Welcome to this Mindfulness of Sexual Accelerators and Breaks practice.
Many people struggle with low sexual desire.
And while there are many factors contributing to low libido.
One idea put forth by Drs.
Bancroft and Jansen.
Is that sexual desire stems from a combination of sexual accelerators,
The things that turn us on.
And sexual breaks.
The things that turn us off.
In any given situation.
If there are more accelerators than brakes,
Then we feel sexual desire.
This meditation will help us become mindful of our own sexual accelerators and brakes.
So that we can work on our own sexual wellness.
So to start,
Just get comfortable wherever you are.
Lying down if that feels right for you.
Or sitting comfortably in your chair.
You can close your eyes.
Or if it feels more comfortable for you.
Simply lower your gaze to a spot in front of you.
Now,
Take a moment to think about a not-so-great.
Consensual sexual experience that you've had.
It's important that you pick an experience that was fully consensual.
Not a traumatic or coercive one.
But rather.
One that you wanted to engage in.
But was just not very sexually satisfying.
It can be a sexual experience you had with yourself.
Or one that was partnered.
Once you've thought of your meh sexual experience,
See if you can visualize it in your mind.
Now.
.
.
Think about the factors that made it unsatisfying.
Maybe it had to do with external factors.
Like being too stressed.
Or not having enough privacy from roommates or kids.
Maybe it was internal.
Like feeling too preoccupied or anxious.
Maybe it was things about the sexual experience itself.
Like the sexual experience not including the type of sexual activities that really get you going.
See if you can think of three to five factors that didn't work for you.
These are your sexual breaks.
Now,
Let's do the opposite.
Take a moment to remember an awesome sexual experience.
One filled with sexual pleasure.
Satisfaction.
And fun.
Just like last time.
It can be one you had on your own.
Or with another person.
Once you've thought of that sexual experience.
Visualize it in your mind.
Replay it.
Like a video in your head.
Now.
Think of the factors that made this sexual experience so wonderful.
What things about the experience itself made it so good?
What environmental factors?
Was there anything going on with you that really worked?
These are your sexual accelerators.
Once we have greater awareness of our sexual accelerators and brakes.
We can work towards increasing our accelerators and reducing our breaks during future sexual experiences.
Take a moment to reflect on the accelerators and brakes that you just thought of.
Are there one or two breaks that you could try to get rid of during a future sexual experience?
Are there one or two accelerators that you could add in?
Once you've thought of those one to two factors,
Take a moment to give yourself some gratitude for taking the time to consider your sexual well-being today.
Because our sexual well-being is an important piece of overall well-being.
And when you're ready.
Open your eyes or lift your gaze.
And return to your day.
