Have I lost My Heart? With The Female Stoic

Hello and welcome to another short from The Female Stoic.

Today I want to talk about Emotional exhaustion.

I have in the past been in a place where I've had to ask myself Have you lost your heart?

Have you lost the capacity for love?

Because it felt like I was so numb.

I was so far removed from feeling anything.

And I realized at that point What you're doing is.

.

.

You are being fearful of emotion,

You are so frightened by the pain that you have adopted a way of feeding nothing.

It is in itself a reactivity and When I said to myself,

Have I lost the capacity for love?

I realized,

No,

That's not true.

I haven't.

But I have to learn to be able to manage that reactivity,

To be able to protect myself.

Does that mean I need to be hard,

Heartless?

No,

It doesn't.

That's a reaction.

It means I have to master the act of stoic survival,

That protection,

So that I can still honour my real self,

My true,

Very empathetic,

Emotional self.

I have decided,

As a Stoic,

I've made an active decision.

I will never compromise who I am.

Because.

Life is hard and because people hurt me,

I will not let that compromise my inner virtue or who I am.

But what I need to do is learn to understand I'm not called upon to lose my heart,

To be so hard that I don't feel emotion anymore.

What I'm called upon to do is experience the emotion and then let it resonate outside of my inner citadel so that It is not attacking my inner child,

My higher self.

And my virtue.

Thanks for listening and I'll see you next time.