Maturing The Mind In Small Steps

When we are working with and maturing our mind, we all envision great leaps forward. But the sobering, yet also somehow uplifting, reality is that the magic lies in the little steps and our sensitivity to identifying and taking these little steps that form the way.

Transcript

In this reflection I want to share about graduality, The principle of graduality. I want to share some insights and some ideas of how to do this, How to. . . Connect to the principle of graduality, How to apply it in your practice. It's something that's important in our day-to-day life. But also very much in spiritual practice. I will talk about what it means to practice in a gradual way. The importance of understanding where you are at this time and besides from that also the skill in being able to identify small steps that you can take from there. In a way, These things are very obvious. But somehow maybe they are so obvious that we miss them. Having not investigated the principle of graduality, What we often do First of all, We set very high goals, Or at least we think about these goals or ideals. But they really truly stay on that level, That level of ideals. And also it implies we like to be connected in our own mind with that ideal. Even though we're not there, When we think of ourselves through that ideal, It's a nice idea. And then it is not always so easy to take the step to see where we truly are at this time. Over time that becomes easier when we also start to see that we can progress from where we are. But I guess even then, At times, Or maybe even regularly, It's not always easy to see where we are at this time. But the paradox is that we truly have to meet ourselves where we are to be able to work from there. And then if we have met ourselves and we have clearly seen where we are, Then also we can start to identify the steps that we can take from there. And that is again another challenging step. Because what we often do there is that we see where we are and it makes us maybe anxious or nervous. It seems very far from where we want to be. And then it's easy to identify or try to take steps that are just so big that inevitably or very quickly maybe even we fail, We get hurt, We don't manage what we want to do and we give up. And it sounds maybe strange but once you start to look at your experience in this way, You might be surprised how often you do this. And it's not strange, It's not a problem. It's just something that we identify and we realize that we can do better. We can do better for ourselves. So again, Two steps that are important that we often miss, The step of identifying where we are. And as well the step to identify what is the next step that we can really take. And then of course the third step is to actually do it. And to do it again and again. And again, These principles we can apply to so many things in our life. But like very simple or very mundane things like working out or training or training in a practical skill. We can also very much apply these principles and we really have to if we want to get good at it. When it comes to our meditation, Our spiritual practice. Changing the way we do things in our mind and in our actions every day, In our speech. So yeah, Let's make an example for a moment. First, Maybe a more obvious example with physical training, Often more easy to relate to. So let's say we want to go for a run, We want to start running and then one thing we might do is we see people do ultramarathons and we consider, Oh never mind, I cannot do that, That's too far. And that we don't run at all. Or we might see, Oh ultramarathons, I cannot do that, But maybe one day. So let me start and let me at least start on my first run. I'll only do a half marathon. And maybe it will work out okay, But in many cases it's not really sustainable and we get hurt, Injured, And we give up. Or we can start it at least with a small run. A few kilometers, A few miles. And it goes well the first run but then the second run we try to double and the third run we double again and we just try to go too fast and again we get hurt, Get injured and give up. And so we want to really identify where we are and find a good amount that we can run today. Maybe an amount that it's not so easy, But also it's not so difficult that we get hurt, We get injured. Or we just dread it so much that we don't enjoy it. And then we also want to identify, How can I grow? How much do I want to add in every run? So that I can keep progressing in a meaningful way, But also that it is sustainable. So we might add only a small amount every time. And if we notice it's too much, We back off a few steps. We go back to a distance that we were managing before. In the same way we want to go about meditation. We want to honestly see how long can I meditate in a way that's comfortable and. . . How many times a day? And then of course we can do a little more than that. We can make it a little uncomfortable. Maybe make it at the last minutes of our meditation. We're quite keen to move on, But we stick with it. But not in such a way that every meditation we dread it because it's just too long, Too much. And then also over time we want to slowly increase or slowly add where we can. And even here we might see that we might add some minutes to our meditation if we reach a good level, That from there the growth in it might be quite small. And of course, The growth is not just in quantity of how much we meditate, But also in quality, And also there we apply the same principles. And again it sounds so obvious, But once you investigate the way you are doing things in the day, So often we don't follow these principles. This real deep mature patience that we develop in this. A certain courage that we need to have to accept and take, Accept where we are and take very small steps from there. And to find that there's a kind of a magic in that. The strength you can have in that, The patience. So many things become possible as long as you're willing to really accept the timelines that are there for these things. And to also see the value in that, See the value of consistency and daily practice. So many things are. . . Are nice in our mind to do them quickly, To do them now. But the real beauty, The real development is really when we do things again and again over such a long period of time. So my encouragement to see in yourself, In a way you can apply these principles in any form of development that you are pursuing. In this case in regard to meditation. Ways that you are working with your speech or the way you think in your mind. Try to identify, Are there any areas in which I'm aiming too high and every time I fumble and fall? Can I identify a reasonable level that I can work from right now? Then can I identify steps that I can take from there and rather be too conservative, But really aim the mind at appreciating more and more the consistency and the long-term efforts. And again, I hope this can help. For me, It has certainly helped that to identify in more detail, Like, Oh, These are the principles in there. How often I would not really clearly understand what is the current level that I'm at, And also not have the patience to work in small steps. And also have the patience to really stick with something for a long time. But again, If you master these skills, There is almost a magic that unlocks. Another level, Many deeper levels to what you are doing. So I wish you good luck and enjoyment in applying these principles and finding your way with gradually changing and working with your mind. I wish you all the best and hereby we together end this session. All the best.