Good morning.
We're beginning anew.
Inquiry.
One.
Awakening,
Liberation.
Suffering better.
And what prevents some of these.
Qualities of liberation.
At first,
We practice because we suffer.
I think that that is a common way of coming to practice.
And then we practice to suffer less.
That's a lot of what we do here.
Practice to suffer less.
And eventually.
We begin to ask whether there is a freedom.
That isn't dependent on whether suffering is present or absent.
That's a question.
Is there freedom that isn't dependent?
On whether there is suffering or not.
And those are not competing paths.
They're actually unfolding.
Of one path.
The Buddha never promised a life without loss,
Without illness and disappointment,
Without grief and conflict and uncertainty.
That was never promised.
What he questioned was whether those experiences must inevitably become suffering.
Is there another possibility?
So my question for you this morning.
As we begin a new chapter of inquiry.
And you can maybe even write this down.
And keep it somewhere where you can see it.
To consider in the days ahead.
What do you think practice is for?
Why are you practicing?
Is there a goal for you?
And let's just drop that in.
Why are you practicing?
Is there a goal?
Because every answer,
Every answer reveals an assumption.
Is it to calm down,
To be happier?
To be kinder,
To stop anxiety,
To stop fear.
To become enlightened,
To become a better person.
To survive this life.
To become a better version of yourself.
And none of these assumptions are wrong.
But each assumption creates a direction.
And the Buddha often began by investigating assumptions rather than replacing them.
Just let's see what they are.
Our practice goals quietly determine what we notice.
So if I believe that meditation is for relaxation,
Likely I will judge every Restless Sid.
And maybe even tell myself that I'm doing it wrong.
Because I'm not relaxed.
If I believe practice is to eliminate anger,
I'll see anger as failure.
If I believe that awakening means never feeling fear or whatever afflictive emotion you carry.
Then we'll spend years trying to get rid of it.
Years.
Without realizing it,
This goal that we have,
This assumption,
Becomes another object of attachment.
What if your idea of liberation is actually what's preventing you.
From recognizing it.
Your idea of liberation is preventing you.
From seeing.
I'm seeing it like right here.
I was talking with a practitioner last week.
Kind of about this.
You know,
Sometimes we think.
In this way where if if only we didn't have this job or this health problem.
If only I didn't have financial responsibilities.
Then I could really live a liberated life.
And the funny thing is,
As we say this to ourselves,
You could be on the beach in the afternoon with dogs and loved ones and have this story.
If only I didn't have this job.
You know,
We talk about it well.
We're living a liberated life of swimming in the water.
And being on the beach.
Our liberated life in some way is the life that we are living in,
Swimming in.
It's so funny.
And then this is all of us.
Most practitioners assume awakening will give them something,
You know.
Like this idea of waking up will give them something that you will have never ending peace,
Consistent happiness.
Sort of fearlessness with all experience.
But what if awakening isn't the acquisition of anything?
What if awakening is the ending of something?
Like the ending of believing every thought.
The ending of defending.
An identity.
The ending of resisting what already is.
The ending of needing reality to be different before you can actually relax.
That's a very different orientation.
Maybe when I say awakening or liberation.
Something in you immediately says,
That sounds really nice,
But that's not for me.
That's not for me.
Not in this lifetime.
Maybe for monks.
Or you say to yourself,
Oh,
Life is just suffering.
And what we're doing is we're just learning how to cope.
Whatever your thoughts,
Let's not try to change it.
They're not obstacles having these thoughts.
They're appearances in awareness.
And they are part of what we're investigating.
The doubt itself,
Oh,
This can't happen to me,
Becomes the object.
Do you see?
Another question that I've been considering with this inquiry into awakening,
Freedom,
Is are you interested in becoming better at living your life?
Or Are you interested in discovering?
Whether there is a freedom.
That is untouched by the conditions of your life.
We have preference,
Right?
So when I say that,
There's an inclination of the mind.
Are you interested in becoming better at living your life?
Or are you interested in discovering whether there is a freedom that is untouched by the conditions of your life,
The suffering in life.
And both are beautiful.
And actually,
One naturally matures into the other.
You don't have to abandon the first to enter the second.
So over the next week.
.
.
I really invite you to begin to ask this question.
Notice why you practice.
Because I know that some of you have some doubt about practice.
What's this all for?
Well,
Ask yourself,
Why am I practicing?
Notice what you hope today's practice will give you.
Notice what you think is supposed to happen while sitting for 30 minutes before beginning the next activity.
Notice what you're subtly trying to get rid of or what you're subtly trying to get.
And instead of judging any of it,
Just get curious.
In my experience,
The beginning of liberation.
Isn't finding the answer.
It's been about becoming aware of the question I've been living in all along.
So I offer this for your consideration.
And your further inquiry and discussion.
