. She's Ama. Yeah. Anyway, Like I say, My heart feels very soft and tender, And I have great, Great compassion for anybody who's alive at this time. Yeah. It's because it's confusing and distracting. But then, You know, We also have more freedom now, And there's no witch burnings, And we can move into truth. And remember, You know, If you're feeling blue or things are tough, It's the weather of the day. Remember, It's like a cloud cover. And the sun is still shining behind. And it's, You know, Getting through these days and remembering the Creator that builds, That strengthens, That builds your heart muscle, And strengthens your spiritual journey, And gives you more will, Develops your will. You know, The will to remember the Creator when you just want to run, When you just don't want to have to deal, You just want to run and watch Netflix for 12 hours. The will to remember the Creator, Even if you're watching Netflix for 12 hours, You guys, Even if you're caught in your egos, It's okay. Just keep remembering. Keep remembering. Remember the Creator rather than judging yourself. You know, The worst would be to watch Netflix for 12 hours and then to feel bad about it. You might as well just watch it and remember Amma, Remember the Creator. Go with things more. Go with things. Even I heard Amma once saying that sometimes it was better to go along with a vasana, A pattern from another life. It was better to just indulge it than to bite it. It's sort of like having a child. Sometimes, You know, If you've got a three-year-old and they're really cranky and hard to deal with, Sometimes it's just, You know, You don't ask for much then. Just pick them up and give them an ice cream cone, Whatever, You know, Get your peace. So, Okay, It's question and answer, Though. So, The floor is open. Are you all shy or is there nothing on your mind? Or you don't know how to put in words? Feel free to bumble or even just any observation, You guys. Hi, Pramasutha. Okay, Good. Who is that? Ruth. Ruth Ann? Yeah. Nice, Thanks. Yes. Hi. I just wanted to say thank you, But also I've listened to so many of your satsangs. I'm almost running out. Oh, My goodness. I listen to them every day. Anyways, I've been starting to listen to them two and three times over. And because the first time I listened to them, I don't take notes, I don't do anything. I just let them wash over me and I don't, Yeah, I just let it be. But the second and third time I start listening to them and every time I listen to something two or three times, I'm starting to realize that there's some glimpses of understanding. And I kind of know they're glimpses of understanding because I can't articulate it. I can't, You know what I mean? Like, I'm just going, Oh, Wow. And oftentimes this is at night. So it's, I think, Oh, I hope I can remember this so that I don't lose this understanding, You know? But then I just let it go because I know that I'm going to be grasping at something. Yeah. I just want to say thank you. And they're so helpful for me. I can't tell you. Well, Ruth-Ann, This is lovely for me too. Because sometimes, Really, I feel like this voice that's just speaking this foreign language and that even organized religion doesn't really get me. And I'm like, Okay, This is Pramasutha's walk. Yeah. So actually, It's lovely to hear this. Thank you. Thank you. You know, It is a gradual thing. It's like, This is the way kids learn. They'll understand something for a minute and then it will go. And then it comes back and it will finally stay with you. But Ruth-Ann, You're really open to your feminine nature. You know, Unusually open. And that's part of where it's very rewarding. Like when you've got, You know, When your whole left side sees stuff and you just were with it. Like, To do that, To just be with it. It's like Pramasutha was gobsmacked and just so pleased. Yeah, That's because you've said it so often. And so that's why I did it was because you've said it so many times in your satsangs. And I remember them. And so that's why I decided to do it. I trust everything you say. It's amazing. I just really am so grateful to you. I cannot describe it. Badge of honor for actually putting it in practice, Though, In a clear way. Truly. You see, When we're ready, You guys, It's just seamless to do it. You go, Oh, OK, It seems an obvious thing to do it. But before you're ready, You won't actually let the penny drop. When you let the penny drop, This is what happens with Ruth-Ann's experience. You just realize that it's water to the desert. Right, Ruth-Ann? It's like you didn't even know that you needed this so badly. But when it comes, You're like, Oh, My goodness. Yeah, That's exactly it. I've read and studied under others. And I'm telling you, There's something with you that I connect with immensely. You know what I think? It's just kind of, I just feel like I'm like this person who just stood up and started speaking about what we all know underneath. But we've been trained out of it, You know. But thank you. It's lovely to hear this today, Particularly because, You know, I kind of sometimes I go, OK. What am I doing here? Am I reaching the people that I really need to reach? So thank you, Ruth-Ann. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I know some of you are actually scared of premasuddha. And I just want to say that, Remember, It's not premasuddha you're scared of. You're actually scared of your own soul. You're just scared of bonding with your soul, Really. So, You know, Just be with, Like, It's nothing to be fixed, But don't make it into like a drama about premasuddha. It's nothing to do with premasuddha. It's how you feel about your true self, How you feel about your infinite nature. You're just scared of it. That's why we're on Earth. Everybody who hasn't graduated is scared of their true nature. It's like that simple, You guys. It's. . . I know. Yeah. And yet we're made out of our true nature. Everything's God. You know, This is why, Really, The farther people go along, The more you go, I don't know anything. Really. I had this feeling this morning. I just don't know anything, Really. I don't think it stops you guys. You just, I'll tell you, You just feel really peaceful. But you're still going, I don't really know what's going on here. Yeah. Except as you become as little children, You cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. Little kids, Just, They're very bitable. They just flow along, And they do what their mom and dad say, And. . . Yeah. And they're happy. You guys, I really want to tell you that if you're unhappy, It's not that you are doing anything wrong. Okay? The spiritual journey is arduous. You know? It can be difficult. And our times are not the easiest. So. . . But there's a deep feeling of meaning. That comes as you know you're on the right track. And as Ruth Anne expressed, There's this understanding starts coming, Like land emerging from the ocean. It's a new conscious understanding. And it's like you start seeing it just below the surface as the land emerges. It's the same process with our consciousness. The understanding just emerges. You get a glimpse of it. A glimpse of it. And then, You know, They talk about, In the East, They'll talk about attaining. Attaining spiritual realization. Attaining non-attachment. The attaining is when it's solid enough to hold. Yeah. You attain it. Before that, You'll get a glimpse. There'll be wobbles. You won't be sure. But then, Finally, You attain it. And it's solid. Hi, Primasona. Good, Jenna. You know what? I was just about to call on you. So that's beautiful. Great. How are you, Sweet one? I'm good. I wanted to say around the attainment thing. I think you were telling us a couple of weeks ago, Or maybe last week, To celebrate our progress. It's been really cool. There's about a four-month delay between when the satsang happens and when we are actually posting right now. And at first, When that first happened, I didn't really like it, To be honest. I was like, Oh, No. It feels like we were like. . . Jenna, Just explain. Jenna does the clips. Is one of the people doing clips. So she's talking about making the small, Short videos made out of the satsangs that you see on YouTube. Thanks. Okay. Go ahead, Sweetie. Thank you. And it's been interesting that listening to it with that bit of a delay, It's like just the right amount of time, I think, For things to soak. Oh, Sanaskia feels that, Too. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. How good. So it's curious how things. . . And even like the satsang that we will have that particular weekend, It seems through lines, You know, Which we. . . Nodding away. Yeah. So it's been cool to see the deepening of understanding. So thank you. Yeah. So you're seeing the weave of it. Yeah. The weave, Right? So the satsang from four months ago gets. . . It kind of is cooked, Like ready to come out of the oven. And you guys doing the clips, I'll tell you, Any selfless service, You do this kind of thing, Selfless service, You will get it back 500 million times, Right? Thank you, Guys. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I'm getting. . . I noticed there's some more comments coming on the YouTube channels. Just small little people, Just like hearts, People not saying much, But I can feel that the satsangs have made a deep connection to the videos, To the clips. So thank you, Guys. Because people will listen to clips, Maybe they might have trouble with the whole satsang. Until they're ready. One other thing, Too, That I feel like is for the group. So Amma gave me a dream last night where we were traveling with her. And we were standing in line to have a moment with her, But it wasn't Darshan. Was it you? There were lots of people, But I don't. . . It feels like a message for the group, But I was there. Okay. And so she was standing to the left side, And we were walking through this line to just have a moment. And most people were just genuflecting. And when I walked by her, I did the same thing. I just bowed my head. And then she told me to try to kiss her cheek, And her left cheek. And so I turned to do so. And she put her arms out and held this power between us, This resistance. And I felt like, Okay, To push through it, To move through that resistance. And so I did, And she was so strong. It was this incredible energy coming from her physical body, This incredible resistance. But I was able to move through it and to kiss her left cheek. And as soon as I did, She broke out into this huge smile. Okay. This is very interesting because. . . Bhavani. Sweet one. Are you there? Yeah. Yeah. Left cheek. I heard it. Left cheek. Yeah. It just came to me that she was wondering about her left cheek. You know? What did you say about it, Sweetie? So you were here in the Odenwald. And Triločina and I were in the people who were organizing that. And so it was a wonderful, Intense time. And then you left for Berlin. And I got sick after that. Like more sick than I've been since Antonio was born five years ago. I know this. Because I had to take care of him anyway. And I got massive amounts of acne breaking out on just my left cheek. And it's just clearing up now, A month later. Yeah. Okay. So I just want to. . . Bhavani, We emailed and part of the left cheek that came to mind is. . . You know the expression Christ said, Turn the other cheek? In face of aggression. Don't get in there and get vindictive. And that's a big. . . Flag. About aggression. Because. . . You know, How do I say it? Women particularly, We have a male subconscious in us. That sometimes moves to defend us. So sometimes we can become very warrior-like. Very fierce. And it's not maybe helpful and it's not necessary. That we can use or go through our feminine energy more. And diffuse our difficulties. Diffuse conflicts. You know, Handle things in a feminine way. Okay, That's part of it. The left, Also the left cheek. You know, Think of a shame. Because this is again an issue, Especially with women. Around their shame of being female. You know? Being embarrassed. Blushing. Right. Right. Right. So I. . . Pramasutra just wonders if that was also in the dream with Amma. With her left cheek. And such grace. That we've got such a beautiful weave here. With Bhavani talking about her cheek. And then the dream. And with Amma. It's like, Oh my goodness. It just sounds. . . You know. It sounds like a real alignment. And that issue. And the issue will be up for the guys too. Because, You know, The male patterning is, You know. . . You know, They get. . . I mean. . . Guys, You know, You get sonic drilled with. You know, You have to be like tough and. . . Masters of your destiny and. . . Slay the dragon before you're acceptable. Wow. Well, Jenna. And Bhavani, I'm like. . . This is thrilling to me. Thrilling. Absolutely thrilling. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Really. Thank you. Thank you. And Ruth-Ann. It's all so. . . Like this clearing around the feminine. Clearing so she can come forward and help with this world. Yeah. You guys are all good enough. Okay. Again. Please. And even if you're getting a toughness from Pramasutha. Please. I mean, Hear what Pramasutha says. But don't. . . Don't take it personally. Do you know? And Jenna, This is a real triumph. From the time that I first met you. Did this dream with Amma. And you pushed through it. And kissed her cheek. It's a triumph, Sweetie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, You guys. Our souls. Our inner Amma. They. . . They want us to find. . . To find them. Like. . . You know, You're not barred from experiencing that love and compassion. Yeah, That's it. Ruth-Ann, I love your heart. Yeah. We're not barred from it. It's like. . . This is why we're here. To remember. To find it again. Yeah. To attain that. You know, Many, Many years ago. When I was just starting out as a journalist. I heard about a guy in town who was traveling through town. And he was doing serious play. It's like. . . Carl Jung created it. You get a. . . You have a box full of. . . You arrange toys in a box. Of sand, Basically. And you make a picture. Out of all these figures. And they. . . What picture you create. Will. . . Illuminate your soul. It will illuminate your. . . Your emotional conflicts. And what's obstructing you. I mean, It's just magic. So, I mean, Really. It would reduce our therapies. I mean, It would. . . It takes so much shorter time to be healed. If we did stuff like this. Because. . . So, I made all the arrangements. And then the gentleman started talking about what. . . How I'd. . . You know, What I'd done. And as he was talking. I just burst into tears. Just streaming down my face. With this deepest sorrow. That I'd ever felt in my life. And he said to me. That's it. That's the solution to this. Just feeling that sorrow. Like he was a. . . Pretty awakened guy. Anyway. The thing was that my box. He said the most. . . Optimistic thing he could say. Was. . . I had a feminine. A female dancer. Dancing on a. . . A plate. Of hieroglyphics. Like a whole bunch of different languages. And she was dancing on this plate. It was like the feminine. The feminine. Just no matter how bad everything is. There she is dancing. And it's. . . She dances a language. A language that all cultures understand. All languages. We all understand love. We all understand. Loving our babies. Loving our children. Loving our husbands. Nurturing. All these. . . The compassion. We all understand it. We all need it so much. And we're just in this place. Where we're all so scared of it. So when you come forward. And you're doing it like bravely. Because it is brave. It is really brave to do this. Even with a group. It's still brave. You're helping to really bring it into this world. And that's where I started. It was just like. . . I looked around and I went. . . There is no point in living. I really came to this. There is no point in living unless I do this. But my life would be totally meaningless. If I didn't do this. And I really had my mother's example. For someone who ran from it. And she was not a happy camper. And so, You know, I look back. And it's. . . You know, It's been quite a difficult. . . Walk. This is why I'm so grateful to see your sweet faces. Because it's like. . . Okay, There's a meaning to all this. It worked. It's true. This knowledge is true. And it can be transmitted to others. And we can. . . Sweeten up the world. Warm up the world. Which, Of course, Is an illusion. And what we're really working with. Is our own evolution. And our own dream. So, You can look at it and say. . . Okay, Well, You're just beating your. . . Your graduation day. From this mortal coil. But you guys. . . I walk with you so closely. Truly. Yeah. Although you might not feel that. But I do. And. . . Premasiddha will step back. If you need time. To get something. Because, Really, If I keep pounding you. When you're not ready. That's just aggression. I'm not going to do that. There's something else that's in this building. You know, I worked with a woman. Margaret. She's. . . She was 93. And we worked once a week. For about 10 weeks. And she. . . I saw her the other day. And she. . . She looks and acts 10 years younger. I'm like. . . Oh, My goodness. She really. . . She dumped over the course of these weeks. She dumped so much. That she had been carrying. In her life. Yeah. And she just gradually dumped it. And as we were going through this. She would be. . . Sometimes she'd go like. . . You know, Janet. I'm not 100% sure about you. She'd been a realtor her life. You know. And I'm like. . . I said, Well. . . Margaret, Join the club. It's like most of the world. So don't worry about it too much. But let's just. . . Let's just keep going. Yeah. And I'll tell you. She. . . She's moving way faster. She. . . It's really 10 years younger. So I'm like. . . Okay. So I asked her if she'd done anything. You know. And she said, No, I'm just feeling good. Yes. She'd been to the doctor that day. And all her. . . You know, Her blood and her heart was good. Like. . . Yeah. So. . . Trilla Chan, Have you got anything on your mind? Why are you asking so specific? What do you think I should have on mind? No, I've just been. . . I've just been wondering about you. I don't. . . Really, I don't have an agenda, Man. I just. . . I mean, Our last. . . Our last private conversation we had after last week's satsang. . . Was quite intense for me, I must admit. And. . . Still being trapped so much in. . . Fixing mode. And. . . What I. . . What I do currently is really. . . I put in. . . At least from level I can see it. I put in practice. I really pray. I try to pray, I would say, More intensively. I pray. More for self. Yeah. No, No, It's all good. You know, That's funny. Is it just after last satsang? Because, You know, It feels like a month to me. It's just. . . Well, Then, Sweetie, I'll just let you be then. Like, Just. . . No, It's good. I'm happy. You know, I'm very happy if you. . . For any things, Even if it was hard on. . . What to say hard on me? I mean, Like. . . I put it really into practice. I stopped everything about the fixing stuff, What you said. I put it on hold. And. . . Just pray. That's my biggest thing now. Yeah. Well, You know, This is what Pranasutha did. I just prayed. And, You know what? And I tried to be nice to people. Yeah. No, Really, Really. You guys, You know. . . When I went to Germany and was working with Trilichan and Bhavani, I was really focused on really meeting the needs of all the clients. Right? You guys noticed that. And it was a bigger love and a bigger taking care of than is the normal. And it's kind of. . . You know, Trilichan? It is the prayer that will get you there. Yeah. It really is. Yeah. And just being. . . Being with yourself, You know? And if. . . You know what happens to me? Pranasutha just gets brought to grief, You guys. You know, I get brought to grief. And then I feel it. And then there's something that Pranasutha is letting go of. It's pretty much it. Right? And reminding about the Creator. Reminding, You know. . . Well, That's what prayer is, Obviously. Yeah. You know, I've said it many times and I wonder if guys. . . If it doesn't suit guys as much, But. . . The power of imagination. So if you imagine yourself in. . . In Amma's arms or. . . Just full of light. You know, These constant imaginings. . . They steer the psyche. They steer the psyche towards love and acceptance. It's really, In a way, What you just need to know. . . Is that you're beautiful the way you are. Right? Yeah. Just as you are now. All of you, Too. All of you, Just as you are. You know, When you have a three-year-old, You love the three-year-old. You're not saying to the three-year-old, They have to do physics. Well, Really, That's what we're like with ourselves. Right? Yeah. It's good. I mean, You know, The tricky thing, I think. . . What I go through, Maybe others feel it as well. I don't know, But. . . You know, When you're. . . When there is stuff you're really. . . You're suffering about. I mean, You know, My fear stuff, My limitations. . . I put up since one and a half years now. The conditioning is so strong to do something against it. To do whatever you feel could help. Right? Right. Okay. Stop, Stop, Stop. Okay. So, This is. . . Premasutha. . . What Premasutha finds the biggest obstacle. Okay? Now, Premasutha said many, Many times that whatever you fight will get bigger. So, If you let that penny drop, You will stop. Fighting it. Do you understand? If you really let what Premasutha says drop. If you really get it. You'll stop fighting. You'll go, This does not work. I'm going to lose. That, That, Trilla Chan, Is the biggest trouble I've had working with you. Is that you. . . That you don't listen. To these bigger. . . These bigger understandings. You kind of just. . . Yeah, You don't. . . You don't get it. And then I go, Oh, You don't want to get it. You see, Because it is so simple. We actually get it when we want to. Right. I mean, If you really get that, That whatever you fight will get bigger. You won't fight it. I'll tell you how I know I learned this. I was working with a really incompetent spiritual teacher who kept telling me to release everything. So I released everything with Premasutha's full focused energy. Just with all my might, I released everything. Over a course of a month. And what happened was I got a tidal wave of everything I had released. Flowing back over me. Because I'd released it in a trying to fix, Fighting it. And Premasutha was totally destabilized by this. But it was a very good lesson about how it does not work to try to fix yourself out of self-hatred. Does any of this make sense to you? Yeah, It does. You know, What is weird, What came to my mind, You know, I'm sharing very openly. Isn't that the very end when I pray for it? Isn't that even fixing? I mean, I pray for Amma, Help me. Amma, Help me out of that. Help me to learn, Whatever it is. Yeah, Good. You see, I think you should do that. You should pray to become your true self. Pray to be shown your next step. Yeah, Take it right out of the fixing. Pray for help out of the fixing. It's like you're fine the way you are. I'm not too worried about you because I saw you take the Creator into your heart. And this last satsang, That's so funny because it feels like a month. Yeah, So that was the beginning. You know, There's a beginning there for this bigger comprehension. But just take your time, Man. You guys, Whatever difficulties we've got with ourselves, Remember there's a good reason for them. They come from many lifetimes. Might not just be a quick fix, You know. These patterns have been there a while. On the other hand, We're at this time when a great deal can be let go of. I'd say, You know, Amma is making a lot of clearing possible. It's like the Creator is giving scholarships. Yeah. Good, Thank you. Thank you. Molly, Is there anything that you'd like to say? Not that you should if you don't feel to, But. . . Yeah, I think just every time I come, What. . . Yeah, I'm really nervous to talk. I feel like every time I come, What comes to the forefront for me is. . . Just like I'm holding back a river. Like it's me holding. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Good, Good. Okay, Just feeling that. Just feeling that. Just feeling it. That, You know, There'll be others that feel that way, Sweetie. It's not just you. We're our biggest obstacles. Yeah. But it's interesting. I only feel it here. I only feel that way here. Well, The energy is heightened. So you'd feel it, Right? You'd become conscious of it here. But it would be how you're living your life. But because of the energy, It would come into your consciousness. Here. Trust me on this. Penicillin knows what she's talking about. Well, It's good that you've. . . That we're speaking then. And that you've told the group that you feel this. Because this is how things get dissolved. We can do it through meditation, But you can also do it through a really loving group. Right. Good. Good. Good. I'm hearing you say, I'm here. And you're saying it two ways. You're saying here as an H-E-R-E, But also H-E-A-R. Both. I feel you're really hearing me, Actually. Is this all too much? No, It was just interesting when you said that. There's. . . There's just a sense that something else in me is listening. Right. Exactly. Exactly. You guys, Listen. If, You know, If Premasuddha says something, And you might feel that at some part, 20 feet deep inside, That responds, That hears. It might be a part of you that feels far from your conscious mind that's responding. But over time, That feeling will go away, And you just become more fully present. And just. . . Yeah. You're actually feeling how much we, We put sort of stuffing over our true nature. All the padding that we put, Not to feel it. To keep it kind of silent and pushed down. And as you stop doing that, And start feeling, Start feeling the pain of doing that, What I say becomes much more understandable. Yeah. Thanks, Holly. This really helped people, Because lots of others feel this way too, Sweet one. It's not just you. Is there anything else you want to say before we complete? There's just this anger there too, But I can't quite put my finger on it. About what it's about? I don't know. I don't think it wants to come forward today, Whatever it is. Yeah. I'll tell you. Okay. You guys, As little kids, We turn in anger to our own souls. Please get this. In the conflict between, As like a little, Little one, A little one turns and gets angry at their true nature and takes on the family emotional climate. The anger, The, The ego is built on anger at the true nature. And then also underneath that anger is fear of the true nature. And then under that fear is the grief of separation. The terrible grief of being separate from our true natures. So there's no rush, Holly, But you're, You're on track. You're on track. Yeah. Thanks, Holly. So we can keep going. You know, When I choose people, It's just, I just get the feeling and it's not, It's not personal, You guys. It's, It's, It's just guidance that comes, But really it's better if you just come forward. Well, I won't say it's better. It's easier for Premasuddha if you guys come forward, Because then I don't have to worry whether some of you are feeling neglected and feeling like Premasuddha is favorite, But he doesn't truly a don't. Oh, Susan. Susan. Hi. Hi. I don't know what I have. I have a lot of, I have a lot. I don't have a lot of thoughts. I can echo firstly, What Ruthanne mentioned earlier about my gratitude for what you bring to me and the group. It, It truly resonates. And I, I just see huge return, Like a return, Like a return. And so I feel, Well, There's a couple of things I could do a little testimony. I've been pressed with a lot of work. I had this project land in my lap, Like out of nowhere last minute. And I love it. And I love the person I'm working with. And it was just like, Like insanely fortuitous and timing wise and all of that. And I'm, I'm, I'm noticing, You know, I'm always shows up for me, But anyhow, I've been under a lot of pressure hustling, Trying to get things going. It's been really intense. And I kind of hit the stopping point, Like on Thursday, Feeling burnout, Knowing, Knowing I needed to take care of myself. But like, You know, I had an appointment to get my driver's license renewed that morning. I had a, I was supposed to meet a friend and go look at a museum. And I was kind of like, Fuck it. I canceled the DMV thing. And then I felt bad about canceling on my friend. Cause I'd already done it before, But like, She's really nice and we should be like friends, But she kind of drags me like, You know, What like depletes me or whatever. And I, And, And my daughter's home and she's not happy, Not being in California right now. And we both need it. And I was like, You know what? Fuck it. We're going to the beach. And as soon as I canceled, Like my friend, I was just like, Everything just like opened up. I was like, You know, Cause I'm really trying to feel, Cause I feel numb a lot, You know, Cause I repress like, And I'm really, And I went with like my inner guidance. I'm trying to do that like with everything. And we just had, Like, Like money came in that day. We went to the beach, We had this awesome day. Sophie took your book with her. And I just like everything lifted. And I feel like I'm on the cusp of a really big like change. Like I feel it coming. I don't know what it is. Like, Like a new location, Like, Like really big. Like I'm, I, I feel like I'm on the precipice of really being in my life. Right. And so one of the questions I did have for you, You mentioned, And this is kind of what I'd like to experiment with that you used to write your life, Like what you wanted it to be or, And here you are now doing it. And I was wanting to ask you for some guidance around what that looks like. Cause I, I don't know. It's like I get tripped up on my ego around this idea of writing what I want my life to be. You know what I mean? I just wanted to hear you talk about it some more. Okay. So a couple of things. What I think is actually the most valuable is to write out your history many times. So, I mean, Nobody wants to hear that, But actually that does big clearings for us and, And really helps clear the way for a better life. Okay. We often don't want to hear this. We want a technique that just lifts us into a better life, Right? So sweetie, Susan, What I did was I wrote fables and it wasn't, It wasn't a logical process. I kind of just wrote these fables and in the fables was woven the life that I wanted or whatever difficulty I was struggling with. And I would just write a fable about it because they made me feel better. Okay. So it was a, It helped heal my heart to even write them. And so that's why it, It worked. Do you see? Okay. So the way you were asking it was a little bit like, Tell me a technique for me to get my best life. Okay. And I, I went like, Oh, That's not the energy that I was talking about at all. Yeah. Right. That is. Yeah. Right. Okay. Just seeing that good. Good. That's why I wanted you to talk about it a little more. Cause you, Like you briefly mentioned it and then my, You know, I get so logical, Like I, You know, Yeah, No, But that is, So I thought if I could hear about like, Um, Yeah, Just hear a little more, I could drop the, The fix it mind or whatever. No, No, No. I just think you need to validate the fact that you took action on your own behalf. You took action from the heart with the day at the beach and it's a big victory and just leave it like that. Yeah. And you're, You're on this. I get what you're saying. You're on the, On the brink of a big change, But the change will happen, Sweetie, As you let yourself get the heart of what premise it is talking about more and more. So just, You know, Just remember, I'm talking about love. I'm talking about the heart. I'm talking about your true selves. It's very innocent. It's very, It takes a while to learn how to walk this walk because we've been so trained in our egos. So Susan, I think it'd be helpful to you to just go like, Okay, I'm, I'm entering a new area, New way of living, A more responsive to truth way of living, Responsive to, To my heart. And I can feel that you're not sure you can do it. And that's part of where the question came from. So, I'll tell you what, You know, I would just write letters to the universe saying within six months, You want to be solid in this new way of living and that you want the transition to be as safe and, You know, Supported everything you need and then burn it and write it with humility and, And gratitude to the universe. Right. And, And then you help to walk it like a sincere seeker. You know, As you come down to the heart of things, What's going to happen is you will, You will talk less and you'll get simpler and you'll get clear for everybody to simpler, Clear. People will get you more. Aha. And they'll respect you more too. If you're coming more from who you are, They will respect you more. Right. And that's important to you. Right. Okay. Good. Okay. So be a humble seeker, Susan, Humble seeker, All of you guys, Humble, Humble in, In not in a miserable sinner, Fake humility, But being like a child. Right. Good. Okay. That's very good. Very good. Okay. Good work, Susan. I just want to talk to you before, Because we're coming, We're going late. So I just want to, How are you doing? Saskia was when I offered a phone call and she was too scared to talk to me. No, It's still in the back of my head. It's still cooking. When you said last week in the satsang, You said something that really made a big change in me. You said, I want to evolve. You told us to say, I want to evolve. And I take what comes as gentle as possible with all the support I get. And something changed because I always thought my life isn't that bad. Maybe I don't want it enough to change. And, But when you said that, For the first time I had that feeling, Yes, I want to complete on this earth or earth plane and evolve. And after that, I, All of a sudden started being very scared. I, For the first time could see the fear I had of being me, Of my true me. And, But I moved past that. And then I started writing letters to the universe. That was the other clue that really helped me. And I could see how bad I was with, Or am with myself. I thought it's like, I was worse than the Stasi. I was just hitting myself on the head as soon as the smallest tiny seat came up. Good. Good. Good. And I feel also like I left, I can't explain it. I left stuff behind me. I went through a door and I feel I'm in a whole new world. Sometimes I'm going back and forth and it's like, There's a lot of fog. There's also a lot of light. And that's where I am. That's, That's it. You know what? And that's exactly the way it was for Pramasuta too. Exactly. It would be like that. Totally. Like go through a door, Foggy, But light and yeah. It's very subtle. Right. That's good work, Saskia. That's, That's way braver. That's big courage. Like my hat off. That's big achievement, Sweetie. It's a big achievement. Yeah. Good for you. Good for you. Thank you. Yeah. I haven't forgotten the phone call. No, You can just be in the back burner. I was, I was poking a bit, But it's also, It's also good for everybody to know that other people are scared too. Right. But we're all kind of, Yeah. It's interesting how I try to find ways to be myself without, You know, Like I'm working with you and doing these clips. It's so great for me because I can do what I love without having to show my face. I can still hide myself and do, You know, Like, Like we try to do this big split without, Between our fear and being our soul. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And it's, Yeah, It's fascinating. There isn't any split, But I know it can feel like it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your face is so adorable. Oh my goodness. Okay. Well, See some of you tomorrow and thank you. This has really been a fertile satsang. Thank you guys. Blessings. Blessings. Bye.