Welcome.
I'm Jenna,
And I'm going to walk you through a meditation for when you're feeling compulsive around food.
To begin,
Find a comfortable position,
Sitting or lying down.
Take a few moments to feel where you connect.
With something,
Whether it's the soles of your feet on the floor.
Your seat on your chair.
Feel if your back or the back of your head is supported by something.
And allow yourself to feel held.
Staple.
See if you can let go of any clenching or gripping throughout the body while still allowing the body to feel awake and present.
Notice if you feel any sensations.
Whether they're pleasant,
Unpleasant,
Or neutral.
Remind yourself.
This is just how my body feels right now.
And ask yourself.
Could I let my body be just as it is,
Even if just for a few moments?
Notice any thoughts that are running through your mind.
Note their texture.
Perhaps they're speedy or slow.
Maybe they're crisp and clear or fuzzy and undefined.
Again,
Remind yourself,
This is just how my mind is right now.
And ask yourself,
Could I let my mind be just as it is?
Now notice any emotions that are present.
You might discover there are one or two primary emotions and other secondary ones.
As you continue to breathe in and out,
Allow the complexity of your emotions to simply exist.
If possible.
Loosen your resistance to them just 5%.
Remind yourself,
This is how my heart feels right now.
It won't always feel this way.
And ask yourself,
Could I allow my heart to be just as it is for these moments?
Now bring your awareness to your breath.
Feel the sensation of air coming in through your nostrils and filling your lungs.
Followed by the sensation of breathing out through your nose,
Letting breath dissolve into the space around you.
Take the next few moments to check in with your physical hunger.
Physical hunger can sometimes register as overwhelming urgency to eat and feelings of compulsion.
But if you're physically hungry,
Those are just signals from your body that it's time to eat.
If it's been some time since you last ate and you're feeling compulsive around food,
Your body might be asking to be fed.
Physical hunger often shows up as hunger pangs.
Or an aching sensation in your throat,
Or esophagus,
Or any other physical signs you recognize.
As hunger in your body.
And if you find that you are in fact physically hungry,
Pause this meditation and take some time to nourish yourself.
Coming back.
If those feelings of compulsion remain.
What if you've determined that your hunger is not physical in nature?
See if you can sit with that awareness for a few breaths.
Oftentimes,
Feelings of compulsion arise when we're feeling something that seems intolerable.
Impossible to stay with.
See if you could think of these feelings as a form of communication from your body,
From your mind,
From your heart.
And what you noticed as present in your body,
As sensation,
In your mind,
As thought,
In your heart,
As emotion.
This is yourself communicating.
With you.
This is.
Yourself telling you what's happening right now.
Feels like too much.
Of something or not enough.
Of something else.
The compulsion is to change how you feel.
Not necessarily to put something in your mouth.
So much of mindfulness is learning to stay with what is here right now.
But this doesn't have to be a harsh practice.
True mindfulness is compassion.
It's not easy to stay with typical feelings.
Sometimes it's really scary or icky.
Or just deeply uncomfortable.
You are the only one who can determine if it's possible to stay with what you're feeling right now.
If you think you can.
Try to loosen any remaining resistance to the sensations,
Thoughts,
And emotions that are currently present.
Just a little.
And then.
If possible.
Just a little more.
Yourself relaxing into that reality.
Know that all things follow the same arc of arising,
Leveling off,
And eventually dissolving.
Part of working with compulsive feeding feelings toward food is watching this arc unfold.
When you practice staying with yourself,
You can often see where in the arc of this experience you are.
Whether it's the arising,
The leveling off,
Or even the early part of the dissolving.
Now bring your awareness back to your breath.
The breath too follows this arc of arising,
Leveling off,
And dissolving.
Feel each breath.
As it comes into your body.
And eventually dissolves out.
Bring your attention.
To the sensations in your body.
Has anything changed?
Shit,
Dude.
Intensified.
Dissipated.
Bring your attention to your thoughts.
To their speed.
Their texture.
Their content.
Notice what has evolved.
What has changed.
And finally,
Bring your awareness to those emotions.
And notice what it was like to practice staying with them for a little bit.
Instead of reacting automatically,
Habitually.
Remember that this is a practice to come back to again and again.
That you're building the capacity to stay with discomfort.
You are the best judge of what you need.
You are the expert of your own body.
Your own mind.
Your own heart,
Even if you're a work in progress.
We all are.
And remember,
You always have permission to eat.
If eating right now will help soothe or calm you,
That is always your choice.
There may be times when you choose to eat and times when you choose to refrain and spend some more time with yourself in your current state.
This does not have to be a struggle.
Let's bring this meditation to a close with a few more rounds of breath,
Softening into the here and now.
Thank you for practicing with me.
