The Orange Exercise

Hello Insight Timer,

I'm Esther Perel with an exercise to help you regain presence as a pathway to desire.

So,

Pick a fruit,

Pick two if you want.

I took this sumo orange because I love the contrast between the roughness of the outside and the delicious juiciness on the inside.

I like the texture that is so easy to peel off,

So you just literally,

It just goes easy,

Easy,

Easy,

Nothing to do.

And inside,

That contrast between rough and soft and meaty and juicy,

I mean,

It is poetic,

Literally,

It's not just peeling an orange.

And then,

You do the smell.

So often,

We just put it in our mouth,

We don't really smell it.

It is a delight of nature,

All those fruits that we have,

They have a smell and we are familiar with that smell.

It's often a smell that takes us back all the way to childhood.

And then,

There is the sound of the peeling,

Just being fully,

Fully,

Fully attentive.

I'm smelling it again and maybe I actually rub it gently around my face,

My neck,

My hands.

Just because touching ourselves,

Not just in sexual terms,

Touching ourselves,

Washing ourselves,

Not just to clean it with another,

You know,

An object,

But to actually treat it,

Take care of it,

Delight in it,

That is what brings the sense of aliveness.

Play with it.

I'm going to play with it.

Try to actually keep it as long as you can in your mouth.

Don't rush.

It's really hard for me,

Actually,

As well.

I tend to just say,

It's so good,

So I want more,

But no,

Just keep it.

You can do this alone,

But you can also do it when you have a partner with you,

Because it's playful.

To actually feed somebody else,

To put a slice of something inside their mouth and have them savour it,

It's the same idea.

You can play with the orange on somebody else's body,

On somebody else's skin,

On somebody else's sense of smell and scent.

It goes back and forth,

But it is all about presence.

It is the presence that actually creates the erotic experience,

The curiosity,

The aliveness,

The vibrancy,

The radiance,

The imagination.

They all demand attention.

Attention is the thing these days that is just being squandered or completely trampled,

For that matter.

Either it's used for cheap stuff,

Either it actually is very,

Very difficult to maintain it.

Everything is fast,

Get it done,

Get it done.

Savouring,

Pleasure,

Delight,

Eroticism,

The pleasure for its own sake,

All demand the opposite.

They are the opposite of comfort,

Of efficiency,

Of quick.

They all take place in time and in space.

Enjoy your orange.