If you're listening to this,
There's a good chance you've said it,
Those two small words that carry so much weight,
I'm fine.
Someone asked how you were,
Someone who genuinely wanted to know,
And instead of letting them in,
You closed the door with a smile.
I'm fine.
We've all done it,
But have you ever stopped to ask yourself why?
Maybe you're someone who processes things internally,
An introvert,
You've always worked through your struggles in your own head,
In your own time,
There's wisdom in that,
Self-reliance is a strength.
But here's the question worth sitting with,
Is keeping everything inside actually working for you?
Or has it become a habit that you never questioned?
Or maybe,
Some of what you're carrying feels embarrassing,
Too messy,
Too complicated to explain,
Financial struggles,
Relationship problems,
Thoughts you're not proud of,
Feelings that don't make sense even to you,
So you say,
I'm fine,
Because the alternative feels like standing naked in a crowded room,
And I understand that.
But here's what I've learned the hard way,
Through years of carrying things I didn't need to carry alone,
When someone reaches out to you,
When they ask how you really are,
They're offering you something precious,
They're offering connection,
Presence,
The simple human gift of being with.
And every time we say,
I'm fine,
When we're not,
We're gently pushing that gift away.
Do it enough times,
And people stop offering.
Not because they don't care,
But because they start to believe you don't need them.
Now I want to be clear about something,
You are absolutely allowed to keep things private.
Not every person deserves access to your inner world.
Not every struggle needs to be shared in full detail.
Boundaries are healthy,
Discernment is wisdom,
There's a difference between choosing privacy and building walls.
So here's what I want to offer you today,
Not advice,
But an invitation.
What if you let someone in for just part of it?
You don't have to share everything,
You don't have to explain the whole complicated mess.
But what if next time someone asks you how you are,
You said something like,
Honestly,
I'm going through a tough time,
I don't really want to get into all the details,
But it means a lot that you asked.
That's it,
That's enough.
You haven't revealed anything you're not ready to share,
But you've done something important,
You've told the truth,
You've let them know you're human and you've allowed them to be there for you,
Even if just by knowing.
The people who love you,
They don't need to fix your problems,
Most of them know they can't.
What they need is to know you,
The real you,
Not the polished version,
Not the I've got it all together version.
They want to walk beside you,
Even in the dark.
So I'll leave you with this,
Who in your life has been reaching out?
Who's been asking and hearing,
I'm fine,
In return?
And what might it feel like to give them,
And yourself,
Something more honest?
You don't have to have the answers,
You don't have to perform strength,
You just have to let yourself be seen,
Even a little,
Even for just a moment,
That's where connection begins.
So now,
Let's take a breath,
And release it,
And when you're ready,
Carry this question with you,
Into your day.
What would it cost me to let someone in,
And what might it cost me if I don't?
