Hello,
And thank you so much for joining me.
I'm Mark.
When you are waiting for an answer.
It can be so difficult to give your attention to anything else.
You carry on with your day but part of you keeps checking.
Has anything changed?
Have I missed something?
Is there another way to work this out?
But for the next little while,
We're going to give that effort a rest.
So,
Find a comfortable position with enough support for your body to settle.
And let your eyes close if you wish or you can keep them open with your gaze resting easily There is a difference between considering a problem and repeatedly returning to it.
When we are considering it,
We might learn something,
We find a useful step to take or we recognise a conversation that probably needs to happen.
But sometimes we've done all the thinking we can usefully do for now.
And we keep going We re-read that message,
We reconsider the decision each time.
And each time we hope a little more thought might give us an answer,
We can finally trust.
It's understandable.
An unanswered question.
Can feel uncomfortable,
Particularly when it concerns someone who we dearly love.
Or maybe a change that we didn't choose ourselves.
Thinking gives us a task.
It feels as though we're doing something about the uncertainty.
Imagine waiting for a reply to a really important message.
You've said all you've needed to say and there's nothing to add.
Still.
You'll pick up your phone,
You put it down,
Then pick it up again,
Put it down,
Pick it up again.
And for a moment,
Checking sort of feels useful.
But then you're back where you were,
Waiting.
At some point you'll probably notice how much of your afternoon has gone into those small movements of your hand.
The reply will arrive when it arrives.
But meanwhile,
Your tea has gone cold.
This is where we can practice.
We can recognise the point at which our effort has stopped helping us.
We can put the phone down and feel how restless that makes us.
And give the restlessness a little time.
Let ourselves drink the tea whilst it's still warm.
Yes,
The question may remain unanswered,
And it can still be part of the day that we actually get to experience.
Okay as we begin choose one uncertainty to work with.
But keep it manageable,
Like an everyday decision or a plan that hasn't been confirmed will do.
It's best to leave the most painful issue in your life out of this practice for now.
You don't need to revisit the details of the situation you have in mind.
Just recognise it.
Notice what happens in your body when you bring it to mind.
Does your jaw tighten?
Do your hands become relaxed?
Just see if you can take a moment now to notice your own response.
Now let the situation move into the background as you feel the surface beneath you.
Notice the pressure where your body rests and let that contact have your full attention.
You can shift your position if that helps you feel more supported.
Bring your attention now to your hands.
And let your fingers unfurl if they are tightened.
Feel the palms in the places where your hands touch your body or your clothing and allow them to rest there Notice your breathing.
There is no particular rhythm to achieve,
Just let the breath move in a way that feels easy.
Feel one breath coming in.
Then follow the movement as it leaves.
If attention to breathing feels a bit uncomfortable for you,
Just stay with the feeling of your hands resting.
The unresolved situation may return to your thoughts.
And when it does,
Notice what your mind is asking you to do.
Are you starting the same conversation again?
Are you trying to predict the answer?
Recognise the effort involved,
And then say to yourself,
I don't have an answer yet.
Notice how it feels to acknowledge that.
There may be disappointment,
You may feel an urge to start thinking again immediately.
Give yourself a few breaths before you do anything with that edge.
And feel your hands resting gently.
Where they are.
An urge can be uncomfortable without needing an immediate response.
You can feel the impulse to check and keep your hands still for another moment.
You can notice a question appearing.
And just let it remain a question.
Stay with the contact beneath your body.
If you've spent the last few moments trying to work it all out again.
That's okay.
Notice that you've returned to something important to you and then let your attention come back to the feeling of sitting or lying here and take your time finding that feeling.
Now,
Ask yourself one practical question.
Is there a useful action I can take?
Keep the question close to the situation you chose.
An action means something you can actually do.
Asking for information for instance.
Rehearsing every possible answer is more thinking.
Just give yourself time to recognise the difference in this particular situation.
If inaction is clear.
Then acknowledge it.
You can decide when to do it after the practice.
There's no need to carry it out in your imagination now.
If no useful action is available,
Then you can recognise that too.
Because for the moment you are waiting.
Notice what happens when you allow yourself just to know that.
View the body again.
And let your shoulders ease as much as they comfortably can.
Allow your breathing to continue at its own comfortable pace.
Waiting can leave us feeling as though we're suspended until life gives us permission to continue.
But there are ordinary things available to you while this remains unresolved.
Bring one of them to mind.
Like something you would like to give your attention to after this practice.
Keep it simple and possible today.
Picture yourself being that activity.
The uncertainty may come along with you.
And when it draws your attention away,
You can recognise it,
Then feel what you're doing with your hands.
And give your attention back to the activity you choose for a little while.
For the next few moments,
Let the practice just become simple.
Feel your body resting.
And when a question appears,
Leave a little space before following it.
And then return to the feeling of contact.
Notice how you are now.
There may be less tension.
Or you may feel much the same as you did when you began.
But you've taken some time to notice how you respond to uncertainty.
And it's that noticing that gives you the opportunity to choose where your attention will go next.
Begin to feel the room around you.
Move your fingers and make any small stretch that feels welcome and available to you.
Allow your eyes to open when you're ready.
As you continue with your day remember the moment of reaching for the phone for the message and remember you can pause there.
Ask if there's anything useful to do.
And if there isn't.
Let yourself return to the part of your day that needs your presence.
Thank you so much for practicing with me today.
I am so grateful to have you here.
Have a beautiful rest of your day.
Go in peace.
Namaste.
