Bury the old you and awaken who you're becoming.
The version of you that needs it.
Take care.
OK,
I want to start today by asking you a question.
It might sound A little strange.
Is there a version of yourself that you've completely outgrown?
But for some reason you're still keeping alive.
Think about that for a second.
Maybe it's the version of you who consistently needs everybody's approval.
Approval.
The version of you who doesn't believe they're good enough.
The version of you who's always putting everyone else's needs first.
Maybe it's the person who is afraid of speaking up.
The person who always expects things to go wrong.
The person who keeps returning to some unhealthy relationship.
Or maybe it's the version of you who keeps saying,
One day I will change.
One day I'll be confident.
One day I'll finally do what I want.
But that day never seems to arrive.
And here's something I want you to consider.
What if becoming the person you want to be isn't just about creating something new?
What if it's also about saying goodbye to someone you've been for a very long time?
Because sometimes the hardest part of transformation isn't becoming someone new.
It's letting go of who you've always believed yourself to be.
And that's exactly what we're going to do today.
We're going to have a funeral.
Not for a person.
Not for your memories and certainly not for your worth,
Okay?
We're going to have a symbolic funeral for an identity that no longer represents who you want to be.
We're going to acknowledge it,
We're going to thank it,
And then we're going to give ourselves permission to move forward without it.
Welcome to the Identity Funeral.
Who do you think you are?
Let's talk about identity for a moment.
When someone asks you who you are,
What do you say?
Maybe describe your career,
Your relationship.
Maybe a little bit of your personality,
Your achievements,
But what about the things you say to yourself when nobody's listening?
I'm an anxious person.
I'm terrible with money.
I'm always unlucky in love.
I'm not very confident.
I'm just not disciplined.
I'm the person everyone depends on.
I'm always the one who gets hurt.
Have you ever noticed how easy we turn our experiences into identities?
There's a big difference between saying,
I've experienced rejection,
And saying,
I'm someone who always gets rejected.
There's a difference between I've struggled financially and I'm terrible with money.
There's a big difference between.
I sometimes feel afraid and I'm a fearful person.
One describes an experience,
The other describes who you believe you are.
And when you repeat something about yourself for long enough,
It can start feeling like a permanent truth.
But here's the interesting part,
Okay?
You are not obligated to remain the person your past taught you to be.
You can have a history of struggling without identifying as someone who must always struggle.
You can have an experience of abandonment without believing you're destined to be abandoned.
You can have.
You know,
Made mistakes without deciding you're a failure.
And you can have spent years behaving a certain way without believing that behavior defines your entire future.
The past explains some of your patterns.
It doesn't have to decide all of your possibilities.
Why keeping old identities alive?
Now,
Here's where things get interesting.
Why do we hold on to identities that make us unhappy?
Why would somebody continue seeing themselves as powerless,
Insecure,
Unsuccessful,
Or unworthy?
Well,
Because sometimes an identity serves a purpose,
Even an uncomfortable one.
Maybe you become a people pleaser because keeping everyone happy helps you avoid conflict.
Maybe you become the strong one because you learned that nobody else was going to take care of you.
No one's mine.
Maybe you become the perfectionist because making mistakes once came with criticism and rejection.
You became the person who doesn't trust anyone because someone you trusted deeply hurt you.
These patterns may have developed as ways of coping.
And at that,
At one point,
They may have helped you.
But here's the question,
Are they still helping you now?
Because something that protected you 10 years ago actually might be limiting you today.
Imagine someone who learned that to stay quiet,
Okay,
Because speaking up was discouraged.
As a child,
Silence might have helped them avoid conflict or get in trouble,
But as an adult,
That same silence might prevent them from asking for what they deserve.
Or imagine someone who grew up believing that hard work,
Incredibly hard work,
Proved their worth,
Okay?
That belief may have motivated them to accomplish things,
But now they can't rest without feeling guilty,
And their health is suffering because of it.
They can't enjoy success,
They can't simply exist without needing to achieve something.
And maybe they become so attached to being the person who struggles,
That they don't know who they are without that struggle.
And that's what I want you to think about.
Who would you be if you stopped identifying with the very thing you're trying to overcome?
Who would you be without the story,
Without the label?
Without the role you're playing for so long?
It's an interesting question,
Isn't it?
Because sometimes we say we want a different life,
But we keep introducing ourselves to the world as the same person.
The emotional attachment to the old you.
Now,
I want you to take this a little deeper,
Because letting go of an identity Listen,
It's not easy,
Okay?
Sometimes it can feel like you're losing a part of yourself.
It's attached to your ego.
Even when that part has caused you pain.
And maybe you've spent your entire life being the caretaker.
And now you're trying to establish boundaries,
But suddenly you feel selfish,
Or maybe you've always been the quiet,
Agreeable person,
And now you're trying to become,
You know,
More confident.
But the moment you speak up,
You feel uncomfortable,
Almost like you're doing something wrong.
Because you're behaving differently from the identity you've practiced for years.
And your mind often prefers what's familiar,
More so than your mind,
Your ego.
Even when the familiar isn't particularly helpful.
This doesn't mean you're incapable of change.
It means that change requires practice.
And sometimes it also requires a little bit of gravy.
Because you might be saying goodbye to the version of yourself that helped you survive difficult experiences.
You might be letting go of roles.
You've played for decades.
You might even be disappointing people who benefited from the old version of you.
That can feel uncomfortable.
But discomfort doesn't automatically mean you're making the wrong decision.
Sometimes it simply means you're doing something unfamiliar.
You're growing.
So here's what I want you to understand.
You don't have to hate the old version of yourself to move beyond it.
You don't have to criticize them.
You don't have to be ashamed of them.
And you don't have to pretend they never existed.
In fact,
I want you to do the opposite.
I want you to honor them.
Because whatever that version of you was dealing with,
Whatever they believed,
Whatever choices they made,
They got you here.
And now.
From this place.
You get to choose differently.
The funeral begins.
I don't know why I'm happy about a funeral,
But sure.
Okay,
Now we're going to do something usual welcome.
Okay,
So we're going to have a funeral.
And yes,
I mean that obviously symbolically,
But you know what?
Let your imagination run wild.
Okay,
So I want you to imagine that there's an old version of yourself standing in front of you.
Maybe it's the insecure version.
The fearful version,
The people pleaser,
The person who never felt good enough,
The person who always needed permission,
The person who believed they had to suffer to deserve happiness.
Okay,
So just take a moment and picture that.
What do they look like?
How do they carry themselves?
What do they believe about the world?
What are they afraid of?
What do they keep telling themselves?
And most importantly,
What are they?
Preventing you from experiencing today.
Maybe they're preventing you from taking risks.
Maybe they're keeping you in a relationship you've outgrown.
Maybe they're convincing you to play small.
Maybe they're telling you that you're not ready,
Not capable,
Not worthy.
Now,
I want you to imagine looking at this version of yourself with compassion.
Not anger or judgment,
Pure compassion,
Because this isn't an enemy.
This is a version of you that developed.
For a reason.
And today,
We're simply deciding that they no longer need to be in charge.
Write the obituary.
Okay,
So now I want you to grab a piece of paper and a pen.
And I want you to write something at the very top.
The identity I am laying to rest.
Okay,
Again,
The identity I am laying to rest.
And underneath that,
I want you to describe the version of yourself you're ready to release.
I'm going to give you a few prompts,
Okay?
You can pause this video and take your time,
Of course.
So first,
The old version of me believes.
The old version of me believes.
And finish that sentence.
So maybe they believed they're not good enough.
Maybe they believe that love always comes with pain.
Maybe they believe success is for other people.
Maybe they believe their needs don't matter.
Okay,
Whatever it is,
Take your time.
Next.
The old version of me is afraid of.
The old version of me is afraid of.
Rejection,
Failure,
Being alone,
Being seen.
Disappointing people.
What is it?
Next.
The old version of me keeps doing.
The old version of me keeps doing.
Maybe they keep procrastinating.
Maybe they keep saying yes when they want to actually say no.
Maybe they keep comparing themselves to other people.
Maybe they keep choosing situations that reinforce an old belief.
So what is it?
Next,
The old version of me keeps tolerating.
This is a big one.
The old version of me keeps tolerating.
What have you been accepting that no longer you want to accept?
Disrespect,
Core boundaries,
Poverty,
Negative self-talk.
Constant exhaustion,
A life that doesn't reflect what you actually want.
And finally,
Complete the sentence.
I no longer need to be the person who I no longer need to be the person who I am.
And of course,
Finish that sentence.
And of course,
Guys,
Be honest with yourself.
Because this is the identity we're lying to rest today.
Okay,
So now underneath all of that,
I want you to write a short goodbye letter.
And I'll give you an example,
Okay?
Dear old me,
I know why you existed.
I know why you were afraid.
I know why You tried so hard to protect me.
You did the best you could with what you knew at that time.
And I want to thank you.
Thank you for getting me through the experiences that shaped me.
Thank you for trying to keep me safe.
But I've grown now.
I've learned.
And I'm ready to make a different choice.
I no longer need to live according to your fears.
I no longer need to repeat your patterns.
I no longer need to carry the same story about who I am.
I honor you and I thank you.
And today I release you.
Once you've done that,
I want you to take a moment,
Read what you've written out loud and notice how it feels.
Maybe you feel emotional,
Relieved.
Maybe you might feel absolutely nothing.
Okay?
And that's okay.
There's no correct emotional response to this experience.
The purpose is simply to acknowledge what you're choosing to leave behind.
The release ritual.
Okay,
Now comes the ceremonial part of our workshop,
And I want you to approach this as a symbolic act,
Okay?
We're going to give the old identity a proper goodbye.
So for this ritual you can use a piece of paper you just written on,
You can tear it into pieces or if you have access to appropriate outdoor setting you can do it safely of course and legally you can burn it.
And then,
Of course,
You can bury it,
Okay,
Literally.
So whatever you prefer.
So never burn,
Obviously,
Paper where it's unsafe,
Guys,
Especially indoors.
A lot of you people have done burning rituals,
You know how it goes.
It doesn't go well,
Okay?
So if you're gonna do it that way,
Make sure that you put it in like a kitchen pot or something like that.
Trust me,
You're gonna thank me later,
Okay?
So just make sure that you do this safe and do not let the flames unattended.
Tearing up the paper can be also just as powerful,
Okay?
So it's up to you,
Whatever resonates with you.
Again,
It's not the fire that creates the change,
It's the intention behind the actions.
Now,
Before you release the paper,
I want you to hold it in your hands.
And I want you to imagine that this paper represents the identity you've been caring for.
All those beliefs,
All those fears,
All those limitations,
Those stories about who you're supposed to be.
Take a slow,
Deep breath and say these words with me.
I honor the person I used to be.
I acknowledge the experiences that shaped me.
I thank the version of myself that helped me survive.
I am no longer required to live by the same fears.
I release the beliefs that no longer serve me.
I release the patterns that keep me small.
I release the identity that no longer reflects who I am becoming.
I give myself permission to grow.
I give myself permission to change.
I give myself permission to become someone new.
And then when you're ready,
You're going to tear up the paper or burn it.
And you can do it as a ritual.
You can put flowers,
Make it an actual funeral,
Whatever you want to.
And of course,
Then bury it.
And as you release it,
Imagine you're releasing your attachment to those old labels.
You're not destroying your history.
You're not erasing your memories.
You're simply deciding that the old story no longer gets to write every chapter of your future.
The ritual is complete.
Take another slow breath.
Notice the space you just created.
Be still,
Be quiet.
Because now we're going to decide what belongs in that space,
The reaper.
Well,
Here's something I want you to remember.
Every ending creates an opportunity for a new beginning.
And while we've just said goodbye to an old identity,
We're not going to leave you st.
.
.
You know,
Standing here wondering who you're supposed to be.
Okay,
We're going to create the next version,
The next vision.
So I want you to take a fresh piece of paper.
You know,
I like these pieces of paper and pens.
And at the top,
You're going to write.
The person.
Becoming the person I am becoming.
Now I want you to imagine the version of yourself who no longer lives according to those old beliefs.
Who are they?
How do they think?
How do they behave?
How do they handle difficult situations?
How do they treat themselves?
How do they believe they're worthy of?
Let's say you're releasing the identity of someone who constantly needs approval.
Your identity might be,
I am someone who trusts my own judgment.
I am someone who can disappoint others without abandoning myself.
I am someone who respects my own needs.
Or maybe you're releasing the identity of someone who believes they're incapable of success.
Your new identity might be,
I am someone who takes opportunities even when I'm afraid.
I am someone who learns from mistakes.
I am someone who follows through on my commitments.
Now I want you to finish these sentences.
The person I'm becoming believes.
The person I'm becoming believes.
It could be somebody who no longer tolerates the person I'm becoming no longer tolerates.
In fact,
Let's make that a problem.
The person I'm becoming no longer tolerates.
Next,
The person I'm becoming chooses.
The person I'm becoming chooses.
And finally,
The person I'm becoming gives themselves permission to.
The person I'm becoming gives themselves permission to.
And finally,
Finally,
There's one more.
From this day forward,
I am someone who.
From this day forward.
I am someone who.
.
.
And I want you to make that last sentence very powerful.
Not because it needs to sound impressive,
But because it needs to mean something to you.
This is your declaration,
And unlike the first piece of paper,
I want you to keep this one.
Put it somewhere you'll see it,
Read it in the morning,
Keep it beside your bed.
Make it,
You know,
Put it in your phone,
Wallpaper if you want to,
Whatever helps you remember the person you're choosing to become.
The first act of your new life.
Now here's the part that matters the most,
Okay?
Because I don't want you to finish this workshop feeling inspired for 20 minutes and then go straight back to your old patterns,
Okay?
We need to make this O real.
So I want you to ask yourself one final question.
What would the new version of me do in the next 24 hours that the old version of me wouldn't?
Just one thing.
Maybe the old version of you was afraid to say no,
So tomorrow you practice setting boundaries.
Maybe the old version of you consistently procrastinated.
So today,
You take the first step on something you've been putting off.
Maybe the old version of you was afraid of being seen.
So you share your work,
You speak up,
You put yourself out there.
Maybe the old version of you will leave.
They didn't deserve rest.
So you allow yourself to rest without guilt.
Whatever it is,
Choose one action.
And then do it.
Because here's the truth.
You don't create a new identity simply by declaring it.
You begin building it through the decisions you make.
And every time you behave in alignment with that new identity,
You're reinforcing a different story about yourself.
Will you always get it right?
Of course not.
Will old patterns come back?
Probably.
But that doesn't mean the ritual failed.
And meet your human.
And you're learning.
So when you catch yourself returning to an old pattern,
Don't panic,
Don't criticize yourself,
Just ask,
Am I making this choice from an old identity or my new one?
And then choose again.
That's how you begin creating lasting change.
So let the old you rest.
Before we finish,
I want you to imagine something.
Imagine that five years from now,
You look back at this moment.
And you realize that today was the day you stopped defining yourself by your past.
The day you stopped calling yourself incapable.
The day you stopped believing you had to be everything to everyone.
The day you stopped treating all fears as permanent truths.
The day you finally gave yourself permission to become someone different.
Not because everything changed overnight.
Because you made a decision.
And then you started acting on it.
You don't have to hate who you are,
Okay?
The old version of you deserves compassion.
They deserve understanding.
They deserve gratitude for the things they helped you through.
They don't have to lead your life forever.
Some identities were created to help you survive particular chapters.
That were never meant to become your entire story.
So today.
We honour the old.
We release what no longer serves us.
And we welcome the person you're becoming.
