LIVE Q & A Life, Lessons, & Laughter 12-20-2021

In this episode I will answer questions from the audience. Usually many topics get covered and it's very down to earth, practical information. This Life, Lessons, & Laughter with Glenn Ambrose was recorded live on 12-20-21.

Transcript

Welcome to Life, Lessons, And Laughter with your host, Glenn Ambrose. Hello, How's that for timing? I don't know where the time went. I just, Uh, I was getting ready. All of a sudden I looked at the clock and it was, You know, I'm in Atlantic Standard Time, So it was seven o'clock and I was like, Whoa, When did that happen? So here I am. Hello, Hello, Hello, People. Give me some hellos. Let me know where you're from. And let me know if you have any questions. Yeah, I have to check my setting. Of course. So, Yeah, Today is going to be a live Q&A. So I'm going to be seriously feeding off of you guys. So. So send me your comments. Nicole, Hello from Colorado. Hey, Sarah. There we go. I love it. I love it when you guys are tuning in. So you guys got anything on your mind? Would you like me to start? Would you like me to open with something that you've that you've been noticing or that you are preparing for with the holidays coming up? You know, Notoriously, This is a time of high stress. For many people. Which it doesn't have to be, You know, It just is. We're not victims of stress. You know, I'm sure I've talked about that before. You know, People like, Oh, I. You know, Work was very stressful or that drive home is so you know how that is, It's very stressful. And it's like, Well. It's there, You know, Situations aren't stressful. It's how we manage them. That's stressful. I mean, You know, Of course, There are exceptions, Like when there's real physical danger. But that's that's a big thing right now, Like with our to understand and how we're interacting with life is that like, You know, Our our ego is there to. To warn us of possible danger. And there really isn't any. You know, I mean, Most people in developed countries, There's no real danger, You know, So so we are stress gets triggered not when we're about to die. It gets triggered on a on like a deadline for a work assignment. It's like, But we don't have to be. Victims of that, Which it's stress and is induced with how we're processing the situation intellectually. So because and just about any situation nowadays, Like I said, That doesn't cause where we're not in threat of physical danger. Like all of the situations that we say induce stress. There is somebody in that exact same situation that isn't stressed out. So what's the difference between them and you if you're experiencing stress? It's the way they're processing the information. It's their resistance to it or the pressure they put on themselves to perform or, You know, So it's the way we're processing it. So we can shift the way we process things and the way we interact with reality and lower our stress levels, Which is really a good thing that I recommend to do, Because stress is arguably the number one killer in the world. It's you know, Our immune system lowers because we're under constant stress. So what that does is, You know, It's I've said this before, It's like they inject you with stress hormones when they're going to implant a foreign organ into somebody's body because it lowers the immune system so much that the immune system doesn't attack the foreign organ. You can take somebody else's heart and put it inside of you. And if you inject the body with stress hormones, That your immune system will be so lowered that your immune system won't attack the new heart. That's pretty effective at lowering your immune system. So then, You know, People are under constant stress and they wonder why they have diseases. Well, Their immune system can't fight them off. You know, Sicknesses, All kinds of stuff because of it. So anywho, So that's my little initial rant. I'll start with the questions. Overwhelmed having a messy house. Yeah, Well, I believe you're a single mom, Nicole. That goes with the territory. You know, I saw a quote a while ago and I'm not going to get it right, But and it's not 100% true, But it's funny because it's partially true, Like most things. And it was something like, You know, My messy house is a sign of how like engaged I am with my children. You know, So that again, It's about shifting the way we process information. And if we look at a messy house and say, Oh, OK, Well, You know, I should have a clean house. Well, Who said? You know what, Society thinks that you're supposed to have a clean house. Society says a lot of things that I'm. Not an agreement on. And don't get me wrong, I'm actually a very neat person. I like a clean house, But I've just learned to, You know, Let some stuff slide, You know, Like if it's if it's a decision between, You know, My my house is going to stay a little messy. Or I'm going to be present with my child. Well, Guess what's going to win? I'd rather be present with my child and have a house that's a little messy, You know, And we can do both. This is you know, This I you know, I don't know your how you live your life, Of course, But I'm going to say it. And then if it doesn't apply to you, It'll apply to somebody else. It's you know, Like when we when we look at our messy house, We think it's our responsibility. Like, Nicole, You've got two kids. I had one. Like, It's the house. It's important. I feel I've always felt it was important to start teaching my son responsibility at a young age. And I and I literally told him that I said, I said, Listen, Like, Like the age that society says you're an adult is 18. So you're supposed to be able to have a certain level of responsibility by the time you're 18. How do you think that's going to happen? Like on your 18th birthday, You just wake up responsible. That's not how it happens. Responsibility is learned. So I told him at a very young age, I'm like, You're going to start. I'm going to start teaching you responsibility gradually. And as you get older, It's going to increase because you can handle more. And then when you by the time you become an adult, You're going to be able to handle your responsibilities, And which he's doing dramatically well right now. So. So, You know, That's what I taught him. So if there's three people in that house, There's three people that should be participating in cleaning that house. Like, We it's very important that we are present with our children and it's very important that we play with our children. But it's also important for them to understand we are not their slaves because that's what we end up teaching them. You know, I think so. I'll oversimplify this point. You know, Like a lot of our parents, I think our parents really started a shift like they weren't as hard on us as their parents were. You know, And of course, This whole thing kind of fluctuates a little bit over. You know, It's not one generation like cookie cutter. They do this and they do this. It depends on the parents. But I'm sure my parents were easier on me than their parents were on them. You know, So what like I they didn't make me do that much stuff. I mean, I had chores, But I would also see my mom busting her ass cleaning the house and I wouldn't lift a finger. You know, Like so there was times that I could have been helping that I wasn't. And so like, You know, We. And and I lean too far in that direction, Too. There was times when I caught myself doing too much. And instead of going into victim mode, Which I don't like and going, Oh, My son never helps me and he should. And I want to you know, I take responsibility myself and go like if my like there's two people in this house, Me and him. And one of us is in control of what happens here. And that's me because I'm the adult. So like, If I don't like what's transpiring, Then I should change it. I shouldn't blame him and call him lazy. I should be like, Hey, Guess what? You're going to be helping now. And and really teach him the importance of, You know, There's we are a team. Oh, Yeah, They asked to help all the time and I say, No, Let me do it. I just do it because I want to do it my way. So I need to let that go and let them a freakin man. So did you see my post earlier today about being the martyr? This is a huge thing. Many, Many, Many, Many people can benefit from this. Most most of my clients over the years and most people I talk to over the years, When I really dive into this subject with them, When people really at the end of their rope and they're like, I can't take it from my husband anymore. My kids are lazy pieces of crap and blah, Blah, Blah. When we really lean into that, Most often. People do offer to help in their household. See, It's a control issue. So this is it's it's it's cool how all this ties in. This is a very interesting dynamic to me. So I enjoy it. People with big hearts often think of other people first, Right? Which is Nicole, You obviously are one of those. And most people listening to this are. They have big hearts. That's why they're tuning into something that can help them live a happier, Healthier life, Because they actually give a crap. People that don't have big. Well, Everybody has a big heart underneath. But people who are too closed off don't work on themselves. Right. So people who have big hearts are actually most often control freaks. And it's weird at first to hear it, You know, For them, Because usually they're like, Oh, No, I'm I'm always thinking about the other person and trying to please people where we're often people pleasers. And all this stuff. So we're so connected to that type of mentality. We don't see the flip flop of it. You know, There's two sides to every coin and they're related. So the flip flop to that is most people are control freaks. This is why they do too much is they look at a situation. They're off. They're often highly intelligent and or highly capable. And they're capable of doing things quicker and more efficiently and more effectively than some other people. And with which is one reason why they lean into doing it. But the other reason is they don't like the way other people do it. So all I'll just do it'll be easier, You know, But it becomes a pattern. And then so leaning into this, Taking your hands off of it and allowing people to do that is a very spiritual practice that because one, It lets you go of of the the need to control and it helps loose and your grips on that. Most things, That's all it takes. Like when we're working on ourselves, All it takes is putting a little bit of consciousness to it, Understanding it and putting some conscious to it and loosening our grip on the thing that we hold too tightly. Like in this case, Control. Oh, It's just easier for me to do it. That's control, You know. So what it does is just losing your grip on that and practicing patience. I mean, You know, I'm a believer that you you teach your children how to do something right, Like which is a task. I think my son does probably pretty well at this point. But most of his life, I would teach him how to vacuum and then I'd go in and it'd be dirt all over the place. I'd be like, Well, You didn't pick up the dirt. That's the point of vacuuming. See, And I used to explain it to him this way because I could tell what his focus was. His focus was finishing because he didn't want to vacuum. So what his motivation was, His intention was to finish vacuuming before he even started. He just wanted to be done. And that's what his focus was on. So I used to tell him, I'm like, You're you're just trying to get done. So you just move the vacuum cleaner around a little bit. And then you tell yourself you're done and then you think you're done. But that's that's that's not how you vacuum. When you vacuum, Your intention has to be to pick up the dirt. And to to go over the whole area, If that's your intention, You'll actually vacuum properly. And I used to have him vacuum the same room four or five times because I played the game of trying to explain it to him and he just wouldn't catch on. So I was like, OK, Well, I can't if his goal is to finish and I let him be done, Then he's going to have achieved his goal. And he's not going to learn anything that I'm explaining to him. It's going to go in one ear and right out the other. But if he wants to finish and I don't let him finish until he does it right, Then he'll learn that, Like, The quicker he does it right, The quicker he'll be done. So I used to play those games. Hey, It's it's part of being a parent, You know, And it takes a while, Man. It takes a while. But I always used to look at it like this. Long term vision is something that we have that a lot of kids generally struggle with, You know, Partially because they don't have the same concept of time as we do. But but it's kids just have a long term. They haven't been on the planet long enough to understand this linear crap. So so they have a lot. They have difficulty with long term thinking. But we, On the other hand, Have that benefit. So, Like, I saw that if I caved, If I said no to something and then I said yes afterwards. Then my son would just continue. If I said no, He would continually ask me. So then I flash forward at five years and I'm like, OK, For five years, Every time we're in a grocery store, Every time he wants to do something, Every time, Like multiple times a day. If I say no, He's going to ask me over and over and over and over and over again. And that's going to drive me insane. So I don't want to go through that for five years. So I'm going to teach him once I say no, That's the final answer. And I'm not changing it. And it's no longer about what he's asking me about. It's just about the fact that I made my decision and I won't go back on it because I don't want to spend the next five years with him asking me over and over. And I explain that to him. I'm telling you, You can explain this stuff to your children. They understand dynamics way better than we give them credit for. So like I told him, I was like, You know, At the grocery store, No. No, You can't have that candy bar, Please. Please. I said, I can't say yes. No, I can't. He's like, Yes, You can. No, I can't. I can't because now it's no longer about the candy bar. Now it's about I said no. And if you ask me over and over and over and over again and I say yes, Then what am I teaching you? I'm teaching you to ask over and over and over and over again until you get what you want. So that's exactly what you'll do. We are teaching these kids how to treat us. We teach everybody how to treat us. That's why people treat different people differently. So, So, You know, Think the long term. If you can get them to help and you can get used to it, Not, You know, Not being done perfectly. I say that because, You know, Like I just talked about, I tried to teach him how to do a good job vacuuming. Now, As soon as he did a good job, I personally would have done a great job vacuuming. So I think. But as soon as he did a good job, Then I would drop it because it's like, Hey, Close enough. You know, I don't have to control every aspect of this. But including their help and what's going to happen is as you do that and they become the team, It's you three. Accomplishing a harmonious life, It's not you responsible for everything and then two other people experiencing the benefits of that. You know, When it's three of you working together to accomplish a happy, Harmonious how house, Then they're invested in it. You know, So it's there more anybody that's invested in a solution. It's there. The reason they're invested is because they're a part of it. So they feel a part of, You know, So get these kids on your team and teach them how to work together. And not only is it going to help you in your household and it's not going to go perfect. I mean, Come on, We're dealing with kids. It ain't going to go perfect. But what it's going what you're teaching them to is how to be a parent. You know, How do we think we learn how to be parents by paying attention to what our parents do? Right. So like most people, When their parents, When they're raising their kids and have their careers going and all this stuff. It's a very busy time in lives. And that's true. You know, And some of that, It's we're not going to change. It's just a lot going on at that stage of people's lives when they have kids and careers and all that stuff. It gets very busy. Even if you don't have kids, That period of your life gets busy with kids gets 10 times busier. But so that period. Why are most people stressed out during that time? Is because they don't know healthy ways of navigating it. So we're just passing that on to the next generation. You know, This this is why, Like when we teach our kids about like when we show our kids that we're taking care of ourselves and when we teach our kids that it's not fair that we have two able bodied human beings in the house that don't do anything. That sit on the couch and play video games while we're working our asses off and doing 10 times more than everybody. That's that's a dynamic that we're showing them is OK. And then when they get into their life, When they're busy stage, They do the same thing. They're like, Oh, My God, I'm so exhausted. I'm doing everything. Well, Don't do everything. There's three people. Why don't you get some help? You know, Get them in the game. You know, So, Yeah, Loosen your grip about, You know, Maybe how perfectly you need things done. I use this as a practice, Not only of teaching them how to be a more balanced adult when they get older. And not taking everything on themselves. That's what it is, Is like I posted earlier about being a martyr. We do these things because we think it makes us a good person or we think that that that's what good people do. Oh, I you know, I'm a good mom. I have to, You know, Do everything in the house and bring home the bacon and do like. Oh, Yeah. That's you know, That's just being the martyr. Like just get, You know, Incite help, Teach balance, You know. Hey, Maria, I think it's harder as women. We try to do everything. It's tough. Yes and no. Yes and no. Because, You know, I was a single parent as a male. And like, If you're a single parent, You're a single parent. And, You know, That is so like I, I had no family. I had no friends helping me. It was me and my son. So like, You know, I did everything with him. So I don't, You know, In my particular situation and a lot of other men, You know, Men like women's roles change dramatically. Yeah. So you were a single mom, Maria, Too, For 20 years. Right. So you. Right. So I mean, If you're a single parent, If there's one person doing everything, There's one person doing everything. It doesn't matter if they have a penis between their legs or not. Like, It's just one person. So, So like it, It is tough, You know, And I do agree to some degree that that there is a little more difficulty as women because I think it's the roles changing for women. Right. So there's a learning curve to that. Women's roles have changed dramatically. And they're, You know, Very often, Either they're expected by either society, Which is BS, Or themselves. Which is more detrimental to do everything to have a career and to be taking care of the kids and all this stuff. So there is certainly that difficulty. But a lot of people don't realize that the roles are changing for men, Too. Like we didn't, Men didn't worry about like being kind and and and and lovey to their children. That wasn't their role. Rub some dirt on it. Go tell your mother. You know, Whatever. Like, Guys, You know, Especially with so much divorce now and all this stuff, Like guys have to be a mother. This is where I think a lot of the confusion is coming in with with the dating world is men have this major push, Not only the rise of the divine feminine energy is rising up in the world. Because it needs to. We've been way out of balance with masculine energy in this world and not enough feminine. So the feminine is coming back into balance. It's rising up. And many men's roles have changed because they're divorced. And when their kids are with them, All of a sudden they need to learn how to be motherly. Never. You know, They've never kissed skinned knees before. That's not in our DNA. We have to learn that stuff, You know, Like so our roles are changing, Too. And I think it's a good thing, Ultimately, But there's learning curves on both sides. And and it, You know, So like the the the women have been mothers, Right. And then now all of a sudden they have to be in the workforce and have these careers, Too. So we think so. That's where all this extra pressure on women is coming from. Right. So that's obvious. And people talk about that a lot. But a lot of people don't talk about men. Men have been they have the careers. Right. Well, Now all of a sudden we have to be parents like like motherly parents. Before a lot of men went to work all day, They came home, The dinner was on table, They sat their ass down, They ate, They recuperated, Maybe played with the kids for an hour or two, Watched some TV, Went to bed and did it all over again. Like, You know, And then the woman stayed home, Took care of the kids in the house. And but they didn't go to work, Too. Right. So women, You're bringing in the work piece, Men, You're bringing in the family piece. Like if you're in a divorce, If you're a divorced dad, Like you, You don't have somebody cooking your meals, You don't have somebody doing your grocery shopping, You don't have somebody cleaning your house. You have to do all that stuff now. Before we used to have a woman doing that. Now also, We got to do it all. You know, So our roles are changing, Too. It's both sets of roles are changing. It's just the opposite way. That's all you know, Where we're so what we have to do, Whether you're a man or a woman, You have to develop your own balance and don't get caught up in this ridiculous mentality that society puts on you that you have to do it all and you have to do everything and you have to be the same type of mother that your mom was and you have to be the same type of worker that your dad was and you have to like, Nobody can live up to that. And what we're doing is, You know, Society puts pressure on us to do that. So it's our decision whether we want to allow societies pressures that are unrealistic and unhealthy and BS. Would we like to try to spend our energy living up to those and drive ourselves until we crack? Or would we like to reassess how we should live our lives? And make something more reasonable and more manageable, You know, And tone it down and lower the expectations and incite our kids a little bit more into helping out, Especially if you're a single parent. You know, So, So yeah, It's, You know, This is the, You know, I work with a lot of women. I mean, More women are waking up spiritually than men. It's because of the way where women are more emotion based, Men are more logic based. So for a man to wake up spiritually, A lot of times they have to overcome the logic aspect and land into the emotional and then open up from there. Women are already there. So, So this is why there's dramatically more women opening up spiritually than there are men, You know, It's so, So I do work with a lot of women, And I mean, You know, Do if, If I had, If I was held, Held down and I had to pick, And I had to say, Okay, Who's, I shouldn't even do this, But I'm going to do it just for clarity sake. Who's, Who has the more difficult role adjustment? I'm going to go out there and I'm going to say women, Because there's, You know, There's more societal pressures on how to look and all that stuff. And I mean, Men have those two, But it's just a little bit more obvious with the woman. So I'm going to say women have it, They do have it a little bit harder than men, But it's a lot closer than people think, Because men don't usually talk about it. You know, It's because they're, They're more self contained, More logical trying to figure out how to do it, As opposed to emotional expressing how they feel. So it doesn't get talked about that much. But anywho, Blah, Blah, Blah. This is all, You know, What we need to do is we, We need to let go of what society is telling us we need to do and take responsibility for our own lives and create a formula that works. And one of the things I've been teaching people a lot lately, Because it helps with perspective is, You know, Look at your life if you have, Like most of the times we're running around too randomly. And we're constantly doing stuff. And our excuse for that is that we say we're just too busy and we're just, We're doing as much stuff as we possibly can, And there's no spare time. So therefore, Bringing structure in is a waste of time because I'm never going to get it all done and it doesn't work. And that's not actually true when we bring structure in, It does create more time. And even changing our mindset does. When, When Matteo was really little, I experimented with this a couple times because I read it somewhere and I was like, Let's see if this is true. And it was talking about mindset. And I don't know if it used this particular example but this is how I did it. I was so busy all the time. And I had heard that it was a mindset so I started every time I thought I was busy, I started telling myself, I have more than enough time to do everything that I want to do. I started telling myself that consistently, You know, Every time every time I felt busy or stressed, Or that I didn't have enough time or there was a lot to do anything I would just hit the brakes for a moment and go, I have more than enough time to do everything that I want to do. And I would just say it and then move on. I wouldn't let myself fall into that poor me, There's not enough time mentality and I would just say that. And then it was like two weeks, And I remember I was finishing up doing something and I was walking into from the kitchen into the living room. And I was like, Okay, What do I need to do? I'm like, Oh my god, I don't think I don't have to do anything. I don't, I don't think I have anything to do. It's not freaking out. And I have like a calendar with every all these things that I needed to do and everything. And this was like before I went to the electronic calendar calendar so I opened it up and I looked and I'm like, Oh my god, Like, Of course, This stuff that I could do tomorrow and the next day there's always stuff to do, Right. But, But like, I was caught up and didn't have anything to do and I had a gap of time I forgot it was somewhere between two and four hours that I had, I literally didn't have to do anything. And I couldn't, It was years since I had experienced something like that. And I sat down and I was like, Oh my god, I'm going to sit down. I'm just going to sit down and not do anything and I found myself unconsciously standing up to go do something that I didn't actually need to do, Because I was like, Oh, I'll just do this because at some point it's going to need to get done so I might as well just get out of that out of the way, So I won't have to do it later. This is how we perpetually keep ourselves busy. There's always something to do so we always create or find something to do that, Oh, I have five minutes I'll do three things. Eventually I'll have to do them so I'm getting caught up I'm getting ahead. No, You're not you're just keeping yourself busy. So practice that tell yourself, Every time it comes up for like a week or two. Just go like, I have more than enough time to do everything that I want to do. And then see if it affects you know it's just an experiment, You know, If for some reason you don't like it or it doesn't work for you, Then, Then you can just know if it doesn't work for you then, Then you don't don't do it. Do you ever have so much to do that is overwhelming and you get nothing. Yeah, Absolutely. I'm wondering if there's somebody that that doesn't happen to. That would be, That would be a good question. Let me know. It's because I bet you most people would. Do you ever have so much to do that it is overwhelming and you get nothing done. Yeah, Absolutely. You know, Like, I mean overwhelming. So, Overwhelming is a very specific energy, I know because I used to say it was my middle name, Because that's where I went, I didn't have, You know, I was an alcoholic for 20 years I didn't develop a lot of good healthy dealing with life strategies. You know, Like as my responsibilities increased, And then you develop coping mechanisms and all that stuff I didn't do any of that I just wanted to have a beer. So, Like, So my middle name was overwhelmed, I could get overwhelmed, Very easily and shut down or freak out or whatever. So, Overwhelm is, It's kind of built into the question, Do you ever have so much to do that it's overwhelming. That's what overwhelm is, Is when you're looking at everything all at once. And it's overwhelming you want to know why it's overwhelming is because, Because you can't do everything all at once. Like nobody can nobody can live all at once. You know, So this is why overwhelm, Like is actually manageable, Because what it is is, It's a concept. We're looking at it, We have to go, We go, Oh I have to go grocery shopping I have to pick up the kids. I have to do the laundry I have to go to work, I have to, I have to, I have to, I have to, Right and whatever pieces we put in place to get us overwhelmed. There are multiple and or they're really big pieces. So whatever. The point is, Is it's too much. Like the reason that we're overwhelmed is because we're looking at it as like one big thing, And we're trying to figure out how to do it all. Now, I have to get it all. I can't, Like I don't even know where to begin. Well, Of course, Of course because you can't do five things at once, Like it's, And like, I know when you say it out loud you're like well of course I can't do five things at once I know that but intellectually, This is what's going on inside of your head. The reason you're overwhelmed is you're actually trying to conceive of how it all gets done. And you can't. You know, This is the old, The old adage, How do you eat an elephant. One bite at a time. You know, Don't try. The reason that you're overwhelmed is because you're trying to get everything done. And you can't, Because it's literally physically impossible for you to get everything done. So don't try to get one thing done. And if it's, And if you get overwhelmed by one big project. Then, If it's overwhelming then it's too big. So you just break it down into smaller pieces. Go okay I'm going to do this. Yeah, But if I do that and then I'll have to do that and that and that and I don't, I can't see how I can ever get it done and it's too big. Well, Now your brain just skip to everything again. We can't, You know, This is why. This is why, Like, You know, I'm trying to think of how to phrase this. Like there's like 100 12 step programs all based on the original 12 steps which was originally from Alcoholics Anonymous. So, Like, There are, That is a spiritual program there is spiritual law built in it all over the place. Most of the people that are in AA and doing it don't even know the depth of spirituality that's in that that program. But there are, You know, There's little catch phrases that work. Sometimes some of the catch phrases are really good. Some of them aren't so good. But like one of the catch phrases is one day at a time. Well, You know, Why, Why is that such a catch phrase that's been people been saying for 70-80 years. It's, You know, It's a catch phrase because there's some truth to it. One day at a time is just how you know you, You will, Can I stay sober for a week, Can I stay sober for a month, The rest of my life oh my god that's too huge. How would I ever do that I can't, I can't even fathom doing that. Well don't try, Because you're going to fail. Just try to stay sober one day. And in the beginning sometimes it's one hour. I mean I in my beginning there was moments when it was literally I was staring at a clock, Trying to talk myself into go out of going to get a drink, And I was just going like 30 seconds at a time. I was literally watching a second hand going like, If I can just make it, Because I was, I was like oh I'll just make it an hour and I was like no way I'm not going to make it an hour. I'll make it 15 minutes. Absolutely not. It was too big for me to conceive. So I was like, I'll just make it a minute. Oh my god my skin was crawling. Okay, 30 seconds, I'll just make it 30 seconds, And it was either 30 seconds or 15 seconds, Where I hit that point I chopped it down into smaller and smaller pieces until I hit a point that was manageable. And then I did that. And then once I got 15 seconds, I went for 15 more seconds. And then next thing you know I had a minute. And then I went, Then I tried to expand it to 30 seconds because I was confident in the 15 second, You know, Like and I literally went through that. And the reason that it worked is because I didn't get caught up judging how small my pieces were. I was just looking for what I could handle. And this is what we need to do in life. Stop worrying about how small the pieces are you have to get cut up whatever you're doing to make it manageable and just keep cutting until it's manageable. I have too much to do I'll never get it all done. Okay, That's too big. I have nothing that I can do. Well, I can go to a grocery store, Oh my god that gives me heart palpitations like that's probably going to take me two hours, And that might if, If there's traffic and might put me behind and I'm stressed. That's too big, It's overwhelming you there's too many moving parts. So, Going to get groceries is too big. Well, What if you, What if you put on your coat. Could you put on your coat. Yeah. Okay. All right, Then put on your coat. Okay now, Do you, Do you have your pocketbook. Not Yeah. Okay, Grab your pocketbook. Do you have your keys and cell phone. This whenever I leave the house it's what I used to do I don't do it so much around here. I used to go wallet keys cell phone. Yes. Okay. And then move, You know, And then just keep don't worry about, You know, We judge ourselves Oh I should be able to do this, I should, I should be able to handle a job and kids and groceries and laundry. And then we start beating ourselves up because we don't think we're living up to some false BS expectation, Like just keep cutting it down until it's manageable and just do that one little piece. And then when that's done pat yourself on the back don't skip that part, Pat yourself on the back. Nicely done. All right, See you get that one. Yeah, You know, Maybe, Even if you get half the stuff done that you wanted to get done. That's good. That's, That's half it's a star. I understand the other concept that's helped me is understanding that it never gets done we have this unconscious thought that we're going to finish or something like it. That's, There is no finish line. If you're doing laundry. And you're not naked. That means there's more laundry to do, Because you're literally wearing stuff while you're doing laundry, So you never finish. If you buy groceries, Guess what you have to eat them. That means you're gonna have to go again. If you're snacking on something on the way home well, You're already down one candy bar. So it's, It's about slowing down the pressure that we put on ourselves is ridiculous. And the problem is, Is that it's societal. This is what I mean this is how this is one of my favorite parts about spirituality that you want to know what really sold me on spirituality is this. When I saw this I got really excited and I was in. And that is when I looked at society's ways of living life. They didn't hold water they didn't make sense. I was like okay can a woman or a single parent, Just be everything can can they work full time and be a full time parent and be a full time friend and be in a full time relationship with somebody and be like no there's not enough hours in the day like it literally can't be done. And it's like yeah but society is telling me that I should be able to do that. Well, That is unrealistic it doesn't hold water it's BS, It's woo woo, You know everybody talks about spirituality being woo woo spirituality isn't being woo woo spirituality is down to earth and realistic. What's woo woo BS is society standards that you're trying to push on you, You know, Talking about women all women being the same size looking like frickin Barbie or something like is that realistic. Of course it's not. But people literally put pressure on themselves to live up to that well don't do that. But nobody slows down enough to look at it and go is what society saying doesn't make sense. Does it is it Kate Am I capable of doing it, Is it realistic. No, It's not realistic at all. Oh, Okay, So maybe I shouldn't try to do that. That's society, You know society says, You know, Do good in school and go to the most expensive college, And you'll make tons of money, And now we have two generations filled with people with student loans that they can't pay off. Did that work. No, Who's society what society told them to do it and it didn't work. So it's not realistic, It's woo woo BS pie in the sky, Non realistic thinking. Nobody looks at spirituality and says it's woo woo. No, It's not what society is telling you to do is woo woo. It doesn't make sense if you really look at it. And then spirituality comes along, And it says, Okay, Well, You know, You need to, You need to do what makes you happy in life. Does that hold water. Well, Yeah, If you want to be happy, Like society says, For you to live a happy successful life, Then you have to go to school and then go to an expensive college and then you get a job, And then you get married somewhere along the way and you buy a house with a white picket fence with 2. 3 kids and a dog named spot and then you're happy, And many people have tried this formula, And they're not happy. Spirituality says that happiness comes from within. And if you work on yourself, You connect to that, And then you live from that space outward, Then all sudden your your life starts reflecting that happiness that you have within you back to you, And you start experiencing happiness. Now, Many people have tried that and the people who have tried it consistently have large amounts of success, Way more than society's society's rule of going to college and getting a high paying job makes you happy. Many, Many, Many, Many more people have become happy by spiritualities idea of how to become happy. So do you see like, What the reason that we struggle so much with life is because society puts these pressures on us to live up to a certain unrealistic, Woo woo BS mindset that literally doesn't make any sense, And we kick our own ass trying to do it. You have to slow down and be like, Okay, What am I actually trying to do? Like, Is it realistic? And you can bring some structure in your life just to make you a little bit more higher functioning, You know, I look at it, I've been, I was going to say this earlier. I've told people lately especially that like, Look at your day, Remember that it has 24 hours in it. And you go, You know, If you sleep eight hours, And you work eight hours that leaves eight hours, You have eight hours left. Okay, Well, You know, You got to eat. You have a commute to take into consideration. So you have to shower. Right. So let's take three hours out of there. Well, We still got five. Okay, What are you doing with those five hours? You know, If you slow down, And I recommend the calendar, You know, Put, And I used to use a calendar, When I was a single parent, I used my calendar for downtime. I didn't use it for work time, Or I didn't use it for errand time. I mean, I would, You know, If there was a day that I was going to go grocery shopping, And I wanted, I had a nice block of time where it fit in nicely, And I wanted to remember I put it in there. Sure. But I mean, Mainly, What I what I used my calendar was for was downtime, Where I was not allowing myself to do anything productive, Because we need that to we can't, We can't just go from morning until night, Just accomplishing stuff. If that's what your life consists of, You need to change your life. You know, Like, I mean, Like, Downsize your house, Buy less clothes. I mean, Something, You know, This is the, This is the wheel of, Of, Of developed countries, Not just the United States, But I see so many differences over here. In the Dominican Republic, People don't, Their mindset is completely different. And what it does is it shows me how drunk I was on the mindset of society. Like that the standards we have for ourselves are insane. Like, You know, At some point, I was just thinking about this the other day, At some point, Like, When it rains, People try not to get wet. Right? It's a fairly simple part of society, Most people try not to get wet. So like, You know, What happens is people buy like a raincoat, And they might buy an umbrella, And they might buy rain shoes or something or boots or whatever, You know, So and then, And that's, That's kind of it. But like in, In society, Like developed societies, What happens is somehow going from the, From the house to the car, There's a spot where you can't open your umbrella yet. But you still have to walk down a few steps before you can open the umbrella. So if it's raining, Some rain will hit you. So then what do we need to do? Well, We need to spend $13, 000 on an overhang for the entire front of the house on the carport to make sure because, Because you get wet, I mean, You get wet, You can't get wet. So then you build that, You know, And then maybe you have to put an addition onto your house to build a three car garage, Well, You're going to build a two, But you have a kid, And they're going to have their license in 14 years. So you have to build a three car garage because they can't get wet either. Like, I mean, My point is, The levels that we go to in society that people just think is acceptable is absurd. Like over here, You've got people wearing a long raincoat, Like down to their ankles with a hood that costs them $18 and hopping on a little motor, Like a little scooter, And cooking 45 minutes down a rocky mountain in the pouring rain, And then going to work for the day and then coming home and nap. And the only time they pull over and stop and wait on the side of the road under a tree is when the rain is coming down so hard that they can't see anymore because the rain is pelting them in the eyes. Like it's, I'm not saying we have to do that. What I'm saying is the, The, The amount of money that we spend making our lives perfect, Where there is no inconvenience whatsoever. What we think is acceptable ways of living and avoiding inconveniences is just off the chain. You know, Like I mean if there's dirt in a house. Well, Oh my god my, My house is dirty I have to clean it. It's like no it's just dirt it's earth like when did we become allergic to earth. We're going to die we're going to get sick because this part of the earth on our kitchen floor, Like when did that become a thing, You know, We go, My point is we go too far in the direction of convenience and cleanliness even, And all these things, And we, And, And we work to provide a lifestyle like that. You know we work to provide a lifestyle. So it's like you know over, I come over here and it's like I work definitely less over here, And I have less and I'm happier, Because I, What I do is I find out that I don't need everything that I had over there. Like oh my god cool. Oh, This is nice it takes a bunch of that pressure off. And I'm seeing all this, And I've been living consciously for the last 18 years. You know I've really been applying myself to this stuff for 18 years. So it's like, So if I still see holes in my thinking that I'm socially conditioned in, And I've been working on this stuff for 18 years I think most people have room for growth. You know, We can. So, Basically to sum it up, Is it's those, You know, We need to look at our thoughts this is living consciously, We have to look at our thoughts and go, Is that realistic, Is this something that I should work towards, Or, You know, Like, If our, If our life is so busy, Like we create our life. So we can look at it and go like, Could I live on less money. What would that look like. Could I downsize my house, What would that look like. You know I'm not saying that you have to do it, I'm just saying, Like, Create a plan live consciously, You know, Buy less stuff. You know and work less is, You know, Figure out how, What you need to do to your life to be able to work less. And then do that. When I designed my business I specifically designed it where my clients were two weeks a month. So, Now that I don't do a lot of courses other stuff for my business I do but for the most part I kind of just when I'm working with clients and doing most of my stuff, Other than little things here and there basically I work like eight days a month. That's it. Now of course my bills are lower over here and I'm sure most people couldn't do that, But it took me years to get here. You know, And it took a lot of downsizing, You know, And like I said, It's. I mean I did that when I lived in the United States I didn't work much more than that. I worked a little more, But not much more than that. Why? Because I designed my life like that. My goal wasn't just to make money. It was to live a happy life. That was my goal. So that's what I did. I created a happy life. Do I have as much money as a lot of people that I know that are my age? Nope. I have a lot less money than a lot of people I know my age. And it doesn't have to be like that. I mean I see abundance coming into me as I move forward. There are many ways to make money and I see that happening. So it's not time equals money. We don't have to live like that. That's a mental construct too. It can play a part. If we put our happiness first and things that we think we want second, You know, Then all of a sudden we stop making different decisions. The reason that we make our decisions is because we think we need all these things unconsciously. And this isn't, You know, Judgmental. I mean we all do it. I mean I still do it. You know, I was saying recently like I still have too much stuff over here. It takes two, Three weeks to get something from Amazon and I still order too much stuff. And I have to pay five bucks a pound for when it gets delivered over here. And I still have too much stuff. So I mean I'm not perfect. It's just these are things that we can look on. And if you have happiness as your goal and everything else underneath that, Then what happens is your brain starts making decisions differently. So it's, You know, It's like when you look at something and you go, Oh, You know, Oh I have this mortgage. I have to pay my mortgage. I have to pay my mortgage. Oh, Okay. Well then I have to work. Well, Yeah, Yeah. Okay. And if that's all you're looking at, Then that's all you're going to see. But if you go like, What, You know, What would make me happy? Well, I work too much. More free time would make me happy. Oh, Okay. Well, What can I let go of? You know, Can I go on, Could I work less and go on one vacation a year instead of two? Could I work less and maybe downsize my house? Could I not have a new car? Could I trade that in? Could I like, Could I go out to eat one time less a week? Could I like, Your brain starts figuring out ways to work less. If your goal is, If you want to be happy and you think happiness is working less, Then your brain will start figuring out ways to do that. So, So hopefully that answers. And I know I'm going to go back, You know, This was obviously mostly about, This all rolled really nicely. Thank you guys. Thank you, Maria and Nicole specifically. And everybody that commented. But this definitely had a theme. So I'm going to leave that theme for the most part. And just so you, I am going to answer a question that Sarah asked in the beginning though, Before I go. And man, I've already been on for an hour. It's insane how the time flies. So I'm going to let you guys know now, Before I answer that question. On loving nation dot org, That new platform I have, There's a spot where you can sign up for a 10 part course that I did. And if you sign up, You get put into a exclusive group for those members anyway, Only. And it's normally, Well, Conservatively $100 value. But like anybody, I'm trying to get people over to that community and I'm trying to expose things and it's the holidays. So like this, This course, It's a 10 part course that I recorded. And it's just 25 bucks. So, You know, That's a frickin' meal. And it's a 10 part course that you can begin anytime, Private community included. As people start signing up, There's questions that go with each lesson that in the community, You can answer those questions or you can ask further questions and you can expand on all this stuff. And it's on a private group. So you guys are going to start forming community on there. You guys can support each other, Help each other, Give different perspectives. And I'm going to be hopping on there and answering these questions and guiding things and stuff like that. So, So, Yeah, It's just a nice little thing to bring some, You know, To bring some peace. It transcends suffering through love. So like, You know, We all suffer and struggle in our lives to some degree. And the answer is always love. So this is, You know, A very structured way that I go through, You know, Explaining what that means, Explaining the dynamics of it, Showing you what it looks like as you implement it, Showing you how to implement it deeper to be the change that you want to see, All that stuff. So it's all a 10 part course that can really help. So check that out. Join. Like I said, It's 25 bucks. And it's on lovingnation. Org. You should see it. If you don't see it for some reason, Shoot me an email. Glenn at Glenn Ambrose dot com. Two N's in Glenn. Glennon. Glennonon, As my brother-in-law says. I think my sister might have said that when I was a kid. OK, So, Yes. So this was what I want to touch on. Sarah, How to best be of help to those who feel depressed this time of year. Let's see. OK, Switch switch gears, Glenn. You know, Depression is a very specific energy. I do have a podcast on seasonal depression, So you can probably go to my podcast wherever you watch it or listen to it and put in a key word. Depression or seasonal. And it should pop up. So that's going to be a more in-depth answer. But I believe that's what it's called. Depression is non-movement, You know, So you have to be careful that people get caught in their heads and don't move. You know, Oh, It's it's the overwhelm thing. Oh, And then they just shut down and then they don't move. And it's, You know, We don't have to get depressed. I think part of the reason that we get depressed this time of year is because the days are shorter, Especially over there, Because, You know, We don't do daylight savings time, Which is nice because like now it's it's eight o'clock over here. You know, Where it's only seven for you guys, Which four or five o'clock, That makes a big difference. So part of the reason that the depression kicks in is because we're not conditioned to go with nature. We try to resist nature and, You know, Daylight savings time, I don't think is necessarily nature, But but even without that, The days get shorter. So, You know, It gets colder. What is nature doing at this time of year? You know, Especially in the Northeast, Of course, That's what we're talking about. So the Northeast is it's cold and it's dark. So that is telling us to go within what animals do. They hibernate. Right. So it's to go within, Find comfort within, You know, It's OK to stay in your house more. It's but like if you do it with intention where you go, You know what? No, I'm just going to I'm going to love myself. I'm going to sit by the fire or or a little electric wood stove, Fake wood stove that I used to have. You know, I'm just going to sit in front of that and I'm within a blanket and I'm just going to be still and relax and give myself some downtime like that. This is a beautiful time of year to do that, You know. And so so embrace what nature is telling us to do instead of resisting it. Go with nature. There's rhythms. We're supposed to be more active in the summertime. We're supposed to be more, You know, Closed and just slow down a little bit in the wintertime. It's OK. You know, You can do that. Thinking that we're not supposed to do that often leads to depression. If you just embrace it, The same thing doesn't bother you. Right. So that's one. And then the other thing is, Is, Of course. The holidays and that's completely self-induced, You know, I mean, We've got to take responsibility for our for our own actions. It's time to it's time for us to grow up a little bit. You know, There there's we have to grow up and take responsibility for our lives like this. You know, I develop my own pet peeves. One of my pet peeves is when people say, You know, They took the Christ out of Christmas. Oh, Really? And exactly how the hell did they do that? And who is they? Like. That's absurd to me. How can. Like Christmas is what you make it. Everything is what you make it. Like Valentine's Day is what you make it. If you if you're not in a relationship and you don't feel like celebrating Valentine's Day, It's just another Tuesday. You know, Like nobody has control over the meaning of Christmas. Like who they took the Christ out of. Who the hell is they? What, Wal-Mart? You mean Wal-Mart because they put happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. So they took Christ out of Christmas? No, They didn't. They put up a freakin happy holiday sign to maybe not offend other people that celebrate Hanukkah. What about them? They they don't deserve a happy Hanukkah sign. Like, I mean, Who gives a crap what sign freakin Wal-Mart puts up? You know, Jesus is in your heart, Man. Christ consciousness is in you. Nobody can take that away from you. I don't give a crap what society does. We blame society like it's it's a thing. Society isn't a thing. Society is made up of a bunch of people. And I don't give a flying screw how many people say that Christmas is about buying presents or what they won't say it. They'll just act like it. Right. Oh, It's Christmas is so I'm so stressed out. It's Christmas. I wish they didn't take the Christ out of Christmas. Oh, My God. You did that. You took the Christ out of Christmas. You decided to spend five thousand dollars on everybody's Christmas presents. You decided you had to have 13 course meal. You decided you you had to have 24 people over. You decided you had to have the biggest tree. You decided you needed to get the freakin new freakin ornaments every year. You decided you needed to have a good picture of your Christmas tree with the most fashionable freakin ornaments from Macy's this year. If they're even still open, Like I mean, Like nobody is doing this stuff to you. You're doing it. So if you're stressed out from the holidays, It's because you're putting stress on yourself. Society says things and had these standards and all they are is belief systems. So all you have to do is just go, No, I'm not buying into that one. No, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. So that's that's the way I'm going to act during Christmas season. Yeah, Just do that. It works amazingly well. It works amazingly well when we take responsibility for our lives and stop worrying about what the rest of the world is doing or what the rest of the world is telling us we should be doing. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Nobody can take Christ out of your Christmas. You know, Nobody can make you have a bunch of people over. Nobody can make you buy a bunch of presents. If you have stress for all those things happening around this time of year, That's because you're putting the stress on yourself. You're telling yourself that you need to do that. Society doesn't have that control over you. It's just a belief system. You just go, No, I'm not doing that. Oh, Well, You're a bad person. OK, Sorry you feel that way. I'm going to go praise Jesus Christ on his birthday. Doesn't cost a dime. No pressure. Actually relieves pressure. Makes you feel really nice. Wow, That was magic. How did Glenn do that? He just took all the stresses of the holidays and completely imploded them all and landed in a peace and love. It's just perspective, People. You know, It's just how we're looking at things. And the biggest aspect of it all is slowing down and looking at this stuff, Asking questions, Dissect things. Don't listen to what the public is saying. Don't listen to a meme. You know that these the reason why people connect with the meme that they took Christ out of Christmas. It's because it's catchy. That's it. It makes zero sense. Nada. Zero zilch. No sense whatsoever. But it sounds catchy. Is that what is that what determines how you live your life, Whether you're happy or whether you're not happy, Whether a meme is catchy or not? Like, Come on, We got to get a little bit more depth here. We need to don't believe something just because it sounds catchy. Look into it and see, Does it make me happy? Is it joyful? Does it enhance my life to adopt this as a belief system? No. Okay, Then don't adopt it as a belief system. It's just simply not easy. We have to agree to it. Like the Christ being taken out of Christmas has literally caused much heartache, Inner suffering, And perhaps mental trauma, Literally mental trauma to many people around the globe. Just the idea that Christ has been taken out of Christmas, Much inner turmoil, Stress, Disease has been probably caused because of the turmoil and the stress going on within people's bodies because they're scared that Jesus isn't around anymore because society doesn't like Jesus. And it's like, It's all a facade. It's not actually true. It doesn't mean anything, Man. Christ consciousness is within you, Like your relationship with Jesus or Christ or any other loving thing is a one on one relationship between you and it. Nobody can take that away. It's literally impossible. Impossible. You could have 8 billion people on the planet stand up all at once and say there is no such thing as Jesus Christ. And you could be the 8 billion and walk first person on the planet and you could be the own literally the only one on the planet, Only one in the entire globe that says, I love Jesus and I have a wonderful relationship in my heart with him, And you'll be fine. With 8 billion people against you because it's internal. You know, This is what I mean, Like society's belief systems and the way these things that cause controversy and depression and fear and all this stuff. It holds no water when you really think about it. It makes no sense and it actually impacts people's lives. Maybe you people listening didn't go that far with the emotional turmoil about Christ being taken out of Christmas, But people have. People have gotten into arguments with their family and their friends and broken up relationships because of this. Isn't that absurd? Most things that we argue about are that absurd. It's just the belief system. You get to choose what you want to believe in and what you don't want to believe in. You know, So the stress we the stress that we have we put on ourselves. So reframe things, Create your own standards for your own life that fit you and make sense and are logical and can can and you can lean into creating a life that you actually enjoy. So there, There, Hopefully that helps. This mouse is slow to move. So DivineDao8, Excellent question. Thank you. So that was about Maria's question, I believe. Cindy loves a rainy night. It is okay to get wet. Like sometimes over here that the girls go dancing out in the rain, My neighbors when it's raining and stuff. It's, It's okay if we get a little wet, We'll dry. And Sarah, I always remember two ends and Glenn after you said people ask if it's short for Glenifer. Yeah, People, You'd be shocked at some of the things that people do with my name. Oh my God. It's, It's pretty funny. All right, People. Thanks for joining me. Thank you for questions. I really liked how this one I liked how it kind of hopped into a theme and followed it all the way through. So, You know, That was started by Nicole and followed up with by Maria. And, And then even, You know, Even when, When I went to Sarah's question there towards the end, It tied everything in, You know, There's a lot of similarities about the stress that we put on ourselves, And what causes our depression and function it's all illusionary, You know. So that will do it. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you. And I will talk with you soon. Where's my Oh, I gotta go. Someday I'm going to get used to how to end this thing. Maybe. Take care. Enjoy your holidays, And a very Happy New Year to y'all. For more, Check out over 200 episodes of life lessons and laughter, Or click the link in the description of this episode to connect with Glenn directly.