What To Do With Fear

Fear has a way of pulling us into the future—into “what if” thoughts and worst-case scenarios. In this short reflection, I’ll guide you back to the present moment using a simple grounding mindset drawn from resilience skills and contemplative wisdom.

We’ll practice noticing fear without feeding it, releasing catastrophizing, and looking for “good stuff” even in uncertain times.

Music provided with permission by DELOSound from Pixabay.

Transcript

Hello, This is Curtis from Walking Home. Today I want to talk about fear, Especially the kind of fear that shows up as, What if thoughts? You know what I'm talking about. What if something goes wrong? What if I don't have enough money at the end of the month? What if I don't have enough food? What if my car breaks down? What if my relationship fails? What if my children get into trouble? This fear may not come as panic, Although sometimes it might feel like panic, Especially if it's three in the morning, But it comes as a mental rehearsal, Running the same worst case scenario over and over again. We might tell ourselves that we're doing it to prepare, But reality is that we're exhausting our minds before anything even happens. There are many traditions that tell us that we shouldn't worry about the future. The Bible talks about not worrying about tomorrow, Each day has enough trouble of its own. We find that Judaism says don't boast about tomorrow, You don't know what a day will bring. Islam says trust or rely on God for what's ahead, And do what you can, Rather than spiraling into fear. Buddhism, Very explicit, Don't chase the past, Don't yearn for the future, Discern what's present as it comes. I visited a Buddhist monk one time, And she said that if you're sad, You're living in the past, If you're afraid, You're living in the future. She told me to live in the present, And manage whatever I'm facing today. It's great advice, That teaching has stayed with me, It's real, It's true. Fear is often the mind trying to live in a future that hasn't even arrived yet. When we live in the future too long, We lose the strength that we need for today. So here's what I want you to do first. I want you to take a breath, Take that breath in, Let it out, Nice and slow. One more time, In, Let it out. Breathing tends to ground us in what is real. Feel your body, Feel whatever is supporting it. If you're lying on the bed, Sitting in a chair, You are being supported, You're safe. I want you to remember that as we go on to the next step, Which is not to catastrophize. Challenge those what-if thoughts. When your mind says, What if the worst happens? You gently ask yourself, Is that the most likely outcome? Even if it could happen, Is it the only possible outcome? Most of the time, The answer is no. Our minds like extremes, But life usually lives somewhere in the middle. The third thing I want you to remember is to look for the good stuff. This isn't denial, It isn't pretending that everything is fine. Here's a simple activity if you're able to see around you. Look for something that's red. Did you find it? Good. Now forget about the red and look for something that's yellow. Find it? Notice that we usually find whatever it is we're looking for. We often hear whatever it is we're listening for. As we look for the yellow, What happens to the red? It fades into the background. So we aren't denying that the red ceases to exist, We just don't focus on it when we focus on the yellow. This is training our minds, So what I want you to do is to look for the good things. Train your mind to notice what is still working, Even during a difficult season, Even when you are uncertain, Even when the world feels unstable. Fear tends to narrow our vision, But gratitude expands it. Look for the good things. Look for something that you did well today. Look for one person who helped you out. Look for whatever small victory that you experienced, A moment of peace, Something that didn't go wrong. Again, This doesn't erase the bad things, The difficult things, But it keeps fear from becoming your only lens that you see the world through. Fear often shows up when we feel powerless, But the reality is you are not powerless. You may not control everything, But you are not helpless. I can't stop the rain, But I can pull out an umbrella and shelter myself from it. I want to offer you a modern version of an old truth. You may have heard the saying, Necessity is the mother of invention. Here's my personal version. You are your own superhero. Today's challenges are forging your powers for the path ahead. That doesn't mean you have to be perfect. It doesn't mean you won't struggle. It means the hard things you're facing are not wasted. They're shaping you, Equipping you, Giving you tools that you didn't have before. So if fear is sitting beside you or on your chest, I want you to hear this, Three things. Come back to the present. Challenge the catastrophic thinking. And look for the good stuff. Take one small step, Because managing today is enough for today. And whatever's on the path ahead, It will meet you when you get to it. You may not be able to see what's around the corner, But when you get to the corner, You'll be able to see further. Thanks for spending a few minutes with me today. I'm Curtis, Still walking home with you, One step at a time.