Love And Desire

Join world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel for a reflective writing exercise that explores the difference between love and desire. You'll discover what arises when you contemplate love versus desire, uncovering the unique sensations and emotions each awakens. Through this practice, you'll gain clarity on how these two experiences interweave in your own life, and whether they feel separate or deeply connected for you.

Transcript

I would like to give you a little activity, An exercise that I use in my practice. When I think of love, What comes to mind? What do I experience? And when I think of desire, What do I think about? I want you to take a page. Just divide it in two. Top left, When I think of love, I think of. . . Just three images, Associations, Words. When I love, I feel. Images, Thoughts, Words, Associations. When I am loved, I feel. And if you happen to be in a relationship, And when I think about the love between me and my partner. On the other side, When I think of sexuality, When I think of desire, What comes to mind is? When I desire, I feel. When I am wanted, I feel. And when I think about desire between you and me, If you are in a partnership at this moment. And just look at the words. You will see for yourself. There are certain words that always come up in the category love, That are not necessarily present in the category desire. And they have to do with warmth. In sex, The temperature is not about warmth, It's about heart. Feeling powerful. In love, We don't necessarily talk about feeling powerful. In desire, We often do. So look at your own words. For some of you, You will see that love and desire are inseparable. One leads to the other. They are in a dialogue with each other. For others, You will notice that they are sometimes irretrievably disconnected. They exist in different realms of experience. So, They relate and they conflict.