Being An Outsider

Are you an outsider? Or do you have the feeling of being one? This podcast will give you an new vision on what it is to be an outsider and that you are special. Listen and learn that your way is the highway and not the B-road like others take.

Transcript

Being an outsider.

Yeah,

You click on this podcast for the reason that you are an outsider or you know people who are.

In other words,

You know what I'm talking about.

But are you sure you know what I'm talking about?

Let me tell you my life story as a sample of being everywhere and belonging nowhere.

As a very young child,

Heavily asthmatic in the 60s,

I was not strong and had to fight the bullies in school and on the street all the time.

My early childhood was a continued process of fighting the groups of low class bullies in my primary schools and in the streets.

Being weak in body does not imply that you are weak in mind.

My very traditional religious parents wanted the best for me and brought me to swimming lessons.

As the doctor did advise so and finally I was accepted at the age of 4 at the judo classes.

That was a big step already.

Judo was the only defense sport at that moment available in our neighborhood.

Until the age of 11 I had very regular serious attacks and I had to be taken to hospital for treatment.

Many near death experience followed.

At different times they had to reanimate me as I did wait until the last possible moment and had lost conscious already before my sisters and parents found me.

When you were seriously ill it is important to stay active and I did pick up different studies and interests.

I did enjoy studying and fighting arts,

Both of them very much,

And decided to combine both in an anthropological study of fighting arts and the world tribes.

Until 14 I spent most of my time training and studying and hang out with very few boys and most of the time the girls of the neighborhood.

The reason why the girls did choose me was that I looked,

Did not bother them and did not constantly sexual harass them.

With some I could have an interesting talks and they needed protection against some of the street boys and later on the gangs.

Fighting at that time became a routine for me and the street fighting was still relatively clean with fists and in my case the legs and other things were added.

During this time I did pick up sports like karate,

Takundo,

Aikido,

Boxing,

Muay Thai and athletics.

Beside the sport I did study very hard and was top of my class all the time in several subjects.

The combination of brains and fighting was unheard of and in both sides not accepted.

It was not considered possible to have brains and love fighting arts.

Both sides did consider that as weird and I was automatically seen as an outsider.

Both sides did not trust me because they were not able to put a label on me and put me in the same box as they were in.

Becoming an outsider is relatively simple and it happens a lot to many people.

People make you an outsider when they do not understand you.

Most people that become outsider will take that role in silence and suffer under it.

Others will see it as an advantage and become leaders as they will turn the differences into strengths of manipulation,

Influencing and overpowering others.

But most of us outsiders must make time to find a way how to deal with their personal differences and the fact that whatever they try it will hardly ever be accepted by the people in their environment.

My saving was the fact that my parents did move to a complete other neighborhood where I had to go to different schools,

Make new friends and start a new life.

Later I went back to the old neighborhood to see those old people and asked them about the reasons why they act as they did.

The answer was nearly the same with everybody I had a talk with.

They did consider me different as I had different parents,

My interests were strange,

They did not understand why a nerd could fight and most of all they did not like my talking as most of it they did not understand.

These talks did enlighten me with the knowledge that most of the time you become an outsider just because the people near you do not understand you.

So I was wondering what they did understand of each other and what made them the personalities they become.

Their first fact was that their common interests were their most important and they could talk about these interests for hours,

Go to the same places and share the same ideas.

Another important part is that the people select enemies that could be ignored,

Bullied,

Pastured,

Insulted and humiliated just for the fun of doing so.

When I ask if they ever had any consideration for the victim they told me that they felt so when they were alone with the victim or at home but this feeling was gone immediately when they met their friends again.

The fact was that choosing victims was also a common interest of the individuals and the group to show the power of unity.

Most interesting was that they all were able to put personal likings,

Ideas and feelings away to be related to the friends and the group.

In fact they were able to hide their true personalities as much as possible to be accepted as a part of their group and their friends.

This implies that the outsiders are less able to put aside their personalities to be able and socialize than those insiders do.

Another point of difference outsiders have from insiders is a good imagination and often a strong fantasy.

Outsiders can see things different as they have a larger portion of their brain reserved for their dream world.

A world full of ideas,

Imagination and sometimes complete fantasies.

Some outsiders are able to create fantasy friends or even more fantasy worlds.

These fantasies cannot be shared with others as they do not share our vision,

Our thoughts and cannot follow any of it.

The mass people say we are weird,

That we are able to use our brains in such vivid ways but maybe it's the opposite indeed.

Mass people do limit their personal capacities to belong to a group.

They do not dare to open their mind for the reality of life and living.

They are scared of being different,

Being a single creature among all other individuals.

They do not understand that being a part of the mass,

That the group is not the purpose of life,

It is a destiny that the people seek.

They want to be a part of a community to silence their thoughts and to limit their actions.

Insiders also are willing to be a part of the group to follow others.

They do not want to think for themselves.

They prefer to live an insignificant life and disappear in earth phase without a trace,

Like the ends of the mountains.

So being a follower is more important to them than being a leader,

A sample or whatever like that.

They do not dare to do it.

And how can we make the life of the outsider bearable and more joyful?

That will be our question.

Our first move is to learn to let it go,

Accept to be different and that you do not have or will find the connection with the groups near you.

That is often a very big step as it also proves you are not one of them and you do not belong at that place.

You must physically leave.

Many times it is toxic to stay at a certain place for a too long time.

It will pollute your mind and your will grow a lot of negative thoughts.

When you move to a new place do not make the same mistake to try hard to fit in.

Accept your position as an outsider and do the normal things everybody is doing.

Do your job,

Go to school,

Find places for your hobbies and you will meet people with like-minded minds.

These connections come naturally without any force and are often the best of your life.

If you are not able to move anywhere you have to find another way.

Your first goal is to build skills that can be used to protect yourself and others to make a living.

Trying to be one of them is dangerous as they will never accept you and finally it will end up blaming you for mistakes they made.

Do not expect a worthy understanding of any help from a group oriented people as they always seek the weak link to blame all their failures.

Show that you are different,

Get skills they do not have,

They may even need or desire it.

These skills must be attached to you as a person and not such things as tools,

Products,

Houses or cars.

They will try to steal or take it from you to show their power over you and if they cannot take it they will destroy it.

This accounts also for people in the workplace.

Do not expect others to be on your side when you think you need them.

Is that a lonely lifestyle?

No it is not as you are aware of things that they are not aware of.

Most of these people do not realize that they are the same individual as you are and when the group has no longer a use or a need for them they will be kicked out or worse.

An outsider is a person who is aware of things others are not aware of and when you look around in the world you can see and feel the increase of people who are outsiders.

More and more people become aware of who they are,

What they are and are looking around with a more open mind,

With open eyes and the feeling that things are different than they really look.

The real conclusion of this lecture is that we are all outsiders but most do not realize it yet and we,

The outsiders,

Are just one step ahead of them.

We are not behind the group but we are in the front row.

We are the spearhead of development and uniqueness.

That is our power and at the same time it is the treasure that others want.

So be careful to guard your treasure and be prepared for the worst.

If you like to be more active and interact with me directly please leave a note here,

Send an email or send me a whatsapp message under the number 31628096907.

Happy day and go with my warm greetings.

Bye now.