Of Mice And Moments | Honest With Yourself

Of Mice and Moments - a podcast that finds significance in the small moments. In this episode, Clay explores the pivotal moment he learned something valuable about himself. He wanted to be a rockstar, but something was in his way. Through a unique experience, he realized his musical strengths and weaknesses. Though challenging, he found a truer path when he was honest with himself.

Transcript

Hi, This is Clay Stevenson and welcome to Of Mice and Moments, A podcast that finds significance in the small moments. From an early age, Music was part of my life. Some of my fondest memories were driving around in my parents' full-sized blue and white Ford Club wagon van, Spreading out in the backseat and singing along to church songs for kids. Memorizing lyrics and melodies and matching pitch was intrinsically enjoyable for me. In that childlike state, I had the ability to go to a place of excitement and joy simply through the act of singing. I carried that love of music with me always. And it's only natural that as I got older, I got more involved in music, Eventually finding my true passion, Singing for others. Taking the stage in front of many people and performing original music was an adrenaline and dopamine hit like nothing else. Becoming a rock star became my dream and goal. So my brothers and I started a band. It was good times. We achieved some success. In a year or so into my high school rock star career, The band was signed to a record label. A producer sponsored our performance at a big festival and we performed concerts up and down the East Coast. The smallest success we gained was enough to allow me to dream of the day when we could fill stadiums with fans. Unfortunately, The band never progressed out of that moderate level of regional popularity. We tried, But we were passed over a number of times by bigger level record executives and festivals. At that time, I was frustrated that we weren't able to meet our potential. And as often happens, The band broke up. Following the breakup, I was disappointed, But not deterred. I decided to pursue performance on my own and further my own music education because ultimately the dream of being a rock star never died. I knew I had this stuff. I'd already achieved a certain level of success. I could do it. I just had to make sure I didn't give up. A few years later, I found myself no further in my performance career than I was after the band's breakup. I had moved on to grad school, But continued writing and singing music the entire time. I shopped my music to different music outlets, Publishers, And record labels to no avail. I thought I could make it in this industry. I was a performer. Hadn't I found some success in this arena? I couldn't understand what was going on. And as I was wrestling with these emotions, I found out that my school was hosting a songwriting masterclass during which a Grammy award-winning songwriter would critique student work. The school was bringing in Marty Sharon, Who had written hits for Barbra Streisand, Celine Dion and others. I felt like this was the perfect opportunity for me to get my music in front of an industry professional. So I submitted a song and was cautiously optimistic. As the listening session began, I was impressed with the work of my classmates. However, I quickly became disheartened, Listening to Marty Sharon's comments. She had nothing positive to say for anyone's music. Her critiques were harsh, And it seemed nothing was close to the professional standards she held. When they called my name indicating my song was up next, I slunk down in my chair and braced myself for an unfavorable assessment. With my eyes closed, My shirt damp with sweat, I listened quietly as they played my song in the auditorium. I was getting ready for the inevitable, To be told that something I had put my heart and soul into for many years was no good. I had already experienced a few years of rejections, And this could be the straw to break the camel's back. I didn't know if I had it in me to continue after this rejection. At the song's conclusion, Marty grabbed the microphone, Looked around the auditorium, And asked, Who wrote this? I slowly raised my hand, And all eyes turned to me. She looked at me and said, Well, This is a really good song. She then continued her commentary, Mostly positive, But I had a hard time focusing through the pounding in my ears. When she was finished, I was dumbfounded and stunned, Even more so as she continued her harsh critique of songs through the remainder of the session. And when I considered the success of my song, I had an epiphany. What made this song different from almost all of my other music was, I didn't perform on it. This specific song, I wrote and produced, But I didn't play any of the instruments, And I didn't sing. Honestly, A really good singer sang on this song. I had been beating my head against the wall for many years trying to be a performer because I loved singing, And I wanted to be a rock star. But that love of singing didn't make me a great singer. And when I sat back and was honest with myself, I was able to notice the drastic difference between my voice and a really good singer's voice. My strengths were not in performing, But in crafting music. Later in life, The moderate success I found was always a result of me focusing on the facets of music in which I was strong. Though I wanted to be a rock star, The lead singer in a band, When I was honest with myself, That wasn't where I excelled. Fortunately in the end, I was able to see my limitations. And once I saw my limitations, My successes grew. Giving energy to the thing I was good at helped improve that thing even more. So how about you? Do you allow your ego to blind you to your strengths and weaknesses? Are you working to succeed at something that in the end is not where your true talents lie? Maybe you need to lean on others in those areas. Maybe by focusing on your strengths, You'll be able to get by the roadblocks in life that cause you despair and discouragement. So consider how you might be more honest with yourself and find the true inner rock star that you're destined to be.