I want to talk about one really,
Really dear,
Very spiritually talented woman who came alongside me for about five years.
And she was very,
Very generous with her support,
You know,
Paid for my travel and everything,
And was incredibly sensitive to people and able to pick up information about them.
So she was an instinctive healer.
And she was so loving and she knew love was so important,
But she could not love herself.
So at that time,
And maybe this has changed,
But,
And that's why we had to stop working together.
Because five years had passed,
And there'd been a lot of change in her,
But this root of this refusal to love herself at a deep level.
So she would go through hard times and she would refuse to pray or to take any action to help herself.
So think of a play where you have a spiritual student and they say they really want to know God.
They talk about spirituality a lot.
They read books about it.
They go see various masters.
And then,
You know,
Think of it like a play,
But then they go through these periods and they just lie in their bed,
Refusing to help themselves.
And so as a result of that,
They lose closeness with their teacher,
With the teacher.
So they set up circumstances that they get abandoned by a person who is bringing them love,
But they got abandoned because they refused to love themselves.
And because of this refusal to love herself,
She could not get access to the deeper knowledge.
She could not really know what I was talking about.
Right.
So,
You know,
Prema Sutta has seen this kind of thing up close and personal.
And always for me,
It's like,
It's like as if the person seems to me a little psychotic.
Because I think it is psychotic.
A real,
It's a perfect example of a socially sanctioned psychosis.
To be a sincere spiritual student,
Support the teacher,
And then refuse to connect up to the divine inside.
This is what's going on in some of you,
Too.
Some of the people I'm hammering,
It is what is going on in them,
Even though they might think that they're spiritual.
And I'm hoping that they will embrace the hammering and surrender to the creator within them.
Surrender and get really interested in learning how to walk the walk.
Not talking it,
Walking it.
And in,
For the ego,
There can be a tremendous feeling of lost control.
And this is what blocked this dear one.
She could not let go of control,
Even though the control had her feeling totally dark and abandoned.
You see how crazy it is?
This is why spiritual teachers,
People who are really awake,
Go,
The world's crazy.
I'm wanting you all to really begin to witness yourself dispassionately.
Get really,
Really dispassionate about what you do and your choices.
Like,
Look at them with dispassionate eyes.
Step back from your experience and really see what you're doing.
And what happens is the ego keeps us asleep,
And it's our normal.
So we don't kind of question it.
We don't see it.
Even though the writing is right there on the wall,
We don't even see it.
Because it's normal.
So we get put to sleep,
And we don't see what we're doing.
Like,
This dear one,
She couldn't see it,
What she was doing.
