Jacob was never one to think of death,
And most certainly not his own.
Until that day.
Jacob was 20 and living away from home for the summer,
Working at a youth camp in Nova Scotia.
It was a great job and an even better summer.
Looking back on it now,
It is hard to believe that they all didn't get sent home,
Given all the fun that they had.
Sure,
They all did their jobs and worked hard.
However,
The term work hard,
Play harder was definitely on full display that summer.
The last day at the camp could only be described as perfect,
Both for its beauty and its tragedy.
Jacob had just finished seeing the last bus of kids pull out of the camp.
He remembered laughing as he watched them try to outdo one another,
Making silly faces pressed against the bus windows.
And then,
Of course,
There were others who decided buttocks were better to preserve a lasting memory for all of the counselors.
And to this day,
They would be right as the memory always brought a smile to Jacob's face.
After meeting with his peers for their last meal celebration,
He packed up all his things,
Got into his car,
And started what would be a three-day drive home to Toronto.
Given he planned to make a few stops along the way.
The first stop was at a provincial park located about three hours from the youth camp.
Though it would only be for the night,
Jacob had heard it was a must-see.
Having left later than he planned,
Darkness fell an hour into his drive.
And combined with the long day,
He found it a struggle to keep awake.
He decided to stop and close his eyes for twenty minutes.
After his short rest,
Feeling rejuvenated and awake,
He grabbed a large cup of coffee,
Topped up with some gas,
And headed back out on the road.
At the same moment Jacob restarted his drive,
Anna started hers.
Anna was nineteen and madly in love.
She and her boyfriend were having the most amazing summer.
For the past eight weeks,
They had been virtually inseparable.
Swimming,
Hiking,
Biking,
Canoeing,
And of course all the other things you do when you are nineteen and in love.
It was the perfect summer.
Until it wasn't.
Anna knew her boyfriend was only in town for the summer,
Doing an internship with a local business.
Although it was something that she tried not to think about.
In her mind,
They would figure out a way to stay together.
She could drive to see him one weekend and him to see her the next.
One way or another,
They would make it work,
Without question.
The only problem with Anna's plan was her boyfriend's plan ended at the end of summer.
And the end of summer had been tonight.
In fact,
The end of summer had been fifteen minutes ago.
In sobs,
Anna was doing her best to stay focused.
But the truth was,
She was driving her car without really driving her car.
It was like the car was driving itself.
Which was fine.
Until it wasn't.
The brain in all its mystery has one very special part.
It's called the amygdala.
One of its primary functions is in the creation of memories.
The best way to understand the amygdala is to think of it as a video camera,
Where each frame represents a picture.
And this picture is the memory we recall after the fact.
Every day.
In our regular day-to-day lives,
The amygdala,
Or rather our video camera,
Keeps a record of all our daily activity.
Not perfect in every detail,
But enough so that we can recall what we did earlier in the morning,
The week before,
Or ten years ago.
But an interesting thing happens when we encounter fear.
When we experience fear,
The amygdala,
Our video camera,
Jacks up the frame rate for the number of images it records.
If regular days,
Let's say,
Record at 30 frames per second,
Fearful events cause that number to skyrocket to like 960 frames per second.
And what happens when we see video shot at really high frame rates?
We see things happen in slow motion.
This is because the amygdala is laying many more frames of memory than normal.
And with these added frames comes far more detail for us to remember.
The moment Jacob's amygdala shot into high-speed mode,
He was perplexed to see his cell phone floating over top of the passenger seat,
As he watched the passenger side window shatter into a hailstorm of glass.
Looking at his steering wheel,
He saw it wickedly spin through his fingers,
Like it was possessed by some other force.
And then came the sudden realization.
The car was no longer rolling smoothly on its Goodyear all-season tires,
But around all four sides of the vehicle itself.
Door,
Roof,
Door,
Wheels,
Door,
Roof,
Door,
Wheels,
Door,
Roof.
It was like being in an amusement park ride.
The one where you spin around,
Stuck to the outside by sheer force.
Articles of clothing zipped past his head.
The novel his mother gave him,
He had yet to finish the last chapter.
His comb,
Toothbrush,
A flashlight,
His camera.
Gotta get those pictures developed.
A hiking boot.
Something just swirling around.
Around and around.
Suddenly,
Chunks of grass and dirt were coming into the car.
It was all a swirling mass of things everywhere.
And Jacob watched it all,
One frame at a time.
But out of it all,
The most amazing sight was witnessing his cup of coffee suddenly jump out of the cup holder,
Do two 360-degree flips,
Land briefly back onto the dashboard before disappearing out the now-vacant passenger side window,
All without losing a drop of coffee.
Frame by frame,
Jacob watched the entire scene unfold.
And it was all happening in slow motion.
And then suddenly,
It was all gone.
No more clothes,
Or dirt,
Or spinning.
A sense of peace.
Floating.
Wind rushing past him.
Like a dream.
Weightless.
Flying.
Such an amazing feeling.
Until it wasn't.
Darkness.
Soft,
Faraway voice.
Can you hear me?
Closer voice.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Darkness.
Are you okay?
Can you hear me?
Oh my god.
Please,
Can you hear me?
Darkness.
Don't move.
Just stay there,
Okay?
Darkness.
Ah,
Ah,
What happened?
You just had an accident.
Oh my god.
So sorry.
I can't believe this happened.
Please be okay.
Please God,
Please let him be okay.
Darkness.
Someone is coming.
Help is coming.
Hang in there,
Okay?
Please hang in there.
Darkness.
Sir?
Sir can you hear me?
Flash of light.
Darkness.
Shadows.
Noise.
Darkness.
I,
I'm really cold.
Don't worry.
We'll get you out of here in a minute.
You're going to be okay,
But don't try to move,
Okay?
Don't move.
Just try to relax.
Darkness.
Head hurts bad.
Just relax.
You're going to be okay.
Just try to relax.
Darkness.
Jacob remembered thinking he was having a dream.
The kind where you know you are dreaming but can't seem to wake up.
He heard Caucasian male,
MVA,
Head trauma.
He felt like he was floating.
He could feel sheets around him but it didn't feel like he was lying down.
More like being suspended.
When he opened his eyes,
It was blurry.
Someone took a light and shone it from one eye to the next,
Which was totally irritating.
He could feel something tight around his arm,
Squeezing harder and harder.
He tried to say something but as hard as he tried,
He couldn't get the words out.
Heck,
He couldn't even feel his mouth,
Let alone speak.
But before the darkness came again,
He saw a woman sitting near his feet.
He tried to smile at her but couldn't.
But she smiled at him.
And although he couldn't hear any words,
She seemed to say,
Don't worry,
I'm here.
You're going to be okay.
Darkness.
Whispers.
Quiet voices.
Beeping.
Darkness.
We may need to.
.
.
Darkness.
The swelling is still significant.
We may have to.
.
.
Darkness.
Suddenly a blinding light,
Like looking directly into the sun.
Jacob tried to close his eyes but no matter how hard he tried,
His eyelids would not close.
Finally after what seemed like forever,
Anna.
Hey,
There you are.
How are you feeling?
Jacob.
What is this?
Where am I?
Anna.
You were in a car accident.
A pretty bad one.
They brought you to emergency at the local hospital.
You were in the emergency for a while and then they brought you to this room.
As Anna said this,
She was looking around,
Appraising.
Pretty nice actually.
Jacob.
Ah,
Okay.
I don't even remember any of that.
I do remember seeing everything in my car,
Spinning around,
Which freaked me out.
And I remember hearing someone talking to me.
Wait,
Was that you?
Anna.
Yes,
Yes it was.
I felt so helpless to do anything.
All I could do was try to keep you awake.
Your head was bleeding really bad and I figured keeping you from falling asleep was the best thing I could do.
Jacob.
Well,
Thank you.
Actually my head feels pretty good right now.
Maybe they gave me some painkillers or something.
Anna.
It is probably the drugs.
No doubt they have some pretty good stuff in this place,
Right?
Jacob.
Ha,
Yeah,
You're probably right.
But one thing that is weird is that it is so quiet.
You'd think there would be more commotion in the hospital.
Anna.
Well,
It is pretty late and other than you,
There didn't seem to be a lot of action here tonight.
Thank God.
Jacob.
Okay.
Ah,
Geez,
Where are my manners?
How are you?
Are you hurt?
Anna.
I'm okay.
Yes,
Well,
I am now.
It was a little confusing right after the accident,
But once I got out of my car and realized what had happened,
I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
It was really touch and go there for a while.
You were in and out of it and I could tell your head was in bad shape.
I'm just glad the paramedics arrived when they did.
Jacob.
Yeah,
I really didn't know what was going on.
I do remember I was really frigging cold.
I really appreciate you staying with me.
It really helped a lot.
I don't know,
But the best way I can describe it was it helped me stay in the moment,
If that makes any sense.
Anna,
Actually it makes perfect sense.
That's exactly why I needed to stay with you until help arrived.
I just wanted to make sure you got through it okay.
Over the next what seemed like hours,
Anna and Jacob talked.
She told him about her love of animals and how she was going to school to be a veterinarian.
He told her about the youth camp and all the craziness they had that summer.
Anna had the funniest laugh and the more she laughed,
The more Jacob laughed.
They talked about life and their childhood.
They told each other jokes.
At one point they got into a heated rock paper scissors battle.
Anna won every round.
She always seemed to know what he was going to pick each time,
Which was totally frustrating but in a good way.
Jacob hoped it might go on forever until it didn't.
Anna.
Hey,
I wish I could stay longer but I really have to go and my veterinarian senses tell me you're going to be okay.
Jacob.
Oh,
Okay.
I wish you could stay.
I've really enjoyed talking with you.
Certainly better than being cooped up in this room by myself.
It was so kind of you to stay with me like this.
Thank you.
Anna.
It's the least I could do.
It meant just as much to me.
Probably in many ways,
Maybe even more.
I do have a favor to ask though.
Jacob.
Of course,
Anything.
Name it.
Anna.
Just enjoy it all.
Enjoy your life to the absolute fullest.
Don't hold back on anything that is in your heart.
Always remember how precious your time here is.
That's all I ask you to do.
Yeah,
That's it.
That's all.
Jacob.
Uh,
Okay.
Yes,
I absolutely will.
I will never forget this whole experience,
Especially having shared it with you.
Anna.
Good.
That's all I ask.
Okay then,
Please take care.
And most of all,
Enjoy the life ahead of you.
As Anna walked out the door,
Jacob called out.
Hey,
I didn't even get your name.
And a little more shyly or your number.
Anna poked her head back inside the room and said,
I'm pretty far away from here,
But you never know.
You might see me from time to time.
And with that she was gone.
As Jacob looked after her,
Hoping she would come back,
He suddenly was very tired.
So he closed his eyes to get some rest.
He was asleep instantly until he wasn't.
Quiet talking.
Gentle sobs.
Someone's hand on his arm.
The steady beat of his heart on the monitor.
Jacob wanted to open his eyes,
But they were so heavy,
But he kept trying.
Why was it so hard?
Finally,
After what seemed like forever,
He could feel his eyelids moving ever so slowly.
He saw his mother's hand on his arm.
His sister was at his right side,
Eyes swollen and red,
A tissue against her nose,
Sobbing.
His father was sitting at the foot of his bed with his head hanging down,
Arms draped across Jacob's shins,
A slight tremor in his hands.
His mother was the first to see his eyes were open and she let out a loud cry.
Jacob!
And with the cry of his name,
They were all on him,
Hugging him and giving thanks.
It felt like they all climbed into the bed with him.
How ironic it would be to survive the car accident,
But then die from being smothered by his family.
But he wasn't complaining.
It felt good.
They spent the first hour telling Jacob what had happened.
He learned the car accident was very serious.
The other driver had missed a stop sign and driven through an intersection at the same time as Jacob.
The force of the impact had caused his car to flip a number of times,
Resulting in him being ejected from the vehicle.
The doctor believed what saved Jacob's life was the ditch he landed into.
It was marsh-like with a considerable amount of groundwater cushioning his impact greatly.
The strange thing was,
Jacob didn't remember hitting the ground at all,
Although his head sure felt like it hit something.
Based on the location and extent of his head trauma,
The doctor believed Jacob struck his head on the door frame as he ejected the vehicle.
Ejected.
Such an interesting word.
Up until this point in Jacob's life,
The only thing he had ever been ejected from was a rec league hockey game in which he decided to explicitly tell the referee how little the man knew about hockey.
And to be sure the ref understood exactly what Jacob meant,
He also included various hand signs to aid his colorful diatribe.
Now that is what you call getting ejected.
Jacob,
What do you mean I have been here for three weeks?
Mother,
When you came into the emergency,
Your brain was swelling and they couldn't get it to stop.
So in order to allow your brain time to heal,
They put you in a medically induced coma.
A coma?
What are you talking about?
I've been awake since I got here.
I've barely slept a couple of hours.
Mother,
The doctor said you might be confused when you woke up.
He also said you might not recall much or have any memory of the accident.
Jacob,
I don't have much memory of the accident itself,
But I certainly remember not being in a coma for three weeks.
Mother,
For now,
Just try to get some rest.
The doctor said what is most important is rest.
We are all here for you.
Just know we are here and we're not going anywhere.
As Jacob tried to process this,
He suddenly was very tired again,
And in an instant he was fast asleep.
Over the next 24 hours,
Jacob was in and out of consciousness.
Among other random dreams,
He kept going back to his conversations with the girl from the accident.
He wished he had gotten her name,
And he wished more he would see her again.
All of a sudden,
With this thought,
Jacob woke up.
His mother was the only one in the room,
And she instantly brightened up when she noticed his eyes were partially opened.
Mother,
Hey sweetheart,
How are you?
You feeling any better?
Jacob,
Yeah,
I guess.
Maybe a little.
Head still really hurts,
Though.
Mother,
The doctor said your head should start to feel normal again in another few weeks,
But he said the headache should start to go away in a few days.
I told the doctor you're thick-headed,
So we expect you to be just fine,
Although he didn't seem to be very impressed with that comment.
Jacob,
Just remember,
Mom,
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Mother,
Well that's your father's side of the tree then.
And they both laughed,
Although Jacob had to stop himself because it hurt too much.
Mother,
Oh honey,
Sorry,
Please just rest.
I'm going to go down and let your father and sister know you are awake.
I think they would both like to say hi for a few minutes if you're up for it.
Jacob,
Yes,
Of course,
I would like to see them too.
Hey mom,
Was there a girl here?
Mother,
A girl?
What do you mean?
Jacob,
There was a girl in the other car.
She stayed with me at the accident and rode back in the ambulance.
She came to visit me in my room when I got out of emergency.
Mother,
Well,
No,
No one mentioned a girl.
The car driving behind the person who ran the stop sign witnessed the accident and called 911.
I didn't ask about the other car.
Gosh,
I can't believe I didn't do that.
Jacob,
Okay,
Well,
When you get a chance,
Can you please ask one of the nurses or the doctor?
I would really like to try and find her.
Thank her again for staying with me.
She didn't look like she was seriously hurt,
But I'm sure she would have talked with someone,
Even the police,
Right?
Mother,
Of course,
Jacob,
I will see what I can find out.
Shortly after his mother had left,
His dad and sister came in.
They both looked like they hadn't slept in days,
Which he was sure they hadn't.
His family had always been close.
It didn't matter what activity was being enjoyed or what special occasion was being celebrated.
They were always together.
Unlike some of his friends,
Jacob liked being with his family.
It was something he hoped would never change.
Although his sister did say if he did anything like this again,
She would personally kill him.
Now that's love,
Right?
Jacob,
Hey,
I know this might seem like a strange request,
But was there any news story of the accident?
Sister,
Actually,
Yes,
There was.
I kept a copy of the newspaper.
I figured you'd want to look at it,
Although I can't say why.
His sister handed him the paper.
It's on page eight.
Jacob took the paper and slowly turned to page eight.
His heart was beating so fast.
His breathing quickened and his palms started sweating.
And there it was,
A picture of two cars.
Well,
What was left of two cars.
There were some quotes from the driver who had seen the accident.
I was in disbelief.
The car in front of me didn't even slow down.
I don't even think I saw the brake lights flash.
And all of a sudden it was like a bomb going off in front of me.
Jacob read some comments from the arriving police officer who used words like force of impact and ejected from vehicle.
But it was the last quote that stunned Jacob to the core.
The driver of the first car was pronounced dead at the scene.
And further down,
Jacob saw a picture of the deceased.
Her name was Anna Stevens,
19 years of age,
A veterinarian student.
It was her,
And Jacob started to cry.
Not because of the pain in his head,
But from the pain in his heart.
The pain of realizing that seeing Anna again in this life would not be possible.
Two weeks later,
Jacob finally left the hospital.
Still not quite himself,
But good enough to go home.
Good enough to get back into the world and the life awaiting him.
But part of him would always be at that hospital.
It was where he shared that magical time with Anna.
And while it was only for a brief moment,
It was one he would never forget.
Because he made a promise to Anna.
He would live his life to the fullest,
Never look back.
And in doing so,
He would honor Anna's life alongside his own.
Jacob told his family about Anna,
How she helped him,
How she stayed with him until she knew he would be okay.
His mother called her an angel.
Jacob had never really believed in things like angels.
Wasn't much of a religious or spiritual person.
But all that changed after meeting Anna.
Because Anna was there,
Anna spoke to him.
They laughed together.
Heck,
They played rock,
Paper,
Scissors together.
Whatever it was,
Was real in every sense of the word.
Some people who heard the story said it was just your brain healing while in the coma.
Others said when he saw the picture of the girl in the paper,
His brain associated it with his memory of Anna.
But Jacob didn't care,
Because he knew what he had seen,
Knew what he had felt.
He knew that he had shared something special with Anna in their brief time together.
And all that mattered was that it was real to him.
Anna Stevens had saved his life.
And he knew he would see her again one day.
