Inner Child Trust: Healing Talk And Guided Inner Journey

A gentle talk and inner journey to reconnect with the younger self, explore trust, and soften into compassionate self-connection.

This talk combines psychoeducation with a gentle, guided inner journey. Abi Beri invites you to explore inner child trust through a holistic lens, noticing how younger parts of the self may carry protection, fear, longing, or uncertainty around being seen, supported, and met.

The session is reflective, compassionate, and body-aware. It may support listeners seeking inner child work, self-trust, emotional safety, family-system insight, and a kinder relationship with vulnerable parts of themselves.

Transcript

So welcome everyone, And thank you. Thank you for listening, Thank you for being here. So for today's journey, Let's explore inner child work. You might have tried it, You might have heard of it, You might have read the books, Watched the videos, Maybe even done a workshop or two. You've also visualized meeting your younger self, You've told them they are loved, And you've also imagined wrapping them in a warm embrace. And nothing, Or maybe something, A moment of feeling, A brief softening, A tear. But that state did not last, Did not even land, And it might not have changed anything in your actual life. So if this is you, I want you to know, You are not doing it wrong, You are not broken. Inner child work is not just not for you. Something else might be happening, And once you understand it, Everything shifts. So most inner child work goes like this. Visualize your younger self, Tell them you love them, Give them a hug, And maybe say some affirmations in the mirror. I am safe, I am loved, I am enough. And this can be beautiful, Even powerful for some people. But for others it falls completely flat, And there is a very good reason for that. The inner child does not trust you. I'll say this again, The inner child does not trust you. And honestly, They have a good reason not to. So let me explain what I mean. Your inner child, That younger part of you that carries the wounds, The fears, The unmet needs, They have been with you your whole life, And they have watched everything you have done. And what have they seen? They have seen you push through when you were exhausted. They have seen you ignore your needs because someone else's needs were more important. They have seen you say yes when you meant no, Stay in situations that hurt you, Abandon yourself over and over again. They have heard you criticize yourself in ways you would never speak to someone else. They have felt the shame that you carry, And they have been the target of your inner critic for years, Maybe decades. And now, Because someone is asking you to, Or you think this is going to make your problems go away, You're showing up with affirmations, And you want to hug them. Now if I were them, I would be skeptical too, Because here is the thing, The child, The wound, Or the part of you that's hurt in your subconscious mind, They all mean the same thing. They have heard this before. Maybe not in those exact words, But in some form. You have had moments of deciding to change, Moments of promising yourself you would take better care, Moments of insight and intention, And then life happened. The pattern continued, And you were back to abandoning yourself, And the child was left once again with a broken promise. When you show up with your meditation music and your healing visualization, And your fancy affirmations, And your self-help books, And you say, I am here for you, The child thinks, I have heard this before, And I will believe it when I see it. Now in attachment terms, We would say the child has an insecure attachment to you. They have learned that you are not reliable, That your attention comes and goes, That you might show up today when you need something, But you will probably abandon them again tomorrow. And trust once broken takes time to rebuild. It takes consistent presence, Not grand gestures. It takes showing up again and again, Especially when it is inconvenient. So the child does not need your affirmations, They need your evidence. Now, I want to name specifically how we abandon the inner child. And remember, Most of this is unintentional, Because we all have the right intentions. It is just a shift in perspective that I am guiding you towards, If it resonates. Because sometimes we do not even realize we are doing it. So we abandon them when we override our body's signals, When we are tired and we push through anyways, When we are hungry but we are too busy, When we need rest but there is more to do. So the child says, I need something, And we say, Not now, Later, When things calm down. But things never calm down, Do they? And then the child learns, My needs do not matter. It didn't matter to them, And it doesn't matter to him or her. So we abandon them when we let the inner critic run the show, When we speak to ourselves with contempt, When we call ourselves stupid, Lazy, Worthless, Too much, Not enough. Your subconscious mind, The child hears all of that. And then they wonder, If you hate me this much, Why would I trust you? We abandon them when we stay in situations that hurt, Relationships where we are not valued, Jobs that drain us, Environments that do not feel safe. The child is screaming, This does not feel good. And we say, We have to stay, We have no choice. We abandon them when we numb, Scrolling, Drinking, Eating, Anything to feel, Not feel, Rather, What we are feeling. So my body is bringing up an emotion, For whatever reason, And instead of being with the emotion, I just want it to disappear. I check out, And this is me leaving my inner child alone with the feeling. I am not saying this to shame you. I have done all these things, We all have. This is not about being perfect, But I am naming it so you can recognize if any of this is you. The inner child has been keeping track, And when you show up to do this work, When you show up to do inner child work, All of this is in the room, Present. So we can't just skip to reunion, The repair work is what we do first. So how do you actually build trust with your inner child? The same way you build trust with anybody, Slowly, Consistently, And through action. Think about how trust works in human relationships. If someone has let you down repeatedly, And then they come to you one day and say, Hey, I have changed, Trust me, I love you. Now, You would be skeptical, Right? You would think I will believe it when I see it, Show me over time. So this is exactly what the inner child is saying. Trust is built through small, Consistent actions, Not grand gestures, Not dramatic declarations. It is built when you notice you are tired, And you actually rest. It is built when you catch the inner critic and say, There must be a reason we do not speak to ourselves like that, And you actually mean it. It is built when you check in with yourself and ask, What do you need right now? And you actually listen, And then you respond. Now this approach might not be sexy. It is not a breakthrough approach. It is more like showing up, Day after day, Proving that this time is different. And here is the thing, You will mess up, You will abandon the child again, You will override your needs, Push through, And let the critic win. This is not failure, This is reality. What matters is repair. What matters is that you notice, And you acknowledge, And then you come back. You say, I am still learning, I am here now. Now in attachment research, This is called rupture and repair. And what they found is this, It is not about being perfect, It is about coming back again and again, Until the child learns that even when you leave, You return. Even when you mess up, You try again. And this is how trust is built, Not through return, And not through perfection. So I want to offer you a different way of looking at this. The inner child's skepticism is not a problem, It is intelligence. They have learned from experience that you are not reliable. They have adapted to protect themselves. They do not open up easily because opening up has led to disappointment. So this is not dysfunction, This is called survival wisdom. So instead of trying to convince them, Or push past their resistance, Or do more intense inner child work, What if you honoured it? What if you said, You are right not to trust me yet, I have not earned it yet, I understand why you are cautious. And paradoxically, This is when often things start to shift. Because the child finally feels seen, Not pushed, Not fixed, Just understood. Imagine if someone who had hurt you came to you and said, You are right to be angry, I have not earned your trust back, I understand why you do not believe me. Would that not land differently than them just saying, Just forgive me already, I said I was sorry. So the same applies here. The child does not need you to be perfect, They need you to be honest. So what does inner child work look like when the child does not trust you? It looks different from the usual approach, Slower, More humble, Less about healing and more about the relationship. So in this approach, First you stop trying to fix them, The child is not a problem to be solved, They are a part of you that needs a relationship with you. Second you approach slowly, You do not barge in with hugs and affirmations, You sit at a distance, You let them see you without demanding anything from them. Then we acknowledge, Extremely powerful, Acknowledge the truth, I know I have not been there for you, I know that I have abandoned you, I know you have no reason to trust me, And that is honest and that is real. Then you make small promises that you can actually keep, Not that I will protect you, I will love you, You cannot guarantee that, Something like I will check in with you tomorrow, I will notice when the critic is loud, I will try to rest when we are tired. Small, Doable, And then you can actually do it. So over time, You show up again, And again, And again, Even when it is boring, Even when nothing dramatic is happening, And even when the child still seems distant, Trust takes real time, There is no shortcut here. Now this is not the Instagram version of inner child work, There is no moment where the child runs into your arms and your whole life is healed, It is more like slowly, Slowly, The child moves a little closer, It will test you a little, It watches to see if you really mean it, And then slowly but surely you will start to notice, Something is different, There is a softening that was not there before, A trust was earned, Not declared, And that is real healing, It just takes longer than our conscious minds would want. Now, In a moment, I am going to guide you through a different kind of inner child practice, This will not be about having a breakthrough or a dramatic reunion, Giving you a spoiler, It will be about beginning to rebuild trust, Or if the trust has never been there, Starting to build it for the first time. We are going to approach slowly, We are going to acknowledge the truth, We are going to make space for the child's skepticism, And we are going to make a small, Very small but keepable promise, If the child does not appear, That's ok, If they stay distant, That is ok too, And if nothing dramatic happens today, Perfectly ok. So, This is not about the experience you have in the next few minutes, It is about the relationship you begin to build from there. So, No pressure, No expectations, Just be open, This is an honest beginning. Now, Just be somewhere you can be undisturbed for a little while, Find a comfortable position, And just let yourself settle now. There is nowhere to be, Nothing to achieve, Just arriving here in this moment, Just arriving here in this moment, Just arriving here in this moment. Take a breath, Let it be slow, Let it be easy, Feel your body, The gravity, The weight of it, The presence of it, You here in the physical form. And now as you settle, Begin to bring your attention inwards, Gently, Softly, Like entering a quiet room. I want you to imagine a space now, It does not have to be anywhere specific, Just somewhere that feels neutral and safe for you. Where do you feel neutral and safe? Maybe it's a room, Your room, Outdoors, Maybe it's just a sense of spaciousness in your body. You are here, In this space, Present and available. You are here, In this space, Present and available. And somewhere in this space, Maybe close, Maybe at a distance, There's a younger part of you. Whatever had to show up today, Is present. There is a younger part of you present in this space, Your inner child. They may appear clearly, They may just be a sense, A feeling, A presence, Something in your awareness is present. Now whatever you are sensing, Feeling or seeing right now, Do not force anything. Do not try to make them come closer, Just notice where they are. I'm in this safe, Grounded space right now and I can feel, Sense and see the present, The presence of my younger self. They can be close, They can be at a distance. I can have a vision, I can have an age in my mind, Or I can just be feeling something in my body. Everything is okay. Do not force anything, Just witness. Now notice if there's a distance between the two of you. Notice if this part of you seems hesitant, Guarded or watching you from a safe space. Notice. Whatever you sense, Feel, Experience, See, That makes sense and that is okay. Do not dismiss anything. Now if they are open and close, Wonderful. If they are close to you and open, That's wonderful too. If they are distant, That is not failure, That is honesty. Now wherever you are, Without moving closer to your inner child, Unless it feels right, I want you to speak to them, Silently or in your heart. I know you do not trust me yet and I understand why. I know you do not trust me yet and I understand why. I know you do not trust me yet and I understand why. Just let those words land now, Not as performance but as truth. Now let's acknowledge the past, Together. I have not been there for you the way you needed. I have ignored you, Pushed past you and left you alone. I have let the critical voice be louder than my care for you. I have not been there for you the way you needed. I have ignored you, Pushed past you and left you alone. I have let the critical voice be louder than my care for you. Let yourself feel the truth of that, Not to shame yourself but just to acknowledge what is real. And now let's make an honest offering to this peace. I am not asking you to trust me. I am not asking you to trust me. I am just asking for a chance to earn it. I know it will take time. I know you have heard promises before. I am not promising to be perfect. I am promising to try. And now I want you to make one small promise. Something you can actually keep. Something specific and doable. Maybe it is, I will check in with you tomorrow. Or maybe it is, I will notice when I am being harsh with myself. Or maybe it is, I will rest when I am tired at least once this week. Find your promise. Something small, Something real, Something doable for you. And now say to them, This is what I am going to do. And I will come back and tell you when I have done it. Notice what happens now. Does the child respond? Do they stay still? Does anything shift for you? Whatever happens is okay. This is not about getting a reaction. It is the beginning. The child may not believe you yet. That is okay. You have not earned it yet. But you have started. And that matters. Now before you leave this space, Say one more thing. I will come back. Not because I have to, Because I want to. I am learning how to be here for you. I am still learning. And let yourself feel the truth of that intention. It is not a perfect promise. It is a real one. If you had an image now, Gently begin to let the image fade. Let the space soften. And slowly, Gently bring your awareness back to your body, Back to the room, And back to the present moment. Feel your breath. Feel your weight. And feel yourself here. Take a deeper breath now. Let it ground you. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. And whenever you are ready, Open your eyes if they were closed. And welcome back. So you have just done something important. Not because of what you felt, But because you began. The child may not trust you yet. That is okay. Trust is not built in one journey. It is built in days and weeks that follow after. In whether you keep the small promise you made, And in whether you come back. So here is what I invite you to do. Keep the promise, Whatever it was. Do it. And then, This is important, Acknowledge that you did it. Tell the child, I said I would, And I did. And then make another small promise. And keep that one too. So this is how trust is rebuilt. One breath at a time. One promise at a time. And when you fail, We all do. Just come back. Acknowledge it. I said I would, And I did not. I am sorry, I am still here. Let me try again. So the repair is as important as the promise. So this is the slower work than the social media version of healing. Less dramatic. More real. But it is the kind of work that actually changes things over time. Now, Your inner child has been waiting for a long time. They can wait a little longer. Not because they do not matter. But because trust cannot be rushed. You are not behind. You are just beginning. And beginning is everything. Go gently. Keep your promise. Come back when you need to. Thank you very much for joining me today. And Namaste.