I invite you into an idea that is nearly 400 years old.
But deeply relevant to our lives today.
The philosopher René Descartes came to a point in his life when he realized that many of the things he believed to be true had never really been examined by him.
They had been given to him.
His family had taught him things.
His religion had taught him things.
His culture,
Teachers,
Authorities had taught him things.
And eventually,
He recognized that he had built much of his life and understanding upon foundations he had never personally examined.
Descartes decided that,
At least once in his life,
He needed to question the foundations.
His goal wasn't criticism.
It wasn't to believe nothing.
It was to discover what remained when he became willing to honestly examine what he had always assumed was true.
And that gives us our question.
What happens inside us when something we have built our life upon becomes a question?
The beliefs beneath our lives.
When we hear the word belief,
We may immediately think about religion.
But our lives are governed by all kinds of beliefs.
A good man provides.
Don't show weakness.
If I work hard enough,
Everything will work out.
I have to take care of everyone.
Conflict is dangerous.
People.
Can't really be trusted.
My values come from what I accomplish.
I should be further along by now.
Good things happen to good people.
This is what a husband or father is supposed to do.
This is who God is.
This is who I am.
Some of these beliefs may be true and life-giving.
Others may have protected us at one point in our lives,
But no longer serve us.
And others may simply be things we inherited and never thought to question.
The important thing is that these aren't merely ideas floating around in our heads.
We build lives around them.
We choose careers because of them.
We enter relationships carrying them.
We raise our children through them.
We understand success and failure through them.
Sometimes,
Even our bodies organize themselves around them.
So when one of these foundational beliefs begin to change,
It can feel like much more than just changing our mind.
It can feel like the ground beneath us is moving.
When life questions our beliefs.
Most of us probably don't wake up one morning and decide.
Well,
Today I'm going to disassemble my worldview.
Usually,
Life does it for us.
Someone dies.
A marriage changes.
We become fathers.
We lose a job.
Our bodies fail us.
Someone we once trusted betrays us.
We encounter someone whose life doesn't fit the categories we've been given.
We experience something spiritually that doesn't fit our theology.
We fail.
We fall in love.
We experience grief.
We encounter beauty.
And suddenly something we thought we understood doesn't quite fit anymore.
A question appears.
What if what I've always believed isn't the whole story?
That can be liberating.
And it can also be terrifying.
What does questioning feel like?
I invite you to move with me today from philosophy into experience.
Descartes approached doubt primarily through the mind.
But what happens when we experience doubt with our whole selves?
When a deeply held belief begins to loosen,
We may experience fear,
Anger.
Relief.
Freedom.
Shame?
Excitement.
Loneliness.
Confusion.
Sometimes we may even experience betrayal.
Why didn't someone tell me this?
If this isn't true,
What else isn't true?
And underneath all of that may be an even deeper question.
If I no longer believe what I once believed.
Who am I now?
Invitation into silence.
I invite you to pause,
Become quiet for a moment.
Take a breath.
In through your nose.
And out through your mouth.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Notice your body.
Allow yourself to remember.
Something you once believed deeply.
That you eventually began to question.
Don't try to explain it.
Don't decide whether changing your belief was right or wrong.
Simply remember the experience.
What happened when the certainty began to loosen?
What did you feel?
What did you fear?
What did you lose?
What became possible.
And where.
If anywhere,
Can you still feel that experience in your body today?
We'll pause for 30 seconds of reflection.
I offer you three reflections.
After each reflection is given,
Take a few moments.
Allow a word,
Thoughts,
Ideas,
Pictures,
Experiences to arise.
You may want to do this with your eyes closed.
If you become overwhelmed in any way,
Simply open your eyes and reorient yourself to your room and pause this meditation.
Number 1.
When the certainty cracked.
Remember a time.
You once deeply believed something about yourself.
God.
Masculinity.
Relationships,
Success,
Or life that you eventually began to question.
What happened.
That caused the certainty to crack.
You may find it helpful.
After a few moments of reflection.
To write down your experience.
Tell a story rather than simply explaining what you believe today.
Number two.
Living through the uncertainty.
Describe what it actually was like to question that belief.
What did you experience emotionally?
Relationally.
Spiritually.
Or physically,
When you could no longer be certain.
What did you fear?
What did you grieve?
What,
If anything,
Felt freeing?
And lastly,
What are you willing to question today?
What belief?
Assumption or story about yourself.
Or life might be asking for your attention today.
What would it be like to hold it as a question rather than something you have to defend?
Not,
What belief do I need to get rid of?
But rather,
What am I willing to become curious about?
After personal reflection.
Write down.
Your response.
A closing reflection.
Perhaps maturity isn't replacing all of our old certainties with new certainties.
Perhaps maturity is becoming the kind of person who can remain grounded,
Loving,
Curious,
And present even when some of life's deepest questions remain unanswered.
There are beliefs worth holding.
There are traditions worth honoring.
There are convictions worth living by.
But perhaps there is also something sacred about occasionally opening our hearts and asking,
What is true.
What is mine?
Does this still give life?
What has my actual experience taught me?
And then having the courage to listen.
A closing blessing.
May we have the courage to question without becoming cynical.
May we have the humility to admit when we do not know.
May we honor the beliefs and traditions that have carried us this far.
Without requiring them to remain unchanged.
May we grieve.
What must be released.
May we hold gently what remains uncertain.
May we discover that questions do not always lead us away from the truth.
Sometimes they lead us more deeply into it.
When the familiar ground beneath us begins to move.
May we discover a deeper ground within.
May we become people who do not need certainty in order to remain present.
Who do not need answers in order to remain curious.
And who do not need agreement in order to remain loving.
And may we have the courage,
At least once in our lives,
To examine what we have been given.
To listen deeply to what our lives have taught us,
And to discover for ourselves what we know in our hearts our bodies,
And our bones to be true.
May we go in peace.
May we remember.
We are deeply loved and may we remember that we are not alone.
