So today I want to talk about Metta,
Loving kindness,
But I want to approach it a little differently.
Usually,
When we talk about meta,
We talk about extending loving kindness towards ourselves and towards somebody we love.
Towards a difficult person and eventually to all beings.
But what would it mean to practice loving kindness?
Like loving the world.
Not because the world is perfect and everything is good,
But just loving the world as it is.
So I want to begin with a passage.
From Annie Dillard.
She was a writer and a poet who passed away last week.
And she writes,
The Chinese say,
That we live in the world of 10,
000 things.
Each of the 10,
000 cries out to us precisely nothing.
I love the phrase,
The 10,
000 things.
The things we love,
The things we don't love.
The things we notice,
The things we overlook,
The 10,
000 things are everything.
The person we disagree with,
The news that comes across our screen.
The bird that's outside the window.
The body that's aging,
The beautiful sunrise or the sunset.
Frightening diagnosis,
A memory,
A thought.
These are the 10,
000 things.
And every one of them is asking for our attention.
And then yet Dillard says,
They cry out to us precisely nothing.
Doesn't that just sound so very Buddhist?
The world is constantly presenting itself to us,
But it doesn't tell us what it means.
It tells us,
You know,
It doesn't tell us how to respond.
The world doesn't tell us what to fear and what to cling to and what to reject.
Our minds,
Our minds do that.
Our conditioning does that.
We encounter something and almost immediately the mind begins to organize around it.
I like this,
And I don't like that.
This is dangerous,
And this is safe.
It's going to be OK,
Or this is not going to be OK.
And before we know it,
We aren't really experiencing the 10,
000 things anymore.
We're experiencing our relationships.
To the 10,
000 things.
And so much of our suffering happens just right there.
Because the mind has this remarkable capacity to take what is happening and then turn it into a story about what it means.
And this really happens particularly when we're frightened.
The mind can be very good at finding evidence to stay afraid.
We actually see what confirms our fear and anticipate what can go wrong.
So fear can become kind of a groove in the mind.
And this is where I really think the meta practice becomes much more than a meditation technique.
Metta is a way of training the mind,
Not forcing the mind to be positive,
Not pretending that everything is okay.
But developing a different relationship with what we encounter.
So.
.
.
In this essay,
Diller goes on to write,
The silence is all there is.
It is the alpha and the omega.
It is God's brooding over the face of the waters.
It is the blended note of the 10,
000 things.
You take a step in the right direction to pray to this silence.
And even address the silence.
To world.
Praying without ceasing.
Praying without ceasing.
For me,
This is where the practice of metta begins to really open up.
Because what of matter?
Becomes a kind of prayer without ceasing.
Not necessarily like a prayer with words,
But a continual orientation of the heart.
A continual turning towards what is beneficial,
Towards kindness rather than cruelty,
Towards understanding rather than immediate judgment.
Towards connection.
Rather than separation.
Again and again,
This turning,
You know,
Because we're always practicing something.
The question isn't whether the mind is being trained.
It is.
Every time we rehearse resentment,
We strengthen it.
Every time we rehearse fear,
We strengthen it.
Every time we tell ourselves that someone is an enemy,
We strengthen the separation.
And conversely,
Every time we practice kindness,
We strengthen the capacity for kindness.
Every time we pause before reacting,
Would create more space.
Every time we remember that.
Another person or the person in front of us is also a human being just trying to navigate this life.
We soften the habit of making them into an object,
Into an other.
Every time we meet our own pain,
Our own suffering.
Without hatred.
We strengthen compassion.
And this is why I think that meta is a ceaseless practice.
Not because we should walk around all day feeling loving.
That's just not realistic.
Of course,
There will be irritation and fear and judgment.
And the practice is not to eliminate those things.
The practice is to notice where the mind is going and to gently begin again.
And we can use the traditional phrases if they resonate with us.
The traditional metaphrases are,
May I be safe,
May I be peaceful,
May I be free from unnecessary suffering.
Or perhaps,
And this is my way,
We create just simpler phrases for ourselves.
May I meet this with kindness.
Whatever is happening.
May this be met with kindness.
Whether it's a person or a difficult email,
May this be met with kindness.
An argument with someone we love,
May this be met with kindness.
Fear about the future,
May this be met with kindness.
Our own mistakes,
May this be met with kindness.
The 10,
000 things,
May we meet them with kindness.
And it doesn't mean that we don't act.
Loving kindness is not passivity.
Sometimes kindness means setting boundaries.
Sometimes kindness means saying no.
Sometimes it means speaking a very uncomfortable truth.
Sometimes it means protecting someone.
Metta doesn't tell us exactly what to do,
But it does change the place from which we act.
And I think this is especially important when we're afraid,
When we're frightened.
Because fear narrows the field.
Fear says,
Protect yourself and get away.
Fear says something terrible is coming.
And Metta doesn't necessarily make fear disappear.
It does give the mind another direction to move.
It says there is fear here and I can meet the fear with kindness.
There's another human being here and I can remember their humanity.
There's a world here I can't control.
How can I participate in what is beneficial?
How can I keep my heart open without requiring the world to be different?
You know,
It's a really deeper practice because we don't get to choose the 10,
000 things.
We don't get to control what arrives at the door every day.
We don't get to determine what other people will say or what they'll do.
But we do have some say in how we meet what arrives.
And that meeting is where the practice lives.
So praying without ceasing.
Practice.
It can mean practice without ceasing.
Not meditating without ceasing.
That's not what I'm suggesting.
Or feeling peaceful without ceasing.
Or loving everyone without ceasing,
That doesn't seem realistic.
But simply returning.
Without ceasing,
Returning to the body,
Returning to awareness,
Returning to kindness.
In this way,
We're returning to the heart.
To the 10,
000 things that are always here.
The practice is to have the presence of mind to ask,
How do I want to meet this?
Can I meet this moment in a way that moves the world however slightly?
In a direction of greater kindness.
We're not separate from the world.
That we're practicing loving.
We are one of the 10,
000 things.
And so when I practice metta toward the world,
I'm also practicing Metta towards this life that I am a part of.
It's not perfect.
I don't even understand a lot of it.
And it doesn't seem fair a lot of the times.
But just this astonishing,
Heartbreaking,
Beautiful world,
The 10,
000 things.
And perhaps this is what it means to pray without ceasing,
To keep turning towards life.
To keep opening.
As best we can.
And the direction of the beneficial.
And when we forget,
And we will forget.
To simply just begin again.
May I meet this with kindness.
May you meet this with kindness.
May we meet this world with kindness.
And may that practice.
Become a prayer without ceasing.
So I offer this for your consideration.
Thank you.
