Understanding Your Reactions And Creating More Choice

In this short video, I share a couple of simple models to help you understand your reactions and create more choice in how you respond. One looks at the relationship between what happens, how you respond, and the outcome. The other helps you explore how your thoughts and feelings influence your actions and results. It’s a helpful way to slow things down, notice what’s happening, and consider how a different response might lead to a better outcome. This practical approach can help you develop greater self-awareness and respond more intentionally to challenging situations.

Transcript

Have you ever had a reaction to something and then later thought, Why did that bother me so much? In this video, I'm going to be sharing a couple of models to help you understand what might be happening in those situations and how to make a more intentional choice in the moment. The first model is E plus R equals O, Which essentially stands for event plus response equals outcome. So depending on the event, We have a response. And if our response is positive, Hopefully we will have a positive outcome. If we have a negative response, Chances are we are going to have a negative outcome. Let's break this down a little bit further. The next model starts with circumstance. So we have a circumstance, Again that is neutral, And then we have a thought about that circumstance, And then we have a certain feeling, And then we take action based on that feeling, And then we have a result. So an example of this could be, Say you're with your family and you're crossing the road and someone drives through the crosswalk and almost hits you and then you think to yourself, Oh my goodness, What's wrong with this person? Did they not see us here, Like we're trying to cross the road? And maybe you feel very angry and upset about that and maybe you yell something at that person. So if we go back and look at the model again, The circumstance is you're walking through the crosswalk and someone goes ahead of you and maybe they're in a hurry, Right? You could think to yourself, Maybe they're in a rush because they have a sick child or something. And then you might be able to actually feel some empathy for that person because maybe you've had the situation situation like that where maybe you weren't fully present and you would almost run through a crosswalk. And then perhaps you feel a bit calmer and you don't react in a negative way and hopefully that leads to you having a better day because you didn't react with anger. So again, Just remembering the model, There's a circumstance and then you have a certain thought about that circumstance, Then a feeling, And then you take an action, And then you have a result. Be more intentional about the thought that you choose to think about that circumstance, It can lead to a better result. If you found this video helpful, I invite you to leave a review and follow for more.