Classic Parable | The Porcupine Dilemma

The Porcupine Dilemma is a philosophical story about the challenges of living alongside other people, with all their quirks, imperfections and sharp edges...plus our own!
It explores the delicate balance between wanting closeness and requiring space...and the possibility that a happier life doesn't require us to find 'perfect' people, rather learning how to accept one another a little more readily...
Perhaps the secret isn't finding people who never 'prick us with their quills'...rather it's discovering how to share our warmth without hurting one another quite so much...!

Transcript

Hello there. Thank you so much for joining me for this reading of another classic old parable. This one is a philosophical parable that was published in 1851 by Arthur Schopenhauer. The Porcupine Dilemma is a story essentially about the difficulties of human companionship. We long for closeness to other people and yet our habits and irritating qualities that humans can have can leave it feeling very uncomfortable to live together or be close to others. The way that I personally often like to sum this up is everybody is annoying, Including ourselves. And whose particular version of annoying do we want to deal with in life. There are no relationships without some degree of discomfort, So perhaps we can bring ourselves to questioning which imperfections or annoyances can I accept? Where do I want to draw boundaries? How do I find my own particular form of being comfortable around others? So, Before we get into the story here, Let's just take a moment to have a nice, Deep exhale. Letting go of the day letting go of whichever baggage we might be bringing along with us into this moment. For right now, There's nowhere else we have to go, Nothing else we have to be doing. So we can just relax, Get ourselves comfortable and enjoy another classic old parable. The porcupine dilemma. On a bitterly cold winter's day. A group of porcupines found themselves in a difficult situation. The snow lay thick upon the ground, The wind blew fiercely through the trees, And the temperature kept falling. The porcupines were cold. Very. Cold. I think so. Naturally they did what any sensible creatures might do, They huddled together. Pressing their bodies against one another in an effort to keep warm. At first. It felt wonderful. They shared their warmth. Sheltered one another from the wind and began to feel. The welcome comfort of being close. That. There was a problem. Each porcupine was covered in sharp quills. And as they pressed closer together, Those quills began to prick their neighbours. One porcupine. Moved away. Than another. Soon. They had retreated from one another, Each trying to find a little space in which to feel comfortable. And now. . . They were cold again. So they edged closer and once more they began to prick one another. They moved apart. Grew cold and came back together again. Over and over they repeated this awkward dance. Caught between their desire for warmth. And wanting to protect themselves from the sharp edges of those around them. Eventually, However. They started to discover something. There was a distance at which they could remain close enough to share warmth. Without. Constantly hurting one another. Not so close that their quills caused endless discomfort, Not so far apart that they were left shivering alone. And gradually they settled into this comfortable middle ground. They found a way to be. Together. Perhaps we humans are often like the porcupines. We want companionship. We want to be understood, Accepted, Loved. We want people around us with whom we can share our joys, Our troubles, Our laughter, Our lives. And yet. . . Sooner or later, Even the people we love most. Well. . . It irritates us. Somebody talks too much. Somebody never says what they're thinking. A friend who's always late, A partner who leaves things laying around or insists on doing everything in some particular way. The family member who loves to give advice when we'd rather simply be listened to. We all have our little habits, Quirks, Peculiarities, Blind spots. And the more closely we live alongside others. The more likely we are to encounter these. Every single person has their own particular collection of quills. Quirks. Annoyances. Including and especially ourselves. Sometimes we really do want to establish boundaries or move away from relationships if they just cause us too much pain. But maybe we can recognize that there are no perfect human beings. Not ourselves. Not anybody we know, Not anybody we will ever likely meet. So perhaps the next time somebody gets under our skin, Maybe we can pause for a moment. Take a deep breath and remember the porcupines in the snow. We don't have to love every little thing about another person. You don't have to agree with them about everything. We certainly don't have to be close to everybody. But perhaps we can allow a little room for the fact that they, Too, Are imperfect, Annoying humans just like we are. In the end, We are all out here in the cold together and life can be a bit warmer if we learn how to share it.