Hey,
Everyone.
Today I wanted to make a video on how to do a fear inventory.
So we're going to jump right into it.
If you're ever noticing that you're having recurring fears and they seep through your day and you're having a really hard time detaching from them or finding perspective,
I recommend doing a written inventory.
Now this is taken from part of the 12 steps,
The fourth step,
Which is a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
And I just made a video on how to do a resentment inventory.
So if you see that on my page,
If it's published,
Go look at it.
I also have a course going through each of the 12 steps and their practical applicability through the codependent lens.
So I recommend looking at that too,
If that calls to you.
But for today,
We're just going to do a fear inventory.
And so if you don't have paper and a pen or a pencil,
You can go ahead and pause this video right now.
Or you can listen ahead and come back later.
This is going to have four columns.
And so the first column is just going to be very simple.
What do I fear?
Now I'm going to use a very real life example of something that I've been dealing with.
Recently I've noticed a lot of fear around financial insecurity.
I own a group practice and sometimes it's doing really well and sometimes we don't have nearly as many clients coming in.
And so the ebbs and flows around that can lead to a level of scarcity and gripping that I notice in myself.
And if I'm not taking inventory of where my fears are popping up in my own life,
Then they come out through being reactive,
Feeling tense,
Feeling like everything is really serious all of the time,
And if I don't slow down and pause and take inventory,
Then I won't be able to do anything about it.
And so recently I've been doing this.
So for that first column,
I write what?
And the first thing I'll write is financial insecurity.
And then I'll write,
What's the cause?
The cause is that when I look at the numbers,
The profit has gone down significantly.
So,
It's a real cause.
What does it affect?
And so I'm looking at what does this fear affect in my life?
Inability to fall asleep quickly,
For sure.
Difficulty with meditating because I'm just noticing my brain going back to thinking about finances over and over and over.
Absolutely.
Maybe resentment or envy with other people,
That can definitely come up.
You know,
In what ways is this fear affecting me and impacting my life?
And then the last column is.
.
.
My part.
Now what is my part in the fear?
The first thing that I always put down,
And even just remembering it gives me a feeling of relief,
Is not trusting.
Insert whatever it is you believe in.
So for me,
The wording that I use is not trusting the Tao,
The flow of the universe,
The interconnectedness of all things.
So not trusting the DAO and thinking that I can manage and control and manipulate the outcome of everything.
That's one.
Another piece would be,
For me,
Avoidance,
Right?
Instead of,
I did this yesterday,
Instead of making a budget and looking at the numbers and turning towards finances to see what's actually going on,
I historically would avoid it because it brought up a lot of uncomfortable emotion in me,
Leading to more fear because I didn't actually know what my financial health was.
And I wanted to make this example about money not only because it's a very real current day example for me,
But because I think.
Money is an example of something that can feel like it has a lot more tied into it.
You know,
There can be shame and self-esteem and identity and then scarcity and survival and there's just so many pieces there.
That is how I would do a fear inventory is my part is.
You know,
Let me look at the things I can change.
But where can I radically accept the things that I can't?
There are things I could do work-wise.
I will have to work more and part of me has been resistant to that and so my part is like You know,
I can either take certain action to bring in more income,
Which is a privilege,
Obviously,
Or I could just sit back and be stressed about it and let my mind spiral.
If we look at the serenity prior,
We can think of it as a serenity flowchart.
Can I change this,
Yes or no?
If the answer is yes,
What do I need to do to be willing to take action to change it?
And if the answer is no,
How can I practice radical acceptance and put it down?
Right?
Just allowing life to flow in and to flow out.
There's a wonderful video by a teacher on Insight Timer named Sakeb,
And it's this idea of arigatou in,
Arigatou out.
Now,
Arigatou gozaimasu is Japanese for thank you,
Thank you very much.
And so this idea of,
You know,
When abundance is coming and when things come into our lives,
Arigatou in,
Right,
Like thanking it.
And when things leave our lives and maybe we lose something,
Money,
A person,
An animal,
Arigatou out.
What comes in and we are thinking what comes out and we are not gripping and controlling.
And so feel free to share in the comments what you want to do for a fear inventory.
I think there are a lot that we could do.
If you struggle with boundaries and people pleasing,
Sometimes a fear is setting a boundary.
Well,
What's the cause?
I've never set a boundary with this person,
Or I'm fearful that they're going to be mad at me.
What does it affect?
It affects my ability to be authentic and to show up as I actually am.
It affects the fact that I'm willing to trade my own authenticity for approval,
Right?
And then what's my part?
My part is that I would rather deal with the internal discomfort than risk any kind of external discomfort.
And that's on me.
No one's doing that to me.
That's on me.
So I just love this idea of doing the fear inventory.
For me,
Just the reminder that I am Forgetting to trust the universe,
To trust the Tao,
To act from the present moment and then put everything else down.
Just that reminder can help me to put down fear.
And other times,
I'm just actively feeling fear,
And my part is that I'm not accepting it,
Right?
I'm resisting the fact that I'm fearful,
When that's a really natural and human thing to be.
So I hope this video was helpful,
And if it was not,
I'll probably do a fear inventory of people leaving me reviews that hurt my feelings,
And when I play that fear through,
Like play the tape all the way through,
My part is expecting everyone to like me,
And that's just never gonna be the case.
Yeah,
Thank you for giving me an opportunity to walk through my fear every time I make another video.
And for those of you who have been so kind and encouraging,
Know that I see your comments and I really appreciate them because this is terrifying.
And making a video with no script and not editing it or cutting it down is terrifying and Because of these fear inventories,
I just walk through it.
What's the worst thing that can happen?
I feel hurt,
I feel rejected.
My part is that I'm no longer going to base my self-esteem on how well-received I am by people I've never met.
I'm just going to show up authentically and hope.
That this reaches someone.
And if it doesn't,
It helped me to make it,
Just as a reminder.
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
And if you liked this,
Go ahead and start doing some fear inventories again.
What is the fear?
What is the cause of the fear?
Is there evidence that this fear is actually real?
What is this fear affecting and what is my part?
What is my part in the fear?
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
