The Flying Welsh Wench Roly Poly was about to do a number two in his personal litter box at Paws Palace.
Sorry,
But I do have a reason for telling you this,
So bear with me.
Moving the litter to one side,
He noticed something bright and shiny printed on the magazine that lined his box.
On further investigation,
He realised it was a vintage steam engine.
Dolita noticed that Roly Poly was taking an interest.
She explained that the Flying Welsh Wench is coming to our little town.
We are very honoured.
They are bringing her to Fairfield for the Bank Holiday Gala.
With any luck,
I will be able to get a ticket.
Roly did not need to rely on luck or tickets.
He had his own ways and means of getting around.
The Bank Holiday was just three days away and he was overdue for a break.
As you know,
Roly Poly takes his cat care very seriously.
So he made up his mind to find his own way down to the station in time for the arrival of the Flying Welsh Wench.
What a marvellous engine she was.
A sight to behold,
With her beautiful black boiler,
Her pristine polished pipes,
The handrails gleamed in the sunlight.
The copper-capped double chimney had to be seen to be believed.
Following on behind was an equally marvellous tender and four fine Pullman carriages,
Each bedecked with their own name,
Painted in gold.
Gladys,
Mary,
Joan and Peggy.
All of them fitted out with red leather seats with black piped edges.
The leather-topped tables were tooled with gold,
Complete with working Tiffany lamps and the finest deeply moulded oak panelling.
That's what you call quality,
Simply the best way to travel.
It's almost as if they'd been made with Roly Poly in mind.
He naturally made his way to Gladys,
The first-class carriage.
His arrival was greeted with unanimous glee.
Moving from lap to lap,
Everyone wanted to fuss and stroke him.
Today he was more than happy to oblige.
He never tired of being fussed.
The train gently chugged along through the beautiful fields,
The distant mountains on either side.
They passed by the Ray River,
Wide and flowing,
On over the Funon Fireduct,
With sixteen magnificent arches,
Out into the open countryside.
The journey took them through small farms,
Quaint chocolate-box villages and rolling hills,
Covered in wild heather.
Roly Poly certainly made himself at home in the sumptuous first-class armchairs.
Enjoying the tasty morsels that the passengers gave him,
Everyone seemed to be in good spirits.
A chance to get away from the hurly-burly of everyday life.
Steam trains are perhaps the best way to travel,
Especially if you're not in a rush,
And Roly Poly was never in a rush.
He just loved being with people,
Making them happy for a few hours.
It was always a joy to be around him.
Douglas was on duty today,
Dressed in a smart jacket with a matching maroon embroidered waistcoat,
A gold chain swooped across to the watch concealed in his pocket,
Freshly pressed trousers and polished boots.
He was certain to make sure his uniform was always perfect and in order.
He loved his job,
And always went above and beyond for his customers.
The train was nearing the end of the line as he called out through the carriages,
PENS DOCK!
ALL CHANGE!
Everyone needed to get off.
Everyone that was except Roly Poly,
Who was by now fast asleep up in the luggage rack.
Meanwhile,
David,
The engine driver,
Was about to make his lunch.
He had about an hour before they would all be back on board for the return journey.
The smell of the cooked bacon drifted into Roly's carriage.
His nose began to twitch,
And he opened one eye,
Followed by the other.
The smell of bacon never failed to wake him.
Following the smell,
He made his way along the platform and sat expectantly looking up at the friendly driver.
David,
Who was a wonderful man,
As are all steam engine drivers,
Loved cats,
But even he had never seen a cat quite so GORGEOUS as Roly Poly.
Without thinking,
He picked him up and held him close to his coal-covered overalls.
Roly was far too interested in the bacon to notice that his immaculate cuddly coat was gradually turning from white to black.
David put him down onto the dirty floor,
And even more coal dust covered his belly.
Then he rubbed against David's legs by way of thanking him for the delicious freshly cooked rashers.
Engine drivers always cook their breakfast on a shovel,
Over the fire,
And nothing can beat the taste of bacon cooked in that way.
By the time Roly had eaten his fill,
You would have not recognised him.
His immaculate white coat had completely disappeared.
His two brown eyes peered out from a cloud of coal dust.
When Roly Poly caught a glimpse of his reflection in the shiny shovel,
He was horrified.
He looked up at David,
Startled and traumatised.
He jumped down onto the platform and tried to lick himself clean,
But the coal dust tasted disgusting.
A loud voice filled the air.
Roly Poly!
What on earth have you been doing?
Delita came striding down the platform,
Horrified to find her friend in such a condition.
I take it you know this cat,
Inquired Doug.
There was no chance that Roly Poly was going to be travelling first class for the return journey.
An old wicker basket was found,
And Roly had to suffer the indignity of a ride home in the guard's van.
Delita collected him and took him straight to Paul's Palace.
So Roly Poly,
Or should I say Roly Coly,
Straight in the shower for you.
There was a lot of scrubbing and rubbing and brushing.
Roly Poly had the wash of his life until every speck of dust and dirt was gone.
He was relieved to look in the mirror and find that his gorgeous buttermilk creamy white coat had been restored to its glorious condition.
All in all,
He thought to himself,
After thanking Delita,
It was worth all the bother for that delicious shovelful of David's bacon.
