Fear

There are two kinds of fear we will be looking at, the fear we are trying to become free from, and the fear that we want to listen to. There's fear that is motivated by attachments, greed, hatred, and delusion. And the fear that arises from our wisdom, our love, our care, the healthy fears. Fear is worthy of respect and that doesn't mean that we give into it but respect means we give it a second look, that there's something there to learn.

Transcript

So this week we're looking at fear and there are two kinds of fear we'll be looking at. The fear we're trying to become free from and the fear that we want to listen to. There's fear that is motivated by our attachments by wanting by not wanting and by being confused and the fear that arises from wisdom from actually care and love the healthy fears. So we we want to look at our fears the fear in ourselves that causes harm to others and causes harm to ourselves to see and be mindful and to know when we're about to cross the line into fear that arises out of greed and wanting or out of hatred and delusion. And sort of distinguish between these two. It's not always clear you know they're not separate. Often there's a mixture of wisdom with confusion or a mixture of greed with generosity. It's not so easy to pull them apart. And fear is often motivated by forces of greed forces of not wanting of hatred and confusion of the deluded mind. Sometimes when there's a lot of anger or self-righteousness in our our way of being if we look a little bit deeper fear might be underneath it. And if we can see the fear then it's a whole different way that we work with it. Then we work with the fear. That's the primary thing and the anger or the hostility. That's just a symptom. It's like a messenger. Sometimes these forces of greed these forces of wanting of not wanting of confusion cause the fear. You know we want something so strongly and we're afraid of not getting it or we're afraid of losing. You know we hold on because we love that person that thing so much we're afraid of losing it. So that's the aversive cause of fear. So to start to understand this and see it more clearly how do we meet fear when it's there. I believe that all of us just about all of us will have fear of some kind whether it's healthy fear or unhealthy fear or a combination of both. And with fear I think it's really important that it should be respected. Respected doesn't mean that we give into it but respect means we give it a second look. Like there's something to be learned in the fear. Whenever there's fear it's a message. Whenever there's fear it's an indication that something needs attention. And fear has been pretty constant companion in big and small ways in my life. You know from the fear of growing up with a lot of unpredictability alcoholism violence volatility. There was the big fear for my safety and the small kinds of ways the fear of how I was perceived by others. You know both have their roots in a deep fear of rejection. And I've looked at this you know so I really encourage people to spend some time getting to know and working with those everyday anxieties that we have. The small nervousness that happens throughout the day and try to understand well what's going on here. So to the best of our ability we put aside our reactivity enough so we can really be present and see well what is this. What is this experience. And it's a little bit more complicated with fear because fear is has its own kind of reactivity. So when fear arises we try not to be too reactive to the fear and just be present for it to study it. And one of the ways to begin to understand fear that's helpful is shifting our orientation. So from thinking of fear in terms of I am afraid I have fear. You know you change it from I me the difference that I am afraid is kind of like all of me is afraid. It's identified and defining ourselves. I am afraid. But if we say I have fear you know instead of limiting ourselves that all of who I am is afraid that's a limited orientation of ourself. But if we view it that I have fear or there is fear here then it's not the whole picture of who we are. So we're switching to I have fear or there is fear here. It's a strategy not to be over identified with it or caught in it. So to study our fears and be able to kind of hang out long enough with it to respect it long enough so that we can start to feel and sense well what's going on here. There is fear here questioning and reflecting on it. You know what's happening with my fear. And then you can start to see well is there any greed any wanting that's associated with it any not wanting underneath it what's underneath it what's underneath that really needs our attention. So to look at our relationship to fear how do we meet it. What do we do when there's fear. And one of the long term goals for mindfulness practice is to is to meet our fear very simply just allowing it to be there but not allowing it to be there in the way that controls us. It's just seeing it clearly that the fear is here and it's part of who we are but it's not all of who we are who we are is the awareness of what's happening. So just to be simple and relaxed and not be so troubled by fear to learn how to actually get comfortable with it rather than fixing it or getting rid of it or solving it. And so maybe when we have the fear what it needs but I found that my fear needs it needs to feel safe like it needs to feel safe that it's there. So these are my reflections on fear for today and we'll continue on Thursday as well. And now I'm going to turn off the recording and turn it over to you. What do we do when there's fear. Let's talk about it. Let's normalize it. Thank you for your kind attention this morning.

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Ty love how you broke it down so clearly, and letting myself get comfortable with the fear… will definitely try that ty ☀️

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