When You Want to Get Moving

Do you want to move forward in your life but find yourself stuck, scrolling or procrastinating and then scolding yourself? A student facing the next big step in his work discovered that a part of him was afraid of being found out. Ann Weiser Cornell shares three steps: acknowledge that part with "something in me," let it know you hear it, and keep listening for what is really bothering it. She shows how a kind inner relationship can make the next right action feel natural. This content is educational and is not a substitute for one-on-one professional care.

Transcript

I am. Here to talk to you about. . . Finding inner peace in challenging times. So let me ask you, Do you want more inner peace? Are you one of those people who feel like inner peace is just another way of numbing out, Giving up on your goals, Just blissing out? I understand that point of view, But for me. . . Inner peace in the way I mean it is exactly what lets me accomplish so much in my life. Six books? Dozens of video products, A high six figure business with four employees. A lovely family, A fun social life, And I absolutely could not dine in. And I absolutely could not have done any of this when I was stressed and taken over by my anxiety and fear. So if you're yearning to get moving on your life, Stop being held back by resistance and fear. I've got a tip for you. But first, Let me tell you, Based on my experience, What's not going to work. Trying to analyze what your problem is. Shaming yourself for not doing enough. Telling yourself not to be afraid. Trying to make your feelings go away. None of the above. And if goal setting has not worked until now, Then more fierce and determined goal setting. Mm-hmm not going to work either So what does work? At least it has for me and for a bunch of people I've trained. Is to grow your larger self. By turning with compassion. Toward the parts of you that are feeling fearful and resistant about moving forward. And listening to what is really bothering them. Yes, And let me tell you about my student, Michael. Michael had become increasingly unhappy in his corporate job. And fortunately he'd saved enough money to take a break, Reassess what he wanted to do. And he found himself. Signing up for a teacher training in a mindfulness method that he had benefited from himself. And the teacher training went well. His teacher said he was a natural. And when I met Michael, His next step was going to be to go out on his own and teach mindfulness meditation. Bye! Michael Phelps, Doc. He would plan to make a move to go forward and then he procrastinated. He'd find himself lost in social media or binge watching some TV series. Then he'd give himself a scolding. What's wrong with you? This is not that hard. You've done things a lot harder than this. But that didn't work. To get him off the dime. So I suggested, Let's try some focus. It starts with getting grounded. Taking some deep breaths. Feeling your body. And then tuning in to the feeling of going out there to be a meditation teacher. Letting it come. Without words at first. Fresh sense of the whole thing. So he did. We paused together. And then Michael said, Hey, Wow, Being a meditation teacher feels good. When I think of sharing with others what's so meaningful to me, I get a warm, Spacious feeling in my chest. I invited him to stay with that feeling and enjoy it. And after a bit, Michael's face changed. I just got this contraction in my chest, He said. What if I can't? What if people see what a messed up person I really am? So no wonder Michael was procrastinating. A part of him was terrified. That being out there as a teacher would expose him to people seeing something bad about him. And what just happened for Michael is actually a positive step. Do you see why? Because instead of just procrastinating and being stuck, He turned toward this part of him. And it started to let him know what's really going on for it. And that is a good thing. So what comes next? Well, I suggested three steps. Use the language, Something in me, To acknowledge this part, Like this. Something in me is saying, What if people see what a messed up person I really am? Two, Let it know you hear it, Like you are saying to this part of you, I hear you. I really get. That you are worried about. And three. Keep listening to it for what is really bothering it. And Michael did that. Something in me is saying, What if people see what a messed up person I really am? I hear you. I really get that you're worried about that. And I'm wondering, What is really bothering you? And he waited. And done. He got the most amazed expression on his face. Oh, He said. This part of me thinks that to be a meditation teacher You need to have no problems. And I said, You might say to it. Hey, No wonder you're worried if that's what you think. Michael said, I'm doing this. No wonder you're worried if that's what you think. And my whole chest and stomach is relaxing. That whole part of me just let go. And within a few weeks after that session, Michael had signed up with a local yoga center to offer meditation classes. And a friend in another city had invited him to teach there, Too. Things were starting to open up. So you see. Inner peace. Is not only about feeling good. It's also about moving forward. Doing what you know is right for you by creating a compassionate, Listening, Inner relationship with the parts of you that are in the way. Because nothing inside us really wants to hurt us. And when we know that, Inner peace and the next right action follow naturally. So here's to you having a more peaceful and productive life.