Impacts Of Thinking: Storytelling

A distinct part of thinking and with rumination is storytelling. Stories are a very important part of human life. We as human beings tell many stories. But, in our storytelling we are not always conscious of the choices we make – what we choose to emphasize. Depending on what we emphasize, we’ll have a different emotional response to it. Our tone of voice, our body language, and the feelings and emotions that come are influenced by what we emphasize.

Transcript

So we're continuing this week on this topic of the relationship between our thinking and our emotions. And one of the things to discover is that certain emotions are kind of fueling, They're kind of like the fuel for our thinking. They provide the pressure to keep thinking the same things over and over again. And when emotions are embedded in our thinking, It's even more subtle. It doesn't occur to us to turn around and to look at the thinker, At ourselves, Because we're so embedded emotionally into the thinking. So what happens is we miss a whole bunch of aspects of our inner life. Because when we're embedded, Emotions are embedded in thinking, We don't really have that ability at that moment to look back. So cultivating mindfulness is very, Very helpful in being able to see. And maybe it occurs as in hindsight, Maybe you see in hindsight, The way in which emotions get embedded in thinking. In the last talk, We explored the ruminating mind and how the mind gets caught in thoughts and builds and spins in this very, Very distinct way. And what happens is we become a victim of our thinking. We become a victim to the loops that we're in. And rumination, What it does in the body is it wears us down. It's exhausting. And a distinct part of rumination is storytelling. Storytelling. Stories are very important. It's a very important part of our human life. I've shared stories of my own life with you as ways of illustrating the practices of storytelling. And as human beings, We tell many stories. And our storytelling, The stories that we tell are not always conscious. They're not always conscious choices that we make, What we choose to emphasize. So for example, If you ask a friend or a partner, You know, How was your day? How is it working with your challenging boss? You might get the story of, Well, My boss is so demanding and angry and I can never do anything right. And there's so much disrespect. And all of my good ideas, My boss takes them and makes them their own and I never get credit for that. So in the story, Maybe there's some anger and there's some resentment, Right? And you as the listener may also have an emotional response to that story. But if you ask the same friend, Like, How was your day? What did you learn about patience today? You might get a story more like, Well, I have a difficult boss and throughout the day when my boss was really demanding, I was able just to breathe and to relax and I didn't buy into my anger and I was able to stay calm and patient throughout it. So that is a very different story, Right? The emotions of telling that story are very different from the first story. So we can tell the same story with a different story. We can tell a story with different emphasis. And depending on what we emphasize, We'll have a different emotional response. So our tone of voice, Our body language, The feelings and emotion that come are influenced by what we emphasize. And some people, They emphasize how everything is wrong. So many of their stories have to do with complaining. And some people emphasize how everything impacts them. So I'm a victim of everything. It's so hard. And some people tell stories from the point of view of there is lack. There's not enough of something. And there are an infinite number of ways that we tell stories. But if we tell the same story over and over again, There's a particular emphasis. And what happens in that sort of ruminating mind of emphasis is that we reinforce this inner disposition. And we might not even be aware of how much our conditioning influences our stories. You know, There are stories that we say out loud to people, Like I'm from a long line of warriors. That's a story that I sometimes catch myself living into. So the stories that we tell ourselves, We're kind of living into the stories. And some stories that we tell may have aspects of truth in them. And that can make it complicated. You know, If we think that the story is true, We feel justified in telling the story of particular way. But truth is varied and truth is thematic. So to tell a true tell to tell a story depends on like the angle you take on it, Your perspective. Like if you tell the story from the point of view of what I learned today, Versus how you were hurt, You're telling a different story. And they're both kind of true. You can talk about what you've learned and how you've gotten hurt. But what story is actually better for you? That's the question. Which story has a better influence on your inner development? So we can be sensitive that we tell our stories in a biased way. And we select how we tell our stories. When we tell the same story over and over again, Using the same biases, It reinforces a way of being in our inner life. Stories can reinforce our disposition and our emotional life and how we feel. And the way that you can tell if the story isn't really supporting you is that the story is draining. You feel drained by it. And it's hard to change our storytelling. It is. It's like kind of changing the direction of an ocean liner. It is very slow, Very slow. But it's possible to start to recognize what's actually happening. You can actually start to see what's happening. So just like I invited you to get to know your thoughts this week, You know, Your top 10 tunes, The ones that are running the show pretty much, We can start to become skilled at recognizing, Oh, This is a story. This is the story that I'm telling. Meditation and mindfulness practice is so valuable and so important. And it's so valuable in helping us see with greater clarity the stories that we were living by. Let us become wise about the stories that we tell so that our emotional life is not as deeply influenced by them. We can see them for what they are. Stories as stories, Thoughts as thoughts. So I hope that this week on thinking has given you some perspective, Some way to look at and understand your life a little bit better. And my hope is that this view, This understanding will help us to break out of the old perspectives that maybe haven't been so helpful. So thank you. Thank you for your kind attention on this inquiry.