The Simple Blueprint To Life Balance - Mindset Reset

Balance and fulfillment go hand-in-hand. To be out of balance means to be at odds with yourself, to be in a space where what you want and need are out of alignment with where you are. Yet, most women will say they are fulfilled but don’t live balanced lives. This mindset reset was born from the question: I've realized the root of my anxiety generally comes down to never feeling like I have balance. I was hoping you could help me know how to make changes to create more life balance. How can get into balance so I can release what isn't serving me?

Transcript

Balance and fulfillment go hand in hand. To be out of balance means to be at odds with yourself, To be in a space where what you want and need are out of alignment with where you are. Yet most women will say they are fulfilled in their lives, But don't live balanced lives. This is an oxymoron. It's really impossible. Valentina from Puerto Rico wrote in and said, Danielle, I am a member of your women's circle and I was working through the exercise, Getting to the root of anxiety. The first words that you wrote in the exercise are, Anxiety can own us. However, If we get to the root of our anxiety, We have the power to change the story that's happening within our minds. I've been sitting with those words for a few days and I realized that the root of my anxiety generally comes down to never feeling like I have balance. While I see that there are some exercises in the circle regarding balance, I was hoping that you could help me know how to make real life changes to help create more balance in my life beyond meditation or journaling. Are there some steps? This is an excellent question. A side note, I will actually post a link to the exercise that Valentina is mentioning in the show notes if you want to check that out. So how can we change our overall life balance? What are these steps? And this is surprisingly straightforward. It all hinges on exactly what you mentioned, Valentina, Sitting with it, Asking yourself some firm questions and committing to living the answers you uncovered. So let's dive in to five beginning steps to putting balance in place. Now, These are the beginning steps, Right? Because balance is like anything that we do. It is a practice and it is a moving target. Sometimes we have great balance and it happens innately and other times it takes our focus. So this is for the times that we need to focus and bring ourselves back into balance. So the first thing that you ask yourself is, What do I want? Very simple question. But the word I is extremely important. I didn't say, What do your children, Your spouse, Parents, Boss, Sibling, Best friends want? I said, What do you want? And here you're gonna get down to the truth of what you really want. When we are out of balance, We are often there because we have failed to remember that we have needs and wants. You have probably heard me say that we can't shift what we do not witness and this is the truth. So what do I want? I want you to know that getting down to what you want isn't going to take just a minute or two. This is a process. It could take two days, Five days, 15 days. It really doesn't matter how long. What we are trying to do is establish the need and the want. So don't rush it. Think about what you want. Don't overthink, Don't ruminate, But just give it some healthy thought. And then when you know what you want, I want you to sit on it for at least, This is a minimum of 48 hours before you move into step two. And when you are ready, Step two is to double check. Ask yourself, Is what I said I wanted really what I want? Our answers can really differ when we give ourselves a bit of time to think about it, To sit on it, To step a bit away from it. So again, This could be a small shift in what you need and want, Or it could be a massive complete shift. Well, That's what I thought I wanted, But no, I actually want this. An example would be, I had a client recently do this exercise and her want was to get a promotion. After she sat with that want, She realized she actually didn't want a promotion at her current job. What she really wanted was change. She felt like she was in a rut. She wanted more for herself and she wanted to be challenged by new opportunities. The first statement of I want a promotion was true, But it wasn't the whole truth. This is why we sit with our answer. When we know what keeps us out of balance, We can devise a plan to get us back into balance. Next in our path to making change to create balance, We ask ourselves a third question, And that is, What am I not paying attention to in my life right now? In the case of wanting a promotion, She wasn't paying attention to why she felt that way. So again, Here we're drilling down. Maybe for you, You're not honoring yourself the way that you should, Making yourself a priority. Whatever the case may be, What you're not focusing on could shift and be the exact reason and thing that you need to unlock your sense of balance, Right? So I'm lacking doing this, And if I did that, I would have balance. Sometimes the answer to this question really does impact your original want. So give yourself some time to make any necessary adjustments or modifications to your original thought or goal. That's very important too. And this part can be really confusing to some, So let me give you yet another example. Say you want more free time, Right? That's a thing for a lot of moms, A lot of women. And say that you feel like if you had more free time, You could create that balance that you so desire. But in all of that, You also have a longstanding habit of taking on new things because you get excited about a possibility or you really want to dive into something new because it makes you feel alive. But in doing that, You ignore the real consequence of taking on something new. And of course, That would be a greater lack of free time. When we start paying attention, We realize that sometimes we self-sabotage our original wants and needs in hopes of sort of brain hacking or life hacking our way into balance, Into groundedness, And it never works. So how can we create balance here? And it really is by paying attention and making sure that we are slowing down and meeting the true want. So that question would be like, If I do this, Would it allow me more free time? Well, No, It doesn't. It eats up the time that I don't have. Yes, I'm interested in this project or class or even relationship sometimes, But I don't have time right now. So I'm going to put it on the back burner or my to-do list for a later time. Step four in our plan is what is the easiest step that I can take right now, Today, Or this week to help me get to my want? This is very important. Having identified what you want, Making an agreement with yourself on the steps you're going to take to get there, Now we have to know what we're going to do, Right? What's the action point? Here, We're going to create a plan. I want you to imagine a few pieces that you can put into place that are tangible, Right? Because a lot of times we're like, Oh, I want to lose 30 pounds. That's my want. But really below that is I want more energy so that I can play with my kids, Right? What am I going to do to get there? I am going to work out for three hours. Well, Is it tangible? Is that a true and likely thing that you're going to do each day? Probably not. You probably can commit to 30 minutes to an hour, But three probably is a little bit far-stretching. So I want you to imagine real, Tangible steps. Can those tangible steps be habits that you can work on to help you really stay centered in your focus, To create balance? The last piece of our balance shift is to agree with yourself, To make promises with yourself that you are going to stay focused and that you will actually take time to review where you are from time to time. This is so important, Right? So this is something that I teach when we talk about goals. This is the same thing. This is very important in any habit that you're trying to create. We want you to take time to review, Set your goals up front. So in the beginning, When you're talking about really working towards anything, I want you to say, In two weeks, I'm going to check in to see where I am. And you keep track. You know, Am I being mindful about creating focus, Creating balance? Am I being mindful in anything that I want to do? Am I keeping myself in the center of it? And in the beginning, Again, Like I said, Two weeks, Maybe moving a little bit further out, You're gonna check in every quarter or every six months. Some say do this on your birthday, But I'm going to tell you, I think that's a terrible plan. Don't do anything like heavy reviews or sort of these drilling down of where we are in our lives on special days. Because if you're not where you want to be, Think about how you're going to feel on this special day. So New Year's, Your birthday, Holidays, That kind of stuff, Leave it for another time, Right? That's just my two cents there, But seriously, Make it a regular event. This is really the step-by-step guide that we use. It seems simple. It's a little harder in practice, But I want you to remember that balance is about feeling good. It's about holding space for yourself. It's about giving yourself permission to do what you need and want so that you can reach a place where you are able to offer yourself grace, Self-love, Inner peace, And a willingness to show up for yourself. Balance is an essential part of feeling fulfilled. And like everything that we do, I said it in the beginning, This takes practice. So get to practicing balance. It's a life skill, Right? We have to practice life skills. So I hope this gives you some tools and some insight on how to make this work for you. Thank you again for the great question, Valentina. I challenge each of you to find balance and to reset your mindset. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode, Which originally aired on the Get Your Life Together Girl podcast. Please take the time to review this conversation and follow me here on Insight Timer for more courses, Meditations, And additional conversations. Until next time, Be kind to yourself and others.