Truth Serum Episode #4: True Love Is Self-Love

In this episode of Truth Serum, Tally Hayden, best-selling author, life coach and Manifest Mentor, gets real about relationships, love and self-love. In 2006, the trajectory of her life was altered by an autoimmune illness that kept her in bed for almost two and a half years. Tally’s faith put her on a quest to find healing and create wholeness for her own life. This led to her current soul work as a wholeness and life coach, and understanding the multi-facets of manifesting your life.

Transcript

I'm going to record on this computer.

Awesome.

Welcome,

Everyone,

To Truth Serum,

Your daily dose of truth,

Debunking BS realities and illusions that we have subscribed to.

My name is Melissa Binkley,

And I'm your host.

I am a sole life and business strategist,

And my mission is to show you how to transform your life and business by bridging science and spirituality and debunking the current belief systems that have us all trapped,

Learning to walk the path of surrender and grace instead of fear and control.

It is time to raise social,

Sustainable,

Conscious awareness and spirituality and create a conscious revolution.

We need more leaders,

Healers,

Creatives,

Light workers,

And speakers,

And coaches to just really live into their purpose and create global impact with their mission.

And through connecting with amazing leaders like the one we have today,

We will reach $1 billion and create a shift in the world,

Creating more love leaders.

And today,

We welcome our love leader,

Tally Hayden.

Tally is the founder of We Rise Coaching.

She's a manifest mentor.

Ooh,

We're going to love that.

A certified life coach,

A public columnist,

Solpreneur,

Wellness advocate,

Sales trainer,

And professional speaker.

She's a lover of adventure and sunsets,

And she was born and raised in Alaska as the youngest of eight children.

Ooh,

I'm going to have to ask her something about that.

She grew up fishing,

Hiking,

Camping,

And playing basketball and softball in one of the rainiest climates in the United States,

In Juneau,

The capital of Alaska.

Her tenacious loving spirit thrives by helping people to connect to their power within and especially by helping women reconnect to their soul's purpose.

She has a successful business background as a former COO,

Owner and creator of a historic bed and breakfast,

Sales and marketing executive,

And a consultant trainer,

Election supervisor.

She's got it all.

She's done it all.

She's married to this amazing man that she calls her dreamy guy.

Welcome,

Tally.

Wow.

Is that me?

Holy cow.

Oh my god.

You're freaking amazing.

Hello.

Oh my gosh.

Well,

Hey,

I'm just trying to keep up with you there,

Girlfriend.

It's so good to be here,

Miss Melissa.

I love it.

I love it.

Thank you for that beautiful,

Beautiful words of who I am.

Well,

Thank you for joining us today on Truth Serum.

And we're going to just dive right in.

I want to know what shot of Truth Serum do you want to deliver to our audience?

What BS reality do you want to debunk and demystify today for us?

Well,

There's so many.

But the one that comes to mind is pretty much what I address in the book that we are co-authors in.

And it's really about the fairy tale,

Where the woman is saved or the man,

And that our Sleeping Beauty or Snow White,

Where we are,

The reality is that we grow up with that love outside of us or that happiness outside of us and that we need to be saved.

Hell's bells,

We need to be taught we are saved ourself.

And that's what I'm passionate about,

To start to work with the younger generation,

The younger kids,

For us to create better fairy tales that has us saving ourselves,

Has us tapping more into loving ourselves first,

Because that's where happiness comes from.

And I know you know what I mean because of your background and all that you've been through,

That if we just tapped into that instead of the fairy tale that we all grew up on,

If we tap into loving ourselves and saving ourselves,

Then we'd have a different world.

Oh,

Wow.

Awesome.

So today is about the truth of true love,

Debunking the reality and the mystical idea of the fairy tale.

So I would love to know,

Tally,

Because I believe that love is such an incredible topic.

And the truth,

When we talk about true love,

Love in itself,

Is we don't experience it or find it elsewhere out there.

But I know that so many people,

That's the path that they think that's where they're going to find it.

So Tally and I are co-authors in an amazing book that's coming out on September 26,

2017,

Women Who Inspire.

It's going to be a number one bestseller,

I promise you.

And in that chapter,

Excuse me,

Tally talks about her experience and how she came to this truth.

So Tally,

Can you share with us your story,

Your masterpiece message about how you came to understand and realize this for yourself?

Well,

I think it was a number of things in my life that brought me to it.

But I think one that really changed the trajectory of it but first of all,

I think getting married and then having that fairy tale belief in the back of my head and then getting divorced,

Because that wasn't part of my plan to get divorced,

And then get remarried and really not recognize what was going on with myself in that first marriage.

But then I get remarried and my husband chooses to take his life.

Then I move into life and I got really sick in 2006.

And I think that that putting me in bed for 2 and 1 1 1 1 2 and 1 2 and 1 2 and 1 2 years where I had to do a lot of soul-searching,

That's really what brought me to where I am today and doing what I am,

Because I was so out of my power.

I was so disconnected from my heart essence and my inner wisdom that it took me to have an autoimmune disease,

Or autoimmune illness,

I like to say,

To be able to wake up to who I'm really meant to be.

And so living outwardly,

Looking for the answers outside or for someone to save me,

It's that tapping into that inner wisdom.

What you say in your chapter,

You say my illness was threefold,

I learned.

I was not just physically ill,

But also emotionally and spiritually ill.

Tell us a little bit more about that,

Because I feel that that is,

That physical signs of illness are the last layer,

Is the last thing that shows up.

It's the two by four of the universe I talk about.

In my experience,

I say you can transform through two ways,

The two by four,

Which is the universe saying whack and hit you upside the head by a two by four,

Or through the path of grace and surrender.

And most of the time,

Because we haven't been taught how to go grace and surrender we decided to take the two by four and physical illness is a two by four.

And again,

I find it fascinating that you came to the discovery also that the illness was just a cover up for something much deeper.

So tell us about that.

Yes,

I mean,

That's a really good question,

Melissa,

Because again,

You're not taught that to listen to your body your body gives you signs when you are out of harmony,

When you are disconnected.

And so I had signs all the way from,

You know,

As a young kid.

What were some of the signs that you're paying attention to?

Well,

I got sick a lot.

You know,

If the flu bug went around,

I got it.

I,

You know,

I experienced eating too much sugar.

So I got worms.

I would get migraines.

And so it was someone caught a cold.

I caught that cold.

So there was signs there,

But I didn't know it.

You know,

I wasn't,

You know,

Hadn't read across someone to be able to.

Nobody tells you,

Nobody says,

Hey,

You know,

Your illness,

But they say,

Go to the doctor,

Take a pill,

Do this.

They know out there,

At least not back then.

Now I think it's starting to change.

But we were growing up,

There was not a single person,

Especially when all the things with medications and the,

You know,

The pharmaceutical industry took off,

Especially in the 70s and 80s,

Right?

Like,

Oh,

Nobody was telling us,

By the way,

Maybe there's something else going on that it's an energetic,

It could be a vibrational,

There's something else in your soul,

In your spirit that's happening and it's showing up physically.

Right,

And so when I got so ill,

I have to say,

Kind of when I hit 20,

I was given a book by one of my sisters.

And before I tell you what that book was,

I read it for everyone else.

Oh,

Let me,

Oh,

So and so,

So could,

Oh my gosh,

I need to tell Matt about that.

Oh,

You know,

Again,

Fricking sign.

I am taking care of everybody else but myself.

So totally right there,

Giving my,

You know,

My power away.

And so when I got ill,

I had gotten that sign to go get that book.

And that book is,

You Can Heal Your Life,

By Lillian Hay,

Who recently crossed over.

Hallelujah.

But that book is,

Continues to be one of my Bible and it made the connection for me that what I was experiencing obviously was mapped to all these emotions that just kept being layered and layered and layered on.

So my first thing that came to surface through my illness was I got a parasite.

And parasite is about giving your power away.

And of course,

Like my life didn't flash in front of me,

Like,

Oh,

Hey,

Am I giving my power away?

Okay,

Well,

I had to go through and start to discover that.

I gotta talk about that in my chapter about discovering that I was doing that.

And so that's when it really woke me up to start on a whole different path.

And so that is,

I'd say,

For the physical,

You know,

You got those physical and you're so,

You're always taught,

Or the folks around us,

Oh,

Go and treat the symptoms versus treat the cause.

And by the grace of God,

I got led to a holistic medical doctor who knew how,

Or got at the cause.

And so when I got that parasite and couldn't get well,

I went to nine doctors mainstream and they couldn't figure it out.

They labeled me with all sorts of labels.

But I knew in my heart,

I was like,

I know I can become whole.

And so when I found this holistic doctor,

Which my Mary Kay lady is the one who hooked me up to it,

But I knew that I had come home and that it was gonna be a journey for me to get to wholeness.

And so that's that other piece,

That emotional and physical.

So it's not just so much of the emotional and me giving away my power,

But also,

You know,

Mindset and thinking,

But then also me being totally disconnected from my heart center,

Which is where I feel,

That's where your soul is,

That's where you connect spiritually when you are connected to that heart.

And so I was clueless,

You know,

In all of that.

I felt like maybe I just had a shell of a body that I was just barely functioning and didn't realize that until I got thrown in bed.

And we sometimes,

For you,

There was several signs.

There was the first marriage with the infidelity and the divorce.

Then there was the second marriage where your husband took his own life and then you got sick.

It was like the universe was sitting there.

You know,

You say in your book,

You say,

My journey provided me with gold nuggets and with fool's gold too,

To connect me to my true calling as a life coach and a manifest mentor.

And one of those things was,

You know,

It was like the universe gave you one opportunity and didn't see that sign,

You know,

And then the next one and then the next one.

And I think that many times we,

Everyone has that.

We have all of these different signs and these things going on.

But one of the things that you said earlier that really stuck with me was about the savior,

Like the Cinderella,

The sleeping beauty,

You know,

Like that idea of a happy ever after and somebody else saving you from your own stuff.

Share with me more about how you turned into saving yourself and what you had to go through mentally to let go of the idea of the fairy tale and the happily ever after to finally find actually,

You know,

In your life,

Not only your success as a coach and a mentor,

But love too.

Right.

Well,

I think in terms of saving myself,

Obviously it took a while because you know,

You have to wake up to that,

To just knowing that you have this essence inside of you,

This wisdom and this power,

And you just have to tap into that.

And so I think when it was really,

Really started on it,

Was going to nine doctors and they giving me a different answer for whatever was going on and a different pill.

And then once I started throwing it up,

You know,

I got the message like,

Tell you're toxic.

And this is not the way to go.

You can heal.

And I'm like,

Well,

Okay,

Where's that coming from?

But I'm like,

You can heal.

Like there is,

You just gotta get to the cause.

And I didn't even know what any of that meant,

But I just kept kind of getting these messages,

You know,

Just keep,

You know,

Pushing forward.

And so when I- I feel quite about the messages because I find that fascinating and my same thing,

Because a lot of people that are on this are looking to change their lives,

Right?

Or are going towards this journey.

When we say messages,

They're like,

What is that?

What is that really?

What is that the messages?

What,

Cause we all get them in different ways.

I know what my signs are and yours.

What were some of,

How were you receiving the messages?

What was coming for you?

Well,

For me,

It was,

Well,

A number of things.

You know,

I would see certain numbers like 444,

Not even,

I'm so disconnected from that kind of stuff.

Or I would see like,

Someone's talking to me and I'm like,

Whoa,

Okay.

Is that me or what?

You know,

What's going on?

Or I would get a feeling that this is,

You know,

Don't give up,

This is what you need to do.

And I would then,

You know,

Get a vision or,

You know,

Just something to,

That was like a memory or that was,

My parents,

You know,

Were passed on.

Of course they still are passed on,

But I would get,

You know,

A vision of them.

And I don't normally,

You know,

Like I'm not a person who dreamt a lot,

But you know,

I could feel kind of a presence or I would kind of,

Out of my eye go,

Oh,

Is my dad here?

You know,

And kind of see her,

My mom.

And so it was all those kinds of things that,

You know,

Started for me to start listening,

You know,

That there is,

To me,

That's part of that spirituality side too,

You know,

To be able to be connecting into,

You know,

At that way.

Does that help?

Did I answer that?

Oh yeah,

Absolutely.

No,

I mean,

I think I love to hear because there's so many,

You know,

I see signs I get,

You know,

Now that I'm in,

Now that I've stepped into the,

What they call the flow or whatever you want,

You know,

This magic of the universe and into that space.

I mean,

I now notice them all the time,

Everything around me,

Like yesterday I was at an event and I looked down at my phone and it's 11,

11.

And I just sat down in my seat and my seat was one 11.

Right,

I was like,

I mean,

You just can't,

You can't make this shit up.

If I think back then,

What really got me really thinking is that I would see unusual things,

Animals to me in the neighborhood.

Yeah.

A hawk with land right outside my window.

Just,

There was a railing,

I had a little deck,

Which I wasn't,

You know,

Getting out of bed that much.

But that's when I started,

I'm telling you this,

I'm getting the truth.

And so that would start to get those goosebumps,

Which is the truth.

Wasn't sure at the time what that was,

But you know,

You're,

You know,

You're in bed and I can at least get on the internet and start,

You know,

Looking at that,

But the animals.

Oh,

Yeah.

You can see that and a bat.

And you know,

Both of those are,

You know,

Are obviously messages for me.

And I just got the message,

Hey,

You're on the right path.

You know,

Don't get,

You can have homeless.

And so that was really,

That was it.

But I would also get,

You know,

Those words that would come in.

And I said,

I'm gonna listen to it,

You know?

And it's just like after the ninth doctor.

And I just said,

You know,

When I remember walking out of that visit and go,

This is not it.

There's no way that anyone could help me when they,

I fill out,

You know,

10 pages of stuff and they don't even look at it.

How do they know that there is,

You know,

I am unique and I've gotta find someone who I can connect to that can get to,

You know,

Whole body wellness.

And I was,

Again,

I was just new to all of that kind of stuff and that's when I,

You know,

Got led to the holistic doctor.

Beautiful,

Yeah.

I,

Going back to the animals,

There was one time I was in Yosemite and the,

You know,

The universe was definitely trying to get the message.

So not did I get one raven,

I got 30.

I was like,

All right,

I'm listening.

What do I need to know right now?

Like,

Like all around me.

And I was like,

Wow,

Like,

When you start paying attention to start listening to the universe,

When they really want you to know something you just get even more and even more.

I'm,

Yeah,

I'm fascinated by your holistic journey because I myself,

You know,

Went through a holistic journey.

You know,

I was a health coach for a while,

Brought me into where I'm at now,

But healing my own,

My own experiences and,

You know,

And for me,

What I found through the journey of getting my body better was when I started to finally heal my body,

What it came down to for me was when I started looking in the mirror,

Because I didn't like myself.

Like I just didn't like myself.

And so I thought I was healing,

You know,

This all these,

Cause I had autoimmune also,

I had,

You know,

Skin conditions,

Like all this stuff.

And then when I finally started healing myself,

I was like,

Oh,

I just,

You know,

When you no longer are focused on the physical,

Then you gotta deal with the rest of this shit,

Right?

Like,

Oh,

All of a sudden everything else starts coming up and you're like,

I don't have to worry about this piece anymore.

Was that a similar experience for you?

Well,

Very similar because,

You know,

The parasite uncovered that I had heavy metal toxicity and both of those are about giving your power away.

And so it's like,

You know,

They go,

You can't really heal if you don't start to look at the emotional side or you won't heal if you don't,

You know,

Start feeding that.

And so it's interesting because as you all know,

It's really never ending.

Once you decide to take this path,

Everyone,

Audience,

Ladies and gentlemen,

It never ends.

We all thought,

Oh yeah,

I want to be awakened.

I'm taking the spiritual path and all of a sudden it's like the light comes in.

Oh,

Instead it's like,

Here's the next lesson.

Here's the next one.

Like here's more.

But there is a way to step through it in grace and surrender where it becomes beautiful instead of it being painful all the time.

Exactly.

And that it doesn't have to stifle you and then you start to work through like,

Oh my God,

This is a beautiful thing.

Thank you for that awareness.

And I'm not gonna beat myself up because I'm worthy and I love myself.

But back to your point,

Because that's when I really woke up when I got that Louise Hay book.

And of course I had read it a couple of times but for other people.

So then for the first time I read it for myself but went to that section.

There's a section where you do mirror work that Louise Hay is so awesome about and you walk up to the mirror and you say,

I love you and you keep saying,

I love you,

Tally.

I love you,

Tally.

And I can remember,

You know,

I'm like,

I got this.

Of course I love myself just like you.

And I walk up to the mirror and I say it about 10 times and then all of a sudden I went,

Holy frick.

I do not love myself.

I was just like,

Oh my gosh,

Just saying that,

You know,

Remembering,

I'm getting the shivers.

I was so dumbfounded.

I was like,

Oh my gosh.

That was definitely a huge moment for me to realize that.

And then,

I mean,

It took the one line that I would just choke up on,

I love and approve of myself.

I could not,

I mean,

I would say it but I could barely get through it and often would break down in tears.

But you just,

You know,

Fake it,

She says,

Until you make it.

And I just kept doing it and kept doing it and kept doing it and daily,

Daily,

Daily.

And then,

You know,

Then you wake up and you go,

Oh my gosh,

I do love myself.

I am worthy.

I am,

You know,

A value.

I am beautiful,

You know?

And so you just,

You know,

Over time,

You start to step into that.

Yeah,

I have done,

In the past when I had my conferences that were based on,

You know,

Women and transformation,

We would do a mirror work piece.

And I mean,

I've seen some of the most incredible breakthroughs and some of the most,

And people also literally pass the mirror and say,

No way,

I can't do it.

Just,

You know,

And the power of the mirror work sounds so simple,

Right?

It sounds so simple.

But the truth,

If you wanna get to true love,

Is that you've gotta love yourself and mirror work is by far one of the simplest,

As in you don't need anything but a fucking mirror,

Right?

So one of the simplest but one of the hardest ways to get there,

But I'll tell you it's transformative in itself.

Thank you for sharing that.

You know,

I don't talk about the mirror work very often anymore,

So wow,

Very powerful.

It really is,

It's just,

It's powerful.

And even in the last year,

I got led to,

Cause I continue to do mirror work,

I got led to pulling out,

And I'll see if I can grab this.

Oh yeah.

But this,

I went and found a young me.

Oh yeah.

And from now,

Cause I have it here,

And I grab it and I walk to the mirror,

And now I say this with me.

This is my inner child.

So now I'm speaking to my inner child,

And so I say it to her,

And then I pull it away and I say it to me,

Because that's,

You know,

Which I know you know,

The healing of that inner child is what we need to get to and continue to,

Because we've got layers,

And that's why to your comment that,

You know,

Obviously I don't wanna scare anybody,

But you'll open up such a beautiful journey as you continue to heal,

And you're never arriving because you don't wanna arrive,

Because the journey is amazing as you continue to pull back these layers of really being able to step into your worthiness and into your love,

And it's so amazing,

You know,

When those things come forth,

And they do sometimes still have to knock me over the head,

But.

They do,

They do all of us sometimes,

But you keep moving forward in that grace and that experience.

So now that you've had all of these beautiful lessons,

You have created your truth serum in finding that love is for you,

That there's no fairytale.

So what is your mission in this life?

What are you here to,

Because I know you're not just,

This isn't just a journey for yourself,

This is something that's brought you into a journey of helping others.

And yeah,

So what is your mission,

And what are you here to share with the world?

Well,

I definitely feel at this point,

In my chapter,

Or where I'm at today,

Very passionate about connecting women,

Some men,

But predominantly women,

To their power source within.

I feel that the more and more we can get connected to that,

We can then really rise to a whole different level within humanity.

And so I see that,

And I see a lot of people hurt and disconnected,

Or their mothers and their children have left,

And now what do I do?

And they just don't know themselves.

And so that's where I feel like,

Because,

That's been my whole journey,

To become the me that I was meant to be.

So that's where I'm really tapped into that,

And then I feel like on a humanity end,

I really feel like I am that spirit in action,

Really creating that,

Creating a path really for humanity to rise up vibrationally.

And so I think it's so important for us to get more connected into that vibrational energies,

So that we can live consciously from a whole different level because once we start moving up and tapping more into love,

To joy,

To gratitude,

To peace,

It moves us up on that scale of consciousness.

And then we raise people up around us,

Even when we're not in the same room or the same house,

But we're connected in that way.

So when we are working on creating this conscious society and helping others to rise up and what you're focusing on,

Many people believe that it takes like a complete overhaul.

I believe it takes small little steps one by one.

So what is one ritual practice or thing that you cannot live without,

The five minute solution?

So if somebody wants to start somewhere and maybe the first five minute solution that if they don't ever do anything else,

At least they're doing this one thing,

What do you recommend to our audience?

Okay,

Well,

You already mentioned one thing about going to the mirror,

I have a second thing,

But you know,

How much important it is to just tell yourself you love yourself and not cut off the negativity that comes after that.

You just say,

I love you.

But the thing that I do every day,

And it's the thing that really keeps me in a good flow,

Especially with everything that's going out along in the world,

Is all I do is I just take my hand,

I either put it on my heart or I put it on my solar plexus,

Which is a blow the chest.

So either way,

You know,

You could do,

You know,

One hand on the heart and one on the solar plex,

And I just shut my eyes and I envision my heart and I actually take a breath in through the heart,

Out through the heart.

And just a couple of those breaths,

Focusing on the heart,

In through the heart and out through the heart,

Just centers me.

We teach setting our intuitive intelligence training as part of our emotion coding that we're using with trauma victims all over the world.

So I love that that's something that you do because that speaks directly to what I believe in too.

Oh,

Thank you for that.

Oh yeah,

And it just is.

I mean,

We wanna get,

You know,

Like you said,

The trauma,

We're all so disconnected from that heart and that's where our inner wisdom is.

Yeah.

And you know,

It just can continue to lead us versus get into the crazy chaos,

Which,

You know,

I'm really good at doing that too.

So that's,

You know,

It's important.

So if you could do one thing in this world before you pass to the next realm,

So would I,

You know,

I don't say die because I believe that there's something else greater than that,

But what would you do?

It doesn't have to be business related or mission related or can be,

Or maybe it's a,

You know,

Something,

A trip or an adventure or whatever,

But one thing that you've gotta do before you go.

So it could be a trip or adventure or anything?

Yeah,

Yeah,

It doesn't have to be specifically business or mission related,

But it could be.

But I mean,

You know,

Just one thing that,

You know,

You can share with everybody that you have to do.

Well,

I think for me,

For my family,

You know,

Who is struggling through ailments is I would love to get them all together and take every single one of them to warm country,

You know,

Someone warm and bring in,

You know,

Love leaders like you and a few others and allow them to be able to experience what I've been experienced through my journey.

So it can help heal at so many levels for them.

And so I've just,

I've always had that saying,

Okay,

You know,

That's part of my drive is to be able to continue to tap in for that abundance and prosperity because I would really like to give them this gift to be able to tap more into their heart essence and not hear it from me,

The younger sister,

But to tap into the experts like you to be able to,

You know.

Gotta hear it from somebody else.

When it comes to family,

You know,

You gotta hand them over to someone else and then because they're tired,

They don't wanna listen to us.

No,

Exactly.

So to speak,

You know.

All right,

Tally,

Before we go,

We have one more question,

But I want you to share with everyone how they can reach you,

What is the best way to find you,

And give them all the information so that our audience knows the way that they can connect with you.

Okay,

Well,

The best way,

Because I have all my information on my website and it's everything.

You can get,

You know,

Connect to me through social media,

Put my email,

My phone number,

All that.

You can do a 20 minute free coaching session,

You know,

There,

But it's www.

Tallyhayden.

Com.

So that's T-A-L-L-Y-H-A-Y-D-E-N.

So Tally,

Like a Tally something up,

Hayden,

H-A-Y-D-E-N,

.

Com.

Awesome,

So tallyhayden.

Com.

Please go over,

Take advantage of our 20 minute coaching session.

I'm gonna go sign up right now.

I'm like,

Wait,

Hold on,

Let me get on my computer.

I'm in.

So our last question today before we go is,

So Tally,

You're 110 years old,

You're on your death bed,

And there's a reporter,

He comes in,

And he's gonna be writing your epilogue,

And he's gonna be writing your obituary,

And like all of this information for everyone.

And if you had one truth that you could leave for all your friends,

Family,

And humanity to know,

What would you say?

What immediately comes to me is I'd say,

Always,

Always remember,

Love and giggles wins.

Love and giggles wins,

That's what I would leave with.

I love it,

Love and giggles wins.

Thank you so much,

Tally.

Thank you all for listening to another episode of Truth Serum,

Your daily dose of truth and BS debunking of the realities that are out there.

See you in the next episode.