The Most Difficult Place

The place we most want to avoid may be the very place where life is inviting us to grow. A reflection on why our greatest struggles often contain the very insight we've been looking for. Do we have to like it? Not at all. But that doesn't mean we need to fight it or turn away from what it might be showing us.

Transcript

I just need to remind myself that when it's really hard, When life is really difficult, That is the place where I can grow the most. That is not the first thought I have when I have a stone wall in my face or a roadblock that hinders me from moving forward. The first thing is to not like it, To hate it, To be upset about it. Critical, Judgmental about it. And then. . . I might remember. Wait a minute. I know this, I know this. Where there is the biggest struggles. If I dare to go in with open eyes into the darkness, Instead of fighting it beforehand, Trying to avoid it, If I face it fully. With every part of my body and soul. It will transform into something really beautiful. It's easy when I see a friend or somebody in my family. Struggling, It's easy to then say, You know, This is a chance, This is an opportunity for you to really have a breakthrough. When it comes to my own life. I always have that period of this is a shit place to be. I don't appreciate it. I'm not thankful. Pinshot. But isn't that amazing? Isn't that just. . . Yeah, It's just such a good feeling that. . . Inside of this crap. Is the most beautiful jewel. Why? Because. . . It is hard because something is stuck. And it might have been stuck for a long time. It's like having some gravel in the, You know, These old clocks that have all these wheels that attach to each other and makes the whole system work. It's like there is a stone there that has stopped one of the wheels and then all the other wheels are affected. When I get that gravel out. The whole operating system, My whole life system starts to flow. In a totally more beautiful way. And it was a beautiful discovery and I needed it a lot because at that point I had a lot of struggles. I must say that now, After I turned 50, I feel that there are more good things than bad things. Absolutely. Before, It was more struggle than easiness. But still, I can have a really dark night of the soul. I love that expression. A dark night of the soul. It's where the soul needs to go to get to the bottom of itself. It's It's where it kind of dies and reappears. Select again. And it's often a place where I need to surrender. I just need to surrender. It is when I believe and think that my mind can solve everything. Power. But it can't. You know, Because I'm connected to such a big, Huge living life. Entity, I mean the planet. The nature, The universe. And I cannot. Control it with my mind. It's not possible. And when I get too high on my horse, Like let's say all these podcast episodes, I am reflecting, Philosophizing, I am analyzing, And I'm navigating the life landscape with my mind, But I'm not only doing it with my mind of course, Because then there's no juice into it. I'm doing it together with my soul. I'm getting content and information and knowledge from a library that is open 24-7. So but I'm also when I get to rigid that I think, Oh, I found the recipe for life now. Life has a tendency to show me that you know nothing. In this moment right now, You are newly born. Life has existed for an eternity. You are such a small drop in the ocean. It doesn't mean I'm weak and I don't matter. I can't handle things. It just means that know your place. You came up like a little pop-up human for a second in life's history. Be humble. Listen. And watch yourself. What are you doing? In the moments of challenges, For example, What are you doing when somebody threatens you with something they say or a reaction? What do you do when somebody doesn't confirm you? As a wonderful being. Your child, For example. Your partner. Your mother, Your father. Your sister, Your brother. A friend. What do you do? That's when the inner system shows itself. How does it work in real time? I had that experience yesterday where I was so triggered by my 12-year-old daughter who is fighting for her independence. Everything I have been talking about was gone by the wind. And I was. I was just out of my center. And I'm getting better at afterwards not to just judge myself terribly, But it was a kind of defeat. And it's a necessary one, Because I need to be humbled again. I cannot solve life from fear? Fear mode, It doesn't work. It doesn't work very well. It creates a lot of attention. Conflict. Destructivity. Destructiveness. And maybe that's how life is sometimes also. Maybe that's how life is sometimes. I mean, Like, Also to acknowledge that. Sometimes there is a hurricane, A storm, Everything is teared down. And then the sun comes out again. Well, Yes, Yes, Yes, It is like that, But I really, Really believe and experience that life is a very, Very fine art of balance. When I'm really out of balance in some part of me or in a relationship, It can become very destructive. And dark. And I believe and I have it in me as a mother or as a woman. To find the balance again, To find that place. I place my foot. On the string, Let's say, If I'm balancing on a string, Where I don't lose footage, Where I don't fall down. Or, Yes, Okay, Maybe I will fall down many times. I can hear myself. I'm self, What do you say? It's like contradictory. I say that I just need to be humbled. Life is shit sometimes. Life is wonderful other times. At the same time, I am trying to navigate myself back to a kind of equilibrium where I keep the light in my hand. And my heart in place. I just know that that feels so good and I I just have that in me. That's just a drive I have and I always had it. So yes, I am a little bit like a wet cat from yesterday. But I'm not defeated, I'm not. . . I'm. . . I'm curious. I'm curious, What is life trying to tell me? What is that gravel that is keeping the wheels from running smooth? So let myself, I'm going to ask myself, I'm going to go to the library, My soul library and ask. What is this specific? Conflict with my daughter about, Really. It came very fast. It's about control. It's about losing control. And that creates a little fear in me. My child is not just a child that I need to take care of as a child anymore. I need to guide her into her own independence. Of course it's challenging because she also needs to be taken care of and getting a hug and being a small child sometimes and then suddenly she's almost like a separate entity wanting no Disturbance. But anyway, That's my trigger when I lose control. And that's the moment where I can surrender that I do not have control and it's still okay. The ground is still under my feet. I can learn how to lose control. I can practice losing control. Staying safe! Interesting. That's it for today and I thank you again for listening, Following. And if you have a friend that might love to hear this. . . Please share it. And remember, The most difficult things are where the jewels are. Love you.