Hi,
Welcome to the podcast of Inside the Mind of a Sport Psychologist,
Where you will hear stories of my journey towards inner peace and joy.
Today's podcast will be about the fire that's burning within you.
I've told you a little bit about the decisions I've made lately.
The decision to sell my company,
To sell my stuff and move house,
And the decision to let go of my boyfriend.
With all these decisions a lot of fear arose.
I started becoming really scared of what would be happening afterwards.
Often I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking,
What the heck am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
I would get all these emotions such as panic,
But also fear and anxiety.
And apart from this my ego was speaking up to try to hold on to the things that I knew.
To try to hold on to the same life that I've had before.
And these negative emotions were logical.
It's part of making such a big decision,
And especially making big decisions in a couple of important areas in your life,
That negative emotions do arise.
But what I want to tell you more about today is that actually when you let these emotions be,
And you do not fight them,
You do not try to resist them,
Because what resists persists.
But you just try to embrace them,
You breathe through them,
You see where they are in your body,
And you still love yourself despite of these emotions,
Or with these emotions.
Then something very interesting happens.
As I went through all these periods of negative emotions,
And I felt like running back to my old life,
Because something really big,
I would call it the ego,
Was telling me to go back to my old life,
There was another voice,
A more silent voice.
I think it was my intuition telling me to stick to the decisions that I've made.
And to know,
Yeah,
It told me that it was a good thing to have made these decisions.
So every time I try to go back to this voice,
I try to go back to my intuition,
And I would remind myself of why I've made the decisions in the first place.
Namely,
That it didn't feel right anymore.
I felt like something had to change.
I felt it because my energy was going down,
I wasn't having so much fun anymore,
And my energy and excitement that I normally have in every single aspect of life was just disappearing.
So this kept me through during these periods of negative emotions.
And slowly,
Very slowly,
Stillness came.
There were no real emotions anymore,
And I had accepted the decisions I had made.
And then suddenly I found myself in a place that was empty.
A place in between the old and the new.
It's like having let go of the old jacket,
But still not knowing what kind of new jacket you're going to buy.
It's almost a grey area.
It's an area that I think most of us are very scared of,
And I was as well.
Because it's an area where we cannot really hold on to things.
Because we don't really know what the new will exist of,
And we have let go of the old.
But actually,
In this period I found a silence and an emptiness inside of me that I had never encountered before.
It was incredible.
I felt so much space inside my body,
And so much room,
And I felt really free.
And even more important,
Within this silence I could feel the fire that was burning inside of me again.
I could feel the energy floating and streaming through my body again.
And that's exactly what I'd missed before.
It felt like my energy was blocked.
I wasn't really moving,
I was standing still.
Even though I had so much in my life,
I had a house,
A job,
A boyfriend,
Whatever.
Everything that actually matters in society.
But within this place of silence and emptiness,
I found something that matters way more to me.
I found back my fire.
I found back the energy that's inside of me.
And I think it's inside of you as well.
Actually I know it's inside of you.
There is a fire within you.
But that fire can only light up whenever you give it the space.
And sometimes that means that you have to let go of the old,
And you have to go through a period of emptiness before the new arises.
But from that place of inner fire,
You're so connected with yourself that you can build a new life that fits so much better than the life that you were living before.
I think it's incredible.
I was so scared of this area,
The grey area,
But actually I find myself in a place that is so much more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.
And most of all in a place that gives me new inspiration,
And a feeling that I'm moving into the right direction,
Because I'm in tune with my fire and my energy again.
So with this podcast I hope you dare to make the decision as well.
Or you at least don't get that scared of the silence anymore,
Of the emptiness.
Because it's part of life,
And it actually gives way to our inner fire.
And our inner fire is one of the most beautiful things that we have.
