Today has something in it that matters to you.
It could be a room that you have to walk into.
Possibly a conversation that you've been turning over in your mind since last week.
Or there's something in your life where there's an outcome attached.
Your body already knows this,
And that's where the tightness comes from.
Sit upright,
Feet flat if you can,
And just take three breaths in.
Make the exhale longer than the inhale each time.
That is the part that settles your nervous system the most.
So in,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Out,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six,
And again.
And once more.
The Stoics had a preparation practice and it's the opposite of what most people do.
So most modern advice says,
Picture things going well,
Right?
Picture them going perfectly,
Manifest it.
Whereas the Stoics said,
Picture it going wrong on purpose while you're in a calm state,
Premeditatio malorum,
Rehearsing the difficulty in advance.
And the logic is simple,
Fear is mostly the fear of being caught out,
Being surprised.
And if you've already met the bad version that you're worrying about in your head,
But you do it in a calm,
Contemplative way,
It doesn't surprise you when it happens,
It doesn't ambush you.
The second half is also really important.
Epictetus separated everything into what is ours and what is not ours.
Your preparation is completely within your control.
Your conduct in any room is yours.
It's your responsibility.
Whether another person says yes is not within your control.
Whether the external world bends to your will is not within your control.
The stoic image for this was that of an archer.
We control the draw,
We control the aim,
We control the release.
But once the arrow leaves,
The wind,
The temperature,
The humidity,
The universe has its say.
Today,
We are going to just focus on aiming well,
And then just let go of the arrow.
Bring the moment to mind.
Where you'll be and who is there and what is at stake.
Now let something go wrong on purpose.
The question that you didn't prepare for,
The silence after you finish,
The person who is unimpressed or the moment your mind goes blank,
Whatever it is,
Don't soften it,
Just let it be the version that you've been quietly dreading.
And now watch yourself in it.
I don't want you to perform brilliantly,
But just watch yourself in the experience.
You take a breath and you say honestly that you would like a moment to think.
You answer the part you can answer.
You stay in your own body while everything happens around you.
Notice that in this version,
Nothing catastrophic has occurred.
It went badly,
And you were still there.
That is usually what happens in reality.
Now,
Let's sort out what is yours versus what is not yours.
Name one thing about today that is entirely within your control.
Now name one thing that is not the decision or their mood,
The comparison to whoever went before you.
Hold that second thing for a moment,
And then just set it down,
Not because it doesn't matter,
But because carrying it will not move anything.
And it's just going to cost you the attention you need for the things that are within your control.
The measure of today is not the result.
It's whether you brought what you had.
Take a full breath and feel where you're holding any tension.
Jaw,
Shoulders,
Hands.
And let each one gently relax a little bit more.
If it helps,
You can take this with you today.
I have prepared.
I will do my part.
The rest is not mine.
Nerves may still be there when you walk in,
And that's fine.
Nerves are the body making energy available.
They're not a sign that anything has gone wrong.
Roll your shoulders back.
Move your hands.
.
.
And open your eyes.
You have already done the hardest part of today which is meeting the worst version of it while being calm.
However this goes,
Try to come back tomorrow morning.
The archer practices on ordinary days,
As well as difficult days and pleasant days.
Go WOW!
