Good morning.
Good evening,
Good afternoon.
Whatever you may be.
Whatever you may be doing.
I'm Thaddeus Armand Arruda.
Teacher here and inside timer.
And thank you for joining.
Meditation today.
Is in support of the series that I have titled.
Stories from the Soul.
Um.
.
.
And This is the meditation.
Which acts as a follow-on.
Two.
The previous practice.
And So this,
In many ways,
Is the deeper work.
It's not about becoming stronger,
But it's about finally meeting.
The part of you that has been strong on your behalf.
And it's been strong for a very long time.
And Here's what I want you to consider before we start.
Being strong is not a personality trait.
It's a strategy.
It was learned.
An environment where softness felt dangerous.
We're needing something felt like a risk and we're falling apart was not.
An option.
And so a part of you Step forward.
The Protector.
And it's seed.
I'll handle this.
And ever since then,
It has been handling it.
But here's the cost of it handling it.
The cost of being the strong one is that.
You never get to stop.
You never get to be held,
You never get to be.
.
.
Vulnerable.
You never get to not know,
You never get to fall apart.
Be not put together.
And somewhere underneath all of that strength,
Is a part of you that is quite simply exhausted.
It's been carrying this burden for such a long time.
And it's tired.
And the meditation today.
Is for that part.
Not to fix it,
Not to dissolve it,
Not to make it stronger,
Not to make you stronger.
Just to meet it.
To acknowledge it,
To accept it.
And to integrate it into your conscious life.
So as with most things,
We'll begin.
With the breath.
What we're going to do today is we're going to take a deep breath in through the nose,
We'll hold it at the top.
Gasp of air in and exhale through the mouth,
And we'll do that three times.
One leading into two and two leading into three.
So let's begin.
And it's dark actually,
But just simply shaking out.
The day.
Shake your arms,
Your neck,
Your shoulders.
If you want you can stand up,
Shake your legs.
Just really shake off.
All that happened in a day.
Once you stop that.
.
.
We're gonna start the breathing pool.
Exercise.
Take a deep breath in through the nose.
And hold it at the top.
Garth Bavarian,
And side-out.
Inhale straight into the nose.
Hold.
Gasp.
And sigh.
Last one in your own time.
Sigh and drop into a normal.
Gentler.
Breathing rhythm,
Breathing cadence.
I want you to just simply allow yourself to slow down Just allow yourself to connect to the body,
Connect to self.
And just get quiet.
What we're going to do now is we're going to simply take a deep breath in and as we exhale we're gently going to close our eyes and drop into the practice.
So inhale.
Exhale.
Gently close your eyes.
And let's begin.
I'll start today by bringing awareness.
We'll start today by bringing awareness to your body.
Feel the weight of your body the surface that sits beneath you,
Be it the floor,
A chair,
A cushion.
Feel the temperature of the air.
Just for a moment,
Notice.
How you arrived here.
Perhaps he came straight from something.
Conversation,
Responsibility,
A role,
A work function,
Maybe?
Maybe you're still carrying the energy from that.
And if so,
That's okay.
You don't have to put the energy down yet,
Just notice.
That you're carrying it.
Now bring your awareness to your jaw.
Just your jaw.
Notice if it's tight.
If your teeth are pressed together.
Tension.
And grip.
Don't force it to release.
Just notice.
This is where strength lives in the body.
That strength lives in the jaw.
Now shift your awareness to your shoulders.
Notice how they feel.
Notice where they are.
Are they up near your ears?
Are they braced?
There's that tightness of tension there.
That you've actually really stopped noticing.
Just notice it now.
This is also where strength lives.
And the shoulders.
In the shoulders,
In the jaw.
Where the armor is.
Now I want you to see it.
The armor.
Not as a flaw,
Not as something to be ashamed of,
But as something that was built.
Forged.
Plate by plate.
Year by year.
Experience by experience.
Allow yourself right now to see this.
Kautavama.
Laid upon you.
Feel the weight.
And recognize This armor has kept you safe.
Kept you safe.
It's gotten you to where you are.
Right now.
And with that.
.
.
I want you to ask.
I want to ask you something.
And I don't want you to answer it with your mind.
I want you to feel for the answer.
Feel for it somewhere in your body.
My question is.
.
.
What are you afraid would happen?
If you weren't strong right now.
What are you afraid would happen if you weren't strong right now?
And I want you to direct that question.
That part of you that sits and always is strong.
What are you afraid would happen if you weren't strong right now?
Allow yourself to feel.
Where in your body?
It feels like it holds and wants to give the answer.
Your neck,
Your shoulders,
Your back.
You got.
Your hips.
Don't rush to answer,
Just feel.
And allow it to float up.
Allow that protector part to answer.
Feel what is underneath the strength.
What the armor is protecting.
What are you afraid would happen if you weren't strong right now?
And just stay with whatever arose.
Even if it's a feeling.
Even if it has no words,
Even if it surprised you.
Stay with it.
Accept and acknowledge it.
Because that part is trying to communicate.
Giving you the answer.
What are you afraid would happen if you weren't strong right now?
What I want you to do now is to see that part of you.
That has been carrying this,
The protect,
Apart.
Allow that feeling to take shape.
If you can.
Give it a presence,
Give it a weight Beautiful.
Perhaps it looks like you.
Maybe it doesn't.
Maybe it doesn't even have a form,
It's just a feeling,
A miss.
Perhaps.
The feeling makes you feel uncomfortable.
An anxiousness in your chest,
Butterflies in your stomach,
Tightness in the throat.
Tension in the shoulders.
However it shows up.
See it.
Acknowledge it.
Accept.
And notice.
This part is not your enemy.
Part stepped forward when you needed it most.
And your environment said.
You can't be soft here.
You can't need here.
You can't fall apart here.
In response,
This part said,
I'll be strong.
I'll handle it.
I'll keep us safe.
And ever since it has been doing that.
All alone.
Continuously,
Without rest.
Without thanks.
So I want you to sit with that part now.
Just for a moment,
Not to analyze it,
Not to fix it.
Just to be with you.
And just sit with it.
Now you've connected with this part,
I want you to speak to it.
Just gently,
Silently.
Yourself out loud or in your mind.
Say these words.
I see you.
I know what you've been doing.
I know why you've been doing it.
And thank you.
Again,
I see you.
I know what you've been doing.
I know why you've been doing it.
Thank you.
Thank you for keeping me safe.
Thank you for showing up when no one else did.
Thank you for carrying.
What felt uncarryable.
Thank you.
We'll take a deep breath in now and exhale straight away.
Allow that feeling of acceptance,
Gratitude,
Acknowledgement.
Permeate through your system.
One last time,
Repeat silently,
I see you.
I know what you've been doing.
I know why.
And thank you.
As we bring this practice to a close,
I want you to give this part from you.
Not to disappear.
Not to slip back into the shadows.
But to rest.
Just rest in the here.
To rest in the now.
Rest with you.
And just rest with this.
Say to that part,
You don't have to work so hard anymore.
You don't have to work so hard anymore.
I see what you've been doing.
I understand why.
And you can rest.
Just here.
Just now.
I want you to place one hand on that part of your body where you felt pain.
Connection with that part.
And feel what it's like to give that strongest part of you permission to rest.
Even just for this moment.
Just give it permission to rest.
That part no longer needs to be strong.
Not at least right now,
Not at least right here.
On in this moment.
And just give one final.
.
.
Words of gratitude.
To that part.
Whatever you want to say.
Say it gently now.
And with that,
Let's take one final deep breath in and exhale straight away.
Or your shoulders.
Roll your neck,
Stretch your back.
Bring warmth back into your legs,
Feel the temperature in the room,
Sounds that were there but have drifted out.
Gently open your eyes.
Bring yourself back.
Out of the practice.
Ugh.
.
.
And into your evening.
Deep bows to you all.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for joining.
