About Dreams And Memories

A deep dive into truth. Hats off to those who turned up and shared their early experiences and dreams.

It takes great courage to expose our early wounding and vulnerable hearts but if the environment is safe, then it is healing.

The good news is it will be accelerating for anyone who listens right through.

Speakers: Judy, Saskia, Andrea, Michael, Richard, Maxi, Robert, Laura, Franka

Transcript

We're receiving grace every single time. Moment of our lifetimes we're receiving grace we're surrounded by it We're made out of it. This whole world is made out of unconditional love. We call it energy. We don't realize it's love, But you can wake up. And learn to receive love, Or more like learn to receive love and then wake up. It will wake you up. To how loving it is here. Everything is the Creator. Everything. You are the creator. Among us. Spoke to. The big Swami, Because he picked up some sand that she just walked over and he was just loving the sand that she had stepped on. Right. And she said, You know, Basically love all the sand. It's all me. Right. The good and the bad. All. But we just become happier. As we Follow. Our truth and to follow our truth which is The point of this satsang. To really live in integrity, You guys, You will have to understand yourselves. You will have to understand your ego. And be able to discern what is ego and what is truth. And in order to do that, You have to understand yourself psychologically. At least somewhat. This is where all Pramasutta's knowledge comes from. I deeply understand myself. And so I deeply understand you guys. To levels of a thousand deep levels in you. And when you're speaking to me, Sometimes you're just talking from level 10. So this Satsang is. . . Is where we're beginning to look at yourself and look at your filter because you perceive your reality through the filter. Of your personality. So when you can see. . . Clearly, Your ego. You step into freedom. Many people on the earth today think their thoughts, Their ego thoughts are true reality. And this is the problem. Okay, So may this. . . Satsang session. Just be very, Very powerful in the best possible way for all of you who've turned up and for all who listen to it. And may it catalyze some beautiful, Beautiful, Deep changes and movement into freedom. And so it is. Thank you. So what we're going to talk about is the first memories or the first dreams. And then also what our biggest strength and biggest weakness is. And I thought we'd start with just a focus on either our first memory. Or as early in memory as we can remember, Or our childhood dreams, Like nightmares, Particularly, That you had as a child, Will. . . Shine a light on your core wounding. So. . . Have you guys thought about this? Does anybody want to come forward? Somebody. Volunteer. Judy, Yes. Please, Go. This is a dream I had probably when I was four and it came back a lot. I mean, I can still see it now. It's just a weird dream. It's just, I don't know what it means. It's just always happened. I dreamed it so many times that it's just a recording now. Right. I was in the family station wagon. My sister was the driver. Remember, I was probably four or five, So she was probably six or seven. And she was a driver and we were driving home. My brother Paul was in the car too, But. And we ended up, We were driving home from my grandparents. So they lived up the mountain and we went past, We drove past fields to get home and we ended up in a field. The dream doesn't go far. In the dream, Though, My sister ended up with a beehive as her head. She had a beehive for a head. We didn't go any further, But she was ahead of me somehow. And that was that. I mean, That is the. . . Snippet of dream that i can still remember now it would show up if i wanted it to tonight i think if I wanted it to. That's it. How do you feel about it? What do you think about it? Back then it used to scare me because it seemed very scary to have your sister with a beehive as her head. And then as I got older, It just made me chuckle. I didn't assign any meaning to it, So I don't know if it meant anything. Earliest dreams, That would be one of the few that I have that is still vivid. Well, One of the things that comes to me is you are not in the driver's seat. So it's like an aspect of your unconscious is driving. Okay, So our sisters are often. . . Like, Not shadow side, But could be also shadow side. It just means that our unconscious is driving rather than our. . . Conscious self. That we're unconscious of our divinity. If somebody else is driving a car, Yeah, We're unconscious of our divinity. The other thing that screams at me is, You know, Busy as a bee. You know, Our training to do, Do, Do, Do. Busy as a beat. And that you didn't make any progress once her head turned into a beehive. It's like with the busy, Busy bee, Then there's. . . You know, Many of us get sidetracked into doing and we stop listening to the heart. Yeah. We ignore our integrity. We just do the practical busy. We feel good because we're busy. The society says good to be busy. Yeah. So how do you feel when I say this? And please just be very honest about everything. When you say it, It's much more deep than I ever thought about it. In fact, Your conversation just made me think about the dynamic of my brother because he was off toward the back and to the left. And growing up, He was the follower. We were all close in age by 18 months. And so he always was the follower of me. But, Um, I never understood the beehive and she, I don't see her as being the busy, Busy one, But yes, I, I. That has always been the way I've lived. So yeah, That part makes sense. I'm not sure why I would assign that to her than why I didn't end up with a beehive. Because she's representing your unconscious, Your sleep state. Like your way of living has been an unconscious sleeping way. Sorry. No, That makes sense. That does make sense. You see, People say the spiritual journey and our psychology isn't logical, But it's really logical in a big way. It's very logical. Yeah, Our training is to be busy and not to listen and not follow our integrity. And so your car stopped, You know, Like no progress was made. Yeah. I just figured it's because we went off the road. We were in a field instead of on the road now. Well, Yeah, You got. You know, You got stopped. I mean, You got off the path. Yeah. That's big. Right. Good. Good. Actually, This understanding could be the making of you. I can feel it. I can feel it. You could make a really big leap. With this. See, You guys, This is the gold in us. It's like if we pay attention, We get the gold. And we're worth. . . The thought, We're worth the energy, We're worth the attention, You know? Yeah, This is your little inner child self going, I'm going to miss my chance to move into truth. Please listen to this dream. Right. Yeah, But you're listening now. It doesn't matter when. And. . . You know, There can be great leaps made as we get older. So there's no ceiling. I wonder, Is there a relationship, Because it feels right, If I think about Nancy being, Because she. . . Being the older and being the, She always was the. Favored one for lack of a better way of putting it but and so i wonder if assigning my busyness to her. Made me spend my time thinking I have to be that busy person in order to measure up to her. Right. Right. It's just a way of figuring out what was valued and accepted. Right. So, Yeah. Yeah, So let it. . . Let it rip. Yeah. You know, This way, It's sort of like it can kind of cut open the wound a bit to let go of the pus of misunderstanding. I always feel like pus is like misunderstanding. And you just let it go. And then you can see the sliver of misunderstanding and you can pull it out. Yeah, And the misunderstanding is, I can feel it, You didn't feel valued. And I can feel that the sliver being the whole. Stop following. Stop following. Right. Well, The slivers, The misunderstanding that's safer to follow rather than to be true to yourself. Yeah. And that's huge. That for me, That's huge. Cause I actually. It's so big. I spent all my life. I've come to this recognition that I've spent almost all of my efforts. Measure. . . Measuring up not to others, But to my perception of their perception. Yeah totally. Yeah. This is what we do. Yeah, I know. That's not fun. It's not fun and it doesn't even work, You know. People will respect you more the more you are in truth. Basically. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's beautiful. I hope this helps you guys. Okay, Next. Hi, It's me again, Saskia. I have one dream. I mean, I had a lot of dreams. I wrote them down. They're not in my memory, But there's one that's always kind of in the back of my head. Was it some childhood? Yes, I was a child in my childhood home. I don't know. I would say. . . Maybe five, Between four and six, From what it feels like. And I was in the garage. We had two garages. I just want to come back again. Did you have this dream when you were really little? Um. I don't remember when I had it. I'm a little, I feel a little bit. Uh. . . Okay, What's your earliest memory then? I feel not to go ahead with this dream. There's a little bit of a fudge in the whole thing. So let's go back to your first memory. Okay. Um. . . There's not much. Yeah, I feel like that's more the truth of it. That you need to recognize the blank. Mm-hmm. And yeah. There's things I know in my head, But they are not, You know, Things I know in my head from wherever, But not a memory of my own. Okay. So just be with that, Sweetie. Just be with that. Okay. But there's nothing. No information coming from the level that I'm asking from. So just. Focus on that. And you can ask Amma for something to emerge. The highest good pays. But I want to really emphasize something, Saskia. You cannot fudge on this, Okay? I could feel the energy of kind of a fudge, A kind of a stepping over, Kind of a coming in sideways, And you can't. You can't. Okay. Okay. This is true integrity. Okay. So I know you kind of know that. But I, I. I think that it's like part of you wants to step over and ignore the uncomfortable things that actually you'll have to face in order to do it. There's part of you that's trying to orchestrate it. And it's part of your ego that's trying to orchestrate it. And it would. . . Take a lot of time and would avoid the gold. I'm really spelling it out to you. Mm-hmm. Okay. It's sort of like admit the actual lack of information. From your early years, Because that is very important. OK, It's really, Really important to. Be with that. Right. And then notice. How you feel about what I've said. Give it over to Amma. This work is really hard on egos, You guys. I do empathize, Truly. I went through it myself, So believe me. I know all about it. Thank you. Don't take it personally. Okay. I promise you that. Okay, Laura. I just spent the morning with my mom, And I don't. . . Last week I remembered. . . Okay, Stop, Stop, Laura, Stop. The question is, What is your earliest memory and what is your earliest dream that you can remember? The earliest. . . They are both greens. Their earliest nightmare. Somebody in. . . Okay, So how old were you when, Okay, Stop. How old were you when you had this? Unless you've been five or six. Okay, Perfect. Okay, So what was the dream? Someone was pointing a gun at me. As my curtains look like. There was somebody in the flowers. And. And I thought it was going to kill me. And I woke up. Crying and got in bed with my mom. And after a dream, My mother. . . Was laughing because she was hiding from me. Behind these big rocks. And I was crying because I was looking for her. I couldn't find her. And I still. . . Yo! I don't want to be phony. With her, I still feel that. There's some kind of. . . Disconnect. With my mom and I don't know what it is. Right. Okay. Okay, So. Okay, Now, This is good. It's like, You guys. This is a disconnect between us and all our moms. The really simple, Instinctive love. Gets conditioned away, And it gets complicated because we're in a patriarchy. And so women do not feel they can go forward in their true energy. So they are saying no to it. So there is a disconnect. With both sexes. From the mother? But particularly. . . Daughters. Because most women are carrying a kind of negativity about their true feminine nature. Okay, The gun, You know, Was it male or female? Did you have a feeling when you were little who was behind the curtain? It was male. He looked like that guy from Hope and Heroes. So it was interesting because he was, You had the sense of him hiding in the flowers? In the dark. The flowers look like his face. Like, You know how you see animals in the clouds? Okay. So the flowers in the curtain. The flowers and the curtains. Yeah. Looks like his face. You know, And beyond this, You know, About the women and what happens to our mothers. You know, Our. . . Our intellect comes in in our culture. And disrupts. Our instinctive self. The more complicated a culture is. The more this will happen in an Aboriginal culture. It is far less intense. Far just more organic and natural. And mammalian, Like animal in a good way, In a good way. The more complex a culture, The more the. Intellect disrupts the instinctive knowledge. And there's a level that the. . . The intellect, In a way, Like it kills our instinctive self, Our intellects. But we have to develop them. And at this point in time with humanity are the development of our intellects, Of our heads. Seriously exaggerated. To our detriment. This is why there is this, We exploit Mother Nature, We don't love her. This is the same thing that we do to ourselves. We really, We exploit ourselves and we don't love ourselves and we exploit others. So this dream seems to me a very innocent child. Recognition of this on a very deep level. So how do you feel when I've said all this? I feel like My chest is breaking open. I feel like it's breaking open and I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. It's a healing, Sweetie. It's the healing. It's a healing of heartbreak. It's a heart expansion. You're personally, Sweetie, Your head makes a lot of things wrong that Premasuda wouldn't think are wrong. Do you know what I mean? That's why I'm afraid to say anything, Because my head tells me, No, It's wrong. Clemson's going to say you're wrong. Yeah, And that's the gun. In the dream, What's the gun? Is your head saying that you're wrong? But I'm just. . . Talking about why it's not your fault. You look at the bigger what's going on in our culture. So it would be this way. A little girl like you would have that dream and would have this tendency to tell herself that she was doing it wrong because in this bigger culture, This is what we're doing to our heart energy. One of the things that helped Pramasuta is the more my mind, My mind broadened. The more I could accept myself. And that's why I keep sort of stretching you guys to see the bigger picture. Alma says, In our time, We really need to open the doors and windows of our minds. And this is what I'm trying to do with you guys. Kermasuda's mind broadened as I felt these uncomfortable emotions in me. And I did not repress them. And as I felt them, My understanding grew. So just feeling your emotions, Whatever comes up. Don't worry about your editorializing or anything. Just feel them. It's heartbreaking. It's warning. To connect with my mom ever since I got here. But I can't. Be who I am with her. Yeah, Laura. You're going off. I want you to focus on it's your connection to Laura that needs to be healed. Okay, You're looking. Pour it in your mum, But you need to. . . Connect up with Laura and know that Laura's okay. And if you're having trouble with your mom, Just give it over to Ama and open. And open to the guidance. Okay, Sweet one. I know that your brain's not functioning so well. These days, But I know you can do it. Will help you. Okay. Ama can transcend a wonky brain, Okay? Okay. I'm like, You can move like 10 reps. So just And say your mantra. Okay, And say your mantra. Okay, Good. Okay, Somebody else? Come forward. I can try. Yeah, Richard, Yay, Good. I have a series of dreams where I was running away from witches. And there's one in particular where I was running away and found an exit in a trapdoor on the ceiling. And the trapdoor led to the. . . The box of my bed, Which I can open and then I was laying in my bed. And then I was waking up and. . . I thought I woke up but I was still in a dream and the witch was like knocking on the bed from underneath and I woke up again. Um. . . Yeah. Then I was running to my parents because I was really scared. Yeah. And later on, I remember then I turned around and I knew I can turn the tables and get rid of the witches when I just be self-confident and they go away. But in the beginning, I was always running away from witches. Okay, But then it turned as you dreamed? Not in the same dream. It was years later. I don't know what switched, But I was confident enough to stand up for myself and run towards the witch, And then the witch was running away from me. Okay. Okay, So guys, Do you see how the psyche heals itself? Do you see? That is fantastic, Richard. And it's fantastic that you can remember the earlier dream and then see the progress of your psyche working to face this. This is fantastic. Okay. Yeah. So, You know, What is your thought about the image of the witch? What do witches mean for you? I could imagine it connects to fear in general. To run away from fears and then to face the fear, But I'm not sure. Yeah so there are a couple things i mean it's it's the negative feminine right the witch It's the feminine in her negative aspect. The control, Basically. Control, Okay. Yeah it's which it's like not not hard it's more control like you know Doing the spells for. . . You know, Like in the fairy tales, You know, It's a negative. Okay. So one of the things is, You guys. The patriarchal woman is pretty witchy. She is pretty controlled by her head. Her heart is small. It's not real love coming from her. So that's part of it. But on another aspect, I think it's just fear of the feminine. A little bit of fear of the feminine. Yeah. And the power of the feminine. You stood up. It's fantastic. You know, You could go back into the dream too. And if you want to explore the whole thing about what a witch means, You could go back to the first dream where you were scared. End. Sort of confront her in a way so you could even put Ama in there. So the true nature of this witch becomes clear, Like it may be. . . She may be hiding or it may be like a really expanded feminine energy in there. That's. Being obstructed right now. Do you see? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah it could yeah that's my feeling about which uh images that it's what it's when you know in a way the the great incredibly loving wisdom of the true feminine gets uh contracted into control. And so there, You know, In fact, I remember when I. Was having all that emotional turmoil in my 30s. And energetically, My hands felt I could feel the claw aspect, Almost like a witch aspect. And I was like stunned. And I realized it was control healing. Like the. . . You know, The kind of the feminine feeling like she always had to stay in control or else. Terrible things were going to happen. And it was a healing of that. But I could feel the claw of the witch. I was shocked. But it was the healing, So. So how do you feel about all this? Are you interested in confronting the. . . Yeah. I'm really interested. I thought it was a success that the tables turned, But I think there's lots of potential in getting in a conversation or in contact to the stream character. Yeah, And I feel like it would really release you on some deeper levels. Yeah. And put Ama everywhere, Just for, Okay. You know, Security for you, Psychological security. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, Thank you, Richard. Do you see, You guys, It's zero to 100. It's like straight to the heart of the issues. Thank you. I'm so glad we got here. That we could do this. You guys are turning up. And if you don't get a time today, We can keep doing these till you. You've spoken, But don't waste any time, You guys. Come forward. Okay, Robert. Or Kalidas. Kalidas, Yes. Kalidas, What does it mean? That's the servant of Kali. It's the what? The servant of Kali. Oh, Servant of Kali. Oh, Lovely. Yeah, That's for Servant of Kali, For the goddess. Oh, Okay. Okay, Well. So what is your offering? My offering is, I had for many circumstances, Many times during my childhood, Not a dream, But I always in the night. I kind of woke up and I felt like a really, Like every wrinkle of the bed sheet, I really felt on my skin and felt heavy. And I felt the bed and it was really heavy. And it was like some really like, I was surrounded by it. And it was like really tightening in the sense of. . . Laying over me And even when I stood up, This feeling of I can feel. . . Something around me was still going on and sometimes i sit then in the out of my room in the Always. And yeah, That was, That's like, That came up quite a lot. So what's your feeling about it as an adult? What do you think about that? I feel my heart a little bit more pumping and a heaviness. And that's. . . And I felt overwhelmed because I felt overwhelmed that everything was so. . . So intense. Feeling on my skin. So. . . Yeah, I can really feel this. And it's interesting because it's kind of a global feeling rather than a storyline, Isn't it? It's kind of, Yeah. You know, So you're thin skinned, You know. You know, You've got light coloring in your skin, You know. Is sensitive. Okay, So. . . That is uh physical trait, And it's also an emotional trait of a level of sensitivity. Spinskin. Now, It is actually of great value, Like Pramasuta is very thin-skinned. And it's. . . It's kind of in a way where this wisdom comes from. You see? So it's a good thing. It's just. . . It can feel like a liability in our culture. My feeling is it's like your conditioning. I mean, You were feeling the conditioning almost like a shroud, It feels like, You know? A shroud a shroud like that's the covering of a dead person ah do you know It's not quite. I mean, It's like the weight, But it's like a cutoff. Yeah, I can feel it's a cutoff. You felt. As a little kid, You felt a cutoff between. . . What you knew and what you were allowed to know, And you could feel the weight of the conditioning coming on. Yeah. Even as it was happening, You could feel it coming on. This dulling, Numbing. Energy that never felt very comfortable but it was even in your bed like so it's like you know this was rest time And even in your rest time, There was this discomfiture. And I think you've lived with that discomfiture in a way. And you're waking up. And so, In a way, It's like a relief to wake up. But at the same time. . . You will be. Faced with clearing this weighty, Numbing energy. Yeah, As time goes on. But it's interesting to me, There's no storyline. It's very physical and sensation. And so that feels to me that that's really connected to your gift in the sense of. I'm wondering if it's like Prima Suta where it is my body gives me a great deal of information that lets me get through to you guys. It comes in through my body, Not my head. How does that feel when I say that? It's almost like a little threatening to you, I feel like. Yeah in the in the sense like buttoning. Yeah, Something I don't understand comes in. Or I feel more than I want to know. Well, Yeah. Yeah no i can feel it it's like your head is threatened by the the probability that this cutoff is going to be illuminated and your head is going to lose its throne. You guys, Our heads are on our throne. You know, Our heads are enthroned. I mean, You're obviously uncomfortable with this. That's why you're doing, Working with Premisuda. But this is the state of most of us. Yeah. And I almost feel like that you were decapitated. In some lives. Yeah, You lost your head. You had your head cut off. I can feel it. So there's a whole level of kind of. There's that visceral terror from actually losing your head in even the metaphor of that your head is being threatened. So this is how complex it gets dealing with ourselves emotionally. There's so many different levels and layers impinging on something. But, You know, You have a lot of inner strength and it's your. . . Yeah you're It's sort of like you're waking up to the enormity of your journey in a way. And you will find the strength to continue. This head thing. Is going to take a while for you to understand because you're the eldest son. So there's a level that you're a little. . . Heady with that. Do you know what I mean? The oldest is more responsible. They're, You know, They're most like the, They take on the parental super ego a bit. Yeah, They're the responsible ones. Yeah. It's funny, I'm feeling that kindness to yourself is really, Really important. It's kind of like your next step. It's just kind of a kindness to yourself. Yep. Yeah, Please listen to this again after. Thank you. Yeah. And. . . It's like recognize that what I'm saying about the kindness is really true and it's. . . Also, Can help open the door to kindness to yourself as well. So I'm acknowledging what your. . . Beginning to. To allow and by speaking it It's making the door open a little bit more. Because you need this kindness to yourself to become the person you were born to be. You guys, This is what's so important to all of you guys. You will not get become who you're meant to be without kindness and compassion for yourself. You just won't. So please. Understand that. Take hold of that. It's not just an optional thing. This is the compassionate way for a reason. And I know it's very hard when our egos are being challenged, You know. This is all stuff that Pramasuta did just. . . On her own with the like bleary days and walking around going. . . What's the matter with me? So just remember this way makes it easier, Okay? Maybe uncomfortable. But it makes it easier. Yeah. Okay, Thank you. So it's Kali Das. Alidas, Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Good. Okay, Thank you. Thank you. I promise you that. Yeah. Who's that? Andrea. Oh, Andrea, Okay. Hi. Great one. How are you doing? Good. I actually just feel this is incredible. Just this last hour. Feels like a tight like my life is a tight weave and it's kind of like relaxing a bit right listening to everybody's yeah good this is it's beautiful and made this happen to all the people who listen too yeah you know it's helpful like it's helping me even thinking about my memories and things and just yeah i know it's like straight to the heart of things and when we this is emphasized when we deal with ourselves psychologically you guys the payoff is enormous because it is the most neglected thing We've got a school of psychology, But this is the psychology of the heart. And it's the most neglected thing. So when we allow it, Our journey can just explode. And that's what I'm, That's why I do this work. So thank you. Thank you, Andrea. Okay. So what's yours? I mean, I've told you before that my earliest memory is I was, Nobody else knows this, But I was when I was about one or possibly even younger, Because I know I couldn't talk. I knew I couldn't speak at the time. And I was in my crib and I could hear people downstairs and I knew my mom wasn't home. And I was put in my bed to, You know, Have a nap. And I had a full diaper and I was crying and crying and crying and no one would come. And I knew my mom wasn't there. She wasn't there. And I ended up falling asleep. And so that was my earliest memory. But I remember the dreams, But this kind of goes with the dreams, Which is kind of interesting. As everyone was talking, I was feeling this weave come in from my earliest dreams being about my mom dying. That my mom wasn't going to be there for me. And and uh and then also i guess dream. I was very young and it happened many, Many times. I would have my hands under my pillow and feel someone grab my hands or one of my hands or both of them. And it happened several times. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Did you want to say more? Just that I felt like. I could feel my. . . I guess what came in from hearing everyone, It's almost like it wove together the three things. Of feeling so like unsafe. Like just really unsafe, You know, And not feeling a sense that, I don't know, Like very shadowy, You know, Like that's what it feels like. Right yeah right right right right okay so First of all, There's a lot in here. And at the same time, I want to say, Like, It's, I want to just emphasize, It is no more shadowy than what Prima Suda had. Okay. You know, Part of you can go, Oh, It's so shadowy. It's so shadowy. Oh, I'm helpless. And that's even with your hands being held. You know, It's an image of helplessness. So I know that in you. And I kind of want to. Cut the cord that animates that because it's baloney it's If you want to, You know, I want to emphasize again, I mean, I don't know if you were here, But I've talked about that Pramasudu was. . . My mom was having nervous breakdown then my brother beat me up my whole childhood andrea I never knew when his punches was going to come. Okay, So I really want you to really get there is no difference between us. Okay, I'm not like the superhuman person who can do it. I'm just a person like you. Okay. And it's funny, I feel like I'm pounding on a shut door. Okay, The door is shut. And I'm hearing, You're too intense, Prima Suda. Yeah, Well, I get intense when. . . I get intense with denial. Okay. Okay, Good. Okay, Good. So this is the root of where we've had trouble is over denial, Sweetie. Okay, I just. . . Now, This is really uncomfortable for you, I know, But you are in extremis. What have you got to lose? And you're the opposite of a whim. Even though you might feel wimpy. And I can feel you saying, I want to be loved. Why are you doing this? Sweetie, I'm trying to get through your door. Because there's part of you that is so, Like I so get what you're talking about, The weave and this opening, But there is part of you. It reminds me a little of Saskia. It's a little bit like. . . Look, I'm going to do this part and no more. And don't bother me with the truth of things. I'm going to clear the truth in this bit but don't bother me with the full truth. Okay, That is what you're really saying to me. Okay, So how do you feel about that? A little empty. Yeah, A little empty. And maybe a little unloved. Yeah, I mean I. . . I think I felt that earlier too, Like just from saying that stuff, It was making me feel that way. Right. Also, Just a feeling of like not being actually. Kind of the opposite, Too. Not being able to love. That is our biggest pain, You guys, Is refusing to love. And it feels not able, But actually it's a refusal. And. I can feel like you're going, I've got no apparatus with which to deal with that. Like it's like you've got no receiving structure to help you compete, To help that compute. Okay, Good. Okay, Good. Right. So how do you feel when I say this? This is really sad. Right. Okay, Good. Okay, Now this is getting down to the sorrow. Of the separation It's underneath these dreams. It was underneath these dreams. You understand? Right. And your ego says, Don't feel it. It will kill you. And you see, It's the thing that would bring you into high good health. If you feel it. Right. Okay. Okay, Good. I'm feeling the beginning of a deeper willingness. This is the power of truth, You guys. We change when we hear truth. Yeah. If you do not run away, You just sit there. You will change. This is very good. Andrea. So one of the things with the dream about the. . . The poop. And, You know, It's about the little munchkin. With the poopy diapers. And so your experience and the. . . The dream, Like the core wounding, Is that nobody came. OK, And that is. Why like that's a reflection of your belief that like god may exist but not for you Okay, It's right there in the dream. You see, This is your responsibility to allow this to heal. Okay, Good. Good. There's recognition of this, That it's your responsibility. Yeah, Good. Okay, Now. The poop is. . . You know, It's the mud of the lotus. But it's an image of your separation. You see the. . . You know, There you are in your poop and nobody comes. And so it's sort of the image of somebody caught in separation and nobody's coming. Yeah. When our poops up. We're in separation. You see what I mean when our crap, Our crap is our separation. Right. Okay. There is a lot and you're not quite ready to receive this, But I hope you listen to this satsang, You know. Maybe even several times because Sweetie, You could. . . Get everything that Premisut is saying to you. Yeah, There's nothing stopping you. And it also, Poop is often in the dream books. It's often a symbol of money. So there's a little bit of thread of maybe part of it is You know, The whole thing about feeling supported by the universe, I don't quite trust that I'll be supported by the universe. I have to kind of engage my ego to earn money. I can't afford to just come into truth. I won't be able to feed myself. Right, Right. You crossed your arms. So we protect our hearts, Right. You know, Part of you loves me and part of you just, You know, You almost can't stand that I bring you closer to yourself. Like you almost don't know what to do about it. No, Sweetie, And I don't mean this as any kind of deflation. It's like. . . You know, You came in. Your dharma is to allow your integrity. It's like you will have to make a moral decision about it at some point. This part of you, You want to withdraw into tears and it's a sad story. It's hopeless. Listen, I cannot communicate to you how deep this hopelessness was in Pramasuda. Utterly, Utterly hopeless. It was only the calling on God. And my desire to serve humanity, You know, My desire to. Pick up my kids. Be their mother. To learn how to love. You know, As a little kid, I was very haunted by a negative figure, A ghost figure, And I think he was a negative energy. Because my family was so scared. That we were all haunted. OK, So I think this is part of where you get like that your hands were held. I think it was some kind of a negative energy that was attracted by the emotional climate of your family. Right. So what's stronger, Ama or Ghost? Always. Yeah. I'll tell you, Sweetie, This is just fear that you came in with. And it will just keep playing till you stare it down. Till you look at it and go, You're just a fandom. Just like Richard, You know, The witch started running away from Richard. Richard, That is the first time I have ever heard of somebody. Experiencing a healing like that in in their own life like my hat off but you did that Yeah, That's. . . It's very auspicious. So sweet one, Andrea, How do you feel? Well, Actually something lifted in me. It was like, Yeah, It felt like an inner strength. Something came in to say like, You're not a wimp. You can yeah you can transcend this like guys andrea is a hot shot business woman like i'm going like hello it's like Hello? Yeah. Right. And I know you're so sensitive. So even me saying that, You recoiled a little. And at the same time, Sweetie, I can't allow people's sensitivity to you know bar the truth it's sort of like the truth is the truth is the truth it's like 100 from yeah yeah yeah it's time right Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling like there's going to be some turmoil after this and that you will feel some. I want to say negative energies, They're not so negative so much as They. . . They keep your mind churning when you could have a lot more peace. Okay, And you need to tell them to FO and leave you. Yeah, You need to stand there and do what Richard did and just say, Hey, Get out of here. Because that's sort of the difference between you and me is I did that. And you can do it too. Any of you guys can do it. I have had things like that happen to me, And I have called on Amma. Okay, Good. I had a big figure on me that was full of armor one night. It was many years ago, And I just said, Amma. Help me. And it just listens. Good. And you can do it again. You know, When I was just meditating a few days ago, I felt you do an incredible expansion. On a soul level, Like setting in motion an incredible expansion. Okay, So that's part of why I'm talking like this because I already felt. That this expansion is underway. So I'm just underlying it and helping your mind. Helping to get your mind around it. I had that feeling too, About two days ago. Right. It was two days ago. And the only thing that I think needs real work is it's like, Or for you to see, Is this compartmentalization that, You know, Is how we're taught. And that there's part of you, It's sort of like 75%, You're sort of open. And then there's this other 25 that your ego does not want me to even address. And so yeah. So I'm also going to ask you to become more truthful with me. Like put words to more. More of this 25%. Okay, Good. And it's a profoundly safe environment. You know this. This is a joke. What a healing. You've known me 30 years. It's like you're not a child in your bedroom anymore. You know Amma? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Good. Okay. Say, I'm willing to grow. I am willing to grow. Good. Say, I'm willing to heal 100%. I am willing to heal 100%. Okay. How did you feel when you said that? Be truthful. I felt a little bit. The first one i felt unopened and the second one i felt a little bit of a Like I clamping down, Like I can't. Express I can't. Open as much to that. Yeah. So you just got. Data yeah you got It's like that was the 25% that's hiding and it's been outed. Okay. Okay, So it's all good news. So you guys, Please do not judge yourself. It's all good news. It's just giving you data. Please, If you get this, If you if you get the thing that it's just data, Then you are. Free of your ego in a really good way, Like in a way that your journey can, Speed up! So. . . You know, Pay attention, Notice if you're judging yourself and keep giving it to Amma. Okay, Good, Andrea, Good work. Like, You know, You're sturdy enough to sit through that. Thank you. One of those triple bypass heart operations. Yeah. So this is Prima Suta's divine child energy. You see, You guys? This is me at three. I'm speaking with the level of clarity that I saw at three years old. Yeah. And this is what you guys can do too. You can. Embody who you were at three and live it as an adult. And it's invincible. You see, I mean, The defenses are just melting as we speak. It's just. And it's all Hamas. Okay, So who's next? From Masuda. Yes, Michael. Hi. Good. I don't remember any dreams. But I do have an earliest memory. And I think I was about four or five. And we used to travel into the country. And my godfather had a little farm and a barn and straw. And so we used to go and visit him. And the memory I have is my sister climbing the ladder in front of me. And I'm coming up behind her and I'm really mad because either she got up first or she's too fast or I don't know what. And I dug my nails into her back and I scratched her. I really scratched her. And that's it. How high off the ground were you guys? Probably about five or six rungs. I was probably about five or six rungs high. How old were you? Four or five. And I think there was straw around the bottom of the. . . Okay. And you don't remember what happened. Um. . . My feeling is. . . That I didn't really get into trouble that much. I think I was told, You know, Don't do that. But it was like. . . It was like a real, It was like a power struggle and I think I won. Because I don't think I suffered any consequences, Or no big ones anyway, I don't think. So the feeling that you won is what you're feeling now. What I'm feeling more is I was very angry. And I was able to express it. So what do you think about it? I think it was an honest, Innocent child. It felt good, I think, At the time because I was able to express myself. Yeah. It's interesting. I'm getting a kind of feeling of hands-off, Pramasuta. It's. . . It's actually something that I've often felt with you. It's like even as you're asking for help, It's like there's a limit to what you really want to hear. And it's like, I'm keeping. . . Confined. And if I speak beyond the confines, It gets dropped. So I'm feeling that right now. With this whole story. That I'm not really allowed to say anything. Yeah. So how does it feel when you hear what I've said? A little disappointed, A little rejected. Right. But there's a level that it's a profound rejection of Pramasuta. An asking for, But a rejection of. I. . . I. . . Yeah i mean i can't feel it but No, And that's good. I mean, It's good that you're. . . You're just being, You know, You're just being real. There's no criticism, Michael, At all. With any of this. It's just it's self-realization training. This is, You know, You guys, It's like what happens is our needy egos want Premisuda to love them. It's very human. It's very understandable. But you guys, You know, You've. . . Been coming to Prama Suda for a while and have had body work and everything so there's a level that when I speak to you, I'm going to speak to you from a deeper level than with somebody I've never met, Maybe. Do you know what I mean? Because I've worked directly with your bodies. I've like. . . You understand? There's kind of a. . . Well, You come to me, So. . . Yeah, I can feel that's interesting with both of you. I can feel like you're right underneath each other. Of my phone. It's not wrong. It's kind of just the feeling that. . . You're wanting what I trying to. Trying to transmit that you're wanting it to come along. The levels that you want to receive at and the two things do not compute at all. It's a little bit like with Andrea, Where I said she's got no structure to receive what I'm saying to her. And then it changed as she. . . As we spoke she opened up a little bit or maybe more than a little bit. Michael, It's that you don't want to see yourself. It's like you're really stuck with. . . Where at your level of perception, And it's like the place where it's, You know, Walk a mile in your brother's shoes. It's that. That's the difficulty. I didn't understand that. Could you say that again? Yeah. Good. Good. Do you see you guys just the ego will not compute when it's the thing that we need to get. OK, So good, Michael. It's the your problem is to really get, You know, What Christ said about walk a mile in somebody's shoes. You know, Like. . . To know how to do that. That's what you have trouble doing. You want it all to come for your benefit. So even in the, You know, In your memory, It's like there's no visceral heart for what it was like for your sister to suddenly get her back scratched when she's just playing. So it would have come from at her back, A surprise. Hurt and and your your response was well i i didn't get in any trouble so i won it's kind of like This is the glitch. Yeah, It's really hard for you to admit this. It's like you built your ego on, Like, Just like the ladder that I want to be the first. And if I can't be the first, Then, You know. Somebody's going to suffer. It's kind of like, It's like that. It's sort of like my way's the highway. It's like I'm Michael. You know, And it's kind of like, Well, Michael, You gotta be able to put your feet in other people's shoes. And this is where you and I have really hit a wall because this work is key to that. Yeah. You know, I'm pretty sure that we were competing because we often did. We didn't get along. And. . . I do have a super competitive nature, And I don't think that's very good, And it doesn't really go all that well with this work, I don't think. Okay, So that's a bit miserable sinner. It's sort of like this whole work is outgrowing the ego. All egos are revolting, Michael. They're all revolting. It's like yours is not more revolting than most. They're all hideous. Yeah, You're going, I can't do it. I'm seeing you sitting in a concrete, Stuck in a stone cellar with no door. And you're sort of thinking like you're sort of in the thinker position and you're in despair and you're going, I can't do it. It's not just despair. It's kind of willful. And it's like, You know, Again, It's surrounded by concrete. It's a concrete in reality. It's a belief in concrete reality. I just want to tell you something. You know trees? When they grow, They don't. They, You know, They seem, The soil seems to produce them. But if a tree grows up into, I just read the scientific experiment and they grew this tree. In so many, I don't know, 160 pounds of soil until it was a fairly large size and they cut it down and the soil just weighed two ounces less. So. The tree took from the soil just two ounces and became this huge structure. You see, Like even our ideas of concrete reality, It's not concrete at all. The tree manifested. Your soul has manifested you to learn here. And it's your responsibility to open. To allow it. It's interesting because it's as if this story about the tree. . . Helped you it's like you've actually opened up a little bit. So how do you feel? Do you feel that or not? You don't have to. Don't worry. No. So how do you feel? Um, Um, I feel that I really want to open. I could feel that. That's real, Michael. That's real. Okay, That is good work. So how do you feel when I say that this is good work? Um. I feel emotional. And I feel that. . . Um. I'm not sure that I could get all around. I'm not sure that I could get around Um, All the tears that might come. Okay, So. . . It is by. . . Allowing the tears that you would get here. If you go around them, You will stay in your ego. It is the grief at our separation that heals us, You guys, Not another person. When we feel the grief of how separate we are, We heal into God. It is our God self that feels that grief. Okay, Good. This is good. I am feeling in you a deep recognition that you. . . Are a God-self and that you are beyond your idea of Michael. This is a quantum leap. But this is the only, It's along this lines, Michael, That you and I will be able to get along. Otherwise, You're just going to get the wall from me. And the wall you get from me is just the wall that you put up to your true self. And SAS gets the same. And for all of you, If I get Wallace, I'm just reflecting the wall that you've got going. You know. . . This is kind of what I feel like we all need is just somebody to go to the heart of the thing that's confusing us, Right? To speak it out and to love us anyway. Okay, We've got time for one more person, But I will arrange for another session like this for anybody who doesn't get their chance. I want to go. Yeah, Who's that? Maxine. Maxie. Okay, Maxie. It's a so sweet one. Yeah, Hi. Hi. Yashoda. Yashoda. Your name's Yashoda? What does it mean? It's the foster mom of Krishna, Yashoda. Oh, Right. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Mom of Krishna. Yeah, I have an early memory, Not memory, It's a dream about. . . I must have been like six or seven, I guess. And it came like many, Many times and it scared me really. Much it was like i was in front of a huge stair like a huge temple stairs yeah i would stay in front of it and knew I have to go there and I would be scared to death and wake up. And then I would be so scared. I didn't even go to my mom to get comfort. Like I didn't feel I could hold her and she could hold me. I would not go into my parents' bed. So I would just be scared. Yeah yeah yeah. And the second dream I had many, Many years was I was chased by a lion and I got killed. But the killing felt like a relief and like the truth. But that's weird, Me too. You know, Allah talks about how we need to be a lion on the spiritual path. Yeah, She does. So it kind of, It feels like. . . You know, A kind of dream in your future saying that you're going to get onto the. . . Spiritual path and it was like your ego would have to die but it was kind of relief because you could live like a lion mama says we have to live like a lion yeah Yeah, That's what came to me too when I thought about it. Like the lion and the. . . Yeah. How about the dream with all the stairs? What's your feeling about it? Well, It's also, I think, The fear of going up the stairs and doing the spiritual path. That's what came to me, That it's just scary and I don't want to do it. I didn't want to. Yeah. And then you have a name like Shoda, Because there are all kinds of Krishna temples around, Right? So you're the mother. Really? You're the mother. You know, You're stuck. I mean, You've got temples, Whether you actually go in them or not. You produced what the temple was. Dedicated to do you see what i mean it's in a way you don't have to do anything it's like you are that The stairs, I also feel this is, It's part of the temple, But I also feel like it's connected to climbing the stairs of like. . . Like doing this, Your training, Doing the stairs, Doing the steps to develop your career. Part of you is like, Oh, I can't do it. But then you do it. You know? The thing that strikes me is around being too scared to go to your parents. It's funny because I feel this in kind of you and Franca. It's kind of like a little bit like. . . Um The parent. Didn't really help that much in a way, You know, Kind of feeling of. Yeah yeah yeah i felt like she she wouldn't understand me and she couldn't get me at the level my fear was yeah like i think she would have comforted me but Not in the way I would have needed it. Right. Yeah. Yes. Right. Right. Right. Right. I can feel that as a little kid you needed, Alma. I can feel this. Oh, I wish you. You know, When we meet Amma, I have a, I know I want to say this. I'm getting like, You know, You're at the Ashram right now. So you're feeling Amma, But it's as if. I'm feeling like I'm almost going right into your Childhood too. Oh, The last Darshan I had the image too, Yeah. Oh, You had that in Darshan, That image? I had Darshan like four days ago. And it was a very long Darshan. I was very long in her arms. And when I was in her arms, I felt like I had the image of, Okay, I'm in Amma's belly. Then I'm a little baby. She's holding me. And then I'm sitting on her lap. And I think like until six or seven, She was kind of. . . Okay. And I'm just going to highlight this again, You guys. I want to spotlight the accuracy of this word. Just the reason is because if your egos are arguing with anything I said to you, Please understand that what I spoke to you was exactly at the same level of depth and accuracy as I'm speaking to Yashoda. About like in what I said about that Alma was going back to her childhood. I want you to see. How accurate and subtle this work is because if you see it you will receive it. I want you to receive it. It's such a waste. You don't receive it. A total waste. And it's a dharmic, You guys. The universe does not like it when we have an opportunity to receive love and we wall it off. It. It just makes things more intense for us for our life. The universe will turn up the heat. It is much safer. To get it when it's offered. And I want to spell this out because I have to. Yeah, It's about like under the heading of how revolting egos are and the tricks. Yeah, But I'll tell you, We just hurt ourselves. Okay, Good. Okay, Good. You know, It was very brave in a way not to. . . Run into your mom's bed and just put up with kind of you know what sustenance there was there was real bravery with staying with yourself Okay, I want to really spot like that. That was a brave little kid. Who stayed with the truth of things. You know, It wasn't very comfortable. She didn't really have the access to AMA now. But it is why you're able to receive AMA now so deeply without any detours. Do you see what I mean? Do you understand this? Because of the braveness I had as a kid already. Because of the braveness I had as a kid already, You mean? Yeah, Your willingness to just stay with the truth. Yeah, I'm not going to get any real comfort. There's no point. Like that is really brave because just having an arm around us can, You know, When a kid's really scared. You know a lot of kids would just do that. Right. It's like a connection to truth. Okay, Okay, Okay. Okay, Here we are. It's a connection to truth in you that part of you has been scared of your whole life. Yeah, That's what it is, Sweetie. That's what's behind the imagery. It's just a fear of truth. But you're moving very quickly and you're. . . You're seeing the truth. I mean, You are moving into truth pretty quickly. I want to see. Stay humble. Who knows? Sometimes we move into truth and then we get blocked for 10 years. So, You know, Just stay humble, Just, But get the heart of what I'm saying that it's this. You have a soul connection to truth. It's like truth is really important to you. It's like you came in. Around truth, Like. . . To, Oh yeah, I'm getting big shivers, To allow truth, To plan truth, To be brave enough to recognize truth. You're a little bit. . . Fudging on it just like it seems it's too enormous. Yeah, It's okay. You're young. It's okay. Just. . . But you know what it does for me is it explains this, Not kind of love-hate that I felt from you, But a little bit love-hate, Like to Pramasuta, You know? Like, Oh yeah, I love you, But oh, I don't want to listen to you. You know how it would play in the earlier years? Yeah. Right. But you have a huge love of truth in there that you're never going to be able to run from. It's you. It's you. Yeah, And it's kind of like you need truth, Like you need the air you breathe. That without truth, You just start feeling not good. Yeah, That's yeah. I know this yeah yeah You know, It's not a, That's a kind of a handy thing to come in with if you really want to make progress in a life, You know. You can see the wisdom of why we came in with particular focuses. This has been so rewarding, You guys. So how do you feel? I feel like I have to digest. Like it's somehow I know, But somehow the hugeness. Yeah it needs to be digested yeah so yeah And it's also part of the integration of Ama, Of your. . . I mean, This is what Pramasuta suggests very respectfully, That perhaps it's an integration of that Ama going, You know, The. . . You being born and the child. You know, Just that in that Darshan. Part of an integration and it will also continue. Yeah. Do you see how, Like, The truth is not far away? It's us, You guys. It's not far away. We're all actually built on truth. We're all made out of truth. We're all made out of unconditional love. It is our true nature to be in truth. And just turning up. This takes a lot of guts to sit and listen to me, Like when I'm madly bringing the scalpel out, Like my hat off. I don't know. We're getting on for an hour and a half. Is there somebody who's desperate to go? Let me sit down. Thank you. Okay, Good. Yes, We might as well. Good. Yay. Good. Thanks. Can I see your picture at all? I'm sorry, It's not working. I don't know why in my handy. I just tried, But I'm so sorry. No problem. So, Frank, I'm glad you came forward. Yay. Yes. Yay. I just had a really interesting story while my sister was talking to you. Can I share this right now? Because it's kind of related. And it's probably interesting for Maxi, Too. Axie was talking about her dream where she didn't want to go to my mom. Yeah. To our mom. And I'm right now sitting outside and it's getting cold and I already had some shivers while I was listening to Andrea and everything. Also because it's cold, But also it really touched my heart. And suddenly, While my sister was talking about, Or you were talking about her not going to our mom for comfort, My mom came and gave me a blanket. I didn't ask her. I didn't see her at all. And she just got me a blanket. And now I'm so warm. And I was just crying right now. Yeah, That's how the universe is working. Yeah. Oh, I'm so touched. Me too. We are at the big family gathering right now. So Maxi is in India and we are, The other part is all here. So this is just amazing how it's all connected. It's like everybody's in the satsang, You know? Yeah, Everything is one. And little one came and gave her a kiss just now. That's so interesting. Yeah. Franca, So how are you feeling? Oh, A big relief on my heart. And also it was like, I get the, I, Yeah, I was asking for comfort or for, I could feel the same as Maxie that our parents weren't really present for us, But this just healed part of it. I feel like it's like a, Like an image of we are, We have this support. We just have to trust it and it's going to come, You know? Yeah. Yeah yeah there's a big pressure off my on my belly that just lifted and my heart is open so yeah thanks so much yeah wow good you're very good at embodying like that Yeah, It's a particular strength. Mm-hmm. Did you have a memory, Like a dream or an early memory? Yes, Yes, Yes. There came a memory or I have a memory that always came when I was sick and had fever. And it was always the same that usually I was alone in my bed and was suffering from the fever. And then there was some sound like a lot of bees or something really in my ears. Louder and it was like a big dark cloud that really scared me and I just can remember that I always was in my bed I knew this will come when I'm sick like this and it scared me really really much right and I was alone so it's always I just remember when I was in fever I was alone and it's just yeah yeah yeah so Yeah, Again, You're vulnerable and nobody's there. You know what I'm getting? Just a really strong image of mental static. And that is your cross as an adult, Is the amount of mental static. What is mental static? I don't know. Yeah, What is mental static? I know you wouldn't get it. You know what static is? Like it's hard or something static or interference like if you've got a radio you're listening to a radio and there's a lot of static it stops you from being able to really hear what the person is saying it's like the noise of the machine kind of gets in there and disrupts the Yeah. Yeah, I can feel part of you. You know, Your ego would have preferred just to withdraw without me asking about your. . . Early dream like you would far have preferred that um and it's part of you keeps It's like with this mental static. It's sort of like this noisy box that is your head. Part of you, You don't, There's part of you that doesn't want to really face it because you kind of trying to live with it because you, It's like you, You don't see how it's possible to face because it's so everywhere. And in your, You know, In the being sick, The imagery of being sick, Of being too vulnerable, Not able, Not strong, Not strong enough to deal with it. And yeah. Yeah. I can feel how you get lost in your. . . The static of your thoughts, The interference of your thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, The doubting and the distrust. And it's like not feeling safe enough to feel the sorrow of it. So you could come into peace. Okay, It's, You know, It's good just to hear this. It's like, And listen to it again, Because it's just truth. And truth will set us free. You know, It's just like when we. . . When we get what we're doing. It actually dissolves. It's like. Just some of this static will dissolve just as you admit it. It is your big problem. Your mind is kept so busy. By distrusting thoughts, Kind of. Yeah, That's what I was facing last couple of weeks, Yeah. Not knowing what to do about it and just distrusting myself on it, Yeah. I know. I know. And you're, You know, You can. . . You know, I want to say like you. You see, When we're distrustful, It's like we even distrust people who are trying to help. And it's kind of like, And, You know, There is a time when we allow ourselves to be helped. And that time just comes. Like, So there's no pushing it or rushing it. Do you know? It's like I used to think Abraham didn't really get me, But he really got me. I just didn't trust him enough to really see this. But we can't force ourselves to trust. It's sort of like. If we realize that we're just going to have a terrible life if we keep it going. Then we tend to let it go. But if it's working for us, We keep it. You're strong enough. It's a bit like, I feel this thing with, Like with Andrea, It's like to remind you that you're strong enough. It's like. You're one tough lady, Actually. Like you're strong enough to allow healing and there's no rush. And the danger with what I'm saying to you is that you'll feel bad about yourself and I don't want you to. Please don't. It's like you're beautiful. Anka, There's part of you that's so instinctively with this work that, You know, You just get it right away with the body. Yeah, It's just it's just that, You know. Actually, I realize kind of what I want to say to you is. See, You can get stuff with your body, But if your orientation isn't towards really healing. . . You can get stuff with your body and you still go around in circles. Do you see what I mean? It's like pouring milk into a dirty container. It's. . . As your intention strengthens. Towards healing. I feel like you're going to realize that your destiny is to heal. Okay. It's going to become clear to you that your destiny is to heal. And that's going to help a lot. And it may be just your way that stuff just dawns on you gradually. See, I don't want to make your way wrong. It isn't. I can feel it. It's going to dawn on you that your destiny is to heal. And as that happens, You will purify. And as you purify these changes that happen in your body, Like you take in the energy, They will be far bigger gifts for you. Because your orientation will be pure, Will be to more purity. You guys, If we don't have purity, It's a real desire. We stay, Our container stays a dirty container and the milk gets contaminated. And then we go, Oh, God doesn't really exist. You see, This is what happens. We have to look. At what we're doing. What is our intention? Are we really intending purity or do we just want to be a little more comfortable? Okay, Franca, How do you feel about what I've said? How are you feeling right now? Yeah i have this pressure in my belly again so but it's um yeah it feels like it's lifting or it's showing itself. But I also felt that I was in my head trying to understand. So, Yeah, What you were just saying. You can listen to it afterwards and even a few times. Because I want you to really remember what I said to you is your destiny is to heal. Okay. Yeah. And when I, When I heard this, I just felt like, Okay, That takes off some pressure of me. So yeah, That's yeah. Yeah. Right. I know. And that pressure on you, This is this mental static. Where you take responsibility and try to like fix yourself endlessly. And it's far beyond you. It's like on almost shoulders. Oh, Please get that. It's so key that you realize that it's on almost shoulders. Like any attempt for you to heal yourself is this mental static. And it's why you go around in circles. And why you make so much space with me. Like as to like never contact me. Yeah, Because I will interrupt your mind, Which is wanting to just keep you going around in circles. You're going, I'm not ready yet, Prima Suda. That's okay, Franca. You don't have to be looking. You're working, You've got kids. No pressure. I just, I feel great relief at having, Being able to spell this stuff out and that you have access to it. If you ever want to listen to it again. And the main thing I want to communicate is that it is your destiny to heal. It's not on your shoulders. That is so crucial. For you. And you know what? It was really crucial for Premiseuta, Too, Because. I had a lot of the same mental static you do. And I, You know, I got nowhere trying to heal myself. It was, I just gave up, You know, I just went, Oh, I guess it's always going to be like this. And I just lived my life. And then I started making progress, You know. You're going, I'm not ready, Prima Suda. It's okay. It's okay. You don't have to be ready, Sweetie. This will have changed you. So Alma's running the show. So And, You know, You're doing fine. This is the journey, You guys. Sometimes we make huge leaps. Sometimes we stay. Somewhere in a plateau for like 12 years. And then in the next three years, We might do 30 years worth of growth. You can't. You know, Never give up on yourselves. Krenka, Could you say. . . To me out loud, You are a good friend of mine, Premasuta. You are a good friend of mine from Sudan. Yeah. Say, You are a good soul friend of mine, Pramasuta. You are a good soul friend of mine from Sudan. Yeah, So how do you feel when you said that? I can feel some pressure on my throat. And yeah. Put some pressure on my shoulders. And your shoulders, Yeah. Again, Yeah. It's something you have to do, You have to get, And you don't. You don't I feel like I'm going to have to leave you caught in your prison a little bit still. And what I feel like I've done is I've opened a tiny chink of light. By saying it's your destiny to heal. And you're going to see this light come in to your regular thought processes, And you're not going to be able to argue with it. Okay, Because it's truth. And it will get bigger. And that's just where you are. And it's okay. It's not bad. It's okay. It's all good. Yeah, I'm glad I spoke up. So that's all good. Yeah. Yeah i am too i am too and this light even as we're talking It's getting brighter and brighter, And you're seeing this outline of this dark spot where you've been stuck, And you couldn't see an exit. It just was. How it was, And this has particular meaning for Michael and for Andrea. As well. Yeah. This almost, You know, These awareness satsangs feel like live poetry. Do you know what I mean? It's a lived poetic experience. And you know how poetry goes to the truth of things and it bypasses the mind. It's just. You know, I just feel like I've been a poet in other lives and that this life, It's a, It's a, This lived poetry. Yeah. Okay. My great gratitude to all of you brave souls, Because. This stuff, You know, Makes us all makes our ego pee our pants. The worst nightmare for the ego and all of you guys have done good work and i feel like a shift happening. In the broader world as well, Because we know everything's one, So it's not wasted. And Saskia, Cheer up, Sweet one. You're adorable, Okay? And you're a very brave woman, And you've put up with worse from me. So, You know, It's just a very big journey. Okay, I love you enormously, You guys. Bless your dear hearts. Bye.