The Best Friend You Ever Did Meet Roly-Poly was soft,
Sumptuous,
Luxurious and gorgeous.
And when I say gorgeous,
I mean GORGEOUS!
From start to finish,
He was and is the finest friend you ever could wish to meet.
Sorry,
Before we continue,
I need to explain for you to understand the most important thing.
Roly-Poly is a cat,
But he is no ordinary cat.
I know you've heard that before,
But let me explain.
To start with,
He has a lovely buttermilk cream coloured coat.
It is however no ordinary cat coat,
Because Roly-Poly is no ordinary cat.
Sorry,
I am repeating myself.
This coat of which I speak is made of soft curly wool,
The kind you may have seen on fat lambs that skip about in the spring.
It is an unsolvable mystery how he acquired this luxurious attire,
Which I might add is always spotless.
His immaculate,
Fine-looking,
Cuddly coat never has so much as a speck of dirt on it.
He keeps it in perfect condition.
He would like you to think he does this all by himself,
But I can tell you that would not be true.
Sometimes,
Early in the morning,
When he can be sure that no one is watching,
He goes out to see his friend Delita.
She is another exceptional being,
Quite the character,
A bubbly,
Vivacious woman who came to the UK from a small country in East Africa called Benin.
Yes,
That is a real country and you can find it on a map,
Which I encourage you to do.
Delita will of course tell you all about it herself,
If you ask her.
She is always telling her customers in the Paws Palace about the time she lived in the warm,
Colourful country with her 14 brothers and 12 sisters.
I know you can hardly believe it,
But it is true.
Delita was round and plump with soft,
Smooth,
Glossy,
Radiant skin.
She had a laugh that would light up the room.
She has a smile to brighten your darkest day,
And you can be sure that she will always have a story to tell you,
One you will never forget.
Roly-Poly had met Delita last summer when he had been out on his rounds.
More about that later.
On this particular morning,
Delita was waiting at the back door,
Excited to be meeting up with her favourite friend.
Like all people,
She could not resist picking him up and snuggling into the deep pile of his creamy coat.
Oh,
You are beautiful,
You are gorgeous,
She cooed.
Roly-Poly was not there by chance.
His visits to Delita were never missed.
He made sure always to take good care of himself,
And he knew all about Paw's Palace and his reputation for fine service and customer confidentiality.
Roly-Poly had a taste for the finer things in life,
And he knew where to find them.
Delita knew immediately what Roly had in mind,
So she took him into her parlour and there he received the premium package.
A lavender wash with special cat shampoo.
Then into the warm tunnel,
Which if you have never received it,
I can't recommend it highly enough.
Of course,
You would need to find the human version.
You get to lie on a big velvet cushion with soft lights overhead,
Soothing handpan music fills the air,
And the best bit,
The warm air softly blows you until you are completely dry.
Roly never told anyone about these visits to Paw's Palace.
They both agreed it would be their special secret.
Now,
Before I continue with this story,
I need to check that you are not confusing Roly-Poly with other felines.
By now I hope you realise how special he is.
For instance,
One thing he does not do under any circumstances is hunt.
You will never find him chasing after those disgusting smelly rats and scurrying meeses.
I hope you agree they are revolting.
He would also never kill a dainty little bird,
Which is a terrible crime against nature.
You see,
He has no need to go hunting because he has his own entourage of staff that provide him with everything he could ever want or need.
Food,
Shelter,
And a never-ending supply of fuss.
Roly-Poly,
You have to understand,
Has no fixed abode.
He moves from place to place whenever the need arises.
But do not make the mistake of thinking him feral.
If ever you made this assumption,
You might see another side of him.
He is not given to bite or scratch.
His look of utmost disdain would be enough to tell you the enormity of your faux pas.
Roly-Poly is far too gorgeous to ever be described as feral.
So let me explain what I mean when I say he has no fixed abode.
Firstly,
Roly-Poly loves the freedom of the open road.
He loves adventure.
But even more than this,
He loves helping people.
He turns up at the doors of lonely old ladies when they are sad because the longed-for visit of a friend was cancelled at short notice.
He will go and snuggle up on their lap,
Staying until they doze off to sleep,
Then quietly slips away.
He will find his way into care homes and secretly go from room to room,
Spreading his love and kindness.
Sometimes he will go to the park and find a boy who has been bullied sitting on his own,
Sauntering in and out of their legs,
Purring and smiling.
In that moment,
The boy forgets his troubles,
Feeling for once that he matters.
Roly-Poly makes everyone feel as if they matter,
Which of course is true,
And you must never forget that.
He is a kind cat.
Everywhere he goes,
People love him.
He will stay for a day or two,
Then when the time is right,
He moves on.
So would you like to hear about some of his adventures?
These are the ones I know about,
Which is by no means all of them.
Roly-Poly is a modest cat,
Never one to seek fame or fortune.
He just wants to make people happy,
And I can't think of a better way to spend your life.
