To see is to understand.
Written and presented by Dr.
Anne-Marie Belkanski.
Today I sit in meditation,
Something I enjoy doing first thing in the morning.
I sip my tea and settle into a quiet space next to where I sleep.
Sitting in a lotus position,
I decided today to deepen the experience by wearing a blindfold and earplugs.
This practice helps me immerse myself further into the moment.
Throughout my training as a hypnotherapist,
Reaching a trance or a deep meditative state has been a profoundly enjoyable process for me.
But lately I've found myself unsure of what to think about or really work on.
Still,
I feel we are all a work in progress,
Constantly evolving.
The healer's journey is one of the utmost importance to me.
The concept of the wounded healer resonates so deeply.
The wounded healer refers to someone who has experienced their own pain,
Struggles,
Or trauma,
And through their healing journey,
Discover the capacity to help others heal.
Carl Jung introduced this idea suggesting that a healer is not effective because they are perfect,
But because they understand suffering firsthand.
It is through their own wounds that they develop a deep connection to others' pain and the ability to guide others on their healing paths.
This understanding of the wounded healer resonates deeply as I return to my meditation.
Sitting quietly with no external sound or light,
I turned inward to my own internal world.
For me,
Much of my transformation comes from an auditory recognition.
I noticed a subtle sadness,
Not intense,
But a slight down sensation in my body.
I approached it inquisitively.
As I do with my clients in my session,
I ask it,
What are you?
And why are you here?
I should clarify,
The first challenge of doing this kind of self inquiry is that it can be confusing to discern who or what is talking.
Having done this work for some time,
I persisted,
Asking the dull,
Achy sensation in my chest why it was there.
It responded simply,
I'm here to be seen.
When I asked how it made itself seen,
It answered,
By getting angry or mad.
Finally,
I asked how long it had been there,
And it immediately replied,
A long time,
Since I was a child.
This surprised and excited me at the same time.
To discover a part of myself that has been unseen felt profound.
I asked this part,
Why it used anger to be seen,
And it said it didn't know any other way.
At that moment,
I recognized this is a small wounded part of myself,
A part that needed compassion and healing.
I approached it gently and carefully,
Not to scare it or push it too hard.
Acting as my wiser adult self,
As I like to say,
I began to reparent this part of me.
This is where the beauty entered.
I asked this little unseen part,
Who made me feel unseen?
The answer came easily,
Mom and dad.
Being raised in a neglectful home and entering foster care at 11 years old had left many wounds of neglect in my childhood.
Because I have done so much inner child work,
I allowed this part to briefly express what it needed to say.
It expressed how sad and angry it was.
As I listened,
I cried softly in meditation,
Letting the emotions release seamlessly from my body.
I felt the ache in my chest grow stronger as I allowed raw emotions to surface.
In that release,
I found a deep,
Profound sense of peace.
This experience brought forward another realization I often witness with my clients,
The gifts that people bring us.
Whether it's either a grandparent,
An aunt,
A nanny,
A friend,
A sibling,
Or even a parent,
Someone often gifts us these moments of a particular feeling to feel a certain way that we can compound on.
I asked myself,
Have I ever felt seen as a child?
My inner child answered,
Yes,
One person made me feel very seen.
Immediately,
A memory flashed.
At 13 years old,
Navigating a wild parentless teenage life,
The one person who truly saw me was my older sister.
She was just 19 herself,
Already had two children,
And despite her own struggles,
She made time for me.
She would come to the house where I was staying,
And we would sneak out together.
I always felt safe in her presence.
She made me feel protected,
A gift I now deeply appreciate,
Knowing how hard it must have been for her to carry that responsibility of a younger sister while she was herself lacking someone to look out for her.
We would sneak out and sit on the roof or outside,
Talking for hours about everything and nothing,
Our thoughts,
Hopes,
Dreams,
Aspirations.
I now realize how rare it was to have someone ask me those questions without any conditions,
Expectations,
Or hidden motives.
Someone genuinely curious about me.
This is the essence of being seen,
Unconditional love and understanding.
My sister gifted me that feeling because she understood,
Not because she was my sister,
But because she had felt that same pain,
That same deep type of neglect.
This experience has stayed with me.
It taught me the power of being seen and the importance of giving that gift to others.
For me,
The act of being truly seen means being understood.
You cannot see something fully without understanding it.
Think of the moon.
At a glance,
It might seem like nothing more than a ball in the sky.
But when you understand its gravitational pull,
Its phases,
And its connection to the water in the human body,
You see the moon in a new light.
You truly see the moon for what it is,
A powerful satellite reflecting the sun,
A gravitational sphere that affects and changes the oceans,
Seas,
And even our body as it's made up of 65% water.
Likewise,
My parents could not see me as a child because they did not understand themselves.
They didn't know their own traumas,
Emotions,
Or wounds.
How could they see me when they couldn't see themselves?
The Shaman's Vision.
A thought came to me about the shamans and indigenous tribes.
When the first ships approached the horizon,
The tribespeople couldn't see the ships because they had never seen anything like them before.
Only the shamans,
Living between worlds and possessing the gift of vision,
Could see the ships.
By pointing them out and explaining their presence,
The shamans helped others to see what was previously invisible.
In the same way,
People can only see what they understand.
If someone does not see your magic,
Your unique gifts,
Or your beauty,
Do not get angry.
Instead,
Focus on understanding yourself.
When you see and understand your own light,
You will always be seen.
Today,
I saw myself.
A healer,
A helper,
A human having a deeply human experience.
I am healing,
Growing,
And evolving just like you,
In my own unique way.
