Hello,
I'm Ashley,
And I've been a therapist since 2010.
This is one of my educational recordings where we slow down and make sense of how our minds and bodies work so that you can understand what's happening and have practical tools to work with it.
There's nothing you need to do except listen.
You can take notes or you can let it just wash over you.
Either one works.
A quick note,
This is for education and support.
It isn't a substitute for therapy or medical care.
All right,
Let's get into it.
Okay so today we're going to be talking about cortisol because honestly cortisol has a serious PR problem.
If you've been anywhere near the internet lately,
You've probably seen it treated like the villain.
It's the villain of your body,
Right?
Lower your cortisol.
Fix your cortisol.
Like it's a little gremlin living in your kidneys,
Just ruining your day on purpose.
But here's the thing,
Cortisol is not simply good or bad.
It plays an important role in helping you wake up.
Use energy,
And respond to challenges.
Levels generally rise around the time you wake up.
Often peak shortly afterwards.
Then gradually taper off across the day so your body can wind down by bedtime.
The exact pattern varies from person to person.
But you can think of cortisol as part alarm clock,
Part emergency responder.
The emergency responder part is the one we hear about the most.
When your brain senses a threat,
Your nervous system sounds the alarm and your body begins releasing stress hormones,
Including cortisol.
Some changes happen almost immediately.
Your heart rate might go up,
Your muscles prepare to move,
And your attention narrows towards the threat.
Cortisol helps support that response by making more energy available.
So imagine you're driving down the road when another car suddenly swerves into your lane.
Your body needs to react before you actually have time to carefully think through what's happening.
That's exactly what the alarm response is for.
You do not want your body going,
Hmm,
Let me think about this.
So now here's where it gets a little tricky.
Your brain does not literally respond to an email the same way it responds to a car swerving at you,
But an email that starts with,
Per my last message.
It can actually activate parts of the same stress response,
Just at a very different intensity.
A tough conversation,
A memory,
Or a worry about next Tuesday can all activate parts of that stress response.
These triggers are not the same as immediate physical danger,
But your body can still register them as something that needs attention.
The problem is that modern life doesn't always give us the all clear,
So the alarm keeps ringing.
When stress sticks around,
It can affect sleep,
Energy,
Attention,
And the body's daily rhythms.
You might notice changes in your sleep,
The tired but wired feeling,
Fog or a sense that you're always on the edge.
Those experiences do not necessarily mean your cortisol rhythm is disrupted,
Though,
And many things can cause them.
If this sounds familiar or persists,
It's worth checking with a doctor.
And here's what I really want you to hear.
A stressed body is not necessarily a broken body.
The stress response often begins as the protection,
Even if it stays activated after the immediate need has passed.
Think of it like a smoke detector that's very,
Very committed to the bid.
And the part that I find the most interesting,
The body's alarm response and the mind's interpretation of it can feed into each other.
That brings us to the second part.
Picture this,
It's three in the morning,
You wake up and your heart is pounding.
That's the first layer,
The sensation your body is producing before your mind starts explaining them.
The pounding heart is real and it can feel really intense.
Then the second layer begins when your mind decides that those sensations mean that something is wrong.
Your brain might jump in like an overeager coworker.
Oh no.
Why are you awake?
You have a really big day tomorrow.
You're going to be a disaster.
Just calm down.
Calm down.
And now I have to ask,
Has anyone in the history of the world ever calmed down because they were told to calm down?
Once your mind treats the stress itself as another threat,
It sends out more alarm.
That creates more physical sensations,
Which triggers more alarming thoughts,
And suddenly,
You're caught in a loop.
We get stressed,
Then we get stressed about being stressed.
It's a stress with a bonus round.
ACT,
Which stands for acceptance and commitment therapy,
Has a name for one pattern that can keep this loop going.
It's called experimental avoidance,
Which basically is just a fancy way of saying we try really hard not to feel what we're feeling.
Sometimes this might look like doom scrolling.
Snacking,
Overworking,
Arguing with our thoughts,
Or trying to force ourselves to relax.
Those things are not automatically a problem.
The question is whether you're using them to escape an experience and it keeps coming back.
Trying to relax by force.
Is like trying really hard to relax harder.
I want to be really clear about this.
This isn't a character flaw.
It's simply what our minds do.
There is a problem and we're trying to solve it.
So when we notice discomfort,
Our brains jump in.
Thinking,
I can fix this.
The problem is not everything we feel is a problem to be solved.
Sometimes it's an experience we need to make room for.
So what does ACT suggest we do instead?
First,
A promise.
ACT is not going to ask you to get rid of stress.
It is definitely not going to claim it can control your cortisol.
Instead,
It helps you.
To relate differently to what you were feeling and thinking.
That can loosen the second layer of the struggle and help you keep living the life that you care about,
Even while the alarm is going off.
Each act has six core processes.
Let's walk through them one at a time and keep it simple.
So number one,
Acceptance.
Acceptance does not mean you like what's happening or even approve of it.
It also means that you're not going to give up on changing what you can change.
It means making room for the thoughts,
The feelings,
And the sensations that are already here instead of spending all of your energy fighting them.
You know how those woven finger traps we used to play with as a kid?
The little tubes that you stick your fingers in?
The harder you pull,
The tighter they get.
Stress can be like that.
Acceptance is easing that struggle so that you have more room to choose what you do next.
Number two.
Cognitive diffusion or just diffusion.
This one is actually one of my favorites because it feels a little silly and can be actually really useful.
Diffusion is learning to see a thought as a thought rather than an automatic,
Just automatically treating it as a fact or command.
So instead of I'm going to fail,
You try,
I'm having the thought that I'm going to fail.
The thought is still there,
But the extra wording may create a little space between you and it.
You can even experiment with saying it in a funny voice.
That doesn't necessarily work for everyone,
But sometimes changing how a thought sounds can make it feel less commanding.
Number three.
Contact with the present moment.
We're just being present.
Stress can pull us into the future or the past.
The process is about coming back to what is here right now.
Your feet on the floor,
The sounds in the room.
The breath you've already taken.
And hear this.
You're not trying to feel calm.
You're just showing up.
Number four.
The observing self.
This is the perspective from which you notice what's going on in your head and your body.
Your anxiety changes,
Your mood changes.
But that noticing perspective can stay present through it all.
Think of the sky and the weather.
Thoughts,
Feelings,
And sensations are the weather.
Today might be stormy.
And tomorrow might be sunny.
The sky doesn't have control over the weather.
It just makes room for it.
In the same way you can notice and experience without being completely defined by it.
Number five,
Your values.
Values are qualities that you want to bring to the way you live.
Think of being kind,
Brave.
Curious,
Or connected.
They're not goals that you check off a list.
They're more like a direction.
Like heading west.
You can never finish heading west.
You keep choosing steps that take you in that way.
Number six.
Committed action.
This is taking small,
Real steps in the direction of your values.
With discomfort coming along for the ride.
You're not waiting for it to leave first.
Just letting it sit in the passenger seat.
You can come along for the ride.
But it doesn't get to pick the music.
So what does all of this have to do with cortisol?
Here's my honest answer.
Research on ACT and related mindfulness and acceptance-based approaches is really promising.
And some studies suggest that these approaches can change how people respond to stress.
But the findings are mixed and I don't want to oversell this.
Act can offer a way to help you choose how to respond instead of automatically adding that second layer of struggle,
The worry,
The judgment,
The alarm.
We pile on top of the stress that's already there.
It can help you make room for stress and keep moving toward a life that matters to you,
Even when stress is still present.
Okay,
So let's try something together.
If you are driving or doing something that needs your full attention,
You're gonna have to hit pause and maybe save this for later.
And if anything ever feels uncomfortable.
You can open your eyes or shift your attention or stop this exercise at any time.
But get comfortable,
However you are.
You can close your eyes or just let your gaze rest softly on one spot.
First notice what's here.
There's nothing to fix.
See if you can find any stress or tension in your body.
Maybe your shoulders,
Your jaw,
Your chest,
Or your stomach.
Notice which sensation is asking for the most attention right now.
Instead of pushing it away.
See if you can make a little room for it.
Imagine you're breathing toward it.
Not trying to fix.
Just try to keep it company.
Kind of thing to yourself,
You're allowed to be here.
Now don't ask whether your mind has anything to say about this feeling.
It probably does.
Whatever the thought that shows up,
Try placing the words,
I'm having the thought that.
In front of it.
Maybe you're thinking,
I'm having the thought that this isn't going to work.
Or,
I'm having the thought that I should be doing work right now.
Now zoom out a little.
Notice that you are aware of the sensation and the thoughts.
See if you can rest in that wider view of this moment.
Like the sky making room for whatever weather is passing through.
And now some gentle questions.
What quality matters to you today?
Kindness,
Courage,
Curiosity,
Or connection.
Maybe it's something else.
What's one small thing?
That you can do.
Even if you're feeling uncomfortable.
What is one behavior?
That can move you in the direction of your dreams.
You might be calling a friend to practice connection.
Taking a walk to care for yourself.
Being patient with your kid to practice kindness.
Drinking a glass of water because showing up for your body matters to you.
It can be tiny.
Tiny Counts.
Take one more slow breath in.
Then whenever you're ready.
Bring your attention back into the room.
So here's the short version.
Cortisol is not simply good or bad.
It's a part of our body that's trying to take care of us.
Stress can feel heavier when we fight it or pile more stories on top of it.
You don't have to get rid of stress to live well.
You can start by changing your relationship with it a little at a time.
If you found this helpful,
You're welcome to come back to this recording at any time if you need a reminder.
It really is okay to slow down once in a while.
Thanks for listening and remember.
Be kind and leave the rush behind.
