Les 1
Who Are You?
Affirmation: I am worthy of love.
Homework Assignment: Create a Self-Love Journal:
I ask that you use a notebook or journal specifically for your self-love course and continued work beyond this course.
1. On the top of the page for each day, write the day’s affirmation 3 times.
2. “Who Am I?” Journal Entry
For this exercise, I want you to describe who you are without any filter, judgment or in any relation to another. This means you will not identify yourself as mother, father, friend, wife, or employee. Instead, you will describe yourself in detail about the inherent qualities that make you who you are. Be as specific and vulnerable as possible. Let the writing free-flow and allow whatever words that come up flow onto the paper.
For example:
I am a tender-hearted, sensitive woman. I am an artist. I am a strong presence in my community, yet I am extremely vulnerable in personal relationships. I’m in my middle-aged years, becoming more aware of the value of time, worth and aging. Although I’m confident in many areas of my life, I have self-image insecurities. I have been gifted with beautiful hair, but as it is beginning to change and I find myself feeling identified with my age, and sometimes talk negatively to myself. I am very strong in my pursuits of purpose and healing, I love to help others. Sometimes I get bitchy and angry and feel like a fraud. I’m afraid of certain relationships. I am an artist who loves to paint abstract nature with acrylic. Most of my art never ends up being the image I first sit to create. In the frustration of life flows creativity that comes out organically and I just go with that. I am a pianist. I’m a good friend but I feel poorly that I don’t call my friends enough. In my art I find freedom to be fully me and I feel alive. I am emotional, and sometimes I worry I’m too emotional. I feel like people don’t understand how I process the world. I express myself with words, laughter, tears, art, music, dancing and creativity. I’m generally a positive person but I need a lot of sleep or I get cranky. When I’m alone I feel peaceful but I’m no stranger to loneliness. I love to enjoy a nice long bath and think about the day and just unwind. And on and on I go….
Write one full page.
I ask that you do not move onto the next day’s lesson until fully completing each day. The work may not seem transformative day-to-day, but it is cumulative and important. When resistance sets in, remind yourself that you are committed to love and happiness in your life.
Les 2
Self-Love Language
Affirmation: I love all that I am, just as I am.
Homework:
1. Write today’s affirmation 3 times in your journal for today’s entry.
2. In your journal, create a page with the header:
Self-Love Language
Date:
List 10 statements or phrases that you spoke to yourself today about who you are. Are you in denial and speaking negatively to yourself? Are you dating yourself and offering more superficial acts of love? Are you fully committed to loving yourself? If you have a hard time remembering or catching the internal dialogue, make a post-it note and put on your computer or phone that says something like “What did you just say?” to prompt a mindfulness to your inner voice.
Les 3
Love & Kindness Meditation
I'd like to ask you to take just 5 minutes to sit with yourself and explore this self-love and kindness meditation. One of the most effective ways we can learn to love ourselves is to give the gift of time. Reflection. Stillness. If you are new to meditation, let yourself explore. If you are a regular meditator, see if you can go with this practice and find more depth. Either way, let yourself rest and enjoy!
Les 4
What Do You Value?
Affirmation: I am enough.
1. Write today’s affirmation 3 times in your journal.
2. BONUS PROMPT: Think of one of your favorite people. Someone you absolutely respect and want to shower with affection, love and goodness.
What would you gift them for their birthday or holiday this year?
What do you think would make them truly happy?
For someone you love, you’d likely go out of your way to get an item or create a special experience. And you probably wouldn’t hold back on the expense, either.
So, the homework today is to go and purchase that thing or create the experience that you would for them (or something of similar time/energy/cost) for yourself. No excuses.
Please do not move on to the next lesson until you finish the homework. It’s ok if the course takes a little longer than expected!
Les 5
Identifying Toxic Emotions
Affirmation: Life is working for me, not against me.
1. Write today’s affirmation 3 times in your journal.
Clearing Your Energy Exercises
2. Please pick 3 of the below and practice them regularly.
Smudging: Burning (and/or spraying) sage, Palo Santo, lavender, cedar, copal, sweet grass and other cleansing herbs are great ways to purify your aura, your space and clear the energy of the environment. With positive intentions and offers of prayer, allow the herbs and smoke to collect unwanted energies and particles from the air.
Bath Salts: Dead Sea salts and Pink Himalayan salts are two of my favorites to clear energy. You can use these mixed with water to scrub your body to detox impurities, and also to soak your feet to neutralize unwanted energy. A nice ritual for emotional and energetic clearing is to put the salts in a bowl and lay the palms of your hands on the salts. Imagine the salts cleansing any negative thought, emotion or energy from your body and mind. Gargling salt water is a great way to clear your throat chakra and expression.
Breathwork: The breath is a powerful force of life that can help us release and rebalance stuck energy and emotion. I’ve had great benefit with Holotropic Breathwork. If you would like to explore on your own, other styles of breath movement that are effective include circular breathing, alternate nostril breathing or Qigong.
Movement: Literally moving your body with intention and vigor can help shake up and shake out stale energy and negative emotions. When anxieties are high, stand up and put your arms above your head. Take a deep breath in and then swoosh your arms down in front of you in a swift motion while bending forward with soft, bent knees. Do this 3-5 times.
Les 6
Truth Vs Story
Affirmation: I accept all that my life has been and will be.
1. Write the affirmation three times in your journal.
It’s important to recognize and accept that much of our story has shaped us but doesn’t have to dominate or control us now. When we become aware that the feelings we have are often not true feelings in this very moment, but come from the imprints of our past, they will begin to fade in intensity, allowing for the current flow of life to process. Life will always trigger us, and our inner wounded self will try to say, “Wait! Don’t forget about me, I’m hurting!” But as the adult, committed to personal growth, you can love yourself into health. We’ll focus on this shift tomorrow. You’re doing great!
Les 7
Guilt; Shoulds Vs Wants
Affirmation: I honor myself in every decision I make.
Guilt is an oppressive feeling and stops us from living a life we want. A life that is filled with joy, self-care, healthy boundaries and equality in relationships. It is also one of the biggest traps of toxic emotions.
Stepping into your new reality requires staying present with conscious thought to recognize your truth from your story, your wants from your shoulds.
Les 8
Shame And Guilt
Affirmation: I approve of myself.
We introduced guilt in the last lesson, and now we will address shame and guilt. Guilt is the belief that you have done something wrong, whereas shame is the belief that something is wrong with you. Shame and feelings of unworthiness are responsible for majority of our core wounds and limited beliefs.
Some of our most toxic emotions stem from carrying years of repressed or unresolved shame and guilt. Without understanding where these feelings come from, we can’t move into a state of health. The trickiest thing about shame and guilt is that we believe we are at fault but often have no clear idea as to why.
Don't forget to write your affirmation 3x in your journal!
Les 9
Inner Child Meditation
Please enjoy this Inner Child Meditation as a tool to help access the inner part of yourself that needs your attention. This practice can help with healing the shame and guilt wound that was developed in early years of your life. You can repeat this meditation any time you like and perhaps new memories and needs will arise. Remember that you are showing up as the adult, you can learn to witness and observe your inner child from a new perspective, and as you listen and open your heart you can begin to care for this important part of yourself in new ways. Happy meditating!
Les 10
Speak Your Truth
Affirmation: My thoughts, desires and expressions are valuable. I can speak freely without harming others or myself.
Practice the suggestions below on a daily basis, or when needed.
Voice recorders: Smart phones have made this option accessible to almost all. I want you to speak into the recorder about any issue that feels cramped up inside of today. It could be fatigue, frustration, anxiety, hopes for something to come true…literally talk to the recorder like you would talk to yourself, or a trusted person. The recorder provides a safe place to practice and let it all out, unfiltered. Yell at it if you need, or cry, or say what is missing from your life, what you want and need, how you feel. Tell it your wish-list and why. Let this be a catch-all for thoughts and emotions that you wish you could say to someone. Free the truth when you feel intimidated, stupid, filtering, immature, embarrassed or otherwise want to not do this exercise. Push through that and continue to express.
Journaling: Hopefully you are already using a journal for this course. Allow this to be a place you to record thoughts, feelings and mental checklists. DO NOT FILTER. It is like recording but works a different part of the brain. Make sure your journal is secure, so you feel safe to write. There is no thought or feeling too big or small to write. We all have the capacity for most any feeling and thought and freeing it will unleash the trapped toxic feelings inside.
Les 11
Self-Love Practice
Affirmation: I love and respect myself today.
As with most of life, little things make the biggest impact. The same is true with self-love. So many people equate big-ticket experiences as the only way to care for ourselves. But we don’t necessarily need a weekly massage (some of us do!) or a week-long trip to a retreat to love ourselves. This is an inside job that no spa can offer. For the next several days we will be learning different skills, but for today I want you to focus your time and energy on the homework assignment.
And don't forget to write your affirmation in your journal!
Les 12
Healthy Boundaries
Affirmation: Healthy boundaries expand my capacity to be intimate.
One of the healthiest things you can do for yourself is to establish healthy boundaries. Many people who have certain emotional imprints fear boundaries because they believe it will hurt others or shut people shut out. But healthy boundaries actually expand the possibilities of intimacy.
Don't forget to write your affirmation 3x in your journal! And take your time with the homework.
Les 13
Mind & Emotions
Affirmation: My mind is strong; my heart is stronger.
Emotions are one of the strongest assets we possess. Everyone has access to every emotion, but we have learned to divert our emotions and use our minds to try to make sense of the world. This sometimes feels like the search for mental clarity, but it’s often based in judgement, trying to make ourselves ‘ok’ in relation to the world.
The truth is, every thought we have has a feeling attached to it. We can convince ourselves in our minds that thoughts are stronger than emotions, but perhaps they equally effect our happiness, health and peace.
Don't forget to write your affirmation in your journal today!
Les 14
Commitment To Self
Affirmation: I am confident, courageous and strong.
Congrats! You made it to the last lesson of this course. The final piece of transforming toxic emotions with the power of self-love is to continue practicing opening your heart. Not only will you feel the difference in your daily living, but you will also experience the world become a softer and more enjoyable place to be. To open our hearts we need to practice the art of forgiveness, compassion and gratitude.
